Me: Hey shadows, Miss Oblivion J here with another chapter of Days of a Heartless. It's the last month of 2018, meaning next year KH3 is coming out and all our questions will be answered! Not to mention, a bit of the KH3 opening and final trailer has been dropped recently and god am I ready for this game to come out!
Silvia: We only have only 40 days! Let's go!
?: Ahem.
(We look over to the 13th organization member)
Roxas: Shouldn't get back on topic, Oblivion?
Me: Right. Right. Of course, sorry for rambling on. Anyways, regarding the reviews I've received in my absence, here are a few answers.
1) Ashley's Heartless form is gone. Branden didn't save her. Xehanort didn't save her. No, I'm sorry guys but Ashley is gone.
2) I haven't spoken about relationships at all, but Arc 3 has a lot of relationships whether boyxboy, girlxgirl, or boyxgirl. Canon ships in this story are Sokai and Rokushi. For those of you wondering about other ships, I'm not saying I don't like any of the other ships like RokuNami or SoRiku, but I just think these ships are more fitting for my story.
Roxas: Wait! You ship Xion and me!
Silvia: Why not! You two look adorable together! (she shows him a picture of Roxas and Xion kissing)
Roxas: It's just I felt like you'd be a RokuNami shipper. (He summons a Namine and Roxas picture, showing it to us)
Me: I ship RokuNami, but I've always wanted to write about Rokushi. So, sorry if any of you don't like this ship.
Roxas: I'm not against Rokushi, but please don't tell Namine about this. I don't need her finding out about the current ships again.
Me: Is that why you were mad at Xion the other month?
Roxas: Yes. Yes, that's half the reason why I was mad at her and the other half was because it was posted everywhere in Twilight Town.
Me: What ship was it?
Roxas: (he turns pale) You don't want to know.
Me: Okay then… sorry I asked. (clears my throat) Nevertheless, that is all my answers and I'm happy to hear you guys are ready for this arc as much as I am! So, enough talking, and let's get this chapter started! Roxas disclaimer, please!
Roxas: Disclaimer - Miss Oblivion J doesn't own anything from Kingdom Hearts by Square Enix and Disney. All she owns is her OC and plot.
Silvia: With all that said, we hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 38 - Lusus Naturae
Entry 184
(October 11)
I don't know what I remember or what I've forgotten. All I can say is that my memories are in shambles, full of several holes from my time in Monstro to the events that lead up to NOW.
I don't recall how I ended up here? Or why Branden saved me?
But, what I do know is that I need to remember what happened to me before I can finally leave this place. If I leave too soon without my complete memories, I'll be in the same predicament that happened today.
Whatever the case may be, I'm trapped here with 3 reapers, who transformed me into a human and are keeping me here until I recover. However, I don't want to stay here with these weirdos! I want to adventure around on my own again! Be free from this cell and out in the wild!
Except, until I'm stable…. I'm stuck here playing prisoner!
Entry 185
The woman with purple hair - Meredith - says I have amnesia, which is a type of memory loss where I can't recall anything from my past self as a human or the events recently.
And, she is correct about that.
I don't remember my human self or anything now. I can't even recall the events that happened today when I was speaking to Branden. Everything's a blur, a hazy mess with no answers to how I got here or how I lost my journal (which is why I've resorted to blank sheets of paper until I can find a better replacement). In a way, whatever happened to me has made my memories reset, but sooner or later my memory will come back to me… I hope.
Meanwhile, as I wait for my stability to stabilize, I've taken notice that these people I'm forced to live with aren't normal at all. I mean a mad scientist and her pet fox, holding two Heartless captives in a tiny house. Not to mention these experiments turning something non-human into a real human being! It makes me feel eerie just thinking about what Meredith's doing to me or everyone else with these experiments when she pokes and tests us like we're voodoo dolls.
I don't trust them - I can't, because if I do then I'll be a reaper as well. I don't want to be like them, because I've seen so many fall to the hands of them daily. And, to tell you the truth Pal, I'm afraid of what's happened to me and what will be the outcome of this catastrophe.
I don't want to change into a reaper, but I already look and sound like them. The way I move. How my voice sounds now being a deeper pitch than my voice as a shadow. And, my body that used to be nothing, but pure darkness has been replaced with this frail and pale body. The only things that stayed the same during my transformation were my eyes and antennas. They're the only remaining reminder that I'm a Heartless even in this new form.
Despite my changes, I'm the only one who doesn't like this form. For example, the head of the house, Meredith E. Hood (aka Merry), loves my new design and thinks I'm adorable in this form. Meanwhile, I'd rather be in my base form coded in darkness than flesh and skin. I don't know what Merry is calling cute when I am far more DEADLY and SAVAGE than anything!
