Chapter 37 - Congratulations & Goodbye.

Staring down at Effy I still had a hard time believing she was mine, the only explanation of why was because she was too perfect. It was crazy that something so beautiful could be mine. I watched as she started sucking on her fist and twitch as she fell into a deep sleep. I wish I could see her dreams, I wondered what they would be like and I prayed they were happy dreams. Mine weren't. At the moment I was waking up half crying because I had a nightmare. It was so childish, it wasn't something a 25 year old woman should be waking up about. "Mummy, mummy, there's a monster under my bed" you know that kind of stuff.

I picked Effy up from her hospital cot and wrapped her blankets tighter around her body, making sure she was extra warm, I never thought about being a mum much. I always though -- even when I was going to have Sunny, that I would be a terrible mother, I always thought that part was inevitable seeing as at the time I was a drug crazed manic depressive. Even now being as happy as I was I still had the feeling I was going to fail. And that hurt me more than anything.

Effy opened her eyes and yawn escaped her mouth, I cooed at her and started clutching at her tiny fist with my finger. I looked at the door when it opened and a tired looking Randy walked in with a car seat in hand. His lips parted into a broad smile and he hurried over putting the seat on the bed. His arms automatically wrapped around my waist and his lips went straight to mine. "How are my two favorite girls doing?"

"Were both exhausted. Here take Effy so I can finish packing up our stuff" I handed her over and quickly started packing everything. I started throwing in all of my clothes and the things that everyone had brought us. I was rushing; I wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. "So, how long do you have off work?"

"eh… about that…"

"What, what, what?! Don't tell you haven't been given any time off!"

"Well, I was given a week off house shows and signings and stuff but I got to be back to work on the live show"

"You have got to be kidding me! Randy I can't take care of Effy all on my own. And you can't spend so much time away from us!"

"I know, I know I can't help it. If I spend too much time away I'll have to give up the title and Vince doesn't want me to yet. I couldn't argue with him"

"Argue with him? My mum leaves tomorrow! She's got to get back to work. This is… this is…" I couldn't think of anything to say. So I turned my back on Randy and continued to pack the bags. When it was all done I put the bag over my shoulder and turned around to see Randy putting Effy in the car seat he had bought. We left the room and I filled out all the papers I needed and we made our way to the car. We didn't speak at all, great, my own fault I guess. But I was secretly blaming him. It probably wouldn't last long.

When we got home there was masses of balloon's and flowers that decorated the living room, Randy carried in Effy and the bags and I started looking at all the name cards. I forgot my anger towards Randy quickly—see I told you. "Look this ones from Hunter 'Congratulations Trouble, I always knew Randy was going to be good for something one day. Xx' ha, he was right there"

"I'll get him for that and you" he smirked at me and placed the car seat on the couch and started with removing Effy. "Listen I'm really sorry about work and everything…"

"It doesn't matter. You can't help it as long as you're here now, that's what counts" he Randy bent down and kissed me lightly before sitting next to me Effy tucked safely in his arms

"where's your mom?"

"Out with Chris, he made her take him shopping"

"Chris made your mom take him shopping. Isn't it usually the other way around?"

"Not with Chris. You should know that by now" me and Randy decided to start packing everything into Effy's nursery and then relaxed down onto the sofa with the baby monitor on the coffee table. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his steady breathing.

"Thank you" I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. A smile that could melt the knickers off of any sane woman.

"For what?"

"For loving me. For giving me a beautiful baby girl"

"No Randy, thank you. I never thought I would be able to have another child. After Sunny…" familiar tears welled in my eyes but I brushed them away "I thought I wasn't ever going to be able to give you a child and now I have" I wrapped my arms tightly around his body and brushed my lips against his. He deepened the kiss and we both fell into it. I hadn't felt this good in months; I welcomed the warming sensation growing in the pit of my stomach. Was I nervous? Probably. Did I want him? Definitely.

He held me tighter pulling me closer to his body where we comfortable fit together. I climbed over his legs and gripping onto him tighter so that I was straddling his waist. His arm curved around my back and the other rested on my thigh, were it slowly rubbed up and down. Damn it felt so good. I broke from the kiss and rested my head against his "I've miss this so much"

"what about the no sex rule?"

"screw it" we both laughed and I kissed him again. His hand that was on my thigh slowly moved up until it rested on my back, I pushed my hair behind my ear and moved back so I could take my shirt off. I threw it aside and rested closer to Randy's body he raised his eyebrows and stared at me

"No bra?"

