Kokoro no Hanashi

INTERLUDE

:Naze Nani:

Aura: So now you all know why she's always been so bitchy and logic-driven and royally mean to the entire party! If I may just have a show of hands as to who was surprised? Heheh. You could've figured it out from all the hints I dropped across the story, but since you were missing huge chunks of Aura and Kaze's backstory up until "The Endless Ballad" chapters, I'd say that would've been a slim chance. I did tell you that there was a reason for it all!

The Endless Ballad: Obviously the title comes from Aura's true identity as the Endless, but the Ballad part comes equally from KnH's basis in music and the Black Ballad enemies from the Final Mix of the original Kingdom Hearts.

The King: Our heroes may meet him someday. As to who he is? It's obvious if you have any knowledge of the Kingdom Hearts games. If you don't… well. Things that are dead obvious, I don't need to keep secret. Sing it with me: M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E… (/shot) I'm not the biggest Mickey fan when it comes to Disney canon, but in the KH series, Mickey pwns, and it's hard not to love that.

Maduin: Kaze doesn't really summon Maduin in any part of FF:U, at least to my knowledge (the novel, "Their Bond", still hasn't been translated yet, after all…)—I made Kaze summon him because Maduin's really the only Holy-based summon I know of except Alexander, and Maduin's history in the game that introduced him (FFVI) was particularly appropriate for this moment in Kaze and Lisa's relationship. AWW, ROMANCE. But seriously, though, Maduin is epic win. So of course he had to show up here.

Mary's Diary: Anyone remember how way, way, way back when, Joe told us how Mary left to try to contact the capital…? This was closure for that part of the story, as well as a way to alert Fabula to the truth about what was really going on.

About what's going on…?: As promised, Fabula will explain the situation in the next chapter. I'm not going to spoil it for you at all; y'all can wait like good little readers until she spills.

Fabula's Transformation and Ultima: Ultima is a powerful spell used throughout the FF series (first seen in FFII) as the ultimate nonelemental spell, and it's often personified as the powerful monster Ultima Weapon, the counterpart of the infamous Omega Weapon. In many of my works, such as the –nH series and Midnight, the form its beam takes (a spiral around a straight line) symbolizes the holy union of Soil and Mist that represents the true meaning of being Unlimited. This will probably not be mentioned again in KnH, so I figured I'd better at least point out that much. Once she's released her full powers, Fabula takes the form of a white-clothed goddess with blue wings (if you've seen the end of Tales of Symphonia, you should get the reference in their design…), and her hair is quite a bit shorter than usual (it's layered and has different lengths, so this would be shoulder-length to roughly bust-length). How much power she uses to break the seal determines how long she can remain in Ultima form.

Say what now about Unlimited?: Think about it for a moment or two, and you, like the rest of us, will notice that Fabula is in actuality the third Unlimited in FF:U canon, not just here in KnH. Here, she's already explained that she can't access her powers without great cost because they were sealed before she became a Guide. Her backstory will not, however, be disclosed here, unlike the other characters' pasts. You'll learn more about the circumstances under which she first used Ultima in Hikari no Hanashi.

The Heartless guarding Ivalice: I know it's really, really hard to tell, but the five of them are actually Marche, Ritz, Mewt, Doned, and Llednar from FFTA. The setup of the battle, and the short scene before it, are a reference to the first Ambervale battle in that game.

"Stupid Kiri": Note that even though Aura was irritated with him, she's still calling him by first name… You've probably noticed this trend with Lisa, as well—the way the characters address each other is partially indicative of their relationships. Even though they'd been through a lot and grown very close, Aura's continual reference to Kiri and Lisa by last name was a conscious choice on her part, which is both rude and very disrespectful, as it hints that even after everything, she still dislikes and distrusts them. She started calling Kiri by first name, if you remember, after Kara raped him—when, in essence, she became his caretaker. Largely due to pity, she finally allowed him a lot closer to her than normal. Aura's just started to refer to Lisa by her first name and does so begrudgingly, mostly because she's decided that Lisa might be good for Kaze after all.

As a side note, Kaze still refers to most of the cast by last name. This isn't out of any particular disrespect—it's because he's such a quiet person in general, and hasn't formed close relationships with anyone but Aura and Lisa yet. Hence, if Kaze did start calling anyone else by first name without a suffix attached, it would be disrespectful, similar to Aura's continued use of last names—here it would imply that he's looking down on them and doesn't have to respect them by acknowledging what distance remains between them.

