I had robbed Sakura for whatever written material I could find and taken off for the flower shop. I was going to be a mother and that very soon, but I had no idea what being a mother would mean. What if the baby just cried? What if I did something wrong? What if I killed her or even worse, what if she hated me?

I had to read up. I had rushed through the doors ready to beg Umeko to help me out at home. Ready to pay whatever price she named. She just looked at me with confusion in her eyes. My face must have been red and sweaty from rushing and I was panting heavily.

"Ino? Are you okay? Is there something wrong?"

I shook my head trying to get my breath back so that I would be able to beg her. If she refused I would have to do something as drastic as inviting a stranger into my home, move in with Sasuke and Sakura or even worse I would end up with Itachi. That could not happen, I would just get in the way for him endless parade of women.

"Umeko, are you busy?"

"It's been a normal morning?"

Shoot, I would have to be more specific. She had no idea what I was asking and I was starting to fear that I was frightening her.

"Good, but I mean: Are you busy as in do you have any missions or something planned outside of work the next couple of months?"

She shook her head slowly. Normally we wouldn't know if we had missions that far in advance. There were some exceptions but normally we'd have a days notice tops.

"Would you like another job outside the flower shop?"

Her lips contracted and started moving from side to side as she was thinking about it.

"It won't be stressful or even that much work."

Umeko was still pondering and I was starting to fear that she would turn me down.

"I need some help around the house, I'll be on bed rest meaning I can't do everything myself anymore."

I hadn't wanted to put it this way because I was afraid she would start asking questions. Why Itachi wasn't helping out, why didn't I just move in with him? I wasn't in the mood to tell her that I currently despised the father of my child and hadn't it been for the love I have toward my own father I would do everything possible to keep him away.

"You'd let me?!"

Umeko shrieked and pulled me into a hug. I just stood there concentrating on holding my balance as my weight shifted. She let go of me when she realized that I wouldn't return the hug.

"Sorry."

She was calmer now and offered me a smile.

"Don't worry, and of course I'll help you! We'll have so much fun!"

I regretted ever asking her. I regretted inviting such a positive life force into my house, my home. It wasn't the time, not even with the life growing inside of me. My home wasn't a place of happiness. Within it death still dwelled.

I would invite someone I didn't know that well into my home. My home where I had once been a part of a happy family with both three and two members. Where I had taken my first steps, the first home my parents shared as a married couple.

It was also the same home where I had argued and fought with my father countless times, where three became two. It was the place where I kept all that was left of my father, where clan secrets were held.

I had invited her into the very core of Ino Yamanaka, into my very core.

She was thinking it would be fun. I grew suspicious that she would be able to handle the task. She would have to, or I would do it all on my own.

We sorted out the details and I went in the bookstore and must have bought every book containing the word baby. I had a lot to read up on. Babies didn't come with user manuals. I didn't have time to learn when the baby would come.

I felt almost like a child flipping through the books realizing there was so much I didn't know. There was so much I hadn't thought about at all. Would I use disposable diapers or would I use cloth? Would I breastfeed or use formula? What were the pros and cons? Should I even talk to Itachi about things like these? Was this was he wanted to talk about when I wanted to sleep with him?

Was my life crumbling to pieces?

Yes

Having Umeko around proved to be a great help. She stayed with me in daytime and left in the evenings, but as my due date was getting closer we opted to clean out the spare bedroom so she would have somewhere to sleep.

I grew closer to her each day that went by. I hadn't expected it. I hadn't expected that we would braid each other's hair and laugh at each other's failed attempts when it came to boys and pretty much everything else.

She came in with some soup one evening. I didn't have much of an appetite anymore. Still I would force myself to follow the nutrition plan Sakura had made out for me. I had a check up the next morning. I was excited about it. My due date was getting closer by the second. I hardly had another month to go.

They said she would come early. What a load of humbug. Not even the hot weather had made the baby want to come out. She already loved her mother and wanted to stay as long as possible. She would no longer be considered premature.

My body had changed. It had problems realizing just how big I had gotten. Sakura had been right when she claimed that I would really start growing when my third trimester started. She had helped me get this far and I would be forever grateful for her help no matter how annoying her nagging was.

I hadn't seen much to Itachi since that god awful attempt. He hadn't sought out me and I hadn't gone looking for him. Now that I actually didn't leave the house anymore there wasn't any chance of me bumping into him either. He had to come to me and it didn't seem like he wanted that so I would leave him to whatever and whomever he was doing.

Sakura had briefly mentioned that he was doing better, he had weekly appointments and he was on medication. She only said it so that I wouldn't have to worry about him around the baby when it was born.

That one was less worry I had. Don't worry, I had so many more and it was keeping me up at night. That with the constant need to pee. I once contemplated asking Sakura if she could help me hook up my bladder to a bag so that I wouldn't have to seemingly spend half my day in the bathroom.

"Oh! She's kicking! I can see it!"

If Umeko was able to see it, I'll let you know I could feel it. She was constantly torturing me with her feet and I could feel it. She was strong, really strong.

"She's such an abuser."

Umeko giggled and sat down in her guest bed we were sharing, with her own bowl of soup. I liked having her this close. I had always known I had picked well when I hired her, but I had no idea we would get this close.

