Disclaimer: GRRM owns all.
Chapter 5
Eddard
Drip, drip, drip, was all he heard. All Ned Stark could see before was darkness and felt a moist ground beneath him. Drip, drip, drip, was all he heard again and Ned could not even see his hands before him. Ned could swear he heard the sound of laughter, yet the sound came from a man who had gone insane. Eddard didn't know if the laughter was his own nor not, he didn't even know if this was a dream or real. He heard the sound of chains and visions of fire around him—they looked like torches in the gloom. Ned yelled but no sound came out and the feeling was that of helplessness. "Ned!" Jeyne's voice echoed in the darkness but he could not hear her. "Ned!" her voice echoed again. "Jeyne!" he yelled back, but nothing came of it. "I'm with you!" she said, but he could not see her.
Before him in the darkness came a face of a boy, almost a man. He had auburn hair and hazel eyes with a smile that reminded Ned of his own. Sam, Ned thought, but the boy said nothing. It was then Casella came beside him screaming and screaming with tears down her cheeks…yelling at Eddard in words that did not take form. Ned felt fear surge within him and sadness as well. "Ned…" Jeyne's voice said softly. "Stay with me, my love." It was then he saw her wearing a white dress and a light.
Ned awoke in his chambers with sweat on his forehead, and his chest heaving. He stared up at the ceiling and the day's light shone into the chamber making it grey. Ned looked to see Lyanna asleep beside him with her back turned him while the grey drapes covered the window. What did I just dream? Ned wondered. His heart told him not to think of it anymore, so Ned threw off his coverlets and sat up on the side of the bed. Ned looked around the chamber and heard the sounds of Winterfell in the morning. Scurries came out from the hall and hushed voice. Eddard paid them no mind and sighed to himself, getting up to stretch and throw on a black tunic with some white breeches. He did not care to dress lavish today and felt no need. When Ned went to look into the mirror to comb out his hair he hardly recognized himself due to his clean shaven face. Please keep your face shaven, Ned remembered Jeyne telling him after they had kissed. She seemed to prefer him with a shaven face. Ned smiled at the memory, combed his hair and threw the drapes open. Winterfell is alive, he thought, and saw the castlefolk already doing their duties. Ned could smell the smoke from the kitchens and the hammer of the smithy—but the shouts of duties and orders were always the loudest.
"Up already?" Lyanna asked. Ned saw her sitting up on the bed with the coverlets wrapped around her chest. "We slept a long while, I see."
"We might have missed breaking our fast," Ned told her. She was groggy and yawned, stretching her arms out. Eddard thought nothing of it and turned back to watching Winterfell. He always enjoyed doing this. Ned decided not to think on anything but just focus on the moment. I'm tired and do not care anymore. He sighed to himself as Lyanna wrapped her arms about his waist and kissed his shoulder. Ned just wished it was Jeyne.
She's not horrible, Ned, he told himself but let the thought go. He'd decided to be honest with himself and let it go. "I've always loved seeing you in the morning like this, Ned," Lya whispered to him.
"I know," Ned replied, with a hand to his chin. "And I appreciate your kind words and always being there." He turned to face her and she was smiling. Ned saw Jeyne in her face and thought about his uncles words, but did not anymore. Ned kissed her and said nothing, which caused her to become surprised.
"You're happy today, I see."
Play your part. "How can I not with my wife in my arms?"
"Ever the flatterer, Eddard Stark."
Ned smiled and she kissed him one last time. He sat on the bed and watched her dress whilst they spoke about how they think their children handled sleeping in Ned's parent's chambers. They had not come to them in the morning as Ned had thought they would, but figured his parents took them to break their fast so Ned and Lya could get their rest. When they were done, Ned went to his parents' chambers and did not find them, and when he and Lya went to the Great Hall they were not there either. Ned and her decided not to be worried seeing Winterfell was their home, and ate a meal of fried eggs, bacon, black toast, ale, and little burnt fishes that were salty.
After they had finished eating both him and Lyanna went over to his parents chambers, where finally they found them. His children were happy and playing amongst themselves. Val ran into Ned's arms when he walked in and Brandon was playing with his grandfather. Even Little Dany was having her hair braided by her grandmother in the dothraki way. Ned knew his daughter would find that exciting. Would she love me if she knew that I loved another? If Jeyne and I were to have children would she love them as much? Ned truly didn't know but his heart told them shew would. When asked how it went with them last night Val said she was the last to fall asleep while Brandon was the first. His daughter Daenerys explained that her grandsire and grandmother told her tales of King's Landing and the East—about her three dragons and how Ned was as a child. She loved them all and laughed when she heard that Ned used to love his aunt Sansa more than his own mother. Ned knew that Lady Daenerys often never let that down.
