Chapter 37

Behind The Mind's Eyes

A/N- Sorry for the delay in postings, I've been really tired lately and so I haven't done as much writing as I would have liked to. Plus I wasn't able to upload documents for the past two days because of a problem with my documents. It's resolved now but I'm still annoyed by it. Rest assured I am working to amend my delays that I can control.

The hit count has gone up again so I'll only reiterate that the review count needs to go up since it hasn't changed this entire week (but again this only affects those of you who haven't reviewed/given feedback before).

I am happy that so many people are enjoying my Obi-Wan series "Somewhere Out There" so far. I hope that anyone reading both stories will let me know what they think of the linking I've done so far (there isn't much so far but I'm working on that as well). Chapter four of "Somewhere" is now up too!! ^_^

Thanks for reading and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE "NAMESAKE TRILOGY" OC POLL ON MY PROFILE!!! (Thanks to the two voters who already did). I added some new characters to reflect the new OCs in the story so that should add a little more to the range of choices.

Danke,

-Don =)

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Jaina had almost had a premature heart attack when she had heard that her father, Han Solo, might not make it in for the ceremony due to a problem with a prison break that had occurred some time ago. But Han did come in that morning, he was tired and run down, but he was there. She calmed somewhat but it seemed like stress was the theme of the day.

Zekk had the worst of it in Jaina's opinion. Peckhum, as Zekk's almost adoptive father, was angry that he'd been left out of the meeting of parents after Zekk had proposed. As a result, Peckhum had almost left Coruscant in a huff but Zekk, after an hour of arguing, convinced Peckhum that Zekk had simply been distracted by the simple fact that he'd proposed at all and that he had to repeat the fact to Jaina's parents. Peckhum, who was only upset over being left out of Zekk's life since the old freighter pilot had found out that Zekk was alive.

Once that was over, Zekk had to endure the impending pressure of the number of people Leia had invited on the Solo side of the family and that he didn't know more than half of them by name or face.

Now with only an hour to the actual ceremony, Zekk found himself pacing in the room set aside for him to get ready. He gulped and tried practicing his response but nothing seemed to formulate correctly. He was now outright inarticulate. Fuck, I'm so not ready. He thought. The door opened, startling Zekk and then he relaxed when he saw the brown robed form of Anakin Solo. Because of his hair color, Jaina had decided Anakin should wear brown instead of green. Tahiri, of course, was wearing green to compliment his brown.

"You're a little on edge," Anakin noted as he walked in, pausing to readjust his own tie. Zekk groaned.

"I don't need reminding, Anakin," He said, raising eyes from their focus on the floor. Anakin shook his head.

"I was kidding, Zekk. I'm confident that you love my sister and that's enough for me to know that you're going to be okay," Anakin clapped Zekk on the shoulder and then leaned over as he lowered his voice so only Anakin and Zekk could hear. "Between you and me, she's probably more nervous than you are."

Zekk frowned at the comment, "I highly doubt that but thanks." Anakin nodded with a familiar grin. Zekk often wondered what it would have been like if Anakin and Jaina had been twins and Jacen had been the youngest. It was a strange sentiment, worth pursuing, just not right now.

"What about you?" Zekk asked, stopping Anakin as he headed back towards the door. Anakin turned, paused to think for a second and then shook his head.

"I was nervous but I realized a while ago that I loved Tahiri too much to care if it showed or not," Anakin smiled and gave a wink before exiting the room. Zekk thought for a moment, and then slowly a smile crossed his face.

As if to prove a point, the wedding went as smoothly as weddings could go. Luke, at the request of Jaina and Zekk, was the one who married them.

"Do you, Zekk Zahn, take Jaina Solo to be your lawfully wedded partner under the force?"

"Why do you think I'm standing here?" He answered before realizing he didn't have to respond that way and improvised by nodding, "I do."

"Do you, Jaina Solo-" Luke began but Jaina cut him off too. With Jedi being married it was hard not to jump over pieces when you could sense what the person marrying you was going to say.

"Yeah, I do," She lifted her brow at Zekk, who seemed stunned by her abrupt response. Just following your tune, Zekk.

I noticed, He mused as Luke finished, "Then with the force I pronounce you-" He began but Jaina and Zekk had already skipped right to the kissing part so Luke just shrugged with a smile and then clapped a hand on his niece and now nephew in law's shoulders.