The other person who likes my form is the fox named Phoenix, who has been snooping on me all day. He doesn't come next to me that much, but I could tell he was watching me as Branden and Merry performed several tests to make sure I was still stable from being in the Realm of Darkness. During that whole time, the vulpine was in the room, but was silent until the end when he spoke in a normal voice, saying "So what's your name?".
I know I've seen talking animals before, like Cheshire Cat or the White Rabbit, but by the way, Phoenix was acting I thought he was like Pluto. Boy was I wrong, because the moment he spoke for the first time, I jolted out of my seat while screaming so loud I'm pretty sure the whole universe heard me! "He spoke! How can he speak!" I yelled, before demanding to know why a fox was talking!
It was then and there that Merry explained that Phoenix had the ability to speak as a fox and change into a human form like ours. In those moments of taking in the information and looking at Phoenix, I understood that just like Branden and me, the poor red fox was an experiment as well. I felt sorry for Phoenix since he was once a normal animal until he changed into a human as well. Just like I was a normal Heartless until "something happened" that made me end up here. The same with weirdo aka Branden. We're all just her experiments to her...
Moving on to the final member of the reapers who likes my form is Branden, an ex-Heartless under Merry's control. From my first impression of him earlier or what I recall, he's very obedient to his master and even manipulative. Then, as Merry and he began to test me, the weirdo turned into someone bossy ordering me around. "Drink this." "Be quiet" that. "Stop daydreaming and focus!" That's all I heard today as I began to be poked, hit, and told to drink the grossest things that tasted like dirt!
However, the worst thing about Branden is that he used to be one of us! He used to be a Heartless, yet now he's siding with reapers. He has become tainted, brainwashed, and most importantly a traitor. Someone like him… I can't forgive for choosing to help our killers.
Once the testing was over, I told everyone my full name, which shocked Merry and Phoenix who thought I didn't recall anything. However, I told them it was the only thing I remembered since becoming a Heartless. In those moments, Merry thought it was odd that I recalled my name since Branden took many months to even recall his name. She began wondering about something and writing in her book, yet didn't say any more about it.
After our little exchange, the "master" informed me that from now on I'd be living here until my darkness was calmer. So, I have my own room sharing it with Branden for the time being. I have a place to stay, food to eat, and baggy clothes to wear for the time being. I have 7 days until I become more stable and able to handle darkness and light. I wanted to be out of here in 3 days or less, but stability takes longer and if I don't become stable in these 7 days… I'll be here for the next month or maybe a year stuck in this stupid house!
Entry 186
(October 12)
After Merry left for work today, Branden spent all day looking around the house for me but never found me. Instead, Phoenix was the only one who actually found me in the attic within the 3 hours I was "gone". Once Branden saw me again, he hugged me so tightly, because he thought I'd vanished for good! Yet, I didn't know why he was so worried, especially since I promised I wouldn't run off again. But, that didn't stop weirdo from being upset over my little disappearance act.
Yet could you blame me?
I didn't like anyone around me whatsoever and the mere thought of staying around them all day made me want to puke. So, instead of hanging with weirdo and vulpine, I ended up within the dusty attic full of spiders and webs, where I found a cozily hidden bunker with a tiny circular window at the very top, plus a blanket and pillows rested at the bottom. When I looked out the window, I could see many houses that stretched out toward the north, until I saw nothing, but rooftops. From the down below, I saw locals jogging around the block, cars zooming by, and a stray cat walking along the sidewalk. Meanwhile, in our yard, I saw a tree covered in red and orange leaves, along with rain puddles from the small storm last night.
I don't know what world I'm on, but I can tell it's lively and looked amazing! I want to go out and explore it, but Miss-No-Smiles told me not to leave this house. Maybe when I'm free I can finally explore the world before I find Sora. It would be fun...
Sorry, I'm getting a little bit off topic…
Anyways, as soon as I got adjusted to the bunker's tight space, I shut the door behind me, welcoming myself to solitude.
I had only 7 days to fill in the gaps of my memories to the danger I was in and what happened to Sora and Riku after I blasted into space from Monstro. Yet while I was trying to think of my past, I accidentally fell asleep when I was trying to recall everything! I was still drowsy from the test yesterday, so I accidentally fell asleep. However, falling asleep turned out to be in my favor since I recalled something! Not how I ended up here! But, I recalled my birth and even something that still shocks me to this moment.
My life as a shadow Heartless began in seconds, from a puddle of darkness to an actual being. Quickly, I began to roam through Realm of Darkness, finding myself in fallen worlds, traversing in many small puzzles, while I found my watching several others whether human or Heartless. Humans wandered into the realm, yet never made it out and became a Heartless instead. I remembered my fellows fighting anyone or thing to grow stronger or protect their territory.
At one point in my memories, my fellow shadows and I took on many different enemies together as a Demon Tide against a man in black clothes and a matching hat - yet we failed and instead of a quick death, we were all captured into a glass cage and taken to a giant ship - where we were met with a man in a top hat, next to a woman in a red dress and black cape. I didn't know what they were saying, but it wasn't good.
