A/N: So this is it, lovely readers! The moment has finally arrived. The sun has set. The fat lady has sung. The... OK, OK, you get it. We've reached the end of our ficlet series ;) What started out as a writing opportunity for us both at the beginning of last year, to stretch our creative writing muscles and enter into the land of fanfic, turned into... well, simply put one of the best experiences of our lives. Thank you for taking time out of your lives and sharing the journey with us; embracing our ideas and supporting us as we revisited Season Three. We can only hope we returned the favor by making you smile and maybe even introducing you to some new songs along the way. Hopefully you've enjoyed the ride just as much as we have taking you there. We couldn't have done it without you. Well... maybe we could have, but it wouldn't have been nearly the same ;) LOL No, seriously, thank you all for sticking with us till the very end and being patient for this final ficlet. We hope to be back soon with a fresh story (this time a non-canon multiparter) but no promises as to when that will be. But until then, we plan to keep you entertained with various holiday fics throughout the year. But enough of that... back to the ficlet. Here's our take on the missing scenes for the final epi of S3 and how they got to that dock, making us all believe in the beauty of True Love and that it really does win in the end. So, for the last time, we give you From One Harbor To Another...
*~* Safe Harbor *~*
- Monday's child -
Halfway Gone by Lifehouse
You were always hard to hold
So letting go ain't easy
I'm hanging on but growing cold
While my mind is leaving
Talk, talk is cheap
Give me a word you can keep
Cause you're halfway gone and I'm on way
And I'm feeling, feelin feelin this way
Cause I'm halfway in but don't take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone
I'm halfway gone...I'm halfway gone...
You got one foot out the door
And choking on the other
Always think something more
Is just around the corner
Talk, talk is cheap
Give me a word you can keep (you can keep)
Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on way
And I'm feeling, feelin feelin this way
Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone
If you want me out, then I'm on my way
And I'm feelin, feelin feelin this way
Cause you're halfway in, but don't take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohoww wohoww)
I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohoww wohoww)
Now I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone
Don't take too long
Don't take too long
Cause I'm on my way
If you take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on way
And I'm feeling, feelin I'm feelin this way
Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone
If you want me out, then I'm on my way
And I'm feelin , feelin feelin this way
Cause you're halfway in, but don't take too long
Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohoww wohoww)
Cause I'm halfway gone, and I'm halfway gone (wohoww wohoww)
Cause I'm halfway gone, yeah I'm halfway gone
Warmth seeped into her fingers through the ceramic mug of steaming coffee while Joey stared blankly at the morning mist rising off the creek. Facing another day of finals, she figured she'd need every milligram of the caffeine she could ingest to stay awake during the tests, let alone get any of her brain cells to fully function.
She had not had a good night's sleep in weeks.
Night after night since the Alternative Prom, she had tossed and turned while wisps of dreams floated through her subconscious. Though Dawson in a sombrero had not made another appearance, many images were no less odd or fantastical.
Pacey with a black eye patch as a pirate in a tux… the True Love in pieces on a rocky shore… Andie as a lavender mermaid singing from a rocky outcrop surrounded by the sea…
Often in her visions she, Dawson and Pacey were separated by vast expanses of the ocean unable to reach or even hear each other. Joey struggled through the hip deep water desperately trying to reach them but made no headway. No matter how loudly she screamed or wildly she gestured both Pacey and Dawson stood mute, often with their backs turned toward her.
Two things were pervasive constants - the black butterflies and the fleeting moments spent in Pacey's arms. It didn't take a 4.0 average to figure out that she missed the warmth and closeness of their embraces; still she spent hours trying to dissect the meaning of those velvety lepidopteranswhile ostensibly studying for finals.
All to no avail.
Hadn't she read somewhere that black denoted death? But death of what?
Or whom? (Her stomach clenched around what felt like a boulder. She couldn't even go there.)
Death of a budding romance?
Death of lifelong friendship? Or two? Or three?