Ned was holding Brandon on his lap when a fierce knock came on the door. In his heart, Eddard knew who it already was. "Who could that be?" Lyanna asked who was sitting at the table with Ned's mother.
"I'd know that knock anywhere," said James Stark, his voice sounding as if he was warning of dark times. "After raising her since she was born in King's Landing I'd recognize that knock anywhere."
"It's Rhaella," Ned grumbled to everyone. His father was sitting on the bed showing Little Dany poetry written by Lady Catelyn; she had wished to know a glimpse of Ned's grandmother. "She's upset."
Knock, knock, knock, it came against the door again. Each time it was with less patience. "What is she upset about this time?" Lady Daenerys asked.
Lyanna looked to Ned and said, "Your son has some explaining to do, along with my brother."
"What?!" Ned's parents said in-unison. "Ned," said his father, "what did you do?"
Ned replied, "I'm sure Rhaella will tell you."
Lady Daenerys gave him a queer look when Lyanna rose from the table to open the door. "Gods help you, Ned," jested his mother. "And I hope you and Robert didn't do you something foolish."
Ned gulped to himself, preparing for the onslaught that was to come. I've awoken the dragon and these are the consequences. Ned heard the door open and footsteps that sounded as if a giant was walking the Earth. I have heard a giant walking before and they sound just like them. Rhaella's footsteps bounced off the walls sounding like the clack on wood of sparing swords. "Ned Stark!" she yelled, loud as she could. Ned's children were startled whilst his parents remained calm. His twin sister stood before him with red eyes and fresh tear stains staring him down with the intensity of one thousand suns; Ned bobbed Brandon in his lap and stared at her, too. After all he had been through his sister was nothing to be afraid of, yet her anger was intimidating at times.
Rhaella had always been the dramatic one of the family—making situations much larger than what they appeared. But Ser Criston was her betrothed and first serious relationship, and Eddard understood matters of the heart. Lyanna came up beside Rhaella and whispered, "Please, Rhaella, not in-front of the children. They're scared enough of as it is." When Rhaella surveyed the chamber before her she gave a curt nod and the children left with Lyanna. She figured Ned and Rhaella needed their parents to mediate the situation.
When they were gone, Rhaella said, coldly, "Why, Ned? Why did you do it?"
"Do what, Rhaella?"
"You know what!" she snapped, her silver hair bouncing. Rhaella was in a dark purple cotton dress and her hair was down her back. "You know of what I speak, Ned!"
"Rhaella," said their mother, calmly. She came up beside Ned's sister and wrapped her arms about her. "Try to speak calmly. Not everything has to be handled with shouts and screams."
"No!" Rhaella yelled. "Not when it concerns my betrothed!"
"Your betrothed?" said James Stark, aghast. He looked to Eddard. "What does she speak of, my son?"
Ned sighed heavily and did not care to speak about such matters. He had more important things to focus on. "She speaks of how Robert and I followed Ser Criston to Wintertown last night…"
"And accused him of being unfaithful!" Rhaella's voice was like thunder. "How could you do such a thing, Ned? What you did was a lack of faith in not only him, but me!"
Ned said nothing and his father asked, "Is it true, Ned? Did you really follow the man and accuse him of such actions?"
Ned nodded and his sister began to sob, whilst their mother just held her. She gave Ned a look of scorn and shook her head. "I did not expect you of such actions, Ned," she said with shame in her voice. "I'm very disappointed in you."
"I did it for good reason," Ned said, defending himself. "There's two sides to every story and the truth. Would you like to hear my side?"
"No, we wouldn't!" Rhaella barked, turning from their mother's shoulder. "What could you have to say that would justify your actions?" She returned to sobbing into their mother's shoulder as Lady Daenerys hushed her and sat her on the bed. Rhaella continued to sob into her shoulder and Ned's father shook his head.
"What are we to do, Eddard?" he asked him, morosely. "What are we to do?"
"Would you still like to listen to my side?"
"Aye, so be it." Over the sounds of Rhaella's wails Ned explained that he and Robert grew suspicious after Ser Criston would not spend time with the Starks. His father nodded and understood, going as far as to say he was noticing the same thing. Each time Ned made a point Rhaella would say something, but their father told her to let him finish. Ned nodded and finished explaining that through certain sources he tried to figure out the kind of man he was, but all the knew is that he slept and drank so much ale that he would not wake until dawn. He even explained that Rhaella kept constantly defending him as if she was hiding or insecure about something.