That's when my dream from yesterday, revealed itself as a memory of my fellows and me in a warehouse and the kidnapper who had defeated us before, was now racing at us, ready to obliterate us. In that brief second, we were about to be vanquished - if not for her.
Out of nowhere, a young dark-skinned girl with black and blue hair, leaped in front of us taking the blast head on and protecting us. Quickly, a loud argument about whether it was right or not killing us erupted between them, before the girl summoned a whip to her hands and the man pulled out a revolver getting ready to fight. They were about to battle until a male voice called her name. "CROSS" he called and it echoed across the whole warehouse, causing her and the man to freeze, being to stare up at the owner of the voice upon the balcony.
Then, the scene changed and I was fighting people. Children, men, women, anyone in my way and whom my commander wanted me to attack next.
Something about it felt wrong. I mean Heartless kill to eat hearts, but never a hundred people and more. Heartless knew when to stop, but while my mind told me to stop. My body kept hurting those around me and to be fair it hurt watching all those people fall by my hands. I knew I hated killing to eat, but I'd NEVER kill without a reason. I'd NEVER hurt innocent people like that! They'd done something to me! A curse? A spell? Something! Because I wouldn't do that! Right?
By the time, I had stolen the last heart of one of my victims, I was staring directly at a forest where a fire engulfed every tree, bush, plant and more. It was a horrific scene, but I just stood there like there was nothing wrong with what I was doing or watching. The world was being overrun and the mafia was dragging the world to darkness. It wasn't okay! It was tragic and made me feel horrible inside.
Even worse, the girl - Cross stood before me watching the forest fire as well. She was trembling, muttering words that I didn't understand or even hear. Her clothes were torn or charred by the flames, while her arms were covered in fresh wounds. When Cross looked back at me, tears were running down her face, as she continued to cry. But, she looked at me with a small glimmer of hope, saying, "You shouldn't be apart of the mafia any longer. Not you nor anyone else. This nightmare ends today, Nico before more lives are lost."
All of a sudden the memory changed and next, I was in a small bedroom, where Cross sat next to be telling me to leave. We made a promise to never see each other again, then I was sent away to Traverse Town.
That's how I ended up in my favorite world. I finally remembered my past life as a Heartless, however, I don't remember anything of how I ended up here with the mad scientist, vulpine, and weirdo.
My memories stopped once I woke up, but I can recall everything I dreamed and fill complete, finally knowing how I was born and the pain I caused. However, this voice in the back of my head keeps yelling for answers - What was that mafia after? What was the mafia's point in gathering Heartless? Why did Cross vow to save me?
I want answers, but I'm afraid to ask knowing that once I knew the truth I wouldn't be able to turn back.
Entry 187
(October 13)
After yesterday's incident, Branden decided to keep me at arm's reach after my check-up was done. Speaking of the check-up, I learned that my height is 4'9, however, Merry says I'm sure to grow in due time to my avenge height, so I won't be short forever! Yet everyone else around me is so tall! Branden's 6 ft. Merry is 5'8, and Phoenix is 5'10. But, I'll catch up sooner or later and be taller than everyone else!
Anyways, back on topic, Merry left earlier to get to work at the clinic, leaving me with weirdo and the vulpine again. However, Phoenix up and vanished once he ate breakfast and never came back. So, I was stuck with weirdo who was busy all over the house, cleaning the kitchen, all three of the bedrooms, the living room, and doing folding laundry.
By the toll of two o'clock, he decided to cook a pizza for lunch. That's when I noticed as Branden fixed our lunch, that he hadn't lost his abilities as a Red Nocturne. Instead, his fire magic was still intact and the thing he did the other day to get away from me was his floating powers. Red Nocturne are not from the Realm of Darkness, so they don't have as much darkness as me. However, Branden is still pure darkness and none of light. Is it because we're hybrids? Maybe so… I've noticed as well that I have no light either. The only ones who have light within them are Phoenix and Meredith, which makes me wonder even more about why our form is like this.
These thoughts I had made me ask him questions about my new form and these powers we still hold. Branden informed me that unlike other humans we have no light left inside us since we were born different. The light hurts us. Blinds us. Makes us feel weak. Meredith and Phoenix's light isn't that powerful, but a pure heart of light can harm our new form. Especially me, since I'm still unstable.
As we ate, I began to grow worried about when I could leave. I knew I had seven days, but what if it was longer? My stability was still low and I was still weak. I wasn't even strong enough to stand up this morning and had to get help from Branden to take me to the lab. I wasn't getting stable at all -
Then, it dawned on me - Branden was stable enough to go anywhere. He could leave this world, Meredith, Phoenix, everyone and be free - so why stay here? Therefore, instead of wondering about it all day like I normally do, I asked him, "Why are still here?" Once I said that phase, the weirdo didn't answer me for the longest time.
