July 13th 1918,
Dear Enjolras,
It has been good hearing from you, I have missed your letters, and reading them in what I think is your voice more than I thought I would have and it brings me great joy to have you reply. I did not visit you because I thought that was best. However if that has resulted in a change to your feelings towards me then so be it. I do not understand why it would, in the exact same way you fail to understand why I chose not to visit you. However, I am not here to change your mind, I do not have the time, nor the energy, as there are bigger issues in Paris right now.
Enjolras, things are bad, no, not just bad, things are horrible, worse than I could have ever imagined. Do you know that I've read almost every book in your apartment? One of my absolute favourites was The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio. You remember it yes? All those characters who flee the Plague for the safety of the mountains? I feel as if it is happening again. Not quite the plague as we remember it, but something else, and it is killing everything in it's path. I know you think I am exaggerating but trust me when I say this, I believe it is safer on the front then it is here in Paris.
I remember a few months ago, Azelma came home confused saying that a few of the men in the hospital had died from what they thought was just a fever. I told her that they were unlucky, that sometimes strange events like this occur but this was not a once off. This is an epidemic. No one knows where it came from, but after talking with officials and listening to what Azelma and Joly had to say, this disease seems to have come from soldiers, therefore it must be rampant on the front. Have you heard of anything like this?
Azelma brought masks home for us all to wear it is that bad. She says that men arrive, and it seems as if they have nothing more than the common cold however, before long they are coughing so hard their insides bleed and they turn blue, so blue one cannot even tell what skin colour they had previously, and then they die. It seems like a horrid way to die. According to Joly, they are running out of space to bury bodies, currently they are being stored in a back room of the hospital, and disease is probably festering. They are talking of closing schools and theatres, which makes me want to convert the living room into a school for the students in the building, but I do not even know what I would be able to teach, though I am sure Courfeyrac would be a fantastic teacher.
Oh Enjolras, I believe this is the first time I have written this all year but I am scared, in fact, I am beyond scared, I am terrified. I have never felt more insecure, in more danger before in my life, I cannot relax, I am living in fear and I hate it. What is going on in this world? Is this some sort of prelude to the apocalypse, that is all it could possibly be and everyone else agrees, the world is coming to an end. As if this war has not decimated the population and the world enough, now we have also been hit by what appears to be some sort of new plague which seems to be killing so many people. I am worried that soon there will be no one left. What happens when everyone is dead, what happens if I am the only person left? Are we being punished for the war, punished for our sins? What sins? Young children are dying, we are burying our children, the old are dying because that is natural and the rest of the men are being killed at this war.
Tell me Enjolras, who is left? Are you going to have anyone at home to return to because right now I do not think you will. Things are bad, everyone is dying and there is no medicine, no cure, we are forced to let this illness run it's course. Some people get better after a while, walk out of hospital live, but most are not so lucky. I spend most of my time wondering what we ever did to deserve this, no one deserves this.
I went back to the cafe last week, the owners welcomed me back and agreed to have me selling my products there. I am enjoying having a reason to bake again and selling my products but there are no familiar faces there. I mean, it has probably been well over a year since I last visited so perhaps I should not be so shocked but still. I cannot help but wonder where all these women went. It is nice meeting new faces though, and the atmosphere within the cafe itself has changed. It is rebellious, or dare I say even revolutionary?
People are not happy, but it is going beyond general unhappiness it is anger, raw anger. The people want you home, they want this war to be over, and they want Germany to pay the price for everything they have suffered. And when I hear them speak, with passion and fire in their eyes, for a few moments I feel like I am back at the Musain, watching you speak about equal education and social welfare, and I find myself agreeing with them. Germany, Austria and who ever else currently comprises the Axis power should pay for what they have done, these countries should not even be allowed to exist, they killed my brother, they destroyed our country. There is nothing they could ever do to make up for this.
I apologise for all the anger in this letter but things are so so bad here in Paris.
Eponine.
August 28th 1918,
Dear Eponine
I have killed just as many men (if not more) than the German man in sitting in the trench, writing a letter home to someone less than a kilometre away. In war, it is difficult to say who is evil when we are all responsible for killing so many people. I can tell you right now with complete certainty that I have killed someone's brother, I am responsible for the destruction of the countries which I have fought in, what will my punishment be? What would be appropriate according to you and your companions in the cafe?