When he finished, Rhaella said, "I defend him because I want you all to like him! Because of Robert's stupid japes all believe him to be this way, so what choice do I have but to defend him?" Rhaella cried some more. "You could have asked me, Ned, I would have told you his nature. He's quiet and shy—choosing books over socializing. He's always been that way."
"How did he become a knight, then?"
"His father wanted him to be one, so he became it!" Rhaella told him. "He's quite good at what he does and comes from a good family. They're respected in Storm's End, Ned. Gods, you fool…"
"Ned," said their father, "finish the story."
Ned nodded. "I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he explained the situation. After many whores and the brothelkeep told me he only sat in the common room eating chicken and drinking ale, I believed him. Either he knew Robert and I were following him that night or he's telling the truth. I sat him down, shared an ale or two, and got to know the man. He told me how Rhaella was afraid we'd hate him, so I even gave him advice on how to win my siblings over—even telling him how to win over Cat who will arguably be the hardest to earn her love. You see, Rhaella, although you say I'm a fool I say you should count your blessings. I'm the reason your betrothed has warmed up to us, and from what I heard actually spoke when the Starks broke our fast today. Even Rhaenys told me he was seen in the practice yard with Rhaegar."
"Is this true?" asked Lady Daenerys.
Rhaella nodded. "Aye, it is. Rhaegar was eager to learn southron sword moves and Criston said he would teach him. When I asked him why he said Ned gave him the advice." She wiped her nose. "He's understanding of what happened—to understanding, I say, and doesn't hold a thing against Ned or Robert. He said it was a blessing in disguise."
"Sounds like you have quite the man there, Rhaella," said their father. "Most men would have cursed you to seven hells and back for Ned's actions…I will speak to him later of such things."
"And you will apologize, Eddard!" yelled their mother. "And you will start by doing so to your sister!"
Ned groaned. "I do feel bad for what I did, and almost did not but I had to see it through. I wanted to protect you, Rhaella, don't you see that?" Ned sighed. "We've never been terribly close, you and I, but we shared the same womb. That has to count for something?"
Rhaella wiped her tears daintily with a cloth and replied, "I appreciate the gesture, but do not do it again. Just make sure you don't, Ned. And-and- " She sighed. "Thank you for giving him advice. He really appreciated having you by his side last night."
"And I apologize, Rhaella. Truly, I do. It won't happen again and I'll spend more time with him. Tell me, what does he like?"
Rhaella smiled. "Politics, history, philosophy, medicine…pretty much everything, Ned. Criston can speak about everything but his issue is that at social gatherings he doesn't know what to talk about save those topics. I've helped him introduce him to others and teach him how, but it's taken time. I know you like those things as well, so just talk to him about that. He'll love it."
Ned nodded and his sister hugged him for it. It felt queer having Rhaella hug him but Eddard was happy she was happy. In her core Rhaella was a nice, smart, compassionate woman who wanted to help the world, but at times could be too prideful and anger clouded her. When it was over she left her chambers and Robert was striding the halls of the Great Keep, whistling and singing as he did. Ned watched with his mother and father as Rhaella ran over to him, slapped him and beat his chest with her fists. Robert was taken off guard and shocked, not knowing what to do. He eventually caught her hands and hugged her, holding her close in that tight grip of his. Rhaella struggled and squirmed but eventually hugged him as well. Ned thought it funny and shook his head, knowing that's how they showed a cousins love to each other without saying the words. He figured Rhaella did appreciate Robert trying to help Criston and it was her way of showing it. They shared a few words, mainly Robert saying that he was sorry, and she was about to leave when Ned called her over.
Rhaella walked over and asked what was wrong, to which Ned bid her into the chamber with their parents and explained, "Robert found out I have a bastard because you speak too loud whilst gossiping in Storm's End."
His sister's eyes went wide and their parents chastised he for it. "Rhaella," said Ned, "you must be more careful. The walls have ears and you cannot say things such as this—especially to people of worth in Storm's End. What will they think of me and Casella?"
Rhaella nodded and said she understood, and the conversation was over after that. Ned continued his day as he usually did after that. He spared with his boy cousins until their heads were drenched with sweat; Ned spoke to them each and they all jested as the cousins they were. Making fun of one another for this and that—it made Ned happy to be around them. After that he went to the bathes and had the moment to himself. The hot springs of Winterfell provided warm water throughout all the winter, and Ned's aching muscles were cured after that. He was glad to be alone in the bath's and not with anyone else. Ned wanted the moment to himself and not to be bothered by others, which fortunately he wasn't. After the midday meal, Eddard spent time with his family, his in-laws, children and Lyanna. He told Jeyne he would find her at the godswood gate before the evening meal—Ned was growing tired of having each encounter in the godswood, although he loved that place. He was excited to see her.