Or could it signify something more hopeful? The old cliché of where one door closes, another opens?
Her head hurt just thinking about it. She was too tired to give it a lot of thought this morning anyway; the only thing that urgently needed her attention was Mr. Sanders' trig test. With a quick glance at the clock she guzzled the rest of her coffee and got a move on.
With a yawn, Pacey stretched and scratched at the hair on his belly, wondering if there was really any point to taking his trig final. After all, his chances of passing hovered somewhere between slim and none, despite Joey's long-suffering, painstaking efforts to tutor him. Currently, and not surprisingly, he found that little about Capeside High, especially its academics, held his attention.
The sea was calling him.
His father was clear though; Pacey had to finish the year out before he could set sail.
That was one conversation he was glad to have behind him. He had briefly toyed with the idea of scooting out of town on the sly but the ever meddlesome Dougly Do-right effectively blew that plan right outta the water – so to speak. Imagine his surprise to find the elder Witter on the dock one day last week casting a critical eye over the only girl in his life Pacey could count on at the moment. Since the Witter patriarch hadn't even bothered to come to her christening, Pacey couldn't imagine what he was doing there.
Determined to avoid antagonizing him right off the bat, Pacey put aside the hose he was about to use to wash down the boat and asked him pleasantly, "Hey, Pop! What brings you by?"
Squinting past his son, he ignored the question. "Is she seaworthy?"
Pacey shrugged, his eye line tracking his father's to rest on the bobbing boat. "I've had 'er out a few times with no problems at all. Came this close," he held up his thumb and finger, "to winning The Regatta this year."
John scoffed at his youngest and got right to the point. "So, she's never even been out of the bay and you want to sail her all the way to Florida?"
Murderous thoughts of fratricide skittered around the edges of Pacey's attitude as he tried to keep his demeanor in check. "She's solid. I've been workin' on her over at Mike Hannigan's yard and he's been double-checking me. Even Bud MacGregor took a look under the hatch when he towed her over here."
"I'd like to take a look myself."
It was the closest he was ever gonna get to his dad asking permission to come aboard so he stepped back and John helped himself to the grand tour after Pacey's attempt to guide him was discouraged with a withering look.
He now knew that this little impromptu visit was going to determine his summer plans. Once his father had finished a detailed inspection of the engine, he joined Pacey against the railing and gazed out across the bay, his face betraying nothing.
"The ocean's a lot different than this bay, son."
Pacey simply nodded; the familiar excitement of sailing welled up in his chest but he suppressed his smile.
"Chart a course yet?"
"Yep." Almost without conscious thought, Pacey had begun to match his father's minimalist conversational style.
"What about money?"
Pursing his lips and rolling them in a circle, he replied in an even tone, "I have some savings. Figured I'd pick up some odd jobs along the way."
"And school?"
"We're done end of next week."
John's eyes finally flicked toward the boy at his side. Pausing between each sentence, he calmly instructed, "Finish school before you leave. Get back before it starts in the Fall. Stay close to shore. Call home once a week." Then he added in a rush, "I don't want your mother to worry." And, with that, he pushed away from the railing and left without another word.
It wasn't until he disappeared up the dock toward the road that Pacey heaved a sigh of relief.
Of course, Pops didn't say he had to pass – just that he had to finish up his classes. With a sly smirk, Pacey hoped he would be long gone before grades came out.
Grabbing a number two pencil from the perfectly sharpened bouquet arranged in a holder on Doug's desk, he set out to obey at least the letter of the law.
- Tuesday's child -
All I Need by Within Temptation
I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh why don't I ever learn?
I've lost all my trust,
though I've surely tried to turn it around
Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now, don't let it close
I'm here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
from turning it around
Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place
I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don't tear me down
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place
Watching in the rearview mirror as Doug's police car drove away, Joey snatched the seatbelt roughly and floored the gas pedal.
Her thoughts whirled, gradually spiking to anger…
He's leaving? He's frigging leaving?
Without telling me?