It wasn't until before dinner time, Branden told me the truth. The real reason why Branden stayed with Merry and Phoenix, is because he began to enjoy his new family and didn't know if his world was still out there. So, he stayed to help Merry in her experiments and to help her stay well. In other words, Branden was worried for Merry since she was on her own a lot and Phoenix was no help in her current state. But, he never told me what was going on with her, instead, he kept that to himself.
Which makes me wonder about Merry, but I don't want to know. It's NOT my problem. NOT my concern or responsibility to worry about a reaper who treats me like
I'm her pet! Branden can stay here playing puppet, but I'm leaving!
Entry 188
It's a quarter past midnight, and Merry just got back from her job.
How we know this is because, she came in stumbling around, knocking over stuff, and running into the walls, which woke Branden and me up immediately. Then, loud shouts began to echo through the house, which caused everyone to jump out of our bed and find out what was happening.
Once Branden and I got downstairs, along with Phoenix who'd just come out the bathroom - we crept towards the living room steadily. Branden was armed with fire in his left hand ready to attack, yet soon learned that the person wasn't an intruder, but his own master.
Switching on the light switch, we found Merry on the ground next to a broken lamp and an end table now on it's side. She was talking, but not very clear. Her eyes couldn't focus on any of us and she kept hiccuping every ten seconds. I didn't know what was going on with Merry since she'd never acted like this at all. I thought she'd just came from Wonderland and gotten sick or something, yet I was wrong entirely. During my confusion, I didn't understand anything until Branden facepalmed, saying, "She's drunk again."
When Branden said that, I was even more lost since I didn't know what drunk meant. So, I asked Phoenix what being drunk was, which caused him to burst out laughing as Branden helped Merry up and began to help her up the stairs.
Once Phoenix and I were alone, he told me that Merry had a habit of drinking too much alcohol when she became too emotional. It's a problem she's had since she was a teen, but as well why Branden decided to stay here since Phoenix was no help in her drunken state. It's then when it dawned on me that this must have been what weirdo had been talking about earlier.
Yet while Branden wanted to help, I kind of wanted to laugh. While Merry was drunk she kept calling Branden a talking lamb that would take her kingdom of flying pigs. I tried to talk to her a bit to see what else she'd say, but she told me to be quiet since I was a talking marshmallow in her murky eyes. This may be the only reason to like Merry in this state because she's less strict and way funnier!
Branden may disagree, but this one made my night!
Entry 189
(October 14)
This morning was something else.
Watching a drowsy Merry and a worrisome weirdo was funny, yet as well lost it's fun easily when the "master" accidentally fell on top of me and tried to use me as a pillow! Branden had to help her up and gave her a fresh cup of a potion to help her sleepiness and headache. Steadily, she began to turn back somber, eating breakfast and getting dressed, before heading off to work. Today, Branden accompanied her to make sure she wouldn't wander off or anything.
In that hour of not having Phoenix and Branden around, I began to recall more memories of my friend, Ashley and our adventures together. I began to wonder if she was looking for me or if she was worried about me, but couldn't think of anything once Branden came into the house, shutting the door, before creeping from the entrance hallway into the living room. Quickly, he plopped on the couch and wrapped himself in a nearby blanket, he was sound asleep without missing a beat.
I was going to wake him up to ask him about my new form but decided to go bug Phoenix instead.
Opening his bedroom, I thought I'd see a red fox like usual, instead, I found a ginger-haired man dressed in pajamas, eating ramen on his bed as he watched TV. For a few moments, I thought someone had broken into the house just to eat our food, then recalled Phoenix had a human form. This was my first time seeing his human form since he could only be human for 5 hours, while Branden and I were stuck human permanently. Phoenix looked way different as a human, but still acted the same as a fox.
Once I recovered from the realization of who the stranger was, Phoenix asked, "What's up?", which lead me to tell about Branden's exhausting. At that, he laughed saying, "Every flame has to burn out eventually!", which was his way of telling me that Branden exhausted himself by taking care of Merry and me at the same time. I asked Phoenix if I should wake him up, but he told me to let Branden sleep for the time being.
This lead to me having nothing to do. I couldn't remember any more memories with my friend and the weirdo was asleep, so that lift only one person to spend time with. For the first time, I spent the day with Phoenix watching this thing called Inuyasha, as he finished eating. But, after it went off, the vulpine asked me what I wanted to do. He let me choose to watch more anime, play video games, read, etc. In the end, I chose to play video games which brought us to playing Super Mario Bros. I ended up playing as Mario and Phoenix played as Luigi, but we each had the same goal to rescue Princess Peach.
We played for hours, yet never found the princess!
When we were so close to the end, Branden interrupted us by coming to the door and telling us that dinner was ready.
Phoenix and I hadn't realized Branden had woken up, since we were busy, however, as well we didn't care because we were having so much fun together!