In the afternoon he found Ser Criston reading in his chambers whilst Ned's daughter Daenerys was beginning to attend her lessons with Maester Willem. Eddard was glad his daughter could at least learn a thing or two whilst in Winterfell for the winter, and Lyanna was gracious for that opportunity as well. He sat with Ser Criston enjoying ale and speaking about the topics Rhaella told him to break words about: politics, history, philosophy, but mainly politics. Ned wanted to hear about who was gaining power in the South and he said the Tyrells were quickly becoming more powerful than the Lannisters because most of the Lannister military leadership was not as it once was. Willis Tyrell could not match the Lannisters in terms of gold, given that they did not have a gold mine, but in terms of military leadership were exceeding the Lannisters. When asked why the knight explained that Tommen was not as politically minded as his mother, but could command an army like his father Jaime. He just didn't have the knack for both as his grandsire Tywin.
As Eddard left the knights chambers his younger sister Rhaenys found him and said that Jaime wanted to see him. Ned nodded and found the future Lord of Winterfell sitting in his solar that belonged to Lord Bran. Jaime was as tall as his father now, lean, and his thick auburn hair was down to his ears. He had the look of his father but the eyes of his mother; Jaime Stark had changed much since when he was a boy and became a man sooner than he had to be. Such was the fate of the first born son of the Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North. Jaime was nervous for his wedding, Ned noticed and could remember his own with Lyanna. At the time he was nervous but not so happy for it—he was in a sense seeing as Lyanna wasn't a monster. Yet he remembered his uncle's words and knew he would've been had it been Jeyne. Sweet Jeyne…Ned thought but let it go. Part of him felt bad for thinking less of Lya, but this self-honesty he had been having left him at peace. Jaime told him he was nervous but more happy than anything—Ned could see he really loved Minisa. He could see how it would've felt had Lya been Jeyne.
Ned shook the thought away and Jaime explained he had to visit Wintertown the day of his wedding—in the morning, of course—to make sure the subjects living within its stone houses were managing now that winter was here. Ned nodded and said he would join, of course, seeing as some of his subjects lived there as well and joined him on the journey to Winterfell. Jaime even told him Robert agreed to go simply because he wanted something to do. Eddard laughed at that and went to the courtyard. He saw in the sky that the sun was beginning to set and an idea struck him right as he was about to go visit Jeyne.
Whilst he walking in the courtyard Winterfell was still alive. The day was dwindling, the evening meal almost here, so most had taken to finish their duties. But some remained and gave him nods, even jests about his naked face. Ned had none some since childhood so them being more personable was fine with him. The snow was hard like stone, good for snowballs, and it was dirty with many tracks as he walked. Ned heard footsteps behind him. "Ned!" his sister Cat yelled. Ned kept walking and he heard her breathing from running. "Ned!"
Eddard kept walking towards the godswood and his breath was visible in the air. He knew Cat would catch up to him. "Ned!" she yelled once more and came beside him, catching her breath. She punched him in the arm as hard as she could. "I was yelling for you, you dolt!"
Ned sighed and saw his sister. She was wearing a light blue cotton dress with furs, leather gloves, and a band to push her hair back. She's been taking Jeyne's bands now. "I wanted to talk to you!" she yelled over the sounds of Winterfell. "We haven't had much time to speak as of late and I notice you're distant."
Ned kept walking and said nothing. He did not want to have this conversation with her—he'd talked about his feelings with too many people and too many times. But it was Cat and she did as she please. Ned knew that all too well when she'd brazenly walk to the stables in his holdfast, steal a sword, and go riding in the hour of the wolf. He forbade her from doing it, put guards outside her door, but she still found a way. Such was Cat. "I'm talking to you!" she yelled once more as Ned kept walking. "Eddard!"
"What?!" Ned snapped, stopping in his tracks so he could face her. Normally he would've never snapped at Cat like this, but he was not in the mood to speak about such matters. He saw her eyes wide and in-shock. "I'm sorry," Ned apologized, realizing his misdeed. He braced her shoulders. "Forgive me. As of late I haven't had the patience for much."
"So I've noticed," Cat replied. "Now I see that shaving your face was a symbolic act, as well."
