CHAPTER 37 - DOUBT

Bella's POV

Edward stood and took my hand in his, ready to lead me upstairs he began walking but stopped suddenly when his cell started ringing.

He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at it.

I frowned when I saw his face change. His mouth fell open and his brows knitted together in confusion. He looked completely shocked. He glanced up at me and his eye's were wide and thoroughly perplexed.

"What!?" I asked not understanding. "Who is it?"

He stared down at the cell vibrating in his hand and shook his head questioningly.

"Its Evan?" he gasped.

We both stared at the cell in awe.

"How do you have Evan's cell number?"

"I bought her the cell Bella! I took note of the number" he sighed.

"Are you going to answer it?" I asked quickly.

Edward shot me an unsure look, he hesitated for a second before lifting the cell to his ear to answer.

"Hello………….?" His brow furrowed slightly and there was a pause.

I stood impossibly close to him, desperately trying to read his face. His doubtful looking eye's fell on mine and he shook his head slightly.

"Hello….?" he repeated………… "Evan?" he asked carefully. His voice was surprisingly gentle.

Then his eye's tightened a bit as if he was hearing something, I just stared up at him impatiently.

Edward let out a short deliberate sigh and smiled slightly before bringing the cell phone back down from his face and slipping it back into his pocket.

I stared at his pocket incredulously before shaking my head at him in confusion.

"What?!……What just happened?" I asked not understanding any of it. "What did she say?"

"She hung up!" he replied, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Why?….Is she alright?" I was beginning to worry.

Edward was fully grinning now. I shook my head at him again and hung on to his arm.

"Okay explain to me what is going on Edward because I have no idea!" I was beyond frustrated.

"It would seem Evan didn't mean to call me!" his familiar crooked grin on his face.

"Huh…….?" was the most articulate response I could produce.

"I assume that she dialled the number unintentionally." he continued.

"How do you know that?" I asked him.

"Because I could hear her…." and he chuckled slightly.

"Wait! How did Evan get that number?" I asked pointing at the cell hidden in his pocket."

Edwards grin fell of his face and he frowned before rolling his eyes.

"Alice!" he explained in an exasperated tone.

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Evan's POV

Jacob left quickly when he realised that Charlie would be home soon for dinner. We'd fallen asleep on my bed post our afternoon make out session and well…..more. My face flushed crimson when I thought about what we'd done. What Jake had done to me. Also I could not remove the massive guilty grin that seemed to be surgically attached to my face. I bit my lip remembering Jacob's hot fingers. Then my mind began working over time wondering what would happen the next time we were alone. Would he do it again? Or would it be me that would be doing things to him. My cheeks flared redder than ever. I was so inexperienced. Things between Jacob and I were progressing more and more quickly, they always seemed to accelerate and jump another step forward during each encounter. It didn't take a genius to figure out where it was leading to.

Before Jacob left he made me promise that I would ask Charlie if I were allowed to go to another bonfire tomorrow night at First Beach with him and his friends. He seemed confident in me being allowed to go but I knew Charlie's mind would be neurotic with the fact Jacob was now my boyfriend. I would have to tread carefully and be on my best behaviour. I thought some major ass kissage would be a good start so had quickly made one of the few meals I knew to cook; spaghetti bolognese. It was ready and waiting on the kitchen table for him when he walked through the front door.

"Hmmmm, something smells good!" I heard him call out as I was just throwing the pots into some steaming hot water at the sink.

"I made dinner, its on the table!" I called back.

Charlie was sitting down staring at the meal in front of him by the time I turned back around from the dishes in the sink.

"This is great Evan….just what I felt like!" he sounded sincere.

"Really….you felt like bolognese tonight?" I asked sceptically.

"Of course….you must be psychic!" he joked.

I smiled back at him, he seemed in a good mood. I was glad, it was going to make it easier for my later request to sleepover at First Beach.

