Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

A/N: Thanks you guys for actually continuing to read this story. It's crazy how I still have new readers favoriting and subscribing to this one. I love it. It keeps me going. So, as always, thank you so much for reviewing and giving me fuel. This story really is my baby, and I just want it to finally grow up and be complete! Don't worry, though; I won't rush things. I want the best for these characters, whom I've really grown to love, and I won't all of a sudden make everything sunshine and daffodils for them for no other reason than because I've lost inspiration or I got bored. I would never do that to you guys or myself. Anyways, here we go!

Warnings: Um, the last part is a little sad. So, consider yourselves warned.

Chapter Thirty Eight

Not Like The Movies

Puck pulled his sunglasses lower, flicking up the collar to his jacket as he tried to appear casual while inside the public library. He fiddled with the fake mustache he'd glued to his upper lip and adjusted the bill to his trucker cap as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, browsing through the fiction section, tracing the spines of books as he walked. He glanced around, hoping no one was watching him as he backed slowly toward the gay and lesbian section. He whistled, again to appear casual, as he finally turned to the shelves containing row after row of books dealing with homosexuality. He was overwhelmed as he took in all the titles: You're Gay and That's (Kinda) Okay; 365 Ways to Make the New Year Queer-er; Pink Ties and Limp Wrists; Faggots Are Awesome and 100 Other Reasons Why You Being Gay is Fabulous; Famous Lesbians in Sports (and That One Gay Guy). His brow grew moist with perspiration the longer he stood there; he felt like everyone in the library was staring at him, judging him, disgusted with his reading material. He tried to back away when he bumped into someone carrying a large stack of books.

"Shit," Puck said as he leaned down to pick up the books. "Sorry."

"No problem," Blaine said, as he scurried to pick up the books as well. Puck freaked. He hadn't counted on seeing anyone he knew here. "I'm such a klutz anyway. It was bound to happen. I was actually just coming over to see if you needed any help."

"Caterpillar br – I mean, um…Nice to meet you, complete stranger who I've never met before. You work here?" Puck asked, dropping his voice an octave to disguise it.

"Yeah, I'm kind of the head librarian," Blaine said nonchalantly.

"That's cool," Puck said, his voice still abnormally low. "Um, I was actually just leaving…nice to meet you Blaine - ."

" – Anderson," he said. "Yeah. How did you know my name?"

"Your…uh…your name tag," Puck said, flicking the plastic tag that bore Blaine's name on his lapel.

"Oh, duh," Blaine said, rolling his eyes with a smile as he adjusted it. "I'm such an airhead sometimes."

"Don't worry, bro," Puck said, punching Blaine on the arm a bit too roughly. "We all get brain farts." Blaine scowled as he rubbed his arm, looking Puck up and down.

"I'm sorry, but have we met?" Blaine said, trying to peer around Puck's sunglasses and hat. "I feel like I know you…"

"No, no," Puck said gruffly, pulling his jacket tightly around his body and adjusting the fake mustache on his upper lip. "I'm nobody. I'll just be going now."

"No, you don't have to do that," Blaine said, suddenly distracted by something. "Oh geez. Will you excuse me for a sec? I'll send someone to help you, just, don't leave yet, okay? Patches!" Blaine said, yelling over the railing down to the grimy looking custodian on the first floor. "What are you doing down there? Stop licking that lady's shoe!" he screamed. "Don't make me get the spray bottle!" Blaine hurried down the stairs, Puck eager to get out of there before anyone else caught sight of him. He'd barely taken a few steps away, however, when he bumped into Brittany coming out from behind another stack of books.

"Seriously?" Puck muttered, pulling his hat lower.

"Hi, Puck!" Brittany said cheerily.

"Hey Britt," Puck said, cursing his stupid disguise. "I mean…no! Shit. How'd you know it was me?"

"I could sense your aura," Brittany said with a shrug. "That plus you have 'Noah Puckerman' sewn onto the tag of your jacket."

"Fucking Christ," Puck muttered, ripping the name tag his mom had sewn onto his jacket and stuffing it into his jeans. "Look, you never saw me here, okay?"

"But…I'm looking at you right now," Brittany said, walking behind the counter to put some books on a cart.

"No, I – wait a sec. Do you work here?" Puck asked.

"Yup," Brittany replied cheerily. "I needed some extra money to put Lord Tubbington through rehab, and Kurt told Blaine about it so he hired me. Well, that and Santana said sorting the books could help me freshen up on the alphabet."