Ned nodded. "Aye, it was, but no matter. I know I've been distant but as of late I've learned and seen things, Cat—things I cannot share with you. It's beyond you or I."
Cat's eyebrow was raised. "You sound mysterious, Ned."
"Aye, I know, but it's the truth. I'd tell you if I could but our uncle told me not to." Ned rolled his eyes as the castlefolk moved around them. "It's just…Cat, I've spoken about this subject with too many people. It has become quiet, how do I say…annoying?"
Cat sniggered. "I can see. The reason people broach this topic is because it's noticeable, Ned. Don't be a fool and close up."
"I haven't, Cat." Ned sighed in agony. "Forgive my impatience but I must head somewhere. Listen, I can speak to you about such things if you really want to after I'm done, but for now I cannot say a thing."
Cat crossed her arms and her hair gave a bounce. "Fine. But I also wanted to know why you didn't let me help with Ser Criston. I could've found out more than Rhaenys!"
"Cat, we didn't think to let in many people. Rhaella could not find out about it."
"And Rhaenys? She's two-and-ten, Ned."
"Aye, most don't listen to children, nor pay attention to them. She's perfect, Cat, for what we needed."
"Good to know you're using our sister."
Ned laughed softly. "Yes, I see. As Robert put it Rhaenys would've done it regardless so she might as well should've told us what she knew. No matter…"
Cat was angry with him, Ned noticed. Oft she could become jealous when either she was given the attention others received or being lied to. Ned understood that but could not care too much right now. Cat stood there, arms crossed, and replied, coldly, "Fine. Where you headed? Can you tell me that, my lord."
"Cat…" Ned said, softly, "don't get this way. I'll speak to you later."
"Don't tell me how I should act, Eddard, I'm not a babe!"
"I didn't say you were!" Ned said, impatiently. "Really, Cat, I must get going. You becoming jealous like a little girl isn't solving matters, right now. I said I'd talk to you later and tell you what I can."
Cat huffed and bite her tongue. She never yelled at Ned, really. At times she did if she disagreed with something, but not usually. "If you say so, Eddard. Can you at least tell me where you're going?"
"To the godswood gates to see Jeyne."
Cat smiled sarcastically. "Of course you are. I've noticed that you spend more time with her than your own wife. Some have taken notice, Ned."
Ned shrugged. "It makes me happy and Lyanna is fine with it. I care not about what others think."
"Mother and Father do."
Ned laughed. "Let them care, I do not."
Cat said nothing and walked closer to him, inspecting his eyes. "I'm not fool, Ned, I see the way you look at her." Cat was practically speaking in a whisper. "I see how you smile, how you hold her hand…how Jeyne holds yours for far too long. I'd say you love her, Ned. I'd say you love her more than Lyanna."
When Cat pulled away Ned said nothing but was sure his face conveyed everything. "We have much to talk about, I suppose. But for now let me be with Jeyne. One day when you fall in-love with your husband you will understand."
Ned kept walking away and Cat said, "And I hope he does not have a Sam."
His heart broke at her words and he stopped in his tracks. Cat was doing this to get back at his snarkiness, his impatience, and how he was short with her for no reason. Like their aunt Arya she could be this way—Cat did not hurt with a sword but with words. Ned felt sad and wondered why she would say such a thing, and turned to face her. "I hope your husband never has a Sam, and I hope that he loves you as you deserve. You deserve much, Cat. I know how lonely you are, at times. I hear how you cry softly in my holdfast at night thinking no one listens…I feel bad for you, but love you nonetheless. One day, Cat, you'll have what you seek."
Cat looked to the ground and said nothing, Eddard could see she was ashamed at her words. She had found out about Sam when Ned told her after Casella had told him. She said she knew through their mother but forgave him long ago. When Cat said nothing and stared at the ground it was her way of saying sorry because her pride prevented it. Ned knew that after living with her for so many years, and knew she would apologize in her own time. They both said nothing and Eddard walked way but her words still left him wounded. It was not so much about how she knew about Jeyne, but her throwing Sam into his face as a way to besmirch him. As I haven't suffered for that enough. As if I haven't besmirched myself.
When Ned found Jeyne at the godswood gates he smiled softly and she threw her arms around him. Jeyne held him close for a long while and sighed into his chest. Eddard kissed the top of her head and looked around, seeing that no one was pretending to notice, but they did. Some of them even saw him and Jeyne grow as children and knew about their affections. Her hair smelled of lemons and flowers, a sweeter scent if there ever was one. Jeyne was wearing a cotton dress of hazel with furs, leather gloves, and her hair slumped in a braid down her back. When they pulled from the embrace both looked into each other's eyes and he pushed hair from her face. Jeyne looked at his lips, his at hers and both almost kissed were it not for them coming to their senses. Ned just offered his arm quickly to diffuse the situation. Gods know who is watching.