"I hope you two can actually finish your ceremony," Leia commented to Anakin and Tahiri, who were seated next to Leia and Han in the audience. Anakin exchanged a curious look with Tahiri, who shrugged.

"We'll try," Anakin replied, and received a snort of laughter from Han, who was clearly enjoying the idea of the ceremony being so short. He hated formalities, including his own wedding, aside from being married to Leia, Han hadn't much relished the idea of having to dress up and march down an aisle of any kind.

"I think I'm going to like having Zekk as a son in law, he's a real scoundrel," Han folded his arm across his chest in clear approval of Zekk's antics. Leia glared at her husband. Anakin and Tahiri took that as their cue to follow everyone else out of the Jedi Temple where the wedding had taken place. Besides the entire Solo and Skywalker families, all the Jedi were in attendance from Yavin 4 and the rest of the galaxy. Kirk and Natie sat in the back, Kirk in his usual Jedi garb and Natie fashioned her own wedding appropriate slacks and shirt.

The rest of the Jedi sat on the far side of the temple. Kyp Durron, Corran Horn and Mirax Horn, Kennth Hammer, and the other primary Jedi Masters sat towards the front of the rows. The younger Jedi Knights including Tenel Ka and her two children with Yuuna and a robed Vua Rapuung, Raynor Thul, and other young Jedi Knights from Jaina's academy days were all in attendance. It was nostalgic to see them all there, and Jaina had felt some pang of guilt that she wasn't able to share it with Jacen. He would have liked to have seen everyone from when they were trainees at Luke Skywalker's academy.

She gave a small sigh that could only be heard by one person. Zekk reached over and grasped her hand. "Hey, he's probably throwing a bash to celebrate wherever he is."

Jaina smiled at Zekk's attempt to cheer her up, "You know, don't you?" She said, giving him a sadly knowing look. Zekk nodded, understanding where Jaina's thoughts were going.

"He's not here anymore, right? His ghost talked to me for a while, but he's gone now." By the end she wasn't even questioning the fact.

"Jacen Solo is gone, but I happen to know where his force presence went," Zekk answered calmly and almost wistfully. "You'll always be close together."

Jaina gazed into his green eyes questioningly and then decided to let things lie when Zekk didn't elaborate. Instead her ears picked up the argument of her parents that was already brewing. Oh, force, here we go again.

"Han, this is a wedding, you're not supposed to interrupt it," She shook her head.

"Aw, come on, Princess," Han protested, almost pouting like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I wanted this to be special, not a joke, "She said firmly. Han sighed and then gestured with his head to where Jaina was standing, a broad smile on her face. "Take a look at how unhappy Jaina is."

Leia looked over just as Jaina turned her own head, raising an eyebrow in question at her parents. Leia had to relent. "She looks happy enough." Han brought his arm around Leia's shoulders.

"I don't know if that quite covers the feeling I'm getting," Han said with his famous grin. Leia scrutinized her husband carefully.

"Are you turning Jedi on me this late in the game?" Leia arched her brow. Han gasped in mock horror and leaned back his chair, pointing a finger at himself.

"Who me?" He laughed with his usual confidence, "Nah, I've just got the instincts of a smuggler," He smirked, "A good blaster at your side beats having a lightsaber."

"So I've heard," Han turned to find Luke standing there with a serious look on his face and his arms folded across his chest. "You mind telling me why Jaina and Zekk couldn't let me finish the vows?" Leia was about to reply but she noted that the expression in Luke's eyes was one of amusement not annoyance.

"Let them have their fun, Luke," Han said, though he too knew that Luke wasn't being serious. It was just nice to have all the children together for a change, and have them smiling at something rather than trying to struggle to fight it out. The feeling was apparently mutual because Leia sighed and then smiled at her brother and then stood up.

"I've got to get going to set things up for the party," Leia shot a look at Han, "This time I'd like to have things go as planned." She then walked out of the Temple, leaving Han and Luke to exchange glances and then Han shrugged.

"She's got her priorities, what am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing," Luke said with a laugh. "Leia doesn't budge when she's like this."

Han gave a gruff laugh, "Don't I know it. I've been married to her, if you haven't noticed."

Luke gave a heartfelt laugh, "Oh, I noticed alright. Even before you two finally admitted it."