That's just like him. He's so… how can he… he'd just… and what about…?
Urgh!
Leaving, huh? Well, we'll see about that…
Throwing the candy bar wrapper into the brown paper bag, Pacey continued to stare moodily at the expanse of bricks.
His jaw clenched as his thoughts spiraled into irritation…
I'm giving up? I'm giving up?
Who does she think she's talkin' to? Hello, pot?
That's just like her. She's so… how can she…
Goddamn it!
Giving up, huh? I hate it when she has a point...
- Wednesday's child -
Terrified by Katherine McPhee ft. Levi Zachary
You by the light is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side
You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time in my only life
This could be good, it's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing you're holding back
I could be all that you needed if you let me try
You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time in my only
I only said it 'cause I mean it, I only mean 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you
You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time in my only life
Walking home after the rehearsal dinner, Joey's perpetually twisted gut was somewhat eased by her confession to Dawson. It had taken every bit of resolve she had to admit that, if it wasn't for his ultimatum, she might have chosen differently.
Not that it changed anything.
Pacey was still leaving.
Dawson was still clutching at her.
Joey was still letting him.
She meant what she said though - she couldn't imagine her life without Dawson or his parents. The list of loved ones in her life was so short and so precious to her that she couldn't afford to just throw even one of them away.
Except for Pacey. She scowled at that tiny voice of indictment in her head as she pushed through the doorway into Molly's Market.
But as much as she'd like the chance to continue to explore the budding relationship with Pacey, she also knew that he wouldn't hold a grudge; that he wouldn't refuse to be her friend or force her to give up Dawson. He'd forgive her for hurting him.
In a word, she'd still have him in her life.
Maybe not in the way they both had hoped but…
Wandering toward the coolers for milk, she wondered distractedly if it was too late to check out his going away party. Not that she'd actually been invited, although the gravitational pull to go track him down anyway seemed to indicate a change in her true north. When Dawson had mentioned that she skip the rehearsal dinner, she'd reacted the only way she knew was acceptable to him. Plus, the Leery's were counting on her, she couldn't let them down.
No matter the cost to herself.
Joey's old friend, anger, had masked its allies fear and longing, such that it washed over her in waves at the news of Pacey's impending departure. Quite the opposite of wanting to shoot the messenger, deep down Joey had been grateful to Doug for his "advisory."
In his own way, she understood that he was rooting for them.
No regrets.
Mrs. Ryan had no regrets. She'd taken a chance, made her feelings clear to Thomas What's-his-name and had no regrets.
Doug had cautioned him against regrets, too.
Between those not-so-subtle warnings and the stricken look on Joey's face when she thought he was "giving up," Pacey took it as a sign to… well, paint a sign, and like Dougie suggested, spell it out to her in clear, unwavering terms.
That way, if he saw Joey's face in the stars while sailing, it would be because he dreamed of her, not because he was haunted by that look.
Except for never having actually said, "I love you, Joey Potter" he was sure she knew how he felt about her. How could she not? What he had posited yesterday was true; the decision for them to be together was all hers; but if she needed to know he wasn't giving up on "them," he wanted to make himself absolutely clear. He didn't suppose it would hurt to send out one last SOS, right?
After all, how could it hurt worse than it already did?
Retrieving a can of paint from the stash at the boatyard, Pacey made his way downtown where he stood once again before that expanse of brick with its plain white square canvas startling bright even in the residual rays of daylight. He could understand how it intimidated Joey. From where he was standing in that vacant lot the blank space to be filled seemed vast.
Since he had spent the better part of yesterday evening staring at that wall and he was on somewhat of a time schedule after his phone call to Bessie, he got right to work. Being neither poet nor artist, he decided on a straightforward heartfelt plea; hoping its simplicity would elicit a positive reaction.
Besides, he was tired of talking.
He only wanted to hear one word.
He needed her to eradicate that image of their goodbye scene he'd prophesied earlier.