Jeyne took it and said, "Good thing we came to our senses."
"Aye," Ned agreed. "Although…let it be known I want to, it's just I cannot. We both agreed."
"I know," she replied. In her face he saw disappointment. "I just can't help it, Ned."
"Me neither." Ned stopped her in her tracks and she turned to face him. "You look lovelier with every passing day."
She smiled. "Thank you. Regardless, I noticed you were hurt when you walked over. What happened?"
Ned told her about his conversation with Cat and she replied, "Aye, that sounds like Catelyn. Although we're practically sisters she can be a very mean at times. I'm sorry she said that to you, Ned, knowing her she feels bad and will apologize."
"I know, but that's Cat. I love her and wouldn't have it any other way. Her words still stung, nonetheless, but that can't be helped."
Jeyne nodded. "Where are we headed today, Ned? I can see you're not walking towards the godswood."
The sun was setting over Winterfell and Ned looked to the sky. It had been a sheet of grey for many days as it always will be during winter. Ned had only seen a winter before this as a child but now it was upon them again. He looked to the archway above the gate and remembered a story his mother told him about when his father would take her about the gate, sit on the ramparts and watch the sunset. She said it was some of the most romantic moments of her life and there had been many.
Ned looked back to Jeyne and grabbed her hand. "Come with me. I have an idea."
With his heart pounding in his chest, Ned Stark walked past the castlefolk and up the stone steps which led to the rampart. The steps were covered in snow, and gravel had been laid over them to protect one from slipping on the ice. With each step he made sure Jeyne was walking up them okay, although she kept asking what surprise he had in-store for her this day. Eddard would not budge and each time she asked she would hit him playfully. When they arrived upon the top of the ramparts, Ned remembered the battle for Winterfell and all of the death he'd seen. I again find myself in your arms, he remembered suddenly—the memory of Val's death in his father's arms came into his mind. Ned grunted and let the memory go as he and Jeyne walked towards the area to sit and watch. Stark guards were at their posts leaning on their spears, walking their paths and watching the kingsroad. Ned knew that sort of work was folly seeing the North had seen peace since the days of the wildlings and Mance Rayder. Yet at times a few raiding parties would defy Dale and do as they please, to which the Lord of Winterfell dealt with swiftly.
When they arrived Ned, he and Jeyne looked at the scene before them: the kingsroad covered in snow, the hills of the North as well. The sun in the sky was covered by grey but mixed with an orange hue looked quite lovely. "I thought we'd watch the sunset together," Ned said, smiling at her. "I remembered when my mother would do so with my father and sometimes we'd join them. She said when her and my father were still royals and in their youth they'd do this to end each day."
Jeyne only smiled and it melted his heart. It did Eddard good to see her happy and it made him happy as well. He sat against the stone rampart to look out onto the kingsroad and it was cold against his back. His breeches and furs became slightly wet but he did not care. Ned extended his hand out to Jeyne who took it quickly and laid down in his lap. Her head was cradled against his neck, his arms wrapped around hers and hers around his. Her back was pressed against his chest and it felt sweet to share this moment with her. Eddard looked around to see that all of the guards had either left to enjoy their evening meal or had fallen asleep at their posts. Normally his uncle would punish the men for sleeping at their post—deny them food, make them have longer guard duty—but Ned would not let the men do as they pleased. He just wanted to have this moment alone with Jeyne without worrying about someone seeing them. Jeyne caressed his hands with her fingers and he kissed the top of her head, quickly. The cold wind kissed his face, moved his hair and nipped his skin, but Ned did not care. The sun began to set and Ned knew by the sky growing darker and darker. It was beautiful to him even though one could not see the sun, but to share this moment with his Jeyne made it what it was.
After a few moments to themselves, Jeyne said, "I heard you grunt loudly on the way here." Her voice was as soft as a kiss. "Why did you grunt? Are you hurting?"
"Physically, no. Emotionally, I try not to." Ned sighed. "Honestly, Jeyne, being upon these ramparts again remind me of all the death and carnage I witnessed those two days."
Jeyne's fingers were soft against his own. "You thought of Ser Edmund, didn't you? You blame yourself for his death. I know you do."
