Chapter 37: To Have and to Hold

If Prim wanted a flashy wedding, well…she'd gotten a flashy wedding.

I peered over the balcony of the top floor, gazing down at the guests mingling in the foyer of the impressive Hawthorne home. The scene below was the epitome of upper class and everything any girl could have dreamt of wanting for her wedding day. It was a bit much (okay a lot too much) for me, but Prim had always pictured of something like this. Guests were still ooing and aahing over the elaborately decorated main foyer that was dripping in white Christmas trees and garlands, every inch covered in either twinkling lights or something crystal and shiny. The white marbled floor shone like a diamond below, reflecting the elegantly dressed guests. They'd come ready for the wedding of the season followed by a New Year's Eve party that would put all others to shame.

Hazelle didn't plan to disappoint.

I spied Peeta below, talking politely with a few guests as he patiently waited for the wedding to start. He was in his black tuxedo, his sleek black tie and neatly combed back hair making him look more dapper than usual. I smiled to myself as he listened patiently as an older woman in a fur coat rattled on and on about something. He was sweet to agree to come here with me despite how uncomfortable I knew this whole ordeal made him. I turned away from the balcony and headed back to where Prim was still getting ready.

My sister sat down the hall in the large guest suite, surrounded by a hair and makeup team I'm sure most celebrities would be jealous of. No expense had been spared for this occasion and I was honestly a little overwhelmed by all of it. My necklace and bracelet I'd been directed to wear were a stunning rhinestone set, or at least I thought. Hazelle had haughtily informed me that they were on loan from the jeweler in town but that I could 'purchase them afterwards if I was so inclined.'

She was lucky I'd already had a glass of champagne that day and wasn't inclined to slap her.

Prim gave me a nervous little smile as I walked back into the room and dutifully clicked a few pictures with my camera. Even without her dress on yet, she was likely to an angel as she sat in front of the window in her bathrobe. The setting sun was shining through the drapes making her golden blonde hair shimmer and her blue eyes bright. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I needed to be happy for her today. If this was what she wanted I needed to do my best to support it and celebrate beside her like nothing was wrong.

People flitted around her, fluffing her loose golden curls and touching up her face powder. She gave me another smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and I frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Do you need something?"

"Maybe some water," she replied nervously. But her anxiousness didn't mean she was any less bossy today. "Shouldn't you be in your dress?"

"Oh," I muttered, nodding as one of her hair people handed me the hanger. I handed her a bottle of water with a straw and made my way to the bathroom to change into my black bridesmaids dress. I still loved the overpriced gown, even if it was the most outlandish thing I'd ever had grace my body. I slipped it on and groaned to myself as I stepped into the heels Prim had made me promise to wear at least until the cake was cut. I carefully teetered out of the bathroom and watched as the beauty team she had assembled helped her into her elaborate wedding dress. The finishing touches were added and we were soon off. I paused at the top of the stairs as the guests were ushered into the large tent on the back of the house; they were going to be married in the tent, then everyone was going to the dining room for a cocktail hour while the tent was set up for the reception. After the last guest was carefully ushered out, we made our way down the ornate staircase towards the tent.

The music started playing and I heard Prim squeak nervously behind me. "I'm about to walk," I warned her. "You're sure?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes at me. "Yes Katniss, I'm sure."

"I had to ask," I muttered under my breath. I could hear the live string quartet start the music I was to talk to, the loud twittering crowd inside the tent falling silent.

I nodded and reached over to squeeze her hand. She gave me a smile and bobbed her head once to let me know she was ready to do this. When the doors to the tent swung open and I saw that waiting crowd, my stomach did a tiny flip. At least a hundred and fifty people were seated in the pretty white chairs, their faces turned towards me as I gripped my bouquet of white roses someone had handed me at the last minute. The smell wafting up from them as I stood under the heat lamps of the tent made me a little sick as I waited for me cue.