Just like he knew she was capable of doing, when they were aboard the True Love and she raised those truly remarkable brown eyes to his, he wanted her to ask him to "stay".
Glaring at his back as he sauntered away leaving her with a half-used bottle of milk, she realized that he had effectively tossed the ball directly into her court.
Unfortunately, she didn't have a game plan. So, doing as Pacey bid her, Joey turned her head and stared at the wall.
Shoulders slumping a fraction, Joey could fool everyone but herself that she was furious with the boy who was leaving; but the person she had issued those jibes to while standing beside this very wall just yesterday morning wasn't Pacey.
They were to herself.
Because, as usual, she was paralyzed by fear.
Unable to make a decision; unable to let go of the one thing that was standing in their way.
As she committed the four little words to memory, gradually any residual anger she felt from her earlier accusations that he was running away, giving up, evaporated. The crushing need to rush after him and throw herself into his arms was tempered this time by an overwhelming wonder at this boy who really didn't give up.
Pacey was right when he reminded her that it had always been her decision to be together or not and that they were unfinished just like her wall.
But that was just it.
She wanted him to stay.
She needed him to stay.
But why did he want to?
Why would someone as amazing as Pacey want someone as screwed up as her? She had nothing to offer him.
Her eyes bored into the still wet, red paint. He'd wanted her to ask him to stay.
But how could she?
She was already the reason why his childhood friendship with Dawson was in shambles. She couldn't ask him to give up the sea, too.
The question, as always - was she willing to lose Dawson to be with Pacey?
The bleeding paint mirrored the ache in her chest when she found couldn't answer yes.
Thursday's child
What If I by Ben's Brother
What if I'm wrong
And you figure it out
That we just don't belong
And you're better off without me
The minute you're gone
I bet it would dawn on me
Suddenly, suddenly
Yeah
So what if I
What if I fall
Would you hate me
Would you let me go
What if I realized
That you're the only one
Who makes me
Who makes me whole
Blundering on
Making no sense
Without any thought
To the consequences
But one of these days
The truth will be facing me
And I will find a way back to you again, oh
So what if I
What if I fall
Would you hate me
Would you take it all
What if I realized
That you're the only one
Who makes me
Who makes me
Who makes me whole
Yeah
Who makes me whole now
What if I
What if I find the thing that I want
The minute you're gone
I bet it would dawn on me
Suddenly, suddenly
Yeah
So what if I
What if I fall
Would you hate me
Would you take it all
What if I realized
That you're the only one
Who makes me
Can make me
Who makes me whole
While it was true that Dawson used to be able to tell everything Joey Potter was thinking by looking in her eyes, she'd become adept at hiding the truth.
To spare him?
To spare herself his scorn?
Whatever her reasons, he hated it.
Pacey had declared him victorious, but the girl who danced so stiffly in his arms with barely-suppressed grief upon her face told a different story. Her eyes had been shielded from his searching gaze but it didn't matter. He'd seen her courage in the face of loss too many times before not to recognize it for what it was.
Her heart was breaking, and while he wanted to blame it all on Pacey, she'd made it clear during their chat on the dock the night before that it was his fault.
And he just… couldn't do it anymore.
Joey had asked him if he meant what he'd said in the best man's toast: I think that that's really what love means; that you can forgive anything. Though he'd meant every word with regard to his mom and dad, fleeting regret tinged the memory when he realized she was throwing his own words right back at him.
With a heavy sigh, Dawson knew – he just knew - that he needed to let her go; because what mattered most to him at that moment was what she wanted.
And right now it wasn't him.
Even he knew that relationship cultivated by manipulation wouldn't work out in the end; he had to let her go and find out for herself that she and Pacey would never work.
Dawson had turned her away the night of the stripper party because it wouldn't have been right for him to take advantage of her; he knew that it wasn't their time then.
Apparently, it wasn't their time now either.
Knowing Joey would never go to Pacey as long as he held his ultimatum over her head, Dawson exercised the most common of teen clichés; he set her free hoping that she'd come back to him someday.