I joined him and neither of us wasted any time at getting stuck in and our dinner soon disappeared before us. I was never one to have much of a big appetite but then again, today, I spent little time eating much as I'd been too distracted by my unexpected house guests.

"I'll do the rest of the dishes…" Charlie offered when he was done.

"No …no I will do that. You've been working all day, go through and watch the game on the TV, I'll grab you a beer from the fridge." Even I knew that this sounded like I was sucking up.

Charlie glanced over at me cynically for a moment but said nothing and shrugged his shoulders before getting up and heading for the living room.

"If you insist Evan…." he yelled back.

And I knew from his tone that he was on to me.

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I decided it would be a good idea to allow Charlie some time to digest his dinner and chill out in front of the TV before bombarding him with my non too subtle request to spend the night with Jacob.

I remained in the kitchen and was now sitting back at the table holding the thin black square in my hand that Alice had given me.

I stared at the cell phone curiously, turning it over and over in my palm. I almost expected it to self combust or something. Perhaps Edward had booby trapped it with some sort of devise. I could not figure him out at all. It was only last night that things between us had reached an all time low, making no attempts to hide what was really going on between us. That he had sinister secrets he desperately didn't want me to know about and resented me for not giving up on them. He showed me that I would not succeed in my pursuit for the truth and he was willing to go to all lengths to make a mockery of me if I attempted to go against his will.

My anger at him when I left the Cullen dinner boiled in my blood. I was beyond furious. I had declared war on him last night and had every intention of following it through. If it weren't' for three unexpected obstacles that seemed to trip me up and throw me way off course.

The first was Jacob. His reaction to my behaviour and obsession with Edward was impassioned and condemning. He basically put the brakes on my whole operation. I had come to a complete dead end there. He made me doubt what I was feeling and suspected in a matter of minutes. I was still very confused by that. When Jacob felt strongly about something you didn't misunderstand. It was made glaringly clear.

The second was Alice Cullen. The confusing hyperactive pixie who by association and family name should be right up there with Edward on my hate list. But somehow, unbelievably this strange curious girl had managed to catch me right off guard and easily confounded and bewildered me. She was equally unusual and mysterious as Edward; her adoptive brother but unlike him she was surprisingly warm and not intimidating. I wanted to hate her but I could not at all. I loathed to admit it but I liked Alice.

The third was Edward himself. His disorientating gift and unanticipated letter of truce. I had to admit it, if his mission was to completely baffle me he had succeeded tremendously. Did I take it as sincere and genuine or another game? I honestly didn't know. Everything seemed to be stacked against me to accept the first. To stop acting out, to end my battle with Edward and to give up on my distrust and interpretation of him, the real him that he was hiding from me. The one I could sense that sent alarm bells ringing in my mind. With no one to talk to about this, no one to confide in and perhaps see things from my perspective what did I do now? Did I just try to take things a day at a time but remain vigilant? Was it time to call his bluff and agree to a truce?

Curiosity got the better of me and I began to play with the cell. The thing was incredibly complicated to me, nothing like the simple straight forward cell I'd had before. I perused through the folders and functions. It was more like a computer than a cell.

"He definitely got this to confuse me…." I sighed aloud.

Abruptly I discovered my contact list in the cell, I shouldn't have been surprised to see it already full of names. Alice had hinted that she'd already added to it when she told me her number was in it. What I wasn't expecting was the a amount of contacts I had. There were the obvious ones…Alice, Bella, Charlie, Charlie's work, Cullen House…. But I didn't expect to find Carlisle's cell and work number! I carried on scrolling as I went through the alphabet. That's when I discovered his number. 'Edward'. I can't believe Alice entered his cell number. For what possible reason could she think I would want that? In fact. Did Edward even know that I had his cell number?

I leaned back in my chair gawking at the cell again, this time Edward's name was the thing I was seemingly fascinated with. My fingers fiddled with the cell as I screwed my eye's up at his name.

'DIALLING'

"Fuck!" I almost shouted.