(Maybe some reapers aren't that bad. I mean Phoenix isn't really 100% human, but still, he to act more friendly towards me than weirdo or the mad scientist. He actually made me feel welcome instead of treating me like a lab rat! If anything, I would say vulpine is my only friend in this joint.)
Entry 190
(October 15)
I've been here for been here for 4 days, which is about to be the 5th day in about an hour.
As of right now, everyone is sleeping and I'm still up. Not because I can't sleep or that I had a nightmare, but instead I'm kind of bored. So, I thought about writing, but I don't know what to talk about….
I guess I'll start with this -
I've been dealing with my "kidnappers" the past few days and learning more about human life, for better or worse, whether I like it or not. Simple things such as eating and sleeping were easy, but learning to use the restroom, bathing, or wear clothes was difficult at first. I mean wearing clothes every day is so hard and weird as well. I don't understand how Phoenix, Branden, or Sora can do this, because this is so torturing!
But, nevertheless, I'll put up with this charade until I'm out. From Merry's test results, my darkness levels are slowly dropping to positive standards every day. But, if I go to the Realm of Darkness again, my body might destroy me, and if that doesn't scare me enough then the thought of dying in this form means I can't come back. No human. No Heartless. I'm gone and never to come back thanks to Merry's stupid experiment, which means my shadow form is gone forever! (Geesh… I always end up in stupid crap every day. I can never have a normal life.)
To put this in the most straightforward manner, I hate everything about my new life, yet still, I'm as curious as ever. I mean I'm trapped in a house, yet I've unmasked more information and found secrets than out in the worlds.
1 - Weirdo is a fire mage. He can use his flames to burn anything or anyone, yet as well control how hot the flame burns. Most of his power is used for cooking since the stove we have is very rundown. In a way, since Branden is the only cook here, if he's sleeping then we're kind of screwed since our chef would be out like a light.
2 - Merry has been a scientist for years. She mainly focuses on living and nonliving things, learning about the heart and what living or nonliving beings are capable of. Yet her main focus on Heartless is all I can notice from open boxes within the attic, marked with her name. She's studied Heartless for so long, so it's no wonder she knows so much about my kind.
3 - Branden and Phoenix are like an old married couple. They fight all day and night, especially when Phoenix calls Branden - "Firecracker" or "Brandy". The two have a relationship of bad blood, yet I have yet to understand why.
4 - Branden gave me insight on darkness the other day. He told me that everyone can be found such as familiars like family or friends and fellow Heartless, by following their darkness. Of course, I already knew that, but never that everyone has a different smell and pattern to their darkness. This is how Branden found me so well even in the Realm of Darkness!
5 - From what Branden has told me, all Heartless aren't able to remember their human past, yet the ones who do only negative memories such as fear, sorrow, wrath, etc. since we use those emotions as a driving force to fight. Branden says my memory of my past should return soon enough, yet to be ready if I remember something tragic.
Entry 192
(October 15)
Meredith infuriates me!
She's so bossy and only wants results and a correct answer. She thinks of me just as an experiment! Not a person. Just a voodoo doll to poke and order around like a mindless puppet. She wants me to behave like a sheep! She said so today in our argument and I cannot let it go! How she treats me is uncalled for with all these demands!
It started out as a small argument but grew larger until we were screaming each other's heads off in a debate over my rights to do as I please. She told me I wasn't meant to think and just obey her! Heck no! I'd never obey a reaper who only cares about herself! Not Phoenix! Not Branden! She only cares about herself and her studies!
Once Branden came into the lab, I bolted out there, rushing up the stairs and into the bedroom where I locked the door behind me, opening it for no one. Branden tried to get me out and calm down, but I told him to leave. Next, Phoenix tried to persuade me with video games - yet I didn't want to come out of my haven where no one could harm me. On my bed, I laid there unable to run away or think straight, yelling into my pillow and soon finding myself alone just like now.
Entry 193
I stayed in the room all day, with Branden checking on me ever so often to make sure I okay. "Leave me alone!" I always yelled at him, which caused him to leave and return at a later time until he didn't come anymore.
In my chambers, I cried wanting to see my friends again, then for a brief while I did. Memories of sealing Kingdom Hearts and meeting Mare, Iris, and Joker, along with having a long talk with Ashley came back to me. While I hoped it never ended, the memories faded as soon as there was a knock at my door.
I waited ten minutes then opened the door to see a freshly baked pasta and a cup of green tea on a tray outside my door. I didn't know who left it, but I was grateful for the food.
As of right now, it's midnight and all I want to do is run away. Leave this place and go elsewhere, but how can I leave when my body is unstable and instead of being free, I'd be jeopardizing my life for nothing. But, still, I dream and hope that things will get better for me. Where I'll be on my own again… a lone wolf strayed from their pack and on their own mission. If not that find my friends, but what would they think of my new form….. Would they see me as one of their own or a traitor?
