A/N SM owns the characters. Anything that goes wrong with them in here, though, is my fault.
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Chapter 37
Jasper was almost jealous of the nearly straight path Carlisle took to Bella. Again, he rarely stopped to locate a trail, although Jasper himself had no problems picking up her scent. But faster than Jasper would have been able to lead them, Carlisle brought them up short in front of a tumbled down shed about a mile outside the village, part of a long-gone farmstead. There was no door on the shed, and another dog carcass lay in front of the opening.
Jasper shook his head. Emmett would never let her forget this...assuming that they ever made it to the point where they could 'look back on this and laugh'.
God, he hoped Emmett would have the chance to mock her. He'd give almost anything for them to be able to reach that point. He hoped Emmett would have an eternity to mock her about dogs, and biting, and anything else he could come up with.
"Bella?" Carlisle asked quietly, stepping toward the shed's opening.
A growl came from the dark within.
Carlisle pushed his hood back, safe now in the shadows of the forest. "I think this is where you come in," he told Jasper. "She'll hopefully respond better to you getting close to her."
Jasper nodded and removed his cloak, letting it fall to the ground. It would only frighten her further, he thought, seeing a vampire approach who was wearing a cloak - even if she recognized him. He ducked his head and entered the shed.
Bella was crouched, naked and dirty, in the corner of the empty shed. "Isabella," he whispered. "It's Jasper."
Bella looked up at him. Golden eyes shone in the dark, replacing the pitch black of earlier. Unlike the girl in the bathroom not even an hour before, this Bella recognized him and knew exactly who he was. Jasper relaxed, thankful for small miracles.
"Jasper?" she whispered. To his surprise, her shield dropped a little bit. Fear, shame, and embarrassment poured over him.
"Yeah, baby, it's me. Will you come out?"
"No."
Okay... "Bella, come on, baby. You don't want to stay in here." Jasper looked around the ruined building. "It's dirty. And it stinks. I think they kept goats in here. Come on, let's go back to the castle and get you cleaned up."
"I can't," she whispered.
"Why not?"
"I'm naked, and the sun's out."
Jasper didn't bother pointed out that both had been true when she'd arrived at the shed a few minutes earlier. "Well, then, luck is on your side because I happen to have brought you your very own Dracula cape, complete with hood. You come on out now, and we'll get it on you, and then we'll go back."
"I don't...they're not going to want me to come back. I bit them, Jasper. I bit Esme...I bit my family...my mother...I bit Rose, too, but..."
"Rose deserved it," Jasper said flatly, cutting her off. "In fact, I may just bite her when we get back, just for good measure."
"Esme didn't deserve it," Bella said softly, her voice full of misery. "Carlisle will never forgive me."
"Carlisle is standing right outside, Bella. He already forgave you."
Bella whimpered, more fear coming from her. Jasper wondered where Brave Bella had gone, and once again he wanted to ask her how she thought she was going to take on the Volturi if she couldn't even face her father. He hated the thought that they'd just have to hope she was having a good day when they pulled into town. That thought led him to the realization that he had no intention of following Carlisle's order that they all stay together. He'd have to put that realization aside until later, though, and focus on the task at hand.
"Bella..." Jasper paused a moment, trying to think how he could word what he wanted to say.
"Bella," Carlisle said from outside, his voice firm. "Enough of this foolishness. You need to come out. Now. Put the robe on, come out, and come home."
Jasper turned to glare at the doorway. This wasn't the way to do things. That would only make Bella more stubborn, talking to her like that...
"Alright," Bella whispered. "Can you get me the robe?" she asked Jasper. Her shield came down even further, and Jasper could feel her reluctance.
"Jasper, come get the robe for Bella," Carlisle said, clearly having no intention of joining them in the shed.
Coward, Jasper thought as he backed slowly out of the shed before turning to look at Carlisle.
Carlisle held the robe out to him, eyebrows raised, waiting for Jasper to say something. Jasper decided that, all things considered, he really had nothing to say. He took the robe and re-entered the shed, crossing slowly to where Bella was still crouched, cautious in case she became unglued again. He didn't trust Carlisle's judgment entirely – after all, the man hadn't spent the last three months with Bella, HE had.
"I'm scared," Bella whimpered. Jasper dropped the robe and crouched down next to her. He pulled her onto his lap, and she came willingly, allowing him to hold her tight.
"I know, baby. I'm scared, too. We're all scared."
"I scared you...and them."
"Well, yes, you did scare them - among other things," Jasper said with a little chuckle, able to relax now that he was holding Bella in his arms. "You were, from all accounts, pretty scary."
"I don't want to go back. How can they want me back?" she moaned, hiding her face in his shoulder.
"Isabella...we have to go back. We can't live in a goat shed. And besides..." Jasper had a sudden thought – and it couldn't hurt to try it. "Carlisle says you have to," he reminded her. "He's waiting for us, just outside."
