Chapter 38

So we're broke. Great!

Luckily, if there's anything I'm good at, it's living off of nothing. I didn't when the Hunger Games because I was the best at cuddling now did I?

So, Let's see, I can't get a job, I need to be around Annie during the odd hours. Ten in the morning, one in the afternoon, and eight at night are her worst times. Awkward I know, but I can't balance a job between them.

Besides, I'm not getting near that water and no amount of force can get me to change my mind.

I'm pretty stubborn.

I guess it's off to the streets with me. I've got a few good ideas, they're just slightly illegal, but they'll bring in a steady income.

First step, get me some alcohol.

That's no problem; we have enough funds to get our feet on the ground for about a week. I can shorten that by a day or so, spend the money on alcohol, not many people have alcohol, and there's plenty of people that need it, then start my own little business.

"I'll take care of it." I say to Annie as she brings the subject again the next day.

"Are you sure?"

"You can get a job doing laundry for all I care, as long as it doesn't mess with your head." I say touching her temple with a small smirk on my face.

She smiles and giggles. "You're definitely something else Johanna Mason."

I laugh and sweep out the door. I sigh as I walk down the street; people in utter poverty, without even the promise of a roof over their heads are splayed out on the sidewalk.

I enter the colorful and friendly market. It's not so friendly anymore, people are miserable and distrusting, and they eye each person like it was their meal.

In all honesty they are.

I walk up to a sketchy booth selling white vodka. I buy it up with a nice scowl that said 'back away slowly and maybe you won't get hurt'.

Even the most looming and potentially dangerous men on the street corners leave me be.

Oh you killed someone in the war?

I killed four people when I was fifteen. Right, suck it.

I enter a dark alleyway and climb a couple buildings to roam around and find the right gang.

I pull on a black sweatshirt and put the hood over my head. If there's one thing I'm really good at, it's intimidation.

I jump down a fire escape and hang out as I watch a gang come in flashing their guns around.

"Hey you!" Someone calls.

Now's the time to do what I didn't want to do.

I take a swig of one of the bottles. I don't answer them, or turn my head so that they can see my face.

"I said you over there! This is our territory, get out or we'll kill ya."

I don't pay mind.

The biggest and the toughest flashes his gun in my face. In seconds I have the gun in my hand and him on the ground in front of me.

I let down my hood. "Don't mess with what you don't know dumb ass." I say looking down at him.

It's scary how much I look like Johanna Mason. "An ax is not the only thing I know how to kill someone with."

He stands up and opens his mouth.

I pull the trigger shooting the building directly behind him. "Don't think the next one won't hit you."

"Okay we'll leave." He says putting his arms up.

"No, I want in on this." I say indicating the gang. "I need to make some quick cash, and I'm not interested in a day job where I keep my pretty little hands clean. So shut up."

I say flipping the safety back on and tossing him the gun back. "I got alcohol. I want more than just alcohol."

"You want our drugs?" He says his eyebrows going up.

He has his gun back, but he hasn't recovered his tough guy façade.

"What's wrong with a little money? Think I'm not capable of handling it?" I say snorting in derision. "You saw me on television."

He nods. "Me and my boys will have to think about it."

"Think about it all you want." I say smirking. "I won't be here next week. By tomorrow you better make your decision." I say handing him three wads of cash I had lifted from his 'boys' pockets. "And pull up your fucking pants."

Then, I'm gone up the building wall and quickly make my way back, leaving the alcohol behind.

I walk back to the house and smile at Annie. I go straight back to my ax. I carve it in more detailed strokes of a knife, after that, I carefully sand it down with sand and a palm leaf I got from the beach.

I carefully carve into the top of the handle right below the indentation I made to mark where the blade will be attached I write four little letters. FO+AC.

Annie has some sort of break down on the couch and so I go to quickly console her. She's sobbing into my lap as I think about how I'm keeping us afloat.

There are easier ways of doing this. But, I don't care. I'd rather do something I'm good at.

Annie's starting to show now, a little round bump where her stomach used to be flat. I'm not all impressed at all.

She seems to have her panic attacks less and less.

I think this kid may be good for her. Right now, I just want to leave. I'm a Victor, and our instincts are to take care of ourselves first. Naturally, selfish. But I can't. Sometimes I look at Annie and wonder what would happen if Scarlett had won.

Finnick would still be long gone.

What if Annie doesn't get any better? What if she can't take care of Junior? What then?

I can't take care of him that's for sure. I don't want anything calling me 'ma'. I wince every time someone introduces a sibling for fucks sake!

At least I don't have my parents on my conscience. Ma died of cancer apparently; I touch my thin hair now. It's like downy feathers on a little bird. It's soft and if I distract myself I can wash it, but it's not the hair I had.

Pa? Don't know what happened to him. Scarlett said that he disappeared when I was reaped.