"Britt, just don't tell anyone I was here," Puck said, looking worriedly over his shoulder should Blaine return. "And don't mention I took these with me," he said, flipping open his jacket to show the books he'd pilfered from the wall.

"Oh," Brittany said, looking shocked. "You can't do that. The security sensors will go off," Brittan said. "I could check them out for you."

"I don't really want these on my library card," Puck said. "You know, I don't even think I have one."

"You can put them under mine," Brittany said, smiling as she tried her best to be helpful. "Here," she said, taking the books from Puck. She scanned the books and typed a few keys into the computer before she scrunched her face up and tried typing in the codes again. She bit her lip as she looked worriedly to Puck. "Uh oh. I think I messed up again."

"No, you know what Britt?" Puck said, trying to pull the books back from her so he could hide them in the stacks and just leave already. "I'm gonna go. I can just jack some books from Barnes & Noble."

"No! I can fix this," Brittany said, angrily slamming her fingers on the keyboard before sighing and reaching for the phone to the loudspeaker. "Blaine, please come to the second floor checkout desk. I need some help checking out some gay books. The computer's angry at me again. Once again, Blaine Anderson, report to the second story desk for a gay book checkout." She hung up the phone before smiling innocently to Puck. "He'll just be a sec." Puck groaned as he realized the entirety of the library had heard Britt's distress call and now everyone was probably looking at him and wondering just who would want to check out some 'gay books'.

"Britt, we talked about this," Blaine said as he swept by Puck and helped Brittany behind the desk. "Our patrons have a right to privacy."

"Oh, sorry," Brittany said. "I'll try to remember that."

"Wait a sec," Blaine said, squinting at the computer screen. "Why are these books going under your name?"

"Because Puck was too ashamed to put them under his card," Brittany said with a shrug. When Puck glared at her over his fake mustache she simply stared back glassy-eyed. "What?"

"Thanks a lot, Britt," Puck said, peeling off the mustache and taking off the sunglasses and hat, which was a relief since it flattened his hair and started to itch.

"Puck?" Blaine said, with a chuckle. "What's with the disguise?" Then he looked down to the books he had just re-scanned and a look of comprehension passed over his face. "Oh…"

"Alright, so I checked out some homo-literature," Puck said, snatching the books from Blaine. "Just, don't tell anyone, okay? Especially Kurt."

"Well, I think Kurt would actually be pleasantly surprised that you're trying to come to grips with your sexuality," Blaine said.

"Oh, trust me, I've got a firm grip on my sexuality. I grip it all the time. Two, sometimes three times a day," Puck smirked. "Just…I just don't want him knowing about this. Not yet."

"My lips are sealed," Blaine reassured him.

"Did you think that glue stick was chapstick, too?" Brittany asked, touching her still raw lips. Blaine rubbed her back in pity as Puck waved them off.

glee

"With all members present, save of course for our Honorary President Noah Puckeman, this meeting of the Puckurt Club will officially come to order," Artie said, officiating as Tina and Quinn sat around him in the empty classroom.

"Not so fast, Artie," Mercedes said, strolling into the room with Rachel and Brittany. They took seats directly across from the trio, facing them as Artie, Tina, and Quinn looked on confusedly. Brittany, meanwhile, was setting up a laptop on the teacher's empty desk so it faced all of them. Turning it on Santana's face came into view, smiling evilly as she pulled her hair out of her face into a bun.

"Okay, let's get this shit show started," Santana said, quickly losing her interest in the club.

"Santana?" Tina said, looking into the laptop. "Why are you Skyping in?"

"Because being alone in a room with the five of you is, to me, the type of torture the UN usually sends troops to put a stop to," she said, filing her nails. "That and I just got my period so I'm pretty sure I'd end up killing one of you by the end of the meeting."

"Someone please log her off," Quinn said, rubbing her temples.

"Oh Quinn," Santana said, smirking wickedly. "Eat me."

"Okay," Artie said, banging the gavel down to retain order. "So, you guys have decided to join the Puckurt Club."

"By default," Rachel added, putting her finger in the air to show her objection. "But yes, we've come to aid you in your valiant quest to reunite Kurt and Puck in homosexual bliss."

"Now, I don't like that little spiky haired, man whore, homewrecker," Mercedes said, chiming in. "But I know Kurt, and he wouldn't let someone into his heart and be able to move on so quickly. That boy falls hard. So hard that he's probably still in love with Puck, even though I still think him and Sam are a better fit. But that aside, he loves Puck. So I've come to make sure you put aside all y'alls differences and just focus on Kurt getting back together with Puck, as well as making sure Puck treats him the way he deserves to be treated."