Which was why he stood at the end of his dock, watching the girl that he'd always thought was his, fly away to seek the arms of his best friend. Being more than he could bear, he sank to the wooden floor in a heap, crumpling much like his face.
Friday's child
Someday by Lifehouse
You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry
[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone
[Chorus]
And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow
Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday
[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again
Running in a dress wasn't what finally slowed Joey down; it was the sandals, which she was so unaccustomed to wearing. She crunched and slid along the gravelly edge of the road until she stumbled and stopped. Gasping for air, she regained her balance and, breathing heavily, continued at a more deliberate pace until she gave up any attempt at decorum and took the damn things off.
She wondered where she was running to anyway?
Earlier, from the corner of her eye, Joey had surreptitiously watched the tense exchange between Pacey and Dawson. Even without hearing what was said, she could almost fill in the blanks from their expressions and body language alone. Besides, she didn't need to hear the actual words; the three of them had been saying the same things to each other on a continuous loop for weeks now. Moments later she had seen Pacey hugging Gale and shaking Mitch's hand - then he was gone.
She knew she had to find him.
Of course… first she needed to change. Call it stalling, but her inner tomboy wasn't about to go running around Capeside in a seafoam confection.
Yet even though an hour later found Joey comfortably clad in shorts and a tank top, she still wasn't moving in any direction; she was sitting at the end of her dock.
For, all that junk she'd told Pacey earlier that she needed to work through and didn't know how to begin to process? While standing in front of the mirror after she'd changed, she'd frozen under its weight.
The junk had decided for her it was time. Time to begin processing.
And so she'd let her feet lead her to the one place where she could think. Ironically, it was the exact spot where their saga had begun nine, long months ago when they weren't even sure they'd be friends.
Her palms dusted the sun-warmed planks of the dock as Joey gave way to her thoughts, pondering exactly what had transpired between her, Dawson and Pacey today… and indeed the past year.
Hurt and humiliation weren't at the core of her heavy heart though as they had been at the beginning of the year when she last sat here alone; the dull pain she felt right now was all her own fault. Pacey had done nothing but care for her, and still she couldn't bring herself to get up and go find him.
The bitter taste of self-hatred filled her mouth at that knowledge and her palms clenched into tight fists. Unable to stand the taste, she made an effort to change the direction of her thoughts, swinging her legs to help her relax.
Dawson hadn't promised that he'd forgive her - no matter what he'd said in the damn toast today. That sick twist in her gut kicked in again, telling her that their relationship would never be the same, causing the momentum of her swinging legs to jerk and slow.
There would be no going back after today's events.
No more climbing up that ladder.
No more deconstruction of the latest Spielberg film.
No more refuge from the storms in her life.
Of course, she'd had none of those things for a year now and somehow she'd muddled through.
With Pacey by my side. That tiny voice nagged at the edge of her consciousness again.
Suddenly frowning, Joey realized that Dawson had verbalized something she and Pacey hadn't even admitted to each other. His voice echoed through her memory, "You love him like I love you. The only difference is he loves you back the same way."
Pacey loved her?
Did she love Pacey?
Chewing on her bottom lip, her legs now completely still, Joey realized that she couldn't move because nothing had really changed since she told Pacey goodbye at the wedding.
What exactly was she going to say to him? "Dawson told me to go to you; he thinks that I love you?" Cringing at the look she imagined those words might cause on Pacey's face; Joey dropped her head in defeat.
She couldn't do it. She couldn't go to Pacey because Dawson told her to.
He deserved more than that.
Her fists clenched again as she released she was getting nowhere in her search for answers.
Maybe Pacey was right; maybe she was going to get what she needed - three months to figure things out.
Drawing her legs up until her feet rested flat on the worn wood, Joey rested her chin on her knees and finally made a decision…
To wait until tomorrow to make one.
