A/N: Hi! Wow... for once I actually don't have much to say... Well this is weird, LOL.
Thank to Cowgirl777, lilrocky80, Starlight Prime, AleryaLeveilli, and my guest reviewer Eliza for reviewing 35!
To Eliza: I'm so sorry you had a bad day, but I'm so happy my new chapter made you feel better! I'm pretty sure everybody feels that way about their family. You don't understand how amazing your reviews make me feel! I've had tears of joy multiple times! I can't thank you enough. Can't wait to hear from you again!
Disclaimer: As always; nope.
LUCY'S P.O.V.
I wake up the next morning feeling awful again. I carefully turn over to look at Caspian and see him still asleep. I smile; he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. I push a stray strand of hair out of his face and he doesn't wake so I guess he's still in a pretty deep sleep and then I run my fingers down his cheek lightly; I've been trying to convince him to grow a beard again, one like he had on the Dawn Treader; just a little scruff, but I like it.
I lay here watching him and a few minutes later he stirs a little, his eyes opening sleepily. "Morning…" The corners of his mouth tug upwards in a smile.
"Happy birthday, Caspian, I love you." I smile back at him despite the fact that I get a sudden wave of nausea.
"I love you too. Are you okay Lucy?" He can read me like a book.
"I'm still not feeling well." I admit, even though I had hoped it would go away and we would be able to enjoy his birthday.
"Go see Gwen today, please. I will drag you if I have to."
"You won't have to drag me; I want to find out what is going on, I hate being sick."
"Good, because I hate seeing you sick. Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, go do whatever you want to do on your day off."
"But I want to be with you."
"Fine, go have fun then. Gwen will probably just tell me it's a stomach sickness, give me some herbal tea to drink, and tell me to wait it out."
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" He pushes that's for sure, but I know it's because he loves me.
"Um… no, I want to talk to her about something anyway." Caspian looks at me like I'm acting weird, and then simply nods before getting up and walking to the wardrobe.
"Okay, whatever you want." I can tell he is a little upset that I didn't want him to come, but I had something I really wanted to talk to Gwen about… alone.
"Thanks." I reply, also getting up to decide what I'm wearing for the day. When I finish dressing I look at Caspian and say "I'm going on down to see Gwen; I don't think my stomach could handle a lot food right now, and if I am sick I don't want to be around the others. I love you." I kiss his cheek.
"I love you too." He kisses my forehead. "If it's anything too bad you'll come and find me to tell me, right?"
"Of course. If it's just a stomach sickness I'll probably stop by the kitchen and see if I can get some bread or something, and then come back here to read."
"Sounds like a plan. I'll come back here in a bit to check on you, if you aren't here I'll check the library and then Gwen's office?"
"Sounds good." I turn to walk out and, ultimately, the long hallways of the castle.
"Lucy my dear, what brings you own here today?" Gwen greets me as I walk into her office.
"I haven't been feeling good. Yesterday morning I woke up and was really nauseous, but then about lunch time I was fine… until this morning; I woke up and felt nauseous again."
"Have you eaten anything bad? Maybe a bad piece of fruit or meat?"
"Not that I know of; I haven't been eating fruit as much recently, and mother always taught us how to find good fruit."
"Other than not eating as much fruit have your eating habits changed?"
"No, not that I can think of. I mean not until yesterday when I couldn't eat anything, but that was after I was sick already." I seemed to have stumped Gwen, and that doesn't happen very often.
"Hmmm…" she looks me up and down, and then it's like a light clicks. "How long has it been since-"
"No." I shake my head. "It couldn't be."
"Why not?" She gives me a firm look.
"Ok… I guess it could be…" I admit. She makes us some tea and we talk for the next hour about a little bit of everything, but mostly the possibility of what might be making me sick. And eventually she just questions me, no boundaries, and she confirms it.
I walk back to my room slowly, and literally walk into Caspian on the way there. "Hey, how'd it go with Gwen?"
"Caspian, we need to talk." I keep my voice void of any emotion; a trick a learned in the Golden Age.
"What's going on…Lucy?" He's worried about me, I know, but I didn't want to tell him out here in the open.
"Our room, then I'll tell you." He looks at me like I've grown an extra head, but doesn't question it, just walks beside me.
"Ok, we are here. Now tell me, what is going on." Caspian closes the door with a snap before turning to face me, his expression unreadable other than the obvious fact that he's slightly mad because I didn't tell him when I bumped into him.
"Caspian, listen…" My voice is soft as I sit down on my side of the bed and run my hands over my face.
"Lucy…" His voice is so soft I can barely hear it, but there is no trace of the anger that was there a minute ago; his voice is nothing but gentle. "Please… let me help. What has been making you sick?"
"Caspian…" I wrap my arms around him and, for the short moment that I bury my head in his shoulder, it doesn't seem as bad; we can go through this together. I pull away, look him in the eye and say the words that will change us forever. "Caspian, I'm pregnant again." I watch closely for his reaction and I see a split second of sadness wash over his face before he smiles.
"Really?"
"Gwen said that would be the only thing that would make sense; I haven't eaten any bad food, I haven't changed my diet, and I…" I clear my throat. "I haven't had my cycle in over a month…" I trail off, letting everything sink in, and not just for Caspian because I'm still trying to get used to the idea myself.
"Oh Lucy…" Caspian reaches up places a hand on my cheek before kissing me. The kiss turns from soft and loving to heated and passionate very quickly, but I don't mind and, obviously, Caspian doesn't either. "I love you so much, you know that, right?"