Ansem, Seeker of Darkness was like this as well, but the thing about him is that had no friends.
But, me…. What would they think that their own comrade was a human? Or a traitor to my own kind? I'm a hybrid, which might as well be a way of saying, I'm a freak to all of nature! I'm not human nor a Heartless! My heart is pure darkness, yet I act human! What sick joke this is!
In the end, what should I do, Pal?
Merry hates, Branden probably furious with me too, and Phoenix… maybe hates me as well. I feel alone…. Where is Ashley when I need her?
Entry 194
(October 16)
Another dream about him.
But, this time it's not just him I see.
The keyblade master - Sora was fighting Marluxia in the white hallway of Castle Oblivion. Briefly, I saw a girl with blond hair who looked like Kairi was talking to him, while Riku laid on the ground paralyzed. Then, the scene changes and I'm shown a girl with black hair and Roxas staring into the sunset. But, once I saw the black haired girl more as she turned toward me, I began to see her hair turned white and million flashes spells! It changed to a horrific scene of Ashley and I running away! But, then the dream stops -
I have no clue what happened in that dream, but it woke me up with a jolt and my eyes filled with tears like I had been crying. My heart ached. My mind was foggy and all I could think of was the blond haired girl, whose name I recalled in my agony as Namine.
As I'm writing this, I'm still shaking so my handwriting is everywhere and sloppy, but I had to write something! If I don't write this down, I'll forget. I already don't recall the whole memory between Ashley, Xion, and me - all I do know is that it hurt like Hell.
Entry 195
Earlier today, Meredith and Branden left out heading into town to do something. I didn't really care or think to ask what they were doing, but all I think it was an excuse to be away from me.
For the whole day, I was glued to my bedroom's bay window, watching the neighborhood residents move around from place to place. How I longed to be out there, but instead I was stuck here for another two more days.
In my boredom, I thought about leaving the room but didn't move from my spot. I was there for a long time, moping and questioning my strange fate until something clicked at my door. When I turned to see what was going on, I found that my closed door was now wide open with a sly fox standing there, with a lockpick in his left hand and a cup of steaming curry in the other hand.
Phoenix: I'm not the best cook, but I did make you some food.
He reached the cup toward me, expecting me to take it, but I didn't. Instead, I looked back at the window, hoping that he'd go away.
Me: Phoenix, leave me alone. I don't want food. I want out of this Hell!
Phoenix: Fun fact: Humans will die of starvation if they don't eat for a long time.
I yelped when he said that, which prompted me to quickly take the curry from him and gobble it down. The vulpine laughed at me for being so gullible but was happy I was eating finally. After I finished my curry, there became an uneasy silence between us, unlike the other day when we were laughing and having fun. Today, there was nothing, but silence and tense atmosphere.
Me: Now that I'm done, can you leave?
Phoenix: I'll leave, but first you need to hear what I have to say. Can I sit, please?
Once I moved my feet to let him sit, allowing him into my personal space.
Phoenix: Nico, I'm going to need you to listen and listen well, because you have to understand the situation.
Me: This "situation" doesn't involve me.
Phoenix: I wish it didn't…. I wish none of this involved any of us, but it does and it will because ever since the stars began to disappear how it is in the present day, everything has become connected. Everything we touch and everyone we meet is connected to one another. That includes you and me as well as everyone else in this world and countless others.
Me: What are you saying? That I'm responsible for something to do with Merry.
Phoenix: No, but you ARE adding to her stress lately.
Me: It's not my fault.
Phoenix: YET - it's not your fault yet. However, you need to know that Meredith is an alcoholic. She drinks a lot and ends up like what happened the other night, however, while many can see the outcome as funny or unwise, they often overlook the reason for her behavior. Last Friday, I have no idea what was going through her mind, so I can't tell ya why she stayed out late drinking after work. But, what I will tell YOU, is that Meredith is annoyed by your behavior lately. I know ya like to have your freedom and are used to walking your own path, but remember that Meredith brought you into your new life and can just as easily take ya out. I don't mean to scare you or make you afraid of her but keep in mind, Meredith is a busy woman. She needs us in order, whether it's cleaning the house or following her command. So, she doesn't drink herself mad or worse...
Me: So, you want me to be a stupid marionette while she plays puppeteer! Screw that!
Phoenix: I'm not saying that, ya little rascal!
He ruffled my hair when he said that and seemed not all anger at my outburst. Instead, he just wiped it off like I was joking around.
Phoenix: All I need you to do is obey her most times like in the Lab. It's important to obey the commands given while in the lab and if she wants to know something. I mean you could follow all the commands given like Firecracker if you'd like, but if you don't want to be a mindless follower, then stick to what I told you.
Me: I have a question…. Phoenix, why are you helping me?