It was dialling! My mouth hung open and my eye's nearly popped out my head as I frantically tried to figure out what I'd touched to start dialling his bloody number. My heart bounced down into the pit of my stomach before nearly jumping right back up and almost out my throat. I felt positively sick..

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, I screamed inside my mind. How the hell did I stop it?

It was still dialling, and then suddenly it stopped.

He'd answered.

I tried not to choke.

"Hello……….?" I heard his voice ask out curiously. Edward's signature strong velvet tone had a little doubt in it.

My heart pounded.

I wondered or more like hoped for a moment whether he had any knowledge that it was actually me. Perhaps he didn't, if I remained silent until he hangs up I could get away with this. Because panic was certainly preventing me in ending the call myself, my brain had ceased to function coherently.

"Hello……?" he asked again.

Pound, pound, pound . My heart thudded inside my chest.

"Evan?" he asked knowingly.

"Fuck!" I gasped. "Shit!"

Oh my fucking god. He knows its me! I wanted to the ground to swallow me up.

I fiddled with the phone frantically. Deciding to press everything I could think off in a mad rush.

"Shit…" I gasped again.

END CALL…..

I shrank back in the chair as the cell dropped out my hand.

Too late though.

Edward knew it was me. He knew I'd called him. And what were the repercussions of it?

"Bloody Alice!" I cursed.

I hid my face in my hands with embarrassment. I bet Edward enjoyed my slip up and I cringed at that.

"Evan…? You okay?"

Charlie's worried voice snapped me back to reality. He was standing in the doorway.

I quickly composed myself.

"Fine…." and tried to smile.

Charlie just rolled his eyes at me. He wandered over to the fridge to grab another beer before turning back to face me.

"Fine…" he repeated sceptically. "What's up?" he tried again.

He knew I was bothered about something. I chewed on my lip trying to think and then it hit me.

"I need to ask you something." I said quickly.

Charlie tilted his head at me curiously.

"So ask.." he encouraged.

"I was wanting to ask you…I wanted to know if it was okay if I went to First Beach tomorrow night?" I tried not to look guilty.

"First Beach?…..tomorrow night?" he raised his brows at me.

I nodded in response.

"What's happening tomorrow night at First Beach then Evan?"

I opened my mouth to tell him but the image of Jacob and I making out in the darkness while lying on the sand suddenly entered my mind and I blushed.

"Jake's friends are having another sleepover at the beach, there's going to be a bonfire like before." I explained.

"Hmmmm, another bonfire eh?" Charlie now sounded amused. "So this is why you were sucking up tonight, thought I'd say 'no' did you?" he teased.

Perhaps the first beer had done its task and unwound him.

"I wasn't sucking up!" attempting to deny.

"Didn't you go to First Beach today?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. That's how I got invited." I replied.

I realised for half a second that I'd never lied so much in my life since before arriving to Forks.

I stared at Charlie.

He was going to say 'no' I just knew it and I was going to have to sneak out instead.

Charlie just nodded and watched me quietly. A smile slowly broke out across his face and he laughed out loud.

"What!?" I asked surprised by his behaviour.

"You look so guilty Evan, you should see your face!" he chuckled.

I frowned in response.

"I'm only playing with you. Don't take me so seriously. I'm not the bad guy. Of course you can go and stay over at First Beach. I let go before didn't I?"

I sighed in relief.

"I just thought because of Jake and I that you'd be funny about it." I confessed.

"Well, I'm not too comfortable about that but, your 17 Evan and well, I trust that you will behave like a responsible adult. Just tell Jacob from me to be on his best behaviour or he and I will be having some words.!" he warned.

"Sure, Jake's a complete gentleman.."

Charlie laughed out loud again.

"Gentleman….? Never heard him called that before. Got to tell Billy that one." he was highly amused.

"He is…" I defended.

Charlie smiled warmly.

"You like him a lot don't you." he asked genuinely.