Time froze as I stood in the doorway, staring down the white isle runner all the way to the stunning, rose covered arch at the end. Rory stood waiting with the pastor, Gale standing at his side. I swallowed a little lump in my throat and shifted my eyes to the other side of the aisle. Peeta was standing on Prim's side in the front row of seating, his arm out as my mother leaned on it. Her blank eyes held a miniscule shred of interest as I slowly put one foot in front of the other. The strings played as I walked, my shoes making barely a sound as I marched carefully down the aisle. Gale stared at me from one side, Peeta from the other.

I felt a little sick.

Closer and closer I got, each footstep inching to the altar. Gale gave me a smug look of approval, his grey eyes flashing as he eyed me in my black dress. I tried not to frown too much as I took my place and waited for the doors to open again. I exchanged a look with Peeta and noticed that his jaw was clenched tight and his blue eyes were blazing. I gave him a questioning look which he shook off and looked away. I glanced at Gale and realized the two of them were eying each other like it was taking every ounce of self-respect they had not to lunge at one another. Gale ignored my look of warning and didn't even flinch as the doors opened and the wedding march began.

Prim floated down the aisle in her white gown, the layers of tulle catching lightly on her feet as she walked. I watched as Mr. Hawthorne walk her down the aisle with a bored look on his face and said a silent little prayer that my father wasn't rolling in his grave. He had always claimed weddings were a happy time to laugh and have fun. I think if he could see the look on Mr. Hawthorne's face he would probably make faces behind the pastor until he laughed right along with him.

He's not here though, my mind chided. He's gone.

I gripped the bouquet in my hands as Prim reached the end of the aisle, the smell of all the roses almost overwhelming. I normally enjoyed their unique, fragrant scent but today it was making my stomach turn. She joined Rory beneath the flowery trellis and handed me her bouquet of red roses. Everything in the room was white, down to the chairs, then isle, the flowers – all except for the trellis and Prim's bouquet, which were red. The stark colors in the room made it look like a scene from a movie as everyone sat and smiled politely while they exchanged their vows.

"I do," I heard Prim's shaky voice echo.

I could feel Gale's eyes on me as the ceremony progressed, his gaze focused on me through the vows. I refused to look at him, even going so far as to look over at Peeta and smile.

Forget Gale, I wanted to remember my wedding to Peeta. Not now, my brain chided me. I didn't want to have some big, emotional flashback in the midst of Prim's wedding that would make me space out and look ridiculous. I sighed and tried to push the thought from my mind as Prim and Rory kissed and the tent was full of people clapping and whistling. Prim turned and waved, accepting her bouquet back to walk back down the aisle. When it was my turn to walk with Gale, I gingerly reached to take his arm but stopped.

"We can just walk together. No need for that," I said brusquely. I saw Gale's jaw clench as he shrugged off my remark and stormed down the white runner towards the dining room. A few people turned to gawk as we walked past, but I simply smiled and trailed behind him by a few feet. I stalled in the dining room afterwards, waiting as the people filed out. I grabbed Peeta's arm and pulled him to the side the first chance I got.

"You look…amazing," he breathed, leaning in and kissing my cheek. I gave him a halfhearted smile and shook my head.

"What are you and Gale fighting about now?" I asked. "He wouldn't stop staring me down during the ceremony."

Peeta rolled his eyes. "He was pissing me off, asking a bunch of question about what you remember, shit like that. He's just nervous."

"Why?" I begged, searching Peeta's eyes. He clenched his jaw and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know Katniss, because maybe he still harbors some sick fantasy about getting you back? Who knows," Peeta said, giving me an exasperated sigh. He ran a hand through his gelled hair, mussing it slightly as a waiter handed us some champagne for the toast. I frowned and shoved my bouquet into his arms as I reached up and trucked an unruly cowlick back behind his ear. He held up his glass of champagne and downed the entire glass in one sip. He placed it on a waiting tray by the wall with a clatter, making a few people standing near us in the dining room turn to look. By now people were filtering through the dining room and back into the foyer, where Prim and Rory were getting some pictures taken. I clutched my glass and watched as he stood there, miserably silent. I could tell he didn't want to ruffle any feathers but had truly had it with Gale's behavior. Peeta's eyes were blazing as he visibly fought to maintain his self-control.

"I know he's an ass," I sighed in defeat, taking my bouquet back. I reached up with my free hand and touched his face in an effort to calm him.