I wonder what he did. Did he walk, and walk until he couldn't anymore? Did he jump off a building like Harry? Did he find someone else and just leave us?

I don't think he would do that though. He loved us. I've seen enough of hatred to know what love looks like, and Pa loved us.

I sigh and go back to sanding my ax handle.

Xavier would have been ten today. I haven't left the dark corner today at all.

I look at the initials I put on my ax. I decide to add a few more. N+P+PE.

Nuts, Pink, and Prim.

Nuts was not close to me, but she was friendly and helped the rebellion. Seeder and I were actually pretty close. Prim? I don't know why I put her down. Finnick and I were as close as two people can get without gluing themselves to the other. Annie, she didn't die per say, but she might as well have died in the war.

I've got new names to add onto the list of people to haunt in my dreams.

I could have easily saved Nuts if I had been paying attention. Seeder? I don't know what happened to her. Prim? I don't know if I could or not. Finnick, if I had just been there it could have been me. It could have been me.

It should have been me.

I told him. I told him that I'd rather die than let him or Annie die.

I don't know if I'm jealous or regretful.

I'm finally done the handle. It looks nice.

I look at the fire and think. I don't have enough money to buy a blade, and making a blade out of flint would work but I want my ax to last.

I look over at my weapons case.

I dig through until I find a dull knife with a serrated edge. I hate this knife and it looks like the handle is made of the same metal if I take off the cloth.

I get up and walk over to the kitchen where Annie sits sipping tea. "Hi Johanna!" She say brightly.

Wow she's a ray of sunshine today. I grunt a response. I don't want to talk today.

I get some scissors and cut the cloth from the handle.

I retreat quickly back to my corner.

I pick up my hatchet and start chopping. I start enhancing the fire to get it to get hotter.

I quickly build myself a bellows and look at the fire.

The way it looks, it could be hot enough.

I look around and find a sword that I had stolen from one of our rival gangs.

I stick the tip into the fire and wait. When I pull the sword out, its glowing orange. I spit on it and listen to it sizzle.

Great.

I search the house. Nothing.

"Shit," I grumble to myself.

I walk out of the house and look at the beach. I can see the crashing waves. If I ignore them I can get what I need and be done.

I pace the beach until I find it. A nice flat rock, maybe seventy pounds, but I can get it on my own.

I use the environment around me to lift the rock from the sand and get it so that I can drag it using a Peacekeeper jacket I find underneath it.

It's disgusting, wet, and really fucking cold, but I can use it.

I get it to the back door of the shack before I take a breath. That was difficult, but I powered through.

Next is the two steps I have until it's inside, then, it's easy chopping from there.

I strain my body as I pull it up the first step, no time to rest it'll fall from the step, I make another heave to get it up the second step, and then I yank it over the threshold and into the house.

"Johanna?"

"I need to make a blade for my ax, in order to do that I need this." I say dragging it easily through the kitchen and into the living room where my corner stands almost ready. I get my rock into position.

"Okay," I say smiling. It feels weird smiling on Xavier's birthday, but it's because of the work. "I need a hammer and something to hold metal that's really hot, I also need something to scrub that rock clean, and then I need a bucket of water to cool the hot metal."

"You're making your own blade like a blacksmith?" She says looking at me.

"Yeah," I say looking at her. "We don't have enough money for a brand new one, and a used one would be pointless, besides I may or may not have dated a blacksmith's kid at some point."

She laughs the kind of laugh that you have to clutch your gut, the good kind of laughter. I smile at her with a lopsided, endearing smile.

Annie gets me a scrubbing brush and some soap and water. "Here, run wild."

Way ahead of you.

Once the rock is clean I find the rest of the materials I need. A hammer, some old steal prongs, and a big bucket of water, all of that, and set it up so I can start the process.

"It's gonna get loud Annie," I say as I start getting the fire as hot as possible.

I set the knife in the fire and slowly start to shape it into the blade of an ax.

I stay up for three days not once stopping until I have my blade with a hole going along the side of it to put the handle into.

I shove it into the water one last time while Annie watches mesmerized.

I pick up the handle and put the ax together entirely. The handle fits so snuggly it doesn't need glue.

"Give it a try!" Annie says excitedly as I run outside to throw it at a tree.

With a whirl the ax hits the tree and stays there.

"Yes!" I say yanking it out of the tree happily.

I look at Annie. "This is awesome." I say smiling like it was my birthday.

She gives me a fake smile and nods.

Well, she may not appreciate my ax, but I love it. It's like keeping everyone that died in the war close to me.

A/N Okay, so this chapter did not really go how I wanted, but next chapter will have what I wanted to write in this one. I hate set up chapters like these . However they're necessary. Review? Let me know what ya'll think I love reading what ya'll have to say!