"Part of me does—or did, rather. I did in my youth but now I realized he gave his life to defend me. And my father dispensed justice to the Lord of Bones. Now I don't."
"Then it was Dalla you thought of, or Val. I say Val because she meant so much to you. You even named your daughter after her."
Ned sighed against her hair. "Yes, you know me too well. Val will always hurt me because of how she met her end and what she did for me. She treated me as well as a son, protected me beyond the Wall, and showed me a sister I never had. But her death, Jeyne...that has stayed with me all this time." He laughed softly. Ned thought he sounded crazy. "Why am I telling you this? I've never even told Lyanna any of this—of the free folk or Val or Dalla. She understands I wanted to honor her, but not the extent of my debt."
"You tell me because you love me, Ned. There's no other reason." The sky had become more black than orange at this point. The ground was a mix of white, grey and red. Ned thought it lovely. "How did she die, Ned? Val? All know how Dalla died to save you, but for some reason Val hurts you the most."
Ned gulped his sadness. "Val died painfully in my father's arms, Jeyne. She had been shot by three arrows and her last words are what haunted me."
"What were they?"
"My father held her as she died—he was crying like a newborn babe. Part of me thinks he still loved her and was showing it. He held her softly and she just held his face, choking on her blood and said, 'I again find myself in your arms.' I-I saw it all and it haunted me. It broke my heart."
Jeyne said nothing and neither did he. All she did was kiss his hand and asked no more. Eddard appreciated that gesture. It was the most he'd let anyone into that side of him in a very long time. Lyanna never asked but when she did, Eddard never let her in. But with Jeyne it was different…with Jeyne he even forgot he had a wife or a family. It pained him so. "I was so lonely in Karhold, Ned," Jeyne said after a few moments. "I had no one to call my own or befriend."
"Why? Did you not try?"
She sighed against his arm. "I didn't want to, Ned. All the men I met I had nothing but lust for them, but not what we have. I just wanted to meet a man who I was you in another form but it did not take. When our uncle Rickon tried to make me meet a boy something would always happen—he'd fall ill, forget, just not show…I figured I was deformed or they were intimidated, but I gave up after a while." Jeyne looked up at him with her silver eyes, the ones they shared. "I thought the gods were telling me something, Ned. I thought they didn't want me to find anyone. It's not that you held me back, but none of them came close to you and something would happen. I couldn't force it anymore."
Ned could only nod and felt an odd pang of jealousy, but that let that go. She's in your arms now, fool. "I've been through much as well, Jeyne. Honestly my children are all that keep me happy. I-I care for Lya but now I feel different around her. It's as if our uncle awoke me from a dream and I've seen things in a new way."
"The gods will look over your children, Ned. We will not force a thing. Promise me, Ned."
"I promise, my lady." The sun had all but set in the sky at this point and they spoke on other matters of emotion. About how they felt, what to do around each other, and what moments they felt alone. Ned told her about how he felt in his holdfast, about his lordship and even dealing with his subjects. He even shared how her face was all he saw and her face was all he'd see within Lya's. Jeyne smiled at that and kissed his cheek although he knew she missed on purpose. She even shared how much she'd missed him all these years and how all were noticing their increased time together. "We have to keep doing these, Ned," she advised. "If we stop or do not continue they will suspect." Eddard agreed but told her he had to spend more time with Lyanna as a husband should. Jeyne saw the reason but her face still reflected a sadness. Ned hugged her until the bell tolled for the evening meal.
When they arrived the Great Hall was filled to capacity whilst all ate their venison stew with fresh bread and wheels of cheese. Ned had arrived at the same time as his sister Cat who walked over to him without a word and just hugged him. She did not apologize, of course, but Ned knew why she gave him the prolonged hug. Ned hugged her back and just whispered, "Apology accepted, Cat; and accept my own as well." Cat only nodded and all the Starks enjoyed their meals. They spoke about the snows, what they did today, and the children spoke about how Maester Willem talked about the Starks of old and the Targaryens. Ned's daughter Daenerys was especially interested in learning about her Targaryen lineage, which Lyanna thought unfair seeing as she was a Baratheon as well. But as Ned always jested Baratheons did not have dragons.
The meal ended and Ned shared a few moments with Lyanna and their children in the chambers. The children laughed, played and Ned just laid on the bed with his wife. Although he thought of Jeyne he could never be cruel to Lyanna and held a spot in his heart for her—seeing as she was the mother of his children and loved him immensely. Ned felt bad but let it go, as he was done with torturing himself over these things. He promised to take her riding on the morrow where they could walk the wolfswood together. It meant he had to sacrifice his time with Jeyne, but Ned knew she would understand. For the sake of them both he had to give the impression that time for his wife had to take priority over Jeyne.