"That's what we're trying to accomplish, too," Quinn said. "But this is more than just Kurt. Puck's hurting too. We're trying to get him to see that the only reason he dumped Kurt was because he was so afraid of falling in love and being gay."

"I thought the reason he dumped Kurt was because he was getting all tangled up in your chonies," Santana said, admiring the way she'd sharply filed her nail into a claw.

"I didn't know Puck and Kurt were together at the time - ," Quinn defended.

" – But you and Finn were," Rachel muttered, running her fingers through her hair and pursing her lips as she looked away innocently.

"Oh my God, when are you going to let that go!?" Quinn scoffed. "Yes, I stole Finn from you, but then you got him right back, so we're even now."

"I'm just trying to demonstrate to everyone here that you have a tendency to go around using boyfriends like they're disposable until you get tired and then move on to the next one," she said, rising from her seat and pointing accusatorily at Quinn, "and that, Your Honor, is why she deserves no say in what happens between Kurt and Puck!" Mercedes side-eyed Rachel before tugging her down to her seat, making sure she didn't embarrass herself further.

"You do realize this isn't a courtroom," Artie reminded her, setting the gavel down and staring concernedly at Rachel.

"I'm sorry, I've just been overdosing on Law & Order: SVU on Netflix," Rachel said, regaining her composure.

"Look, what Pinocchio's said was right," Santana said. "You all have done nothing but push Puck and Kurt further apart."

"On the contrary, I think we've been instrumental in helping Kurt and Puck overcome their differences and move forward in their - ," Artie began.

"Seriously, shut up. If I were there, I'd roll you out of the room myself," Santana said. "Look, you bumbling idiots couldn't get two magnets to stick together, let alone a fairy princess and his knight in rainbow-plated armor who were so obviously gay for each other I'm surprised it took everyone this long to figure it out. But whatever, Puck just needs to back off."

"How insightful," Quinn said mockingly. "If only you were there when Tina and I told him that two days ago."

"Don't think I won't run over there and face-fuck you with this nail file, Fabray," Santana threatened, pointing it directly into the webcam.

"Okay, that's enough," Mercedes said, getting to her feet. "Goodbye, Santana. Rachel and I will fill you in on whatever you missed later."

"Wheezy, if you shut me off, so help me God, there won't be a drive-thru in this state that will serve you again!" Santana cried before Mercedes slammed the screen down.

"Look y'all, we just want to see Kurt happy. Considering all the bullying he goes through that boy deserves some good lovin' in his life, and if you take into account the lack of eligible gay kids in this town, if Puck's the one that can give it to him, great," Mercedes reasoned. "I just think the Puckurt Club should be just that: a club. No more meddling, no more getting involved. Just sit back and hope for the best but prepare for the worst."

"I agree," Tina said. Quinn and Artie looked to her, betrayed, as she added, "Well, she's right. Maybe we have been getting too involved. Look at what happened with Kurt and Sam. We broke them up."

"Isn't that what we wanted?" Brittany asked as she swung her feet from the teacher's desk and continued to eat the Twizzlers she found in one of the drawers.

"Yeah, but it shouldn't have been because of us. They should have broken up on their own," Tina said. "Maybe it's not just Puck that should take a step back; maybe we should too."

"All of this is irrelevant," Quinn said. "Kurt's never going to get back together with him. Not as long as Puck stays in the closet."

"It's true," Rachel agreed, though half-heartedly because Quinn said it. "When my fathers first started dating, my Papa almost broke up with my Dad because he wouldn't come out to his parents. It wasn't until he did come out that they reconciled."

"I don't know," Artie said unsurely. "Puck may play the badass, but deep down I think this whole gay thing might be his Achilles' heel. He might never come out."

Silence filled the room as they all contemplated what that could mean for both Puck and Kurt. Puck, a double-life filled with secret rendezvous with male escorts between picking the kids up from soccer practice and planning his wife's birthday, while for Kurt it could mean a life of loneliness, of pining for the boy who got away while questioning why all of his relationships failed.

"We can't let it get that far," Quinn said, shaking the ugly thoughts of the boys' futures form her mind.

"Oh trust me, we won't," Mercedes said. "If he takes his damn time making his love for Kurt public, and push comes to shove, I'mma tackle that mohawked fool out of the closet and back into Kurt's heart."