"Yes" I said quietly. Why did he always ask me that?

He sighed. "Okay. I'll stop teasing. I know Jake's a good kid, I've always liked him." he admitted.

"I knew that.." rolling my eye's.

Charlie chuckled again.

"Well, just so you remember before you go gallivanting off to First Beach tomorrow. I spoke to Carlisle today and he's popping over in the morning, going to take out those stitches" he pointed at his own head as he explained.

"Oh right!". I'd completely forgotten about that.

Great. As much as appreciated everything Dr Cullen was doing, the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt when he looked into my eye's was always too much. Its like he knew what I'd been up to with regards to scheming against his son Edward and I'd feel so ashamed about it. The kindness radiated from Carlisle and whenever he would talk to me I felt like I wanted to tell him things I shouldn't. That was dangerous, wanting to give the enemy too much information about yourself.

"Make sure you thank him now…" Charlie asked. "He's going out his way to make a house call when you could just have this done at the hospital."

"I know that." I admitted. "I will thank him." I promised.

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The following morning I called Jake to tell him I got the 'okay' to go. He just laughed, and gave me a confident… 'I told you so' back in response. He went on to tell me that he was going to get things organised with Quil and Embry today for the bonfire, pick up a few things in Forks like before. I told him about Carlisle coming over to take out my stitches and he didn't say much about it. Again no resentment in his voice from mentioning a 'a Cullen'.

All Jake was interested in was making sure I knew he would be picking me up at mine around dinnertime and then driving me over to La Push before heading to First Beach to meet up with his friends. I'd asked why we weren't heading straight to the bonfire and that's when Jake embarrassingly confessed that Billy wanted to meet me again, but this time as his son's girlfriend.

Charlie had left for work and asked I wait until he was home before leaving with Jake. It didn't take a psychic to realised he was wanting to have a little talk with Jake before letting me go off with him for the night.

I was in my bedroom packing up a bag to take with me tonight, ensuring I had remembered everything I needed when I heard the front door go. I quickly glanced out the window and spotted Carlisle's slick black Mercedes parked outside.

My stomach did a little nervous flip as I descended the stairs to reach for the front door.

When I opened it I stared up at a the handsome smiling blond Carlisle, who towered above me.

"Good morning Evan?" he greeted warmly.

"Morning Dr Cullen" I replied shyly.

Carlisle must have spent all his time indoors working because he was always so pale. His skin was like porcelain, just like the rest of his family.

I'm sure Charlie had mentioned that the Cullen's like camping and the outdoors? They certainly didn't have weathered skin and rosy cheeks.

"It's 'Carlisle' Evan, just 'Carlisle'.." he informed me.

"Okay.." this was a little awkward.

"Shall we take those stitches out?" he asked.

And I realised I hadn't even invited him in yet.

"Oh, of course." ushering him inside.

We sat in the kitchen because Carlisle insisted it had the best light despite it being overcast again this morning. I hoped it would clear up like it did yesterday.

He pulled up a chair and sat opposite me, his bag was open on top of the table. As he was getting set up I began talking because the silence was making me uncomfortable.

"Um, I really appreciate you coming over here to do this for me Dr Cu…um Carlisle. I know your really busy and should probably be at the hospital right now and I just wanted to say thank you for doing this …" the words kind of rushed out my mouth nervously.

He just smiled back at me.

"Actually, I'm not working today Evan. I'm going on a camping trip later today with the rest of the family."

"Oh….camping. So is…., um is everyone going?" I wondered that by everyone would Edward be going away and leaving Bella by herself.

Carlisle now had his surgical gloves on and leaned forward to take a look at my wound.

"Everyone except Edward and Bella." he said.

"Oh"

Nothing else was said as Carlisle went to work and after a short while he was finished.

"The wound has healed well, there's a small scar but it should fade" he told me.