Rambling toward Doug's place, Pacey thought back to the goodbyes he'd experienced with the women he'd loved in the last few years. He was fairly sure that none were quite as anti-climactic as the one between Joey and him on the Leery's front steps. His last moments with Tamara had been heartbreaking and bittersweet. When Andie left for Mayfield, they had trembled in each other's arms. Compared to the complete lack of emotion Joey expressed before she turned and bolted, those particular partings ranked right up there with Rick and Ilsa in Casablanca.
Sighing tiredly, he let himself into the apartment and tossed his sports coat carelessly on the back of a chair. Doug was working the night shift and had neatly stacked the last of Pacey's gear by the door. Seemed the deputy was just as anxious to see his little brother leave as said sibling was to go.
Plopping down on the couch that had been his bed for the past year, he flipped through the channels seeking one last night of mindless distraction. Starting the next day, he would be entertained by the wonders of the sea and the sky; nothing that required an electrical outlet. Excitement about his departure warred with the grief of losing Joey for good this time but he pushed it down, determined to be done with it.
For Pacey had a new adventure ahead of him, and it was gonna be great.
And if he did see a certain face in the stars each night, so be it. He had no regrets.
The itch to leave that night was strong but the sailor in him knew that night sailing on his first day out was probably ill-advised. No, he'd get a good night's sleep and leave at sunrise tomorrow; maybe he'd even get up and go stretch out on Doug's bed and spend his final night on land in comfort.
It was the last thing he remembered thinking before he drifted off to sleep.
Sunday's child
Tailor Made by Colbie Caillat
Twenty-five,
All of these mixed emotions,
Tangled up in pure confusion,
It's hard to let go of the past, but it seems,
Easier as time is moving,
Well you said he makes you laugh,
And he makes you happy,
He sees you smiling back,
It is everlasting,
And so he's tailor made for you,
With stunning golden hues,
And one sweet tone to soothe,
Your persistent beating heart it's just a start,
And I, have seen you every day,
You've never been like this before,
He's tailor made, tailor, tailor made,
So let go all of these mixed emotions,
Forget all your hesitations,
Together entwined inside this feeling,
Feet off the ground, head hits ceiling,
Then he whispered in your ear,
He's absolutely falling,
The words he said are clear,
So don't insist on stalling
Because he's tailor made for you,
With stunning golden hues,
And one sweet tone to soothe,
Your persistent beating heart it's just a start,
And I, have seen you every day,
You've never been like this before,
He's tailor made,
Oh sister, don't be troubled,
Oh sister, please be calm,
Cause this isn't, what you're used to, at all,
He's tailor made for you,
With stunning golden hues,
And one sweet tone to soothe,
Your persistent beating heart it's just a start,
And I, have seen you every day,
You've never been like this before,
He's tailor made, tailor, tailor made
Shimmering butterflies lit upon her fingers as she lifted her arms in wonder. The mass of wings lifted delicately from her skin and flew forward a few inches, hovering in place as if waiting for her. Curious, Joey tipped her head sideways. These ethereal creatures had become so much a part of her nights that she didn't even question their meaning but simply reveled in their presence.
Forward and back they flew, urging her, until she took a step. Wispy flutters of encouragement repeated the process until she understood that she was to follow them. Gently they led her through the twilight of her dream until they reached the sea where they floated around her in a comforting cloud, occasionally alighting upon her, the quiver of their wings like angel's kisses.
There she stood on the edge of the world until the tide shifted and water slithered around her feet. A splinter of the sun peeked over the edge of the world with a sliver of black-edged ginger when the cloud of butterflies that had held vigil with her rose and scattered in the early morning sky, free.
Then Pacey's voice rumbled across her subconscious.
I know how I feel. YOU know how I feel. That much is obvious by now. But during this whole process, we've managed to miss the point. Because the point is not how I feel. It's how you feel. So how do you feel?
Now fully awake, Joey sat up and gasped, her eyes wide open.
Pacey was right! She knew how he felt. Never had she doubted how much he cared for her.