"Make that pompous ass."

"I didn't mean to upset you," I told him gently. "I just wanted to know what to prepare myself for, that's all."

Peeta clenched his jaw and gave me a pouty look that a little kid would give. "It was stupid. That guy just says all the wrong things and I get so…weirdly frustrated. It's a pissing contest with him every time and every time I feel like I lose."

I gazed at him and offered him a tiny smile as I placed my arms around his neck. "It's not a pissing contest if you get to take the girl home every time," I gently reminded him. I leaned in, my tall heels making me as tall as him and offering me prime reach of his mouth. He kissed me sweetly, letting his mouth linger on mine for a few seconds. I playfully swiped his bottom lip with my tongue, the taste of champagne lingering on his plump lip. I pulled away slowly, my eyes meeting his. I saw the deep blue of his irises as they smoldered momentarily, the brutal need for acceptance shining in behind his desire. Mind made up, I grabbed his hand.

"Come with me. Hurry," I whispered, pulling him down the hallway. Away from the foyer we went, down the hall and around the corner.

"Katniss….Katniss where are we going?" he asked frantically, digging his heels into the marble floor. He slid a little on his uneasy legs as I gave him a tug towards the bathroom.

"Just…follow me. Trust me," I begged. He allowed me to pull him into the bathroom with me, slamming the door behind us. It was an elegant powder room, just a simple toilet and sink. The crème painted walls soothed my frazzled nerves as we were suddenly alone. I backed him up against the sink and pinned his hands to his sides.

"I love you," I whispered urgently. Satisfied he wasn't going to go anywhere, I took his face in my hands and stared into his bright blue eyes. "I love you. No one else Peeta. You."

He nodded in understanding, his face losing a bit of its angry red tint. I could tell his heart was slowing down by the rate his breathing changed; his shoulders no longer looked hunched and jagged with tension and his eyes softened.

"I know."

"Do you?" I challenged. He nodded, clenching his jaw in a way that told me he only half knew.

"Prove it," I whispered, leaning forward to let my lips brush his ear. Leaning back, I met his eyes and watched as all traces of innocence fell out of his boyish baby blues, replaced with a feral need for me to claim his body as my own. I felt a shudder roll down my spine as the look in his eyes clearly told me I had caught him off guard but that he was undoubtedly intrigued by my sudden change of mood.

Peeta swallowed roughly, shaking his head at me in amusement. I felt his hands rise up and lightly grip my waist, his fingers digging into the satiny material. "This dress is….divine on you, you know," he said roughly. Sometimes his vocabulary did things to me between my legs.

I reached up and traced my hand across his jaw, Peeta turning his head at the last minute to brush his lips across my fingers. They were hot. Needy and hot.

I watched his jaw clench again and I knew I needed him. My body reacted to his touch, a surge of wetness effectively dampening my underwear. I bit back a grin and eyed him.

"You like this dress then?"

"Very much," he choked out, trailing his hands up my sides.

"Would you like to see it on the floor?" I whispered, my voice cracking with nerves. I couldn't believe I was going to do this, but I didn't care anymore.

Peeta quirked an eyebrow at me before shaking his head. "No…I…I think it's just fine right where it is."

I barely had a chance to be disappointed in his answer.

I yelped in surprise as he quickly grabbed my hips again and flipped me so that I was up against the sink. Before I could yelp again he had lifted my hips and sat me easily on the porcelain surface, his hands fumbling to get my dress up around my hips. I let out a throaty laugh as he shoved the long, black dress out of the way with a little effort. I stopped laughing as his fingers deftly hooked around the crotch of my underwear and pulled it hastily aside. He wasted no time shoving two fingers directly into my awaiting heat, his digits immediately caressing me the way he knew I liked. I leaned back on the counter and sighed in relief as Peeta's fingers instantly made me even wetter. He continued with one hand while his other fumbled with the top button on his tuxedo pants. I bit my lip in needy anticipation as he hastily shoved the pants to the floor along with his boxers. His erection sprung forward with a needy bob, already pointing in the direction of where it wanted to be. A wicked smile formed on my lips as he moved closer, removing his hand from my walls to grip my thighs. He jerked me closer, my skin squeaking against the porcelain counter top. I barely had time to inhale with anticipation before he lined himself up with my entrance and thrust into me with one quick motion.

