Chapter 37: I all but Fell into It

I blinked a few times and everything was clear again. I was clutching the blankets in my hands, I saw Carlisle and my dad trying to get me out of what ever I was in. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to get rid of my screams; I could still hear them clear as day.

"Jasper" I gasped. I wanted him; he was the only one who could take my pain away. He was the only one who could help me right now.

Next thing I know my whole body is shaking so hard it felt like I was having a seizure, I was being pushed down onto the bed and I felt someone push me to my side and hold me down.

"Jasper!" I heard Carlisle shout.

"What's happening?" I heard my dad asked.

"Go get a wet cloth she's burning up" Carlisle told him.

I felt the bed shift and heard him run to the bathroom.

"Molly, Jasper's going to take the pain away. He's going to make you numb. For now" I heard Carlisle say.

I didn't miss the "for now" part. I didn't notice till then that I was screaming, when I opened my eyes I saw the whole family again around my bed I kept my stare on two people though, Jasper who was looking just how I felt, and Carlisle who was right there holding me on my side trying to calm me.

I felt a little wave of calmness wash over me, but it didn't do much. I only stopped screaming. The blankets slipped out of my hold and I was now just squeezing my fists as hard as I could. I'm sure it would start bleeding any second.

I had no control over my powers or over my shield. I felt cold hands pry my fingers loose quickly placing their hands there before I went into another spasm.

I looked down and saw it was Alice's hand now being gripped tightly in mine. I heard things shattering in the room, my explosive power being the strongest, was getting the best of me.

"It's not doing anything. Jasper you need to try harder!" Carlisle called to him.

Dad was there he was trying to get the fever down. I groaned out when a sharp pain ripped through my heart. It felt like I was dying.

"Touch her Jasper, you need contact with her, it'll make your powers work faster" I heard Alice say.

I felt another cold hand on my arm. Then the numbness came. But it wasn't enough; I knew it would never be enough.

When I opened my eyes again I saw him, over me, biting me, I screamed and tried my hardest to push him off, to get away. But he wouldn't budge.

I was trapped again, I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do.

While all this was happening I didn't know it was all in my head. I was fighting Carlisle trying to push him away while he tried to calm me. I was screaming and crying.

"Jasper" Carlisle said. Jasper had lost his hold on my arm when I started fighting. I had let go of Alice to try and get away.

I felt a cold hand on my cheek and I screamed, my scream was cut short when a the blissful numbness took over me, I almost fell asleep it was so inviting, I just wanted it to take everything I had, I wanted it to swallow me whole and never let me go. I didn't get that though, it was just enough to calm me, sort of like an anesthetics but without the sweet unconsciousness that should have fallowed. I knew this was all Jasper's doing and I thanked him for it.

"How long can you keep her like this?" Dad asked.

"Not long…the pain in her is too deep. I can try hold it until it lessens…but that's it" Jasper said keeping his hand on me.

"It's all I can ask for…I think I should take her away from here. I'll drive her down to south Dakota…you guys can find the bastard…phone me when you do, I don't care if I can't do it, I'll find a way to kill him." dad said placing the cold cloth on my forehead.

"No, I said when she wakes up she can make that decision. Besides I am not letting you take her. She needs our help right now, she needs us to be here for her" Carlisle said

"Look I know there are some things you guys can do for her that I can't…but I'm her father. It's not good for her to stay here" dad said getting off the bed.

"Let's talk about this downstairs…she needs to rest before she does anything anyways" Carlisle said.

"Jasper, stay here and keep her stable" he added and everyone else left.

I felt his hand slowly move away from my face and rest on top of my hand. I felt him take a sliver of the numbness away and I groaned feeling some of the horrible pain flood back in.

"No, Jasper please" were the only words i could get out.

"We need to deal with this Molly, I'm here. It's all right I wont let too much go. Just relax into it. We need to get past it…little by little" I took comfort in the fact he kept saying we, I was hoping that meant he would stay with me.

I couldn't explain why I trusted Jasper more then anybody else in this house. I never wanted him to leave. I felt like if he did I would surely die.

I opened my eyes (not really remembering when I closed them to begin with) slowly, my eye lids feeling like they weighed a ton probably brought on from the numbness.

I wished I had actually been sleeping then he wouldn't want to help me with this right now. I had been enjoying the nothingness I all but fell into.

"Don't be like that Molly, it'll be better when it's all resolved…as much as it can be…then you can move on with your life." He said knowing every little thing I was feeling. I almost let out a whimper when he said I can move on with my life. I maneuvered our hands so I was grasping his, I couldn't find my voice so I just shook my head hoping he understood that I couldn't move on with my life without him, he was my savior, I just couldn't.

HEY soooooooooo soooooooo sooooo sorry i haven't updated in AGES!!!!!! i am a terrible person/writer for putting all my stories on hold for so long i hope you guys can forgive me :( as for the question as to what happened with or where Edward is....well you'll just have to wait and see.... :P :D

XOXO