Characters' language is complicated like that. I'm trying to convey stuff that would be written in obvious fashion if KnH were in Japanese. (About in the middle of the story, I wrote out nice big charts of character relationships and how they talk to each other, with what pronouns and suffixes they'd use and all…) It's a real pain to do in English—sometimes it's very annoying to try to convey how Aura speaks in masculine terms—but if readers have gotten a sense of these things already, without my having to explain everything, then I've done my job.

Kiri and Kumo: Their battle in "Dragonheart" consciously played on a light basis in episode 18; the whole scenario was me basically turning the events of episode 18 on their head (which some of you noticed—good readers, cookies for you). Kumo's power hasn't developed to the point where he can stand against Kiri as more than an equal right now, and because he couldn't think while Kiri was forcing himself to think, Kiri was barely able to win.

Dragonheart: I'm sure that several of you figured out that I've been gearing up to give Kiri a Keyblade for a while. But still, the scene was dramatic and pretty, which was really the point. The reason why he has one and the purpose of all this gearing up will be addressed further in Hikari no Hanashi and especially in Saigo no Hanashi. Dragonheart was really fun to design.

Ansem: The Ansem of this story is, in Kingdom Hearts terms, Ansem the Wise and not Xehanort. Like with several of the other characters—Ai and Yu, most significantly, and also members of the Legaia cast—his age has been adjusted slightly. The changes to his appearance (longer hair particularly) are because of how long he's gone controlled by something that doesn't care very much about such petty things as haircuts and shaving one's face.

Kiri's Tarot reading: Didn't get the chance to mention this last time, but Kiri's reading is an actual reading that could've been cast for him. I'm a total Tarot geek myself (and yes, I do have my own deck, although I don't get the chance to cast cards for many people), and so writing out his fortune was a lot of fun. A lot of Tarot reading goes into being familiar with the ways the cards interact, and how they apply to the personal circumstances of the diviner. The Hermit, for instance, doesn't usually symbolize inevitability, but for Kiri's reading it did because of its universal meaning of a journey and all the cards basically screaming to him that much of his destiny was already foreordained.

Absolution: I drafted the first edition of that chapter in May of 2005, and have been periodically nitpicking at it ever since. When I posted it, I had to be sure it was as good as I could get it, since HAY, there is so much important relationship development taking place there. Oh, and fan service. Can't forget the fan service. I hope y'all enjoyed that. If it were any more graphic, I'm sure I wouldn't even have been able to post roughly half that chapter on FF-Net. Hee.

Since there won't be much time for this once we get into the next chapter and the rest of the story, how 'bout some morning after scenes, further relationship development, and (shock, gasp!) Lisa's backstory? Have fun, y'all!

---

Mittsu no Inori

The fate that's awaiting us all in the end—I want to forget it when I'm with you.

---

The birds' chirping and the pale light of dawn slowly, gently brought Kiri out of what felt like the best sleep he'd had in months.

"Nn." He squeezed his eyes a little more firmly closed. He so did not want to wake up. He felt wonderful—a few aches here and there where he'd overstrained muscles fighting, and his hips were a bit sore, but the tangled sheets were so warm on his bare skin and the air was pleasantly cool on every part of his body that wasn't covered.

Unfortunately, though, Kiri found that he couldn't just willfully go under again. With a despairing sigh, he opened his eyes and smiled at what he saw.

He and Kumo had fallen asleep curled around each other, and even now, Kumo was nestled closely into the curve of his body, the graceful line of one arm arced over the crumpled sheets to rest along Kiri's waist, the other folded between their bodies, the lovely long fingers curled endearingly around a stray tuft of Kiri's hair. Kumo hadn't awakened yet, and the way the low light teased shadow along his slightly parted lips, the delicate brush of his black lashes against his cheeks, and the mussed fluff of white that curved appealingly around the nape of Kumo's neck held a picturesque beauty that just about broke Kiri's heart.

Smiling, he leaned down and very lightly kissed Kumo's cheek. His brother murmured and shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake.

It must have taken real courage for Kumo to come on to him so viciously the night before, Kiri knew. But he was grateful, so grateful that he hadn't been able to resist being tempted. He'd always entertained the vague fear that there would be nothing but guilt in a morning after that came before they'd planned, but—although Kiri knew that he'd caused Kumo deep physical pain in their savage, awkward coupling, he also knew that they'd shared something incredibly precious. Kumo had been right, very right—it was a good thing that they had this now, that they would always have their memories of being together, no matter what happened in the future.