We both gasped out in shock and relief as our bodies quickly acclimated to one another. I felt Peeta's manhood throb inside of me, apparently as eager to be there as I was to have it.

"I need you," I whispered urgently, meeting his eyes. Peeta's eyes flicked up to mine, the dark blue pools of emotion making my knees quake. He nodded, pulling all the way out only to slam back into me milliseconds later. I yelped in surprise and pleasure as he filled me to the brim with no apologies. My core tightened immediately as he ground his hips against mine before pulling out and thrusting back in.

"Oh god…" he groaned, looking down. His eyes were trained on the one place we were joined. The sight seemed to fuel his fire as he wove a hand behind my neck and pulled me roughly against his chest. He groaned into my mouth as he kissed me hard and passionately, his tongue probing through my lips and over my teeth. I kissed him back with equal fervor knowing that he needed this – he needed to know how much I desperately wanted him and needed him.

No other would ever compare to Peeta – I needed to tell him this. I'd already tried to reassure him with words, but I knew now was the time to try a different approach. I used my body to communicate what my mouth obviously could not.

We broke apart breathless, our chests both heaving as he slammed his hips against mine again and again. I felt myself clench around his manhood as the telltale tightening began in my abdomen. Peeta could feel this for he groaned in appreciation. The growling sound emanated from deep in his chest as I tried to fulfill this primal need he seemed to have. That was fine – if he needed to claim me to feel better, than I would happily submit to him.

I leaned back against the mirror, my sweaty palm cupping his strong jaw. "Peeta," I keened, arching my back. "Harder."

He grunted in approval, his dark blue gaze settling back to the place where we were joined. I felt myself grow even wetter as his pace and tenacity increased. The only sounds in the tiny bathroom were our groans and colliding bodies.

"Fuck Peeta…I…I'm coming," I managed to groan, my voice raspy and hoarse. I felt my insides clench around him as he thrust, the familiar feeling of release washing over my taught limbs and aching center. I wanted to say something else to him that would be hot and raunchy and make him understand but…no words could even leave my mouth as my orgasm crashed over me.

Peeta's eyes met mine as I came down from the high. He tossed his head to shake the sweaty tendrils of blonde hair away from his eyes and inhaled deeply. I knew what he smelled – the raw, heady scent of our sex that now positively permeated the small space we were in. My mouth fell slowly open as I leaned forward and gripped his shoulders, hooking my leg around his waist. Peeta bit his lip and gasped for breath, his hips crashing against mine again and again.

"Fuck me," I finally breathed, nodding. "Fuck me Peeta, please."

I heard him growl again in approval as he continued, his thrusts growing erratic and labored. My sensitive walls could feel him throbbing against me as his own release teetered just out of his reach.

Leaning back on one hand, I reached the other around to the back of his neck and grabbed the fine hairs there. Weaving my fingers into the damp locks, I lightly pulled and watched as his eyes flashed to mine.

"I'm yours Peeta, only yours. Fuck me," I panted.

His hips slammed into mine a final time as his cock pulsed with his release. Peeta's head lolled backwards towards the ceiling as he inhaled another deep breath.

"Oh fuck," he growled, shaking his head. He lowered his jaw to eye me with his darkened gaze. "Fuck Katniss. Fuck…that was…."

I smiled at him as his head fell forward to rest on my bare shoulder. The beads of sweat from his brow dampened my skin as he slowly came down from the high that only a hell of an orgasm could give a person. He panted against my skin before lifting his head up and placing a sloppy kiss on my lips.

"I love you."

"I love you," I answered back. "Not him."

Peeta nodded in understanding. We sat there joined for a moment, his eyes locked with mine as his caveman side of his mind finally seemed to wrap around the idea that I was his – not Gale's. I was a fierce and confident woman, that much I knew – I had no qualms about offering myself up for Peeta to claim this once. He'd done so much for me that it was all I could do to offer him this little tryst.