Han jawed for a minute, "Hey, you didn't exactly go right for the kill with Mara either."

"That's because he would have died in the process," A warm but naturally edgy voice said from behind. Luke shrugged as Mara appeared at Luke's shoulder with a stern look in her eyes. She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"And what do we find so funny and secretive, I'm so dying to know," Mara looked from Han to Luke and back again but then laughed. "I see some of us will never grow up." She then grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him away to where Ben was waiting at the entrance to the Temple.

"I resent that remark!" Han called but they were already gone.

Miko raised his head slightly and then barely had the time to duck as laser grazed the hairs on the top of his head.

"Kriff," He muttered and let loose a string of shots. Matek was already out in the open. Frontal combat was Matek's specialty with blasters and the smuggler wasn't anywhere close to being an amateur either. Matek rolled into a kneeling position and shot two clear shots into the skulls of his enemies. Miko then took the distraction as his chance to leap from behind the rubble with his lightsaber drawn. With two clean strokes, he felled the remaining enemies.

As he shut down his blade, Miko glanced down that the dark armor. "I knew this was bad." He lifted his comlink. "I really didn't want to call in the favor, but it looks like I haven't got a choice."

He nodded to Matek, who swiftly fired the finishing shots into the bodies before they all lay completely still.

As if Leia had willed it herself, everyone showed up on time for the party and no one, according to Han's terminology "turned up uninvited."

As the band played their opening music, Jaina stepped into the center and used the force to amplify the volume of her voice. "Welcome to everyone from over the galaxy. To Members of the New Republic, Jedi Order, and to those coming from all over the galaxy, we thank you all for coming to celebrate this day with us." Jaina sighed inwardly: her mother had insisted that Jaina make a formal welcome speech for the sake of the representatives that had come from all over the galaxy. Jaina briefly wondered if the representatives had come simply for the sake of being welcomed to events like weddings.

"Thank you all again for coming and now I would like for Han Solo to please come to the center of the dance floor," Jaina smiled. Despite what some might think of her personality, she had looked forward to the time when she'd get to do a father and daughter dance. Han walked over to the dance floor. Since the ballroom was fancy, it didn't have a designated center but the tables had formed a semblance of one.

Zekk watched Jaina dance with her father with a smile on his face. It was nice to see her so relaxed for a change. She might not have shown it outwardly to anyone else, but Zekk knew, even without the force or looking at Jaina's face, that this was a hard moment for her. There would be another dance with Anakin, and then with Zekk. He was sure that Jaina, who probably wouldn't even admit it to herself, wanted to have a dance with Jacen too. Zekk could only hope that the thought of missing her twin wouldn't crush Jaina on a day that was supposed to be joyous rather than pain filled.

"I think your brother wants his turn," Han said with a glance over at Anakin, who was sitting at the table talking with Tahiri, but had stolen a few glances of his own towards the center of the dance floor. Han grinned, "It's okay if you want him to cut in."

"I hope so," Jaina said with an equally 'Solo-ish' grin. "I wouldn't put it past Anakin to purposely lose in a fight."

"Who said he had to purposely lose?" Han asked defensively. Jaina let go of Han and gave him a knowing nod.

"Go sit down, Dad," She said in a bemused tone. Han huffed, still wearing a mock injured look, which eventually changed as he gave Jaina a kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun, okay?" Han then went to sit down where he was now introduced to several newly elected members of the New Republic Council by Leia. Han inwardly groaned. After so many years, he'd gotten used to not having to attend formal meetings but now he had to listen to political banter at his daughter's wedding. I'm getting up the minute there's cake, He thought, knowing it was a good excuse to get away from the discussions.

Anakin had already begun his dance with Jaina and had sensed her unease long before the party, now it was only more obvious. Though he knew that it was best to let things lie since Jaina seemed to be handling thing well enough on her own.

"You know, don't you?" Jaina said, catching Anakin's blue eyes as they wandered for a moment. He focused his attention on Jaina.

"That you wish Jacen was here?" Anakin asked gently, "I know because I feel the same way. Only the force really would know why he wouldn't be." He glanced over at Zekk, who was carefully trying to look like he wasn't watching Jaina but to she and Anakin it was blatantly obvious that he was.

"Zekk really cares about you, you know," Anakin said, giving a small nod in Zekk's direction, to which Zekk blinked, realizing that Anakin had found out that Zekk's supposed inconspicuous spying.