His heart so full of love that it almost hurt, Kiri gently slid out of bed, careful not to wake Kumo as he did so. As long as he couldn't get back to sleep, he might as well collect their clothes and try to find out what, if anything, there was to eat here.

---

Aura woke to the steady drone of rattling water droplets.

She was a lot groggier than usual, but then, she'd stayed up a lot later than she usually did. Her eyes felt heavy and gritty, probably because she'd cried—ugh, if this was how people usually felt after tears, she definitely wasn't sorry to have missed out on the experience until now. As for the rest of her—her body had that loose, limber feeling she'd come to expect after sex, but she was a lot more relaxed than she remembered having been before.

Then again, Aura didn't think she'd ever spent a full night with someone who realized that they called it fooling around because there were bound to be moments of awkwardness when you were inexperienced, and stuck with it long enough for things to get very hot, and very good. Nothing had ever… clicked for her like that before, and it had felt right sleeping next to Fabula, in a way that it never had with anyone else.

Aura felt as though something missing had finally slipped into place.

So… she could be sure this wasn't just 'attraction' or 'feelings' alone. …Love. It was a strange word, one that had always felt out of place for anyone other than Kaze, and one that felt even more out of place now that she knew—what she was. Still, there was a warm pain in her—from deep in her soul when she considered it now.

She sat up, sighing. The other half of the bed was empty, the sheets neatly turned down without disturbing her own side, the pillow and bedclothes still rumpled. When Aura touched the slight indentation, it was warm.

Making a face, she sat up and picked her way across a floor strewn with discarded clothes to the bathroom. Since this was a fairly high-class inn, it was big, with a sliding sheet of glass to cut off the shower instead of a row of curtains.

"I thought you'd be out for a while yet," Fabula said with a glance over her shoulder at Aura before she closed her eyes and leaned back into the water's heavy spray.

"Yeah, well. Showers are loud." Aura sat on the wooden bench next to the wall and leaned back as she watched. Soaked through, Fabula's long silver hair trailed in wispy tendrils to her body appealingly, beads of water coursing down their length. It was close to the color of Aura's hair now, deep silvery-gray—Aura's turned very dark, near the color of molten lead, when it was wet. She admired her friend and lover's figure against the glass for a moment, then frowned as she saw the jewel hanging at Fabula's forehead. "You're wearing that into the shower?" she asked incredulously.

"I can't take it off," Fabula told her. "It's not like I enjoy having my powers sealed, but really, this thing is all that keeps them in check—it's for the safety of everyone around me. As long as I'm alive, I'll have to wear this—I can't even remove it to practice my control."

"…That's a little harsh," Aura said at length, her frown deepening. "When all that happened, couldn't your people've given you time to adapt?"

"Maybe they should've," Fabula replied with a regretful smile. "But our strength had been drastically reduced, and everyone was in a panic. They didn't know how else to cope with me other than to make sure my powers couldn't break out. It was a long time ago. I'll tell you the whole story later, if I get the chance."

"…………" Aura still wanted to point out that it'd been selfish and stupid for them to not think of the feelings of the one who'd saved them, but for Fabula's sake she bit her tongue. As she sat back and watched, Fabula turned the water off, opened the shower, and stepped out, wrapping a towel from her breasts to her hips before sitting down next to Aura.

"I wanted to thank you," she said with a smile. "You've given me something important, something I've needed for a long time. I've—felt things for you, with you, that I never believed I would be able to feel for anyone again, not after the last person I loved ended up dead because of me. I felt—as though I didn't deserve that kind of happiness. But you—you gave me so much of yourself. That man… you mustn't let the things he said bother you. No matter what you happen to be, your soul is as human as anyone else's."

"…I should probably thank you, for telling me things like that," Aura said wryly. "I don't know what I am; I don't know how real my so-called emotions actually are. You treat me like a person, you tell me you love me, and you're even willing to have some damn fine sex with me, even though you know I'm not human at all. You don't owe me anything."

"…Hmph." Fabula shook her head and leaned against Aura, closing her eyes as her smile went crooked. "Lust is physical. Love comes from the heart and the soul. I've felt love enough to recognize what it is that draws us together. Either way—we won't have any regrets after all this. I have everything I've ever wanted or needed in life, since you've let me close to you."