"Thanks, I really do appreciate everything you've done." I told him sincerely. "And…." I swallowed my pride as I struggled to continue. "I wanted to thank you and your family for having Charlie and I over for dinner it was very nice of you all to do that."

Carlisle stared at me curiously and then smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that Evan. The last thing we want is you not to feel welcome."

The guilt soared inside me once again.

"And I heard Edward replaced the cell he broke" Carlisle added. I did not miss the fact he left out 'by accident'.

"Yes…yes he did" I could not hide the surprise in my voice. "How did you know about that?"

"He told me he was going to. He didn't want you to be upset with him".

"He didn't?" I asked.

"Of course not Evan!" Carlisle sounded surprised by my doubt.

I began to wonder then how much Carlisle actually knew, I was beginning to realise more than I'd previously thought.

"You and he are not getting on." he observed.

My face fell, and my mouth hung open.

But he gave me a reassuring smile and then he seemed to sigh.

"Is there something I can do to help?" he asked.

"You want to help?" I asked unconvinced.

Carlisle knew a lot, I realised. He was Edwards father after all and I knew he must know everything.

I could think of nothing to say.

"There's a lot you don't understand about Edward, maybe I should explain to you. I know he is not my real son but I know Edward more than anyone."

"Why are you doing this?" I almost whispered.

"Because I want you to know he's not who you think he is!" Carlisle explained.

I frowned.

"Then who is he?" I asked. I couldn't help myself.

"He's very stubborn." Carlisle laughed softly taking me by surprised.

"I think I knew that." I whispered.

Carlisle smiled and nodded. "I think you'd be surprised how much you both have in common."

I wondered if that was his way of telling me indirectly that I was very stubborn also.

"Edward is a complicated soul. He can see too much sometimes. Overanalyses situations and sometimes that causes him to overreact."

Like snapping cell phones in half and breaking down bathroom doors? I wondered.

"What I'm trying to say is that he's very sensitive, and protective. Perhaps you have both read each other wrongly and taken certain aspects of both your personalities and misinterpreted them."

I stared at Carlisle and listened carefully to what he was trying to tell me.

"What do you think?" he asked.

My eye's went wide and I could think of nothing to say.

But instead of moving on Carlisle just waited.

"I don't know what to think…" I eventually told him.

"Of course…" he said quickly. "You have a lot going on at the moment. A lot of changes in your life. It can be extremely overwhelming."

I just looked into his dark topaz eye's and tried not to think of those changes in my life I preferred finding things to distract me. Things like……….hating Edward and trying to figure out his secrets. And that's when it hit me. That's when Carlisle's words seemed to sink in and make sense. Had I been hating Edward for the wrong reasons? Was I choosing a bad guy to take out all my frustrations on?

I was startled and drawn from my thoughts when I felt Carlisle's icy hand touch mine.

I jumped.

"Your hand is so cold!" I blurted out before thinking first.

He glanced at his own hand and smiled again.

"I'm sorry…" I said quickly. "That was rude."

"No it wasn't, you were just telling the truth. My hands are cold. I don't have the best circulation…" he laughed softly.

He stood abruptly and started organising his things together.

"Well I better be on my way. Got a busy day ahead of me." he told me.

I walked him to the door and he turned around one final time to smile at me.

"Thanks Carlisle…..for everything." I said sincerely.

"I hope to see you again soon." then he pointed at my head. "Try to stay safe." he warned me.

And he left.

I pulled my new cell from my pocket and stared at it.

Maybe it was time to take Edwards letter seriously. Maybe I should call a truce for everyone's sake. No one seemed to see things from my way anyway. Not even Jake now. I looked over the contact list and selected the name, then I dialled the number.

I held the cell to my ear and listened to it ringing.

Then it stopped.

"Hello?" asked a careful voice.

"Bella….I think we need to talk." I told her.

Well, I had to start somewhere, I wasn't going to jump in to the deep end right away.

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Authors Note

Sorry for the delay. Things have been very hectic lately.