Remember that there are people just like you in Germany and Austria. Yes, you have every right to be annoyed with how things have fared this war, but we all have every right to be annoyed, not just you. I have been fighting this war for years, I am partially deaf and have watched so many of my friends and companions die around me. I have been forced to kill people. Do you know how horrible it is to know that you took someone's life from them? Do you know how hard that is to live with? What should my punishment be, should it be what you want the Germans to suffer through? There are no innocent people in this war, we are all guilty, and that is something we all must lie with.
Though I must say that I am pleased you are going to the cafe, and I am even more pleased that the crowds are radicalising. This is necessary if we are to have any hopes of forcing an end to this war. The Germans are on the attack again, they seem stronger than ever and I just hope it is a last ditch effort to overwhelm us, and once they realise it will not work they will surrender. Sometimes that is all that keeps me going, the fact that this war cannot go on forever (I am working on repressing all knowledge of the Hundred Years war). Every morning I wake up, and I hope all day that today will be the day that this war it is what keeps me waking up and every night before I go to bed, I imagine that I will wake to a new world, to a world without this war.
And all this imagining has got me thinking, how will our world recover from this war? Without a doubt it will be changed forever. I feel as if all of us are going to wake to a world which we no longer recognise. So much has changed so quickly in the past four years. There have been so many developments even more so in this century, more than I could have ever imagined, and that is the problem. Our capabilities are now ahead of our imaginations, we cannot keep up with the developments around us, and we are paying severely for our deficiencies. I see it now, within the army we are using techniques and ideas which are ancient even though the technology we have before us is miles ahead. That is why this war has been such a magnificent disaster, it has been a tragedy of almost Grecian proportions. When man, so strong, so sure in it's technology and supremacy loses, that was how I viewed the Titanic, perhaps it is how I should view the decade as a whole. Even now, writing it down I realise that it is a tragedy, like something out of a story or from a play, so disastrous that once again, a human's imagination can not even comprehend it. This brings me to what you said regarding the disease out break in Paris.
Of course I have read the Decameron, I make it my business to know the classics. Perhaps if the disease is as bad as you claim it it, it is time for you to flee to Nice for disease is racing ahead of us, and our immune systems, what protects our bodies are too slow to catch up. Perhaps what you are witnessing in Paris is a reflection of the state of society today. However, if this is some sort of plague, it is the worst possible time to arrive as no one has the strength to withstand it anymore. No one has any energy left to fight. if I were to get this plague I do not think I would fight, I would close my eyes and let it claim me because I am tired of fighting and just surviving. Because what is surviving if you are never in the position to truly live again? Will I ever live again without the fear of bombs falling from the sky? Probably not. Therefore if I were to go to a protest, or go to a football game, will I be able to relax, will I be able to keep calm when a plane flies overhead? Will I be able to remain calm when plates fall from the top shelf? If not, then am I really living or am I surviving because as much as you do not believe me, there is a difference between the two.
In regards to whether this disease has reached us in the trenches, I cannot give you a definitive answer because people do not live long enough here to get diseases. Except for the men such as myself who I am beginning to believe are not actually men but rather, are cockroaches and rats, because nothing else could survive this long in these condition, it is that or I am immortal, but I feel as if immortality would be more enjoyable than this. There are many men who are sick here, most of us have permanent cold whilst others have infections in their ears and throats, we are living in the worst of conditions. However, no one has the set of symptoms you have describes, it seem as if for now, us soldiers have been spared
I never thought I would have to worry for your safety, after all, you are in Paris not a war zone.
Stay safe Eponine, and give my best wishes to Azelma, Courfeyrac and Joly.
Enjolras.
AN:Sorry for not updating, I have an exam tomorrow and am in the process of procrastinating as I have a crap ton of reading to do which I know I cannot finish by the exam. I saw the Melbourne production of Les Miserables this week and it was amazing. Feel free to head over to short-macchiato*tumblr*com i.e my username with the tumblr stuff at the end :)
I would like to thank the amazing clairlune who gave me the idea of actually writing about the Spanish Influenza, it was a fantastic idea which I had not yet thought of, so thank you very much.
Guest, thank you so much for such a lovely compliment, though I must let you know that my objective in writing this was to stick to writing a story solely in letters. I have three chapters left and they will all be written as letters, I hope you will enjoy it though :)
Isabelle, thank you for your kind words, I love that he is relying on those around him now, instead of Eponine, because ultimately Eponine will never understand what he went through but those men do. Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed this update.
Thank you for reading and a special thank you to everyone who reviewed, subscribed and favourited, words cannot describe how much I appreciate it.