It was in that moment, as visions of her butterflies faded, she realized she knew - really knew - how she felt. The knowledge that she had denied herself for so long became crystal clear as memories of the past year came flooding forward, rushing into each other…
The steady weight of his arm slung across her shoulder as she cried over Dawson… his rolled eyes and exaggerated sigh as they walked along the road cutting school… the pencil sketch he drew of the B&B… a bead of sweat running down his neck as they repaired the True Love… the sawdust in his hair as they toiled side by side on the B&B… his support on Principal Green's campaign… the tip of his tongue as he worked diligently on their homework… the image of his breath as it met the cold, winter air when he first showed her their wall… his heavy foot on her toes as they danced… the teasing in his voice when he left her stranded in the attic… his unfailing patience as he taught her to drive… all the long, deep kisses they shared on their log, in the boathouse… the absolute agony of their moonlight sail… the feel of his fingers against her skin as they brushed her mother's bracelet… the way he looked at her with those unfathomable, smiling, ocean blue eyes – looking so deep he saw the real person inside, with all her flaws and imperfections – and still wanted her…
She loved him.
No. She was in love with him.
Joey Potter was in love with Pacey Witter.
The butterflies had led her to a place where she stood protected until she understood their message. Their meaning was not death but love and the freedom that comes from letting go.
Even the two boys who knew her best could see what she had been too afraid to admit.
She couldn't wait a moment longer. She had to go find Pacey and tell him. She had to see him now. Whether or not he stayed, he deserved to know the truth; she couldn't let him leave thinking she didn't love him.
The night was only a shade lighter than black through the gap in her bedroom curtains as she simultaneously slid into a pair of jeans and sneakers; her heart beating wildly, she grabbed the first top she touched in her closet and threw it on as she rushed down the hall and ran out the back door, praying she wasn't too late.
A streak of red caught his eye as Doug maneuvered his squad car slowly through the residential neighborhood in the dim pre-dawn light. Brown locks streaming behind her, he thought he recognized Joey pounding the pavement toward the harbor.
Flashing his lights at her, he pulled alongside the running girl and rolled down the passenger window. "Going somewhere, Miss Potter?"
Barely pausing to speak, Joey huffed out, "Not now, Doug! No time!"
Following slowly to keep abreast of her, Doug called out, "Need a ride?"
Realization dawned across her features as Joey slowed to a halt, Doug mirroring her action with the car.
The automatic locks clicked open and she jumped into the passenger seat, breathing heavily.
"So…Where to, Joey? Headed to the marina by any chance?" He smirked.
Still gasping a bit for air, Joey just nodded. As Doug eased slowly down the street, she wondered if she couldn't have just run faster and turned to him with a pleading look.
His face impassive and unreadable as always, Joey only knew he'd obliged her unspoken entreaty when she felt the vehicle slowly gain speed, rolling quickly but cautiously through the quiet Capeside streets.
"He hasn't left yet, has he?" she finally ventured to ask.
"Seeing as how the sun has barely cracked the horizon and we're talking about a guy who hasn't seen this side of dawn since the night he spent in jail, my educated guess is no. But I've been on patrol all night and haven't seen or talked to him."
Not wanting to take any chances, Joey verbalized her urgency, beseeching him, "Hurry, Doug. Please."
Doug chewed the inside of his cheek in a gesture so reminiscent of Pacey that Joey knew he was debating with himself.
Coming to a decision, he glanced at her and said gently, "Do you know what you want now, Joey? Because if you don't, I think I should just take you home."
Embarrassment flooded her cheeks pink as she realized that Doug was protecting Pacey – from her! Pushing past her discomfort at discussing this with him, she nodded firmly, leaving her chin slightly elevated after the gesture. "I know what I want, Doug."
The small voice inside her whispered, "I've always known…" She had just been too scared to admit it to herself.
Doug smiled, satisfied. It looked like one of his advisories was finally paying off.
Practically before he stopped, Joey was out of the car as he pulled up to the edge of the marina parking lot. He leaned back in his seat, peering through the windshield and watched as she skittered down the dock frantically calling Pacey's name.