"Lord help us all," Artie said under his breath just as he swung the gavel down and dismissed the club for the day.

glee

Puck rifled through the books in front of him on his bed, his mind racing. Reading all this…queer… stuff made it real. It made all those thoughts he had while checking out other guys' bodies in the locker room, all those wet dreams that didn't have one girl in them, all those times he watched porn and got off on watching the guy instead of the girl, were now evidence towards his homosexuality. Or bisexuality. He wasn't really sure which he was. Pansexual even. He accidentally stumbled on some tranny porn once, and it's not like he clicked away immediately.

Whatever. He knew know he wasn't straight. And just mentally saying that to himself, that he wasn't straight anymore, made him break out into a cold sweat. 'How could moving myself from one category to another make me freak out so badly?' he thought. 'So I'm not just a pussy-hound anymore; I like cock too. Doesn't make me any less of a sex shark. Besides, an ass is an ass. Although, come to think of it, I think I do like guys' butts more. Especially Kurt's…Kurt's is just...the best…' He stared off dreamily as he remembered Kurt's buttocks, rubbing himself through his shorts and drool trickling down the side of his mouth as he pictured the perfect curves and color of his ex's ass.

"Noah, what are you doing?" his mom asked him as she came into his room, rifling through the clothes strewn around in piles for the ones that needed washing. She stuck them in the laundry basket as Puck readjusted himself and used a book to cover his semi, pretending to focus on the words inside while really picturing his nana naked in order to return his dick to full flaccidity. "Are you reading?" Puck kept his head down guiltily, ignoring her questions. "Well, maybe I'll skate to work tonight because Hell has just frozen over." Puck rolled his eyes as he actually began reading up on the gay civil rights movement, not noticing his mother hovering over him.

"What are you reading?" she asked, dropping the laundry basket and snatching the book from out of his lap. Shit. He hadn't actually considered that she would take an interest in his reading material. In his seventeen years on earth his mother had never taken an interest in anything he did. "Many consider the storming of the Stonewall night club and subsequent riots of 1969 the beginning of the modern gay rights movement in America…" she read out loud. "Is this for school? I don't think this is appropriate reading material for children. Maybe I should go down there and have a talk with your History teacher and principal about this."

"No, Ma, it's – it's not for school," Puck said, gulping back his fear. Now. He knew he'd do it soon, but it was better now. Now or never. No backing down, no pussying out, no turning back.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me you grabbed the wrong book from that boy in your Glee club," Miriam said. "The little flitty one whose father owns the mechanic shop downtown? Uch, I don't know how that man lets his son run around town dressed the way he dresses. He should be ashamed."

"His name's Kurt, Ma," Puck said, gritting his teeth. "And there's nothing wrong with the way he dresses. And his dad is actually proud of him. Why would he be ashamed of his son?"

"What's gotten into you?" Miriam asked. "Reading this filth. Defending that boy."

"I already told you," Puck said, finally looking up into his mother's eyes, "his name is Kurt. And this isn't filth," Puck said, grabbing the book back from his mom. "It's history. It's real life."

"Not my life," Miriam scoffed, throwing more clothes into the basket.

"No, Ma. Mine," Puck said. Miriam turned to look at her son, a shocked look on her face.

"That isn't funny, Noah," Miriam reprimanded.

"I'm not joking," Puck said, shrugging his shoulders. "This book," he said, waving the cover so that A History of Gay Pride was visibly shown, "is about me. I'm gay, Ma."

"No," Miriam said, shaking her head. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am, Ma," Puck said defiantly. "I'm gay."

"But..but all those girls," Miriam said, stuttering. "And the women! I know there were women, Noah. I've heard things, as much as I've tried not to, I know! You can't be gay. You're not, you're just not."

"Ma," Puck said, pushing the books aside, "I am. I'm gay. The girls and the women…they didn't mean anything to me. They were just…there."

"This can't be," Miriam said, sitting back on Puck's desk chair and burying her face in her hands. "How did this happen?"

"It just is, Ma," Puck shrugged. "I was born this way."

"No," Miriam said vehemently. "No. You were not born this way. I didn't raise you to be a fagela. You're confused, is all. We can get you help," she said, reaching out for Puck's hand and embracing it reassuredly.

"God, Ma, I'm not confused," Puck said, pushing her hands back. "I'm gay. Nothing's going to change that."

"Why aren't you fighting this?" Miriam asked despondently.

"Why aren't you accepting this?" Puck shot back. "This is…this is the first time I've been completely open and honest with you about something, and you're acting like something's wrong!"