He slowly pulled out, rubbing his hands up and down my thighs. I heard him sigh as he reached over and grabbed a towel off the rack beside us, leaning slightly forward to wet it in the sink behind me. I watched as he gently wiped the traces of our act from between my legs before folding it over and wiping himself off.

He offered me a slightly sheepish smile before bending down to pull his pants up from around his ankles. Once his pants were secured, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me off the sink. The black dress fell back into place, all t races of what we'd just escaped to do effectively disappearing.

I smiled at him. "Are you okay?"

He sighed, nodding once. "Are we okay?"

"Of course we are," I answered. "Peeta we're one of the few things in this equation that's still okay, ya know?"

I watched a trace of a smile form on his lips as he rubbed them together and placed a hand on my hip. "I didn't mean to…I know I'm not usually so rough-"

My finger flew to his lips to silence him. "No. I needed that. We needed that. It's fine, you didn't hurt me. I'm tough and sometimes…sometimes you need to do that."

He chuckled and shook his head. I reached up, wiping some sweat off his brow and pushing his hair back into place. He'd combed it back so neatly for the ceremony, but our bathroom romp had made it go back to normal. That was okay though – after all we'd been through, we deserved it.

"Ready to go back there and face them?" he sighed.

"It's only for a few more hours," I pointed out. "The wedding is done, now all I have to do is make it through the reception. Just make it through tonight and we'll…back away for a while and let the dust settle I think."

"Grand idea. So…do I look okay to go back out there? I don't look like I just got defiled?"

I shrugged. "Personally, I'm fine with everyone knowing what we were doing in here," I answered honestly.

Peeta smirked and gave me a boyish grin. "Fine by me then. Let's go."

After checking my hair and makeup one last time, we arranged our clothes to look halfway normal and exited the bathroom. I had pulled him to a rarely used part of the house outside of Gale's study and the library, so I wasn't too worried that anyone had heard us. We looked around and shared a private little laugh as we ducked out of the room and back into the hall. We could hear the cocktail hour proceeding in the foyer, but other than that we seemed to have lucked out and gotten away with our little romp.

I gripped Peeta's hand and pulled him past the library, only jerking to a halt when my hunter's ears heard voices. I heard a groan and a sigh of exasperation before my head could whip to the side.

"What are you doing?" I asked suddenly.

Hazelle whipped around quickly, her grey eyes wide. She offered me a terse smile before stepping to the side, motioning to my mother in a wheelchair.

"Oh! Katniss! You startled me! Where did you come from?"

I gripped Peeta's hand and tried to keep myself in check. "I…we were just down the hall. What are you doing?" I asked again.

Hazelle shook her head in exasperation and shrugged. "Just giving your mother her pill before the reception. She has to take them before every meal to help her not get ill," she answered smoothly.

My eyes fell to my mother, who was slumped over in her wheelchair, her shoulders leaning against one side and her blue eyes still as vacant as ever.

"Oh," I sighed, shaking my head. "Sorry. I didn't realize she took medication before meals," I answered sheepishly. I immediately felt a pang of regret and shame wash over me. Perhaps if I visited more often I'd know more, but…my own selfish fears and needs had kept me from spending as much time with my mother as I probably should have.

Hazelle gave me a tight smile. "Its fine dear, I'm happy to do it. Cora is out celebrating, so I thought I'd help her out today. Anything for my friend here," she sighed, patting my mother's shoulder.

I watched as Hazelle brushed off her hands and positioned herself behind my mother's chair. Pushing her forward, she offered me another smile.

"Thanks," I offered meekly as she rolled her past. Peeta gripped my hand and placed a soft kiss on my cheek as we watched them go back to the foyer.

"Come on Katniss. Let's get back to the party."

So, Katniss isn't usually the type to submit and Peeta isn't the type to claim, however...I felt that they needed it right here. Geez, maybe I should write some BDSM Everlark after this one...*fans self* Sometimes I guess you just need a little bathroom romp! lol.

Anywho, part two of the wedding coming up next! So much fun to hear your thoughts and theories as we draw to a close. What did you all think of their bathroom romp? Of Prim's wedding?