It seemed naturally having her around. Like we fitted together. It almost felt like I had grown up with her, like she had always been part of me. She even looked somewhat similar to me. It was small things. Like the angle of her eyes and nose, we were about the same height but she was bigger than me. No wonder, I guess I would have been about her size hadn't I been eating lean since my early teens.

"Choji is coming over for tea after your session tomorrow."

I nodded. He was glowing now a day. He had his life figured out. I was on bare ground, but I wasn't worried. Things would work out for the best, I had a feeling. I was bouncing back to a better version of myself. Nothing could knock me down, nothing could make me give up. Ibiki was right, I would always survive.

I almost looked forward to going back. Things would be better this time. The workload wouldn't be extreme and I wouldn't have work outside my job. I would have a child and that was a ton of work, but I remember back when my father worked and took care of me. He never complained once, I would follow in his footsteps.

People say that there comes a time in a daughters life when she realizes she's turning into her mother. I never had one and was proud I was striving to become more like my father.

My strong, fair and poised father. I wished to be as serene as him. So calm, collected and strong no matter what the universe threw at him.

I had a feeling he would have freaked out had he lived to experience his unwed daughter get knocked up by Uchiha Itachi.

I laughed and Umeko looked over at me.

"What you thinking about?"

"My father."

She smiled hearing that the memory of my father didn't just bring me sorrow anymore. I was able to laugh thinking about what she assumed was happy and funny memories.

"I'm hoping I'll get there with my mother."

Umeko looked down pulling at my comforter. It wasn't cold at all, the act was purely to seek comfort from the outside world.

"I never had a mother, what's it like?"

It was true to me that I never had a mother. I didn't remember much of her. If I was going to be a mother I would need to know what having a mother was like. I didn't have much of an idea what motherhood was like. I had tried talking to Kurenai about it, but she was busy being a single mother and I felt like her experience didn't apply to mine. No one has experienced what I'm going through. I would let Itachi take part in the life of his daughter. For her sake. So I wouldn't be alone with her, I would have some help.

"It was the best, she taught me everything it feels like. She was always there for me. It's all about the small things, like how soft the laundry was when she did it opposed to my father, the notes in my lunch, how she would brush my hair when she knew I wanted to look extra good at the academy, she just knew what to say."

My father wasn't always the expert on what to say. This became clear when I became a teen and he often seemed out of his wits and awkward. I couldn't blame him thinking about what kind of outfit sometimes greeted him in the morning. He quickly learned that he couldn't make me change clothes, or change my mind about anything.

"I miss her cooking, and her sweet words."

Umeko sighed and clutched her locket. She always had it on. Always. I had never seen her without it.

"Sounds different than a father."

Umeko giggled.

"Yes, it is. Nothing compares to a mother's love."

I placed my hand on my stomach and the worst kicking stopped. I was terrified of when that time came, but speaking from a biological standpoint I couldn't wait to have her out.

"I know she loved you too."

I didn't say anything assuming she spoke of my mother. My mother had never loved me. My mother hadn't been worthy of the title and I should have denounced her to birth giver because that's all she was to me.

"I'm going to be a much better mother than she ever was."

"How do you feel about having a growing family?"

I smiled. I was excited. It had never been as real to me as it was now. There was nothing natural that could stop me from becoming a mother. There was no turning back.

"I'm terrified with joy."

Umeko giggled and looked down at me patting my stomach.

"I guess in some sense you're gaining the Uchihas as family too."

It was part of the bargain I had told myself and it wouldn't be too steep a price for what I was gaining. It would actually have been worse if my first had knocked me up. He had a better family but his clan was so much worse making it a much worse deal.

"It can't be that bad, you'll have to love family."

"Do you think you'll have more children?"

I had always wanted three children. Three was the magic number, me and my spouse would be leaving more lives behind in the world when we were gone. Three was a great number. Having just one child was the stupidest thing. Statistics said that shinobi parents had shinobi children and it sadly wasn't unlikely that they would die.

That plan was down the drain.

"I don't know. I had a great time as a single child, but it was lonely sometimes."

It was lonely at night when dad was either at work or sleeping. In the daytime I always had my team but when the sun set I was always alone.

"Do you wish you had siblings?"

Umeko started fidgeting with something and I felt her shift in the bed. I didn't respond to her. I wasn't sure. If I had sibling I wouldn't be alone. I wanted more than one child. I would have more than just one. I wanted a big family.

Umeko dropped her locket on my chest. I picked it up as she looked at me with eager eyes. She fervent nodded for me to open it.

The first picture didn't cause a reaction from me. Judging by his look it was her father. They looked very much alike. The other picture caused my heart to stop on the other hand. Long warm blond hair, eyes like mine.

"I… Eh… We're sisters, half-sisters!"

My long forgotten soup was sent flying to the wall. Soup splashed all over the bedroom.

"INO!"

Wide eyes matched my ones. I could feel my eyes shaking. I handed her locket back. I couldn't stand being in contact with it. I couldn't stand the face it contained.

I jumped out of the bed and walked over to the door.

"I'll leave, but I want you gone before I come back tomorrow morning."

COCOCOCOCOCO

Mari: I'll finish, no worries!