Bingo.
Bella sighed. "Where's the robe?"
Jasper helped her put the robe on, and then led her outside, keeping a tight grip on her hand while they exited the shed. Whether it was to keep her from bolting again or to comfort her – and himself – with the contact, he didn't know or care. They walked over to where Carlisle was waiting. Bella kept her eyes on the ground - as a sign of submissiveness or simple embarrassment, Jasper wasn't sure. The shield had gone back up as soon as they'd stepped out of the shed.
Carlisle looked her over from where he stood but did not approach any closer. He glanced at Jasper, curiosity radiating from him. Jasper assumed he was wondering if Bella was alright, and Jasper nodded slightly. Carlisle pulled out a phone from under his robe and dialed it, turning his back on them while he spoke rapidly into it. Jasper could hear Esme on the other end, but she spoke so softly he couldn't make out what she was saying.
"Yes, we've got her," Carlisle said quietly. "I think we'll stay out here until nightfall – there's no way to get back without being seen at this point, and she made quite a trail through the village." He paused while Esme spoke. "No, nobody was killed. But still...I'm not sure how happy Stefan and Vladimir will be. Yes, if you could talk to them that would be wonderful. Is everything alright there? And you?" Concern flooded his voice and his emotions now. "No, she looks fine. I'm sure she'll be fine. We'll just wait here. Everything will be fine, I promise."
Jasper wondered why Carlisle would make promises he couldn't keep, even if it was just reassuring words for his mate. Now seemed to be the time for truth, no matter how painful. It was advice, Jasper realized, that he would do well to listen to with regards to Bella. He needed to talk to her – alone - as soon as possible, and share everything he'd learned from Carlisle about what exactly was pulling her to Volterra - and the likelihood of her being able to sever it...
Carlisle hung up the phone and turned back to them. "Shall we find somewhere a little better-smelling to wait for sundown?" he asked pleasantly, as if the last hour or so had never happened. He turned and walked slowly into the woods, clearly expecting them to follow him. A few hundred yards away, he seated himself on a fallen tree and waited for them to approach.
"Bella, would you mind talking to me for a bit?" Carlisle asked gently.
Jasper felt Bella tense up next to him. "No...that would be fine..." she said hesitantly.
Jasper pulled her into his side even more tightly. Carlisle glanced at him.
"Jasper can stay if it makes you more comfortable," he said.
"Yes, please."
"Come. Sit by me, daughter."
Bella moved forward hesitantly, seating herself on the log but leaving a good distance between herself and Carlisle. Jasper sat next to her, fighting the urge to place himself between her and Carlisle. They sat there in silence - Carlisle relaxing even more, while Bella became increasingly tense in the growing silence. With her shield up, Jasper had only her body language to go by, and he had no way to try to help her.
To Jasper's surprise, though, about the time he was sure she would snap and either attack one of them or take off running again, Bella slumped against him, dropping her shield again.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
No magical parenting skill, my ass, Jasper thought.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Bella," Carlisle said.
Bella looked up now, finally making eye contact with Carlisle. "I don't understand...I attacked your mate...I bit her. I bit Esme..." Guilt was rolling off her in waves. "I don't have any control. I'm going to be a danger to you all if I stay with you..."
Carlisle sighed. "Bella, I can see that we need to clear something up before we can discuss more important, pressing matters." He stood up to remove his robe, carefully folding it and placing it on the log. His gloves and jacket followed, and then his sweater and shirt. Bella stared at him in confusion, and Jasper was also wondering what the hell he was doing by stripping down here in the middle of the forest.
He stepped closer to them and Bella tensed, but just as quickly she relaxed again. "Look," Carlisle said, pointing to two scars on his right forearm, then one on his upper arm, and then another one on his shoulder. "You are not the first family member to have taken a snap at another family member in the throes of a newborn rage."
Her eyes widened as she took the scars in before finally looking up to meet Carlisle's steady gaze. Jasper himself was shocked. He'd seen the scars before, of course, but he'd never asked about them. Carlisle was a very old vampire, and none of them made it to an advanced age without coming into some kind of conflict with others of their kind. It had never occurred to him that it could have been one of his siblings – or worse, Esme – who had inflicted the bite marks.
Jasper ran over the choices in his head. "Edward?" he finally asked. Somehow the thought of Edward biting Carlisle amused him. The thought of Edward biting ANYBODY amused him. Then he pictured Edward's last moments, and was no longer amused. Beside him, Bella whimpered.