Jaina raised her brow and then lowered it as she smiled, "I know."

Anakin nodded his head to Zekk, who nodded in understanding before starting over to where the brother and sister were dancing, "Then you should let him in to help you. It's only worse when you try to shoulder these things on your own."

Jaina tried to get a feel for Anakin's own feelings on the subject but as usual Anakin's mental and emotional barriers were far stronger than anything Jaina had ever faced. "You're still hurt over it too." Jaina pointed out. Anakin shrugged as Zekk stopped next to Jaina's shoulder.

"I'm used to being hurt, you're not," Anakin said, his voice pausing naturally to make the clear distinction between his two statements. Jaina watched as Anakin walked back to his table where Tahiri was waiting and immediately began asking him a number of questions. Jaina decided it was best to let Tahiri handle Anakin's stubbornness since the younger woman was much better at it than Jaina ever had been. Jaina's specialty had been reading Jacen's thoughts not Anakin's.

Zekk lightly touched Jaina's arm and brought his arms around her waist, "I don't plan to let this get you down, at least for now you're only allowed to smile." He grinned mischieviously at Jaina, who frowned for a second before laughing at the simple ridiculousness of what Zekk was saying.

"For now," She agreed and then leaned on his shoulder. After a few minutes others began to join the newly wedded couple on the dance floor. Han and Leia were one of the first and the other Jedi slowly followed. Jaina was amused by the sight of Raynor and Lusa dancing since she took up quite a bit of space on her own, but she couldn't tell if it was funnier that Raynor couldn't seem to stop blushing furiously or that he couldn't keep a steady dancing beat.

Wynn turned her head in surprise as James stood timidly in front of her. "Do you… um, want to dance?" He asked, smiling to hide his own embarrassment. Wynn nodded and quickly got over her surprise and followed James to the dance floor. After a few minutes of James' clear show of dancing skills: his well timed footsteps and his graceful twirling of his partner. Wynn finally decided to ask the question that had been on her mind since he'd asked her to dance.

"Okay, spill, where did you learn to dance?" Wynn asked, giving James a suspiciously humored look. He arched his dark eyebrows.

"I had a sister, a brother who doesn't know how to dance with his sister is an embarrassment," James stated plainly. Wynn looked confused and wrinkled her nose the strange statement.

"Who taught you that one?" She asked. James smiled with some bemusement to himself and some to Wynn as his smile turned wry.

"My sister."

"Aha, yay!" Valin ducked under a table and then scurried across the dance floor before hiding once more behind another table. An exhausted Tenel Ka followed, sighing after her overly energetic son. He had enough energy to blow the entire planet of Coruscant off its hinges with one burst.

"Hee, hee, wah!" Valin ran smack into the legs of a tall bothan dressed in his formal military attire. Tenel Ka came at a run, her training of late had paid off. She scooped Valin up and bowed apologetically at the bothan officer.

"I apologize for my son," Tenel Ka said. The bothan smiled and ruffled Valin's hair. Leia turned her head to look at the bothan as he regarded Valin with interest.

"Not at all, Your Majesty, I'm quite fond of children myself," Leia crossed over, as the realization of who the young bothan officer was.

"Colonel Iblis, it's an honor to have you here, I wasn't sure if you were coming," Leia said, extending her hand. Tenel Ka turned to look at Leia in confusion.

"My apologies, Queen Tenel Ka Djo," The bothan said, inclining his head. "I didn't introduce myself. I'm Colonel Gallender Jesek Bel Iblis," He bowed to Tenel Ka and then did likewise to Leia. "It's an honor to meet two of my father's most well respected leaders and friends."

Tenel Ka gazed at the bothan, whose penetrating dark blue eyes rotated in their sockets to look at her in turn. "Oh, yes, my father has spoken quite highly of you, Your Highness, he says your ascension was one of the greatest changes in the Hapan Colonies to happen in many years."

Tenel Ka felt herself grow embarrassed but she managed to use the force to calm herself and keep herself from blushing fervently at the sudden barrage of compliments. As the son of the famed war general, Garm Bel Iblis, Gallender was fairly young as well as seasoned in his military experiences. It was hard to imagine that a bothan could have respect for the Hapan Queen in such a short amount of time of her rule.