---

Kaze and Lisa sat half-dressed side by side on the bed, watching the sun come up.

Leaning into his shoulder, Lisa glanced up at him almost shyly. "Kaze… would you mind it much if I talked for a while?"

He looked down at her with a somewhat surprised expression. "…No. What is it?"

"Well, I…" Lisa sighed and closed her eyes. "It seems a bit unfair for me to know about your background and where you come from, without you having any idea of mine—or what this… you and me… really means to me.

"Like I told everyone back at Conkram, my parents were married as part of a political treaty. My village lies on the border between Archaea and Qing'An, the country south of here, and we're a very small and humble place, where everyone desires only to live in peace. My mother and her mother before her and so on and so forth—all of them were born there, and every one of them died there.

"There's really not much of interest there to anyone—other than the fact that that village is the only place in the world where people are taught Kigenjutsu. Every woman there was taught it, and many of the men as well. To the duchy near us in Qing'An… we presented a threat.

"There was—not really a war, but a conflict, before I was born… or so I was told. Many of the villagers gave up their lives, and the duchy's army took heavy casualties, since they didn't know how to combat Kigenjutsu. Eventually, the duchy wrote up a non-aggression treaty with the village, and as a part of that treaty, my parents were…

"It—wasn't a happy marriage. I remember that much. My father was not a kind man, and he was interested too deeply in social status to really form any ties with my people, who he believed were beneath him. They split up when I was a little girl… my father had some crisis to see to on his family's lands, and my village wouldn't have allowed him in to see me even if he did want to. From that point on, my mother and I lived alone, and she trained me to use Kigenjutsu.

"After she died, I… I left Qing'An. I knew I could also use healing magic, so I went to be taught at the university in the south of Archaea. That was the first time I really ever had friends… or felt like I was a part of something I could enjoy. I love my home, I do, but—life there is very focused on discipline, so much so that kinship and even open expression of one's emotions are frowned upon. I was always told there… never to let my heart to ripple. But at the university, people told me that it was alright to feel shame and sadness and anger. I owe a great debt to the people I met there, one I doubt I can ever repay.

"Once I'd graduated, I found work at the Hayakawa fiefdom and continued to study. When I saw what Ai and Yu's family had… it hurt. I was—jealous, even, seeing that they had loving parents who adored them and each other and made their children their highest priority, even above ruling their lands.

"I… decided then, that if I ever fell in love, I would make sure I had that. Real love. For my husband, and any children we might have. Maybe that makes me as naïve as Kiri, but I believe that there's a way things should be. If I couldn't have that, then… any children I bring into this world will. I'll make sure of it."

"It's… not naïve," Kaze told her, seeing that she was finished. "It's… good sense. And a fine goal."

She smiled up at him, soft and bright in the morning's low light. "You forgot that it's advance warning," she chided him gently, almost playfully.

"…?"

"I want you to know all this because once this is all over, once everything is said and done—I'm going to marry you," Lisa told him.

She had the pleasure of seeing Kaze's eyes go wide with that peculiar masculine helplessness and watching him cast about in a near panic for something he should say before she rose up against him and kissed him into silence.

---

Kiri slipped back into the bedroom, laying out his and Kumo's clothes and weaponry on the floor for when they'd be ready to go. He had no idea where Fabula had managed to pull a set of Kumo's swordsman's whites from, but he was glad of it—that stupid cotton getup that those people had forced him into was trollop's garb. And besides—now that he'd succumbed once, Kiri was sure he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to jump on Kumo if he went around wearing something that screamed "ravish me" as much as those clothes did.

As he walked back to the bed, he fingered his Keyblade pendant absently. He hadn't put any of his other clothes back on, but this was something of a lucky charm, and besides… if it'd had anything to do with Dragonheart's timely appearance last night, he owed it at least a good wearing.

When he eased back onto the mattress, Kumo stirred slowly and sleepily, opening slightly bleary green eyes and reaching out to Kiri.

"Take me," he murmured in a low voice that was nearly a purr.

Kiri shivered as he felt one long pull of desire through his belly, then sank into Kumo's waiting arms, taking a long taste of those sweet lips as he straddled his lover, with only the sheet in their way.

And then, not even that.

As they took their pleasure slowly and tenderly, almost in apology for the night before, the two of them and Kiri's sacred charm rang with the heartfelt plea in the back of both their minds.

Please don't let the future ahead of us take this away.

(TBC)