Carlisle shook his head, immediately saddened by thoughts of his first son. "No, Edward never bit me. He was more confused than the others when he awoke because of his gift. But because of his gift, he was also able to realize quicker what had happened to him and come to terms with it - at least to the point where he would not attack me. And Esme, well, we knew each other before the change. We'd had a connection, of sorts, and I think that helped when she awoke. And, of course, Edward was there, able to anticipate her moves – most of the time. The one on my shoulder is from her." Carlisle glanced at Jasper, amusement tingeing his emotions.
"Emmett?" Bella asked. Of course the big hulk of a vampire would be her prime suspect. Jasper disagreed with her, though, knowing Emmett's basic nature as well as he did.
"From the moment Emmett awoke, he had only eyes - and thoughts - for Rose," Carlisle said. "The easiest newborn of any I sired - even easier than you, Bella."
That left... "Rose," Jasper said, his voice hardening.
"Yes, Rose," Carlisle's voice was still soft. "Rose - the unhappiest of all my children. The least forgiving. The one who hated – and hates – what happened to her the most. Rose... Esme and I both sport scars from Rose - a fact of which I am sure Esme has reminded her by now. We don't talk about this, you understand? Just as we will never talk about what occurred with you, Bella. There is no need for it – young vampires have little control - we all know this. But I thought it might help matters if you were to know this, Bella. It comes with the territory. Humans have their troubles with raising offspring, and vampires have their own set of issues."
Jasper felt some of the guilt flow away from Bella. There was some still there, but not nearly as much. The fear and embarrassment levels had also dropped.
Carlisle quickly dressed before speaking again. "Now that that is out of the way, Bella, I believe that it is me who owes you an apology."
"I don't understand," Bella said. "You have done nothing, Carlisle. You don't owe me anything."
"Because of me, Bella, you lost your mate and I lost my son," Carlisle said gently.
"Oh, no, Carlisle." Her voice caught, almost as if she were really choking up. "Surely you don't... You can't believe I think that... I never thought that - not for an instant. Never, ever."
"No matter, Bella. It was my foolishness - my blindness - trusting you and Edward to Aro. It was my stupidity for thinking - even for an instant - that there was nothing more behind his invite than a desire to view for himself, first hand, the result of your turning."
Bella continued to be confused. "But it wasn't Aro who killed Edward."
Carlisle looked at her closely. "Nonetheless, Bella, you DO know the Volturi were behind it, regardless of who did the actual killing." She slowly nodded her head. "And the Volturi ARE Aro, Caius, and Marcus. We have all paid dearly for my naiveté - my desire to think the best of people. And so, I apologize, even though nothing I say or do can ever change what has happened to you, or make it better."
"It's alright, Carlisle," she whispered. "I don't blame you."
"Ah, Bella, you are as kind as ever. I have dearly missed that, my child."
Silence descended again, but it was a comfortable silence this time. Jasper could feel that both Bella and Carlisle were relaxed now, and all three of them sat in stillness that only a vampire could achieve as the sun crossed its zenith and headed into the afternoon. Nobody seemed to feel the need to speak now, and it wasn't until the light was waning into the early twilight of winter that Carlisle finally spoke again.
"There is still much we need to discuss, Bella, about what is going on."
"Do we have to, right now?" Bella asked reluctantly.
Carlisle looked at her thoughtfully. "No," he finally said. "Not right now. But soon."
She nodded. "Alright, yes, I understand. Thank you...thank you for letting me wait a bit."
"Not too long," he warned.
"No, not long. I just, I want to..."
"Recover," he said, smiling. "It's been a long day."
"Yes," she whispered.
Again they sat in silence until full darkness fell. Carlisle finally stood up, indicating that they should join him. "I think we can return now. I'm sure the streets will be empty this evening, and we can make our way back unobserved."
Jasper snorted. He highly doubted they'd be unobserved, even if the streets were empty.
Bella stared at them both, clearly reluctant at the thought of returning.
Carlisle looked at her for a moment, and then at Jasper. "Bella," he said, sighing, "I assure you that nobody is going to think any less of you for what happened earlier." He held up a hand to silence her when she started to protest. "But be that as it may, would you feel more comfortable in other accommodations for a little while?"
She nodded quickly, clearly thankful for the offer.
"I'm sure you and Jasper could stay in the tower for a day or two. Stefan and Vladimir could hardly object to that."
Jasper disagreed. He thought it would be better to just take a deep breath and join the family in the suite, but when he opened his mouth to say as much, Carlisle looked at him meaningfully and shook his head.
Alright, clearly Carlisle wanted them to spend some alone time together. Jasper was puzzled for a moment, and then realization dawned. Carlisle wanted Jasper to tell Bella everything.
Jasper sighed. He now understood the human phrase 'getting thrown under the bus'. Well, Carlisle probably thought that Bella would take it better coming from Jasper than she would hearing it from him. And he was probably right. But he would be very, very wrong about what, exactly, Jasper intended to tell her.
Jasper nodded. "The tower. Sounds lovely."