The romantic in him couldn't help but feel a little choked up at the thought of those two crazy kids finally getting it right. He cleared his throat and coughed, unable to admit that the tightness he felt might just be at another thought – the one where he'd miss that punk little brother of his this summer.
Surprised to hear, of all people's, Joey's voice, Pacey came out of the boathouse to find her darting about calling his name. He'd been making his final checks, ensuring he had everything he needed on board and hadn't left anything behind. It was the third time he'd been inside the boathouse to do this; a niggle lingering inside him as though he was forgetting something important. But seeing Joey, and with all the rush of emotion – the joy twinned with pain – that her presence brought, he was anxious to leave and be damned if he was forgetting anything he needed.
Guarding his heart at his unexpected visitor, he played it cool, calmly untying the knots that fettered the True Love, stepping around her as she talked excitedly, her hands fluttering.
But as Pacey bent to untie the last knot, his back to the girl he once said was so beautiful it gave him butterflies, Joey realized she was losing him. An intense look of concentration and determination crossed her face as she pursed her lips, made a decision and whirled to face him.
Her courage gathered, she said clearly, "I think I'm in love with you."
For fear she'd evaporate if he turned toward her, to prevent himself from closing the distance between them to take her in his arms - or maybe just to confirm that this fickle girl who owned his heart wanted him to own hers - Pacey paused, and without looking at her, asked for clarification, "You think or you know?"
She smiled to herself that even now, he was challenging her. "I know," she confirmed in a steady voice.
And just like that Joey Potter made an unequivocal statement followed by a persuasive argument stemmed from a really beautiful, pure place, absolutely sure of herself for the first time in weeks.
Pacey smiled at that while his heart lifted and soared, the cracks and bruises healed by her confession. Elated, he drew closer to her and asked, "What are we gonna do here, Jo?"
The morning music of seabirds merged with the slap of water against the hull of the boat as she only momentarily considered her answer. The idea of staying in Capeside for the summer without Pacey was unacceptable to her now. Impulsively, she took the second biggest leap of her life, as she decisively declared her desire, "I want to come with you."
Stunned was too mild a word to describe Pacey's reaction as he considered, and then debated her request until she countered his questions with the one admission that almost made his knees buckle. "Not as much as I need you, Pacey."
That elusive niggle in his heart that he was forgetting something dissolved. For now he truly had everything he needed.
Taking a moment to compose himself, sniffing away the moisture that had welled and clearing his throat, Pacey grinned and shook his finger at her when she tried to board. Though she had as much blood, sweat and tears invested in the vessel as he did and though she'd already shared her maiden voyage with its captain, this was a new phase of the small craft's life - a whole and happy phase. He thought perhaps they should start from the beginning and get off on the right foot.
And just like she did all those months ago from the bottom of a ladder perched against her hull, Joey acquiesced. Holding out her hand, she repeated the very same request. "Permission to come aboard?"
"Permission granted," he agreed with only the slightest hitch in his voice.
Taking her hand, he guided her aboard and then they were finally, finally touching. Passion welled within them spilling onto each other through happy kisses. They didn't know whether to laugh or kiss or weep with joy.
What they did know was that somehow - from sitting side-by-side as barely friends on the edge of one moonlit dock, to standing together in love at the end of another under the glow of the morning sun - they'd found safe harbor in each other's arms.
A satisfied sigh escaped Doug as he watched the True Love sail into the sunrise, knowing he had just witnessed the beginning of one of the greatest love stories of all time. Whether smooth sailing or stormy weather lie ahead, he was confident that together they'd see it through. For what better foundation for a relationship than three months alone with no one to interfere and no one to depend on but themselves?
Watching as the small vessel became a mere pinpoint on the horizon, it occurred to him how early it was and reached for his cell, assuming this call had been forgotten in the excitement. "Bessie? It's Doug…"
*~* From One Harbor To Another *~*
THE END