"I have heard of your loss, my sincerest condolences," Gallender said, his blue eyes empathetic to both Leia and Tenel Ka. He looked down at Valin and then back up at his mother. "To grow up without one of your parents is most unfortunate. You have my support, if you need anything, I shall be ready to offer my services." He gave a stiff formal bow to Tenel Ka who responded with a formal nod.

She let her strain evaporate long enough to offer a response, "I thank you for your offer, Colonel Iblis," Tenel Ka felt Valin's arms on her arms as they waved frantically in an attempt to break free once more to the freedom of running through the party's tables. "I am grateful for any support you may offer." She then nodded as she placed Valin down on the ground. No sooner had she done so than the little two year old was off, his arms spread in a mock airplane gesture and making zooming noises through his teeth.

"Dahahahahahaha!" He dove under a tray of trays that a waiter was carrying and then skidded to a stop in front of another set of feet. This time the gentle hands that scooped him up were more familiar. The brown haired man gave a nod to Tenel Ka that she understood as 'Go talk, I'll watch Valin.' With a grateful smile in the direction of the icy blue eyed man, she turned back to talk to Iblis, who had taken a great interest in talking about the recent changes in Hapan politics.

"Is it true that you have reformed the government to include a Jedi Council?" Gallender asked, his night sky blue eyes widening in excitement.

"Yes, as I am a Jedi and Jacen was too, we decided it would be proper to include Jedi in the governmental decisions." She noted to herself that she had neglected to mention who Jacen was but the bothan seemed not to notice.

"I have heard that you now have temples built all over Hapes as well," Gallender asked with a natural curiosity that Tenel Ka found strange in a bothan.

"Many Temples have been built, there is also one next to the palace," Tenel Ka said plainly. She had had so many negative responses to the changes she'd made on Hapes that this was a nice change in tune.

"Fascinating, simply incredible that such changes would come about," Gallender said, shaking his head in admiration. "I quite admire your efforts, Your Highness, they are something to be proud of."

Tenel Ka nodded, now prepared for the bothan's generous nature, "I thank you for your compliments on behalf of my family and my people."

Anakin watched Tenel Ka continue to talk with Colonel Iblis while Anakin occupied himself with sitting Valin in Anakin's lap and letting the small boy play with his lightsaber. Since Valin's grip wasn't quite defined, there wasn't a risk of the boy turning the blade on. Tahiri came back to the table and watched as Anakin showed Valin the different parts of the lightsaber. There was a natural feeling about Anakin when he spent time with Valin and Rose. It was as though he was already connected with the two children in ways that Tahiri couldn't even begin to understand. As he played with Valin's hands, moving them to the beat of the song, the boy began to laugh.

"Anakin funny!" He squealed. Tahiri had to shake her head at that. Sometimes it was unbelievable how many hidden talents Anakin Solo had, even Tahiri didn't grasp the surface of his capacity. Maybe that was why the kids found comfort in Anakin's presence: they too had untapped potential and Anakin, more than anyone, understood the difficulties that came with the weight of strength in powers like the force.

Tahiri turned as Anakin caught her eye, a thoughtful as well as inquisitive look in his ice blue eyes. If there was a subtext, Tahiri barely got the gist of it from his expression but she shrugged in response. He smiled in a knowing way, she knew he'd elaborate later, or at least she hoped he would. Because right now she was confused by the apparent significance of the look he'd given her.

Natie sighed and finally turned to Kirk, who had been watching the dance floor with a look of apprehension. She stood up and motioned for him to do the same.

"Come on, Kirk, you've been staring at the dance floor for too long, let's go," She held out her hand, amused that she was the one who had to make the move to ask him to dance and not the other way around.

"I don't feel like it," Kirk said, averting his gaze to his plate, which had long been empty since the dinner course had been served. Natie grabbed his arm but he remained glued to his seat.

"Why not?" She questioned, folding her arms across her chest as if in defiance of his response. He twitched slightly before answering.

"I… don't know how to dance," He lowered his gaze to his knees but he looked up when Natie grasped his hand in hers.

"You don't need to know how to dance to enjoy a little music, come on," She finally heaved him to his feet, which he attempted to drag but eventually relented to her enthusiastic strides towards the center of the dance floor. She stopped and Kirk stood with some unease but Natie's confidence seemed to erase any further opposition he posed to dancing.

