Whew! Back from another hiatus! And wow, several new follows and favorites! Looks like I have the energy to submit a new chapter!
Roy will never forget November 13.
He gulped down the last bit of coffee and sat on the hood of his precious BMW in the middle of a possessed Wal-Mart parking lot, a helmet around his neck and an oxygen mask in his free hand. This is not going to end well, he told himself. This is not going to end well at all…
When he heard the sound of an approaching motorcycle roar, he crushed the coffee cup in his hand and stared at his blond replacement, who parked her motorcycle into a handicapped space and walked over with crossed arms. "Hello, Speedy," she said in a hostile voice.
Red Arrow grinded his teeth and held up the key to his BMW in one finger. "Ollie tell you that you are expected to learn to drive in my brand-new BMW that Kaldur learned English and struggled to find a job to raise the money to give this to me as a birthday gift?" he snarled.
Artemis mockingly smiled. "Relax, your car will go home the way it is now," she said reassuringly. "I know how to drive—Jade and I went to an amusement park track, the bumper cars, games at the arcade, even a toy jet when we were younger—"
"Just get in," Roy muttered. He slid into the passenger seat with Artemis right behind the wheel. She slid the key in and turned on the engine.
"Okay," Roy began, "see the rearview mirror? Even when you pull forward, you should always check behind you to make sure that nothing is approaching you. Now what do you see?"
Artemis squinted and narrowed her eyes at the rearview mirror. "Uh, the thermal blanket Wally gave you in the backseat…uh, Star City Archery Club sticker, a possessed Wal-Mart, two packages of Deer Valley water bottles in here, a row of trees, old movie theater…I think they're going to show the original Scarface…"
"Okay, I meant anything driving up forward, that might be in your way," Roy interrupted as he slid on his helmet.
"No, I'm in a parking lot for a store that closed down," Artemis said.
Roy sighed and looked down. "Now, do you know where the gas pedal and brake are?"
"Brake"—Artemis moved her foot to the left—"and gas," she pointed to the right.
"Good, good, now put your foot on the brake"—Artemis obeyed—"shift the clutch to Drive"—
"Can we turn on the water squirter-thing and then the windshield wipes?" Artemis interrupted. "How do you turn on the defroster for when it gets cold outside?"
"Later, now lightly move your foot to the gas"—
Artemis gave a gentle tap to the gas and soared through the parking lot.
"Whoa…." Artemis yelled as the car screeched and left marks on the cement, her hair flying back and her body experiencing a rush of euphoria as she soared like in a roller coaster.
"BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE!" a sick Roy yelled.
Artemis slammed against the brake and Roy's head nearly smashed against the windshield. He flung back against the seat and swallowed a mouthful of barf. "Ugh. Okay, one important rule is that you do not slam against the brakes or gas, or that will hurt the engine"—
"Oh this is awesome!" Artemis smiled.
Roy's heart was pounding so hard it hurt his chest, but he sighed and shook his head. "Okay, now you carefully press down against the gas"—
"How do you turn on the radio?" she asked. "I feel like cranking up some tunes as you teach me"—
"Artemis, please," Roy sighed. "Pay attention. Now carefully push down on the gas"—
Artemis, in her defense, did so, but then they soared around the parking lot like on a roller coaster.
Roy screamed and gripped on the sides of his seats as his eyes could not shut. "BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE!"
Artemis slammed again on the brake, and Roy managed to charge face-first into the airbag before the seatbelt pulled him back. He leaned back and took two deep breaths. "Okay. Let me push these back in before we continue…"
As he pushed against the airbags, Artemis looked out the window and saw an approaching ice cream truck, chiming tunes and advertising the latest flavors and popsicles.
"An ice cream truck!" she yelled before flying out of the parking lot.
Roy yelped and gripped onto his seatbelt. "Artemis, no! You can't even"—
He grimaced and watched as buildings flew away while Artemis darted around several cars in a rush. Several honked at her, and the blond promptly flipped them off.
"Hey! Don't stick out your middle finger!" Roy yelled as he reached for the wheel. "Oh my God, oh my God, slow down, forget the ice cream truck, we're going back…"
Artemis rolled down the window at Roy's side just as she was level with the truck driver. "Hey, ice cream man!" she roared.
"Keep your eyes on the road!" Roy screeched as he lunged forward and gripped the steering wheel. Artemis leaned over his head, and Roy's forehead moistened as he struggled to keep his car from banging into any other vehicle or off the road or over the cliff—
"Pull over!" Artemis yelled. "I'm interested in some ice cream, pull over!"
The ice cream man stared at her in disbelief before shrugging and pulling over. Artemis swerved around a DMV—she ignored a deafening honk—and parked right in front of the truck, leaving skid marks and almost banging into the steel fence separating the road from the lake.