"Nope" he sighed leaning closer

"I love you" then he pulled my head to his and kissed me furiously. I moaned and he took that opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. I wasn't complaining, it felt really good. He kissed down my jaw line then my collarbone. I actually forgot how good this was. How, how, how?! How had I forgotten? Never mind, I was remembering now. He bit down on the flesh above my breast and I moaned again. I was just about ready to explode then!

But we were interrupted by Effy crying. Shit, shit! I groaned lightly and rolled off Randy. I stood up to go to her but Randy beat me too it "I got it, you just relax okay?" I picked up my shirt and put it back on before falling back into the chair and resting my head on the sofa. I heard Randy going into the bedroom over the baby monitor and whispering "you have the worst timing in the world kid"

I laughed and started going through all the cards reading through all the messages the one from Mickie read "Hey girl! I can't believe you're a mom! I'm so happy for you and Randy and wish you all the luck in the world. Love ya! Xx" the next one was Ric's "Woooo! Congrats kids. I'm so happy for you and wish you all the happiness in the world. (Vicki -- can't wait for you to make an honest man out of Randy)" I sorted through everything (over the monitor I could hear Randy singing Effy a lullaby) I opened up a card quickly and scanned for the name. When I saw it my whole body froze in terror.

I read the note slowly… "So you finally replaced Sunny? What makes you think you deserve that child? Because I sure as hell don't. You stopped me before but you WON'T do it again. Understand? Congratulations and Goodbye. B x" I felt an aching in my stomach and sick start to rise in my throat. I fell onto the couch and sat with the card in my hand. I was shaking like crazy. The singing and crying on the monitor stopped and I could hear the footsteps coming down the stairs.

The card was still firmly in my shaking hands, it could have been on fire and I wouldn't have let go. I probably would have clutched to it, just to make sure I could actually make sure it was reality. Fucking damn! Randy flopped onto the coach next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder "she's asleep peacefully" only then did he notice my shaking "what's wrong?" I tried to my mouth to speak but I couldn't. "Vicki what's wrong"

"Did you sort through the cards already?"

"No, why?" I just handed him the card and watched his reaction. At first his face was peaceful, calm even, and then it started to crease into surprise, then anger. And finally his face went bright red "I'm calling the cops"

"what good will it do? I think he's proved that doesn't help"

"doesn't help?!" he stood from the chair and went for the phone but I was quicker

"look at the facts, he broke out of jail, managed to fly all the way from England and get to here, he got away from the police a second time when he came to the house! He successfully beat the living crap out of me, got away again! I think they have proved utterly useless"

"Then what do we do?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't" I sat down again and folded my arms across my chest. You could hear Effy's slow breathing and it calm me slightly. But only slightly the increasing panic in my stomach was going away that quickly. The door opened and my mum and Chris walked in carrying shopping bags.

"Sorry we took so long Chris couldn't decide what colour vest to buy"

"I resent that" they both started laughing but when they noticed the tension in the room they immediately stopped. "Roxy what's wrong?" Randy handed him the card and I sat there ignoring all the arguing going on around me for the next 10 minutes, it was whispered shouting, nobody wanted to wake the baby. Fine by me, Randy and Chris started calling each other names. It was like being in primary school, only I'm sure 5 year olds didn't call each other, 'fucking stupid pansy' or 'arrogant fucking prick' my mum stood helplessly between the two trying to stop it, she looked at me for help and I intervened. .

"ALRIGHT!" all 3 of them looked at me with blank eyes. "I have had enough of this. You all need to stop arguing and we need to figure out what to do. Because I am sick of this" I left the room and walked upstairs. When I got into Effy's room I closed the door quietly pulled up a chair and leaned on the bars of her crib. Maybe actually being with her would unwind the uptight feeling in my tummy. Fingers crossed.

I stared down at her sleeping for what seemed like hours. It was very peaceful. I could hear the arguments coming from downstairs and I sighed heavily. All sorts of worrying thoughts ran through my head. More uneasiness settled in my stomach. I felt sick at the thought of what was waiting for me in the near future. Because now I understood what had to happen for this to all be over.

"Jesus Effy, how did this happen to me? I was perfectly fine till he came back. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, you're probably dreaming about pretty colours and patterns. I just wish I could fix it all with a click of my fingers. It would be so easy eh? Sorry to break it to you Effy, but life sure ain't easy. Damnit" I leaned in closer to her cot and stroked her forehead "I wish I could make life peaceful for you but instead I have to get to a grip with that fact that my future seems deadly" I stood and kissed Effy's head lightly and walked from the room closing the door quietly. I walked into mine and Randy's bedroom and threw myself onto the bed.

This wasn't over with him and I doubt it ever would be till either I was dead or he was. Like I said. Deadly.