"Mmmmhhhmm." I mumble my response against his lips, which are so close they might as well still be on mine. He pulls back a little bit more before continuing.
"Everything's going to be alright this time." He assures me, even if he can't promise it, and I know he can't, it still makes me feel better.
"Yeah, that's what Gwen said."
"Lucy, just because something bad happened last time does not mean something bad will happen this time."
"I know, but…"
"No, do not say 'but'. Aslan will work it out, we have to have faith. You do trust that Aslan will work this out for good, don't you?"
"Yes! Of course, I just… I don't know what I would do if… it happened again."
"Me either." He admits. "But if, and I put a very strong emphasis on the word if, it happens again…" He pauses, takes a deep breath then finishes. "We will get through it, okay?"
"Ok." I nod my head. "Caspian, you do want this baby, right?"
"What? Of course! Sure; I might get a little annoyed by your morning sickness or mood swings, and when you have the baby we might not get as much sleep as we do now, but I'm so sure it will be worth it when we watch it takes its first steps, and hear it hear it says its first words. I can't think of a better reason to lose sleep."
"Me either." I smile through my tears; Caspian will be an amazing father, even if he doesn't believe it. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." He manages to reply before my lips meet his.
"But we tell Eustace this time; I think I hurt him last time."
"We, not you."
"Caspian, I was the one that didn't want to tell him; it was my fault, don't try to change my mind on that."
"But." he stops himself, thinks for a minute, and then apparently decides that he won't change my mind because he continues with "Okay… do you want me to go find him?"
"No, I don't want to tell him today and maybe not even tomorrow or the next day, but soon."
"Okay, whenever you want to Lucy." We sit in silence for a few minutes; I think both of us are just taking everything in, hardly believing this could actually happen.
"I can't wait for the first time we feel the baby kick." I run my hand over my stomach. "Mom said that was always so amazing, and I have to admit that I want to know what it feels like since I'm the youngest and never got that like the others did."
"I bet that will be amazing." Caspian murmurs in my ear as he wraps his arms around me and puts his hands over mine, which are resting on my flat stomach. I would be perfectly happy to never leave this moment.
We spend most of the day sitting like that; on the floor leaned up against our bed, my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me, hands resting on my stomach. We never say much, but we don't have to.
"Caspian?" I murmur about thirty minutes before we go to supper.
"Yes my Queen?"
"Would you do something for me?" Our voices are nothing but whispers so low we can barely hear them ourselves.
"Anything, what do you want?"
"Would you grow a beard again?" I can tell by the way his body posture relaxes that he was not expecting something so… small?
"A beard?" His voice is laced with amusement "You mean, like, a long one?"
"No, no!" It's my turn to be amused. "A small one… like you had on the Dawn Treader, I liked it. I might not like it now, so you might be able to shave it off quickly if you don't like it, but I want to know how your face would feel with a beard."
"I don't see any reason that prevents me from having a beard, so I shall start by not shaving tomorrow."
"Thank you Caspian."
We go to supper, talk with Julia, Tirian, Eustace, and Claire for a while and then head back to our room to get ready for bed.
"Caspian?" I whisper so soft that I'm not one hundred percent sure I actually said it or if I just thought it; I don't know if Caspian is still awake or not, but I know I can't go to sleep. I'm lying with my back pressed against his chest; the way I've slept almost every night since we got married, the place that has provided me with so much comfort… but tonight it's doing nothing.
"Yeah?" His voice is tired, and it almost sounds like he is half asleep, but since he answered I'll go on.
"Can we tell Eustace tomorrow?"
"That you're pregnant again? Of course, whenever you want. Is that why you aren't sleeping?" He sounds more awake now, but still tired.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you not sleeping because you wanted to ask me that?"
"Maybe a little…"
"What's wrong? Please Lucy, tell me." He leans closer and raises himself up enough that he can plant a small, feather light kiss on my cheek.
"Caspian I…" I turn my body to face him and find my face flat against his chest. "I'm scared."
"My Lucy is scared? The same Lucy who fearlessly rode into many battles and helped defeat many enemies, and helped secure many allies is… scared?"
"Caspian! I'm not joking. I'm afraid that this will end up like last time, and if it doesn't? What if I'm not a good parent? Or what if something happens to one or both of us? I don't want our child to grow up alone." I can feel Caspian tense when I mention something happening to one of us, and assume he's thinking about his parents and Miraz. "I'm so scared I'm going to do something wrong and I'm going to be a bad parent."
"Lucy, first off; we. I'm in this just as much as you are. And you want to know something?" I nod. "Me too; I'm scared too, Lucy, probably just as much as you are. But we can make it, Aslan will help us, you know that, right?"
"Mmmmhhhmm." I nod again.
"Good. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine Caspian, thank you."
"Will you be able to go to sleep?"
"I should be able to, why?"
"Because I don't sleep well when you aren't sleeping."
"Oh. Well I should be fine in a few minutes." I give Caspian a soft kiss, which calms me instantly, and before I know it I'm dreaming of what it will be like to be a parent.
A/N: How'd you like it?! The next few chapters have a lot going on and I can't wait to get them posted for you! But unfortunately it also means the end of this story is coming closer. :( I don't know exactly how many more chapters I'm going to write, but I'm currently writing chapter 41 and can easily plot out three or four more after that. But unless I get a random burst of inspiration this story probably won't go past 50 chapters. :(
Enough of the sad stuff. What did you think of this chapter? And what do you think of Lucy being pregnant again And did you notice any mistakes? Because if you did, please, let me know so I can get them fixed!
Can't wait until the next update,
Rebecca!