"Something is wrong, Noah!" Miriam said. "Something got crossed in your head, or you were brainwashed…You're not gay!"

"Yes, I am!" Puck said, his anger growing. "And there's nothing wrong with me! If anything I've never felt more right!"

"Fine," Miriam said, wiping back her tears. "If that's how you feel, I want you out." Puck simply looked back shocked, not sure he'd heard her. "You heard me. Out! I did not raise a gay son!"

"You know what, you didn't," Puck said. "You haven't done jackshit for me ever since dad left. You've treated me like I was some burden."

"And what else do you call a son who gets expelled from two different middle schools, who constantly gets sent to the principal for fighting, who gets arrested and sent to juvenile hall?!" Miriam shouted. "I've put up with a lot from you, but this, this is the last straw! I want you out!"

"Fine!" Puck said, grabbing a bag and quickly stuffing whatever clothing he could get his hands on inside. He fought back tears of rage as he tried not to just throw everything around and break whatever it was he could get his hands on. He clenched his jaw as he zipped the bag up, throwing it over his shoulder before turning to face his mother again. He didn't know what to say; all of this was happening so fast. He didn't think that coming out would lead to him being thrown out of his house. He simply glared at her before stomping down the stairs.

"Noah? What's going on?" Sarah asked, her tiny voice stopping him in his tracks. She emerged from the kitchen, the hiding place she'd always used whenever Puck and his mother got into it. "Are you and Mama fighting again?"

"Yeah, Sar-bear, but this is the last time," Puck said, getting down on his knees to talk to her. "See, I'm going away for a while."

"You're leaving?" Sarah asked, her small eyes shining with unshed tears at the thought of her older brother leaving her behind.

"Only for a little bit," Puck said, grabbing her hands in his and holding them tightly. "I'll be back."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Miriam said, standing next to Sarah and ripping her hands from Puck's.

"Take care, okay?" Puck told Sarah, doing his best to smile. "I'll see you real soon." Sarah nodded, her lower lip quivering. She lunged for Noah before he could get up, the two sharing a tight embrace. When Puck let her go he got to his feet, meeting his mother's steely gaze. She stared him down, and he couldn't help but feel an inch small as the woman who gave him life stared at him so coldly. He bit his tongue, wanting to tell her off, but he knew it wouldn't help matters any. It wouldn't change her mind. So he simply turned on his heel and left, his backpack weighing heavily on his shoulder as it was filled to the brim with the only possessions he had left in the world.

As the door slammed shut behind him he let out the breath he realized he'd been holding since he turned his back on his mom. He felt a tear trickle down, but he quickly wiped it away, not wanting to waste any tears on that woman. He quickly got to his truck and threw his bag inside, starting it up and driving off, not even looking back at the house he grew up in. Half an hour later he realized he had no idea where he was going. Worse still, there was no one he could call, no one who he believed would care that he got kicked out, no one to offer him shelter for the night.

He pulled over on the side of the dusty, deserted country road he'd somehow driven to, slamming his foot angrily on the brakes. The weight of what just happened fell on him all at once, and he started hitting the steering wheel angrily, kicking the truck's floor as he let out a harsh, throaty yell. He then began to cry, the tears streaming down his face no matter how fast he tried to wipe them away. He sobbed uncontrollably, lamenting his poor position in life; to be gay and to have a parent who not only didn't approve but kicked him out. He wished it were different. He wished he could at least have someone to comfort him now, but he'd alienated everyone close to him. So he kept crying alone in his car, eventually drifting into an uneasy sleep. The next thing he knew it was morning.

A/N: Sad? Sad. Like the title says, it's not always like the movies. Or in this case, it's not always like TV. Burt has always been so supportive and proud of Kurt, but not all parents are like that, and I feel like sometimes Glee does a lot to gloss over that. Don't get me wrong, they have the situation at school down, what with the bullying and the saddest near-suicide ever on TV with Karofsky in 'On My Way'. But for all the issues they tackle, they don't really show any adults who are vehemently, angrily, irrationally homophobic. All we have is Principal Figgins, who is enough of a caricature already, who is mildly homophobic. There's no one there who would actually kick out their child for being gay. So, for dramatic purposes, and also to show a different side to the Glee family, I made one up. And now you all hate me. Just remember, a dozen or so chapters ago you all hated Puck and wanted to lynch him. Now we all feel sorry for him, non? My plan is working. I'm getting under your skin and into your head…bwahahaha.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.