Artemis hopped out while Roy leaned against his seat, panting and closing his eyes as his heart made his brain hurt. He shakily pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ollie.
Before the ringing even stopped, however, Artemis entered the car and closed the door, biting down on a strawberry popsicle. Her obnoxious slurps made Roy growl, and she flung the stick into the backseat.
"Sorry I didn't get you anything, did you want something?" asked Artemis as she licked her juice-stained fingers.
"I may never eat again," Roy sighed. He turned on his iPhone and scrolled down his Twitter account for anything to make him laugh. Artemis reached forward and turned on the radio, not knowing it was actually Roy's police scanner.
"Armed robbery. Route 314, corner of Cambridge and Carmella."
Roy didn't even have to look at Artemis to see the smirk on her face. She pushed in the GPS button and flew down the street, leaving behind a cloud of dust.
Roy shrieked and covered his eyes and moved his seat back while Artemis grinned and followed the arrow's directions left, straight, up a hill—Roy nearly tore a muscle in his throat as they "moved" down the hill—through two red lights, and directly behind eight police cars chasing a vehicle, their sirens hurting Roy's already aching ears. Artemis turned hard at right and nearly collided with a police car.
"Get off the curb! Get off the curb! There are people running away, get off the freaking curb!"
Artemis ignored him and sped past the cars until she was directly behind the getaway car.
"Artemis, keep to this lane, if you stay over there you'll crash directly into a car—WATCH OUT!"
Artemis darted around a UPS truck and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Roy, take control of the car, I'm coming right out for them"—
"No!" Roy yelled, but Artemis opened her door and almost jumped out when the one in the passenger seat flung out a pistol and fired twice.
Roy growled as glass shattered over his head and neck, but Artemis slammed against the gas and drove directly in front of the getaway car. "Artemis, what the hell"—
Then Roy's heart skipped several beats when he realized that Artemis was trying to get the getaway car to slow down. "Okay, keep at it, I'm going to"—
The getaway moved to the left lane, but Artemis sped to block the car again. "Keep straight, do not turn"—Roy yelled when he saw it.
He saw the train tracks and the lights—yellow lights.
"Oh my God, Artemis, there's a train coming our way"—he screamed as he saw the train approaching. He curled himself into a ball and opened his door ready to jump out and take her with him and he hoped that he would not die…
With a massive jump, the BMW skidded over the tracks and drove off just as the train soared through, preventing the getaway car from escaping, and allowing the police to take it over.
Artemis cheered and drove along the bumpy road until she drove onto a highway and managed to drive into the Queen Industries parking lot. She jumped out of the car and threw her arms in the air. "Woo-ho! I made it! I did it!"
Roy stumbled out of the car and clutched his abdomen. "Oh, God, I'm alive, I"—his face filled with bile and he vomited directly into the parking lot. As the taste of bile and coffee took over his mouth, he sat back and closed his eyes, then noticed all the gashes and scratches along the side of his BMW, his side-mirror cracked with a bullet, and that a wiper had chipped in half. Then he moved his eyes and saw a back tire slowly sinking.
"Roy, Roy!" Ollie ran out of the building and hurried to his first protégé. "Are you all right? What happened?"
"Driving lesson…gone wrong….robbery…chase it…my new car…" Roy moved his head forward and vomited twice.
Owl City music drew closer as Dinah's red convertible slowed down into the parking lot. "Oliver! I thought you were inside to bring you lunch—Roy! Are you okay?" She parked her car without even pulling into a space and ran to his side.
Artemis by then had walked behind Ollie and patted Roy's back. "Let it out, Roy, let it all out…"
"Get away from me," he spat. "I feel sick, this car is brand new…"
Dinah thrust him a Chinese takeout box. "Come inside, we'll get you cleaned up, then you can eat."
Roy swallowed and threw Artemis a dirty look. "Hope your parents left you money," he sighed, "cause I am not paying for damages!"
"Roy, Roy, calm down, I'll take care of it," Ollie cautioned, patting his back and taking off the helmet. "Come on, come on in…"
The four settled in Ollie's office for Chinese, fruit salad, and tuna with crackers. As they ate, Roy glared at Artemis munching on a spring roll. "Do you really know how to drive?" he snarled.
"I do," Artemis said. "I just wanted to piss you off."
Roy bitterly swallowed a noodle and shook his head. "Next time you want me to teach her something, Ollie, I demand payment in advance."
For horseygeek! I actually inspired the writer to write a chapter for "Arrow Roulette" and I decided to take it into my own hands!
Secret: I think it would have been nice to see the Arrow or Bat family in civilian activity, doing something together as a family.