"Here," She took his hands and placed them on her waist and then put her own arms around his neck. "It's easy, just try to listen to the music and move when you feel the general beat."

Kirk moved slightly at each sound but still didn't quite get a feel for what he was supposed to be listening for. Natie smiled. "Don't try so hard. It'll come if you just let it."

For some reason, his mouth curled into a grin at that. "What?" She questioned as he continued to grin at her.

"Nothing, you just reminded me of my Jedi training lessons just now," He then used the force to sense the motions of the musicians and in turn his own movements were now moving with the beat.

Natie caught his brief moment of distance through his eyes and frowned, "Using the force to learn how to dance is cheating."

Kirk raised an eyebrow, "Says who?"

"Everyone," Natie stated flatly. Kirk didn't buy it and continued to smile with amusement. He knew that she wasn't annoyed about the force use, he knew what where her real irritation came from and he didn't plan on letting her grump about it.

"Even the Jedi?" He asked. She lightly pushed him with a deep seated scowl. "Fed up with me already?"

"No, you just seem to enjoy manipulating the things you know annoy me the most," Natie grumbled. Kirk laughed and continued to use the force to feel the music as he twirled Natie around.

"Am I?" Kirk questioned, his tone indicating his mock disbelief. Natie grunted and as she was about to respond she caught the side of a familiar face.

"Jag Fel?" Natie dropped her hands and stood in shock at the sight of the young man as he turned around.

"Ah, Natie Renders, correct? It's a small galaxy, it seems," Jag noticed Kirk and the Chiss born human inclined his head.

"Kirk Dekim, I'm surprised you haven't vanished off the galaxy's radar once more. My father had quite a lot of trouble finding you in the past decade."

"That was intentional," Kirk said, his tone unusually humored on the subject. Natie noted this and glanced at Kirk for a moment before turning back to face Jag.

"So, how are you connected to Jaina and Zekk?" Natie asked. Jag's posture remained militarily formal as he clasped his hands behind his uniform clad back. The Chiss insignia on his collar indicated his rank as a high class officer.

"I mentioned briefly that there was someone I was unable to dissuade of her own guilt," Jag briefly turned his eyes in Jaina's direction as she slow danced with Zekk. "That person was Jaina Solo. We were part of the same squadron during the Yuuzhan Vong War."

Natie's interest grew, "Really? You two seem like polar opposites to me. I'm surprised you didn't end up killing each other."

Jag's lip curled in a wry smile, "The thought crossed both our minds but only for a short time."

Natie whistled, "That's change for you."

Jag nodded, "So it would seem," He cast another glance in Jaina's direction. Despite his first impressions of her, Jag could no more deny that he actually admired Jaina for her courage through a time of tragedy than he could deny that he had the blood of the Chiss running in his veins. Though one couldn't tell from looking at him, Jag maintained his Chiss heritage and traditions whenever possible.

"You wouldn't happen to know Jag, would you, Kirk?" Natie asked, turning her head, only to see that Kirk wasn't there anymore. Her smile faded and a concerned frown replaced it as she noticed Kirk in back near the doors to the ballroom, his brow furrowed and his eyes dark as he talked into his comlink in a low tone.

"Go, I am sure we'll have time to converse later," Jag said with a sharp inclination of his head at Natie. She gave Jag a grateful nod and ran over to where Kirk was standing, his comlink in hand. His knuckles were white as he clenched the device between his fingers.

"Kirk?" Natie ventured after a few moments of silence between them. His eyes had the same look that she'd come to recognize as his 'grim news and Jedi business' expression. She frowned at him.

"You're not taking off again, not now," She said firmly. Kirk turned his head slightly to look at Jaina, who was laughing and chatting with a group of young Jedi that Kirk could feel had strong presences through the force. He knew that their lives as Jedi were only beginning, it was a feeling that Kirk had had at one point but lost somewhere along the road. Where, Kirk didn't even remember at this point.

"So you're just going to leave," Natie said coldly, her eyes boring into Kirk's, "After everything you've done to change your life, you're just going to go back to the person you were before."

Kirk narrowed his eyes at that comment, "I stopped feeling guilty about my previous life so I could start a new one, Natie. But I never stopped being a Jedi. I'll always be one regardless of whether or not I act on my force potential." He looked over at Luke Skywalker, who was busy trying to keep tabs on his son, Ben, but had little success.