Phoenix: That's a good question, especially since you don't even trust me. I guess you could say I'm like the myths say, "A guide to your fate". And, as your guide I want you to live and be happy in the end. But, that's just hogwash the ancients before our generation said decades ago. The real reason why I'm helping you out is because we're friends. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours (figuratively of course). In order to survive in this universe, you need friends even foes to help you from time to time, and a reason to keep going forward. Yet in the end, it's just as that old fart, Master Yen Sid says, "May your heart be your guide and key." If you follow it, maybe one day it'll lead you to everyone you've lost or maybe people you've never thought to meet.
After that, Phoenix left the room, closing the door behind him.
In my slump, I tried to take in and consider what he had told me. There were things I wanted to accept and others not so much, yet Phoenix was right. In this world of kill or be killed, I need new allies not more enemies.
Entry 196
(October 17)
Early this morning, I came down the stairs hoping to sneak an apple or something from the kitchen to satisfy my starving stomach. I hadn't eaten last night which bothered me all night long, yet I refused to leave the room until my stomach was practically trying to murder me for not eating anything.
Heading toward the kitchen, I passed by the living room arch, yet instead of the room being vacant, I found Branden reading a book in the dark, within his blanket. At first, I thought he had gotten up and came down here but soon realized that he must have been sleeping down here for the past couple of days since the day when I locked myself in our room. Of course, Branden couldn't sleep in Phoenix's room, because the two can't stand the other. Nor could he stay with Merry since she likes her privacy, so I guess in the end Branden resorted to sleeping on the couch.
Not expecting to see him, I quickly realized that I had to tiptoe to the kitchen if I wanted anything to eat. I thought I could just creep onward on my merry way, but weirdo saw me and nearly shot a fireball at me before noticing that it was just me. Once Branden saw me, he practically jumped out of his covers and rushed over giving me a tight hug. For a moment, I thought Branden was going to cry, once I felt his aura with the help of my powers, but he didn't. Instead, Branden hit my hand, telling me not to fight with the master again and told me that I needed to respect everyone in order to have others respect me as well.
While I didn't want to be hugged and lectured, I knew deep down that Branden was just trying to help and keep me safe. We were both Heartless/Hybrids, the only of our kind, which meant we needed to help each other I guess. I still don't trust him, maybe I never will - yet if anything Branden is my alley and Phoenix is my alley too. My only enemy is Merry...
Earlier, I helped fix breakfast with Branden, since I was hungry and wanted to learn how to cook if he was too busy. So, the first thing he taught me how to make were scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes. They came out great, but what I really wanted to learn to cook was bacon. Sadly, Branden didn't allow me to try cooking any, because he thought I'd burn it all up, so he cooked bacon with his flames instead. By the time the sun was rising higher from the horizon, we were done with cooking and began to chow down. It was silent for a while until Merry came in yawning and smelling the aroma of fresh food. She grabbed a plate, made herself a cup of coffee, and sat at the table with us, talking to Branden from time to time, never talking to me.
It was funny really, I mean Merry didn't say a word nor look at me, pinned on her newspaper and writing in her journal. From her emotional state, she was still pissed off about my outburst, yet I didn't care or want to pick a fight. Remembering Phoenix's words from yesterday, I knew that I had a choice - something not many Heartless had and one thing I didn't want to forsake.
My choice is to leave Merry alone and never speak to her. She clearly doesn't like me and I don't like her. Once I'm stable, I'll leave this crappy prison and fly away never to see her again!
After Merry finished her breakfast, she left for work.
…..
Throughout the day, Branden has been taking care of me like always, while Phoenix sleeps on the couch. Branden and I were supposed to be cleaning the house, but instead played a game of chess to waste the hours. I lost three rounds in a row, but on the last round won, prompting me to cheer and prance around in my victory.
Today, Branden and I finally had a real genuine moment without him hovering over me or trying to control me. While we played chess, Branden and I talked about cooking and even my amnesia, which made me ask Branden if he remembered his human life before he was a Heartless. I was hoping for a story or something, but Branden only told me it was personal and he didn't want to talk about it. I press him on the topic, yet I only got scolded for it.
Instead, I asked him about his Heartless life before and after Merry. It turns out he used to be just like me roaming around and destroying worlds, but before he was killed by a keyblade wielder, Merry saved him, which gave him a second chance at life. Branden is loyal to his "master" because he owes him his life for saving him. I guess I'd be forever in Merry's debt to if she saved me, but Branden was the one who saved me from the attack. Not her. But, still Branden would do anything to repay her and I guess in a way, maybe I need to repay him for saving me back then as well.
Entry 197
(October 18)
I've recalled every one of my memories, except the moment that leads to my situation. Everything stops at Neverland when I made up with Captain Pearl, but after that nothing.
Maybe once I recall that last pieces of memory I'll finally understand how I ended up here. Where Ashley and my friends are?