That night his children slept with the Baratheon parents after the grandsires had told them tales of King's Landing. He and Lya had the chambers to themselves so they made love, but it was bittersweet because he just thought of Jeyne. The next day he woke up, broke his fast, sparred, at the evening meal, and…it became routine for him and he grew bored. But he remembered that this day, Jaime was going to attend to his folk with Eddard. He looked forward to that and after the midday meal went riding with Lyanna. They had a nice meal out in the snow covered wood, rode horses until they grew tired, and talked about their children. Lyanna wanted them to experience the south at some point and talked about fosterings for each of them. Ned agreed and would see when the time came, but again thought of Jeyne.
He went to his chambers to put on his best clothes to inspect the Wintertown. Ned decided on his furs, black leather gloves, a black doublet with a direwolf sewn on it, black leather breeches and his red Targaryen brooch. His face had begun to grow stubble again, he noticed after washing his face in the basin, and vowed to shave it again on the morrow. He liked having a clean face now and all the women said it made him look very handsome. When he was lacing on his boots a knock came on the door and Cat walked in alone. Lya was sewing, his children with either grandparents or cousins, and there was nothing to fear.
Cat sat down in the chair next to him and noticed his clothes. "Feeling fancy today, are we?"
Ned sniggered, lacing his boots. "No, I have to go to Wintertown with Jaime to check on my subjects. He's doing the same."
"I see." Cat tapped her fingers on the table.
"What is it, Cat?" Ned finished lacing one boot and moved to the other. "Just tell me."
"We didn't speak yesterday."
Ned remembered. "I see. You want to speak now, I presume."
"I do."
Ned looked her in the face. Her hair was braided, her eyes violet, and the cotton dress was a plain dark green. "About what?"
"Why you seem so distant. About Jeyne."
Ned finished lacing his boot and said nothing. He went over to the mirror and made sure his hair was in order. "What about those two things?"
"You cannot play with Jeyne's emotions, Ned. It isn't right."
Ned inspected his face and didn't bother to think of a reply. He went to the basin, washed his hands and looked to his sister. "I'm not playing with them if I feel the same, Cat."
"The same? What do you mean?"
Ned laughed and went over to sit down at the table again. "You said yourself yesterday what you've been noticing."
"You-you…"
"Don't go too far, Cat." Lie, you fool. Uncle Bran said to say nothing. "I'm not going to leave Lyanna, if that's what you're thinking. We've been spending more time because all of Westeros told me to, and when I do I get chastised for it. See the hypocrisy?"
Cat replied, "She's different now, Ned. Jeyne's smiling all the time, singing to herself and is too giddy. I say there's something you're both hiding. Us girls know when another is in-love, Ned. She is, and by the looks of it you're hiding it as well. You said something about uncle Bran. Mayhaps I should go to him?"
"Sweet Cat, you may do as you please. Go to him or not, I give no care."
Cat raised an eyebrow. "Fine. But I will find out, Ned, mark my words I will. I will not have you hurting Jeyne."
Ned grew stern. "Hurt Jeyne? Where does this come from? I wouldn't do such a thing and have not treated her any different, Cat. Why don't you ask Jeyne instead of coming to me?"
"Because she won't say a word, Ned. When I ask her she ignores me or says that she's just happy because she's happy, but I'm no fool. Even aunt Sansa is taking notice of her daughter's behavior. She sees she is in-love again. Whatever you two have it must end, Ned, for both of your sakes."
Ned nodded. "Go to our uncle, then. If you really cared for us both then go to him. Mayhaps he'll tell you something, mayhaps not. Just don't be so quick to conclusions or passing judgement, Cat." He stood from his seat. "I must get going, but remember this: not everything is in our control. You should be happy for Jeyne instead of ruining it for her. And as to me…well, you don't know what I've experienced these few days. Goodbye."
Cat huffed and crossed her arms as he made his way to the door. When he opened it Rhaegar was outside asking what they were talking about. Eddard said nothing and walked with his brother. Rhaegar was wearing a silver doublet with a white direwolf, furs, black leather breeches and his white leather gloves. His brother always liked to look nice because of their mother's vanity. And him being the lad he was, it was for the girls. Rhaegar had changed, Ned noticed, and cared for more manly things now. He's trying to grow up too quick, I see.
"Ned," Rhaegar said, "I notice that you've spent more