"Because I have the abilities needed to protect the galaxy as we know it, I have to. There's no such thing as never being responsible for what goes on around us. There won't ever be a time when we don't have to be involved because by being alive, we already are a part of the galaxy we were born in."

Natie sighed, "So, I'm not going to be able to convince you that whatever it is you're planning to rush off to, can wait?"

Kirk looked almost sadly at the party but nodded solemnly, "No, it can't. I have a debt to Miko and he found something that could cause a threat to his entire crew and anyone who saw what Miko found."

Natie's eyes found themselves both thoughtful as well as hesitant as they gazed at Kirk, "You mean they found something they weren't supposed to."

Kirk nodded, "That's the basic idea, yes." He glanced over his shoulder and then fingered his lightsaber. It was clear from his expression that Kirk hadn't felt this uneasy in a long time because he almost looked scared, which Kirk never was, not since Natie had met him anyways.

"Then I'll come with you. Two fighters are better than one," She stated. He turned sharply so that he was looking straight into Natie's eyes and he grasped her shoulders tightly as he spoke.

"No, it's bad enough that I'm going to see this, I'll be targeted for it like Miko is," Kirk said firmly and then slowly let his hands slide down to his sides. There was clearly a misgiving about his words because Kirk didn't walk away after he was done making his statement. Natie placed her own hands on Kirk's shoulders when he still didn't move.

"Kirk, I know you don't like the idea of me coming with you, but if we're both in two different places, it'll be hard for us to even start to make the differences I know you want to make. You have to learn to trust that other people know how to handle things as well as you do," Natie tried to peer into Kirk's eyes but he turned his head. "Please, don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about."

Kirk returned her gaze finally, "I do. But you have to understand the things I know from experience," His voice became strained as well as stern, "Natie, these types of situations are the ones that caused me to lose every single one of my fellow Jedi in the covert ops. Except for three," Kirk glanced over his shoulder at Corran Horn, who was staring blankly into space.

"He joined later on," Kirk explained as Natie followed his gaze. "That's the only reason he's not dead. The other two… well, you've met Miko. The other," Kirk's eyes flicked away from Corran, who seemed to not notice that his beer glass had been empty for a while. "He was arrested for treason by the Chiss."

Natie flinched at that, "You two don't get along anymore, do you?"

Kirk shrugged, "Seeing as he didn't mind stabbing me in the back, I'd say a little prison time won't hurt him." He then sighed before he continued, "Look, my point is, I've lead a messed up life until recently. Even now, I'm still tainted. It's not something I'm proud of." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, "But you have to trust me when I tell you that the four of us only survived because we were returning blows worse than we received.

"All those who died were probably the ones who could have led a different life afterwards. A life untainted by killing innocent people or using brutal methods. The good and naïve always end up dead."

An explosive sound of wild laughter rang through the ballroom as Valin ran around in excited circles on the dance floor. Anakin stood watching to make sure the two year old didn't hurt himself in his antics but otherwise Anakin simply talked with a sense of relaxation to Tahiri.

Natie grimaced inwardly. So that was the core of Kirk's fears, he thought she was so naïve and good hearted that she was going to end up killed because of it. If she hadn't known Kirk better, she might have taken it as an insult but she knew him well enough by now to realize that he was only saying that because it was true. Natie had shown that she was willing to do things that weren't practical in terms of preserving her life over preserving her morality. Hence what happened in the Chiss prison, because of her decisions, her brothers ended up dead and Kirk was left with some of the guilt because of it.

"If I have to run, I'll run," Natie said confidently, Kirk shook his head.

"No, you won't. I know you won't. If someone was dying and it was a choice between leaving that person and running from the battle, you'd help them."

Natie looked at Kirk with a deep scowl now, "Wouldn't you?"

Kirk sighed, "For me, it's different."

Natie blinked, "How is it different? You wouldn't save them?"

Kirk looked almost pained as he continued, "I'm more willing to do anything to save the person, even if that means destroying every last piece of my morality or simply dying in the process." A stone cold silence fell between Natie and Kirk for a while. The music stopped and everyone clapped before it started up again.

"You wouldn't do that now, would you?" Natie questioned tentatively. He didn't respond. "Tell me, would you?"

Kirk looked at her with clear sadness in his eyes, "If it was you dying, and I had to make the choice… I would do whatever I had to." Natie averted her eyes. Now she knew why Kirk hadn't wanted her to come with him. He wasn't sure if he could keep himself in check if the worst should happen. But there was still something clawing at the back of her mind, a feeling that told her that Kirk wasn't quite aware of how much his morals had changed or how his heart had changed for that matter. She wasn't even sure how she knew, but she did.

"I won't let that happen," Natie said, "And you wouldn't brutally kill someone just to save my life."

"You don't know that," Kirk said, his voice cold with his own self resentment.

"Neither do you," Natie countered, "So what's it going to be? Are we or aren't we in this together." She paused, considering for a moment not finishing her statement but then gave Kirk a long stare before she did, "Or not at all."

Kirk didn't question that she was serious, he felt it. He knew Natie wouldn't joke about those kinds of things. So he finally let himself nod. "We are, but I don't feel like I should be letting you do this."

Natie swatted him on the back. "It's not your choice to make if you want us to be together."

Kirk sighed, taking one more look behind him before the two of them disappeared from the party and made their way to Kirk's small fighter that he'd borrowed while Blue Rain was in the process of being returned to him. He could only hope that Natie didn't think she would be immune to the same attacks that were sure to follow their viewing of Miko's findings. Because Kirk knew he himself wouldn't be.

There was definitely something wrong with Miko's discovery and Kirk knew it.

As night fell, the party ended and as everyone headed home, Once at his apartment, Anakin finally felt the stale sensation that had been hidden by the mass of people at the party.

He paused, sensing through the force the clear feeling of tension that flowed through the air. Something was causing the force to almost stammer in its natural flow. What, though, he couldn't tell. He frowned as he looked up at the night sky.

"Anakin?" Tahiri questioned, coming up behind him as he stood on their tiny balcony. "What's wrong?"

He frowned, shaking his head, "I don't know. I just have this really bad feeling that there's something going on that we should be helping to prevent but I don't know what it is."

Tahiri brought her arms around him and he put his arm around her shoulders in response. "It's the same, isn't it? As when you sensed Xillanor was doing something."

Anakin nodded, "I'm not sure it's him exactly, though." He searched through the force, trying to nab a clue but nothing came up except a faint whisper through the force. With a sharp shake of his head, he put the message from his mind. It couldn't be that. But what if it was?

Then, Anakin decided with a grimace, we've got a problem.

Valin stirred and then woke with a wail. Tenel Ka sat up and immediately went to her son, cradling him in her arms, sending calming feelings through the force that Valin seemed to be completely oblivious to. She sighed, knowing that there weren't very many things that could calm Valin when Tenel Ka didn't know the source of whatever was bothering him. There was also the chance that it was simply Valin's confusion over a dream. There were many possibilities of what could upset a two year old as the young mind was too fragile and undeveloped to make sense of the things an older child or teenager might.

Tenel Ka felt out with the force, but was unable to pinpoint where Valin's mind was at the moment. His thoughts were so scattered that it was a wonder that the toddler seemed to understand the galaxy well enough for his age. She decided to improvise by rocking Valin back and forth but he continued to cry and as a result Rose awoke as well.

Tenel Ka sighed and then went over to pick up Rose in one arm and Valin the other. The two cried without any signal that they were going to stop any time soon. After a few minutes Tenel Ka began to hum, the tune came from an old lullaby from Hapes that Isolder used to sing when Tenel Ka was a baby. Isolder had always been the more care oriented of Tenel Ka's parents.

Valin paused in his sobs long enough to listen to the vibrations coming from Tenel Ka and his eyes began to droop. With her brother beginning to quiet, Rose began to drift off as well. Soon both were fast asleep in the arms of their exhausted mother. With a smile and a sigh of relief, the young Queen took her children to their respective beds and then went to her own, sinking into the soft mattress and pillows. Within minutes Tenel Ka was sleeping herself. The wonder of what set Valin's cries off pushed aside for the duration of the night.

Silently in the back of Valin's mind, a dream faded, a dream, that unbeknownst to him, was vision sent by the force.

A/N- Dun, dun, dun. Well, I'd write more but I'm completely wiped out from working all day. I was at work from nine am until later in the evening because of an event that I was volunteering at. So, I'm beyond exhausted right now. Anyways, thanks for reading and don't forget to review!! =)