But one thing's for sure, the witch named Namine is doing something with my memory. I don't know why she's messing with them, but I have a hunch that she may be the reason I'm having trouble recalling everything. Including my memories of Sora, I remember his name, things he did in the past, but I can't remember what he looks like. Yet I do remember that we made a promise to be friends one day, and with that promise, I remember him even if my memories are hazy of him.
Entry 198
Today, the sky blessed us with a morning shower until late noon.
Since the house was already clean and Merry was out of the house enjoying her day off, Branden and I found ourselves not doing much. I was in the den listening to music, as Phoenix (in fox form) slept next to me on the couch. By then, Branden had decided to read in the study.
We had a lazy afternoon today, but after the weekends and days of adjusting to each other, we were all to ourselves and relaxing in our own ways. Mine was listening to music, trying to find my next course of action. My days of staying here were up… right? I had no reason to stay here nor a reason to leave either. In a way, I was confused about how I even got here…. Nothing is making sense, but maybe it'll come back to me once I leave this house.
Entry 199
I did this -
I'm the reason she isn't here.
I'm the reason we were attacked!
I did this.
I got her killed! If it wasn't for my damn curiosity, Ashley would be here with me now in this wracked up hell together! But, I did this by trying to follow after the red fox who I now know is Phoenix. It was my own damn fault that this mess to happen to us.
Xion killed her! She really killed her!
Ashley is gone…. Her darkness is gone….
But, I'm here…
This wasn't what I wanted in the end! I never wanted this to happen! But, it did….
And, now it's all my fault!
But she couldn't have died. She has to be out there somewhere… she can't be gone. She can't.
= Chapter End =
Me: Nico's memories have returned of both Jade Mafia and Ashley, yet neither are very happy. First, Nico is remembering his life in Jade Mafia and why his savior aka Cross saved him in the first place. Nico is having a hard time painting his kind or self as murders, yet as well is scared deep down about what he's done. In a way, you could say Mare and Nico have more in common at the moment since they both have wounds inflicted by Jade Mafia.
Second, Nico is hurting after learning of Ashley's death as well. He's devastated by what's happened and is having a hard time accepting the truth that his best friend is gone.
Silvia: Aww… poor Nico. He's going through so much right now. Not to mention this is only the beginning.
Roxas: Well no life has only good memories. We all have bad memories and bad experiences, but that's what makes us stronger and paints a new view of our lives.
Silvia: Very well said.
Roxas: Just speaking from experience… I'm sure Nico will find his light again, but right now he just needs time to grieve. He'll be back on his feet sooner or later, I'm sure.
Silvia: (nods) Right!
Me: So, a little background on this chapter's title and history. The title - Lusus Naturae is Latin for "Freak of Nature" which is kinda mean to say to anyone but fits this chapter's theme of how Nico sees his new form. He's a hybrid, not viewed as a human or a Heartless. In a way, the reason he hates his new form is because he doesn't feel normal at all and feels different from everyone around him.
Fun fact about this chapter, Meredith, and Branden have actually been planned for the story since the beginning, along with one more of my OC. They're pretty important to the story, but that's all I'll say on that.
Silvia: Aww… no hints to what their importance is?
Me: I could, but that would count as spoilers.
Roxas: Fair enough.
Me: The last thing I wanted to do is talk a little bit more in-depth about Nico and Branden's new form. Hybrids are human/Heartless in one, they're pure of darkness and have their own heart. The darkness left in their beings after turning human, lets them have powers from their previous form, along with little features like antennae, wings, claws, and more importantly yellow eyes.
Silvia: Yellow eyes? But, don't yellow eyes mean they're half-Xehanort?
Me: Yes, yellow eyes do mean you're a part of Xehanort, but Branden and Nico aren't half-Xehanort I assure you. For Nico and Branden, yellow eyes are just a side effect from Meredith's experiment. It's also a constant reminder that they're not whom they used to be.
Silvia: (points to Roxas) Then, why does he have yellow eyes?
(I turn to Roxas seeing that his eyes were no longer blue, but instead a yellow)
Me: Roxas! No!
Roxas: I'm sorry, Oblivion. But, you're too late.
Me: Oh, come on. Are all my favorite characters turning into vessels? First, Aqua, the Luxord, now you! What's next my OC turns into a vessel as well!
Silvia: What do you mean? (She turns to me, opening her eyelids to reveal yellow eyes as well) I'm already half-Xehanort!
Me: Ah!
(I jump out of my chair, rushing out of my office. "Everyone is being norted!," I yelled. Meanwhile, in the office, Silvia and Roxas fist bump at their accomplishment. Both take the yellow contacts out their eyes, laughing up a storm.)
Roxas: We got her.
Silvia: We sure did.
(Roxas faces the camera, giving a small grin)
Roxas: Anyways, shadows it's about time we end this chapter and we hope you enjoyed. Be sure to review, because we'd love to hear your feedback, follow, share it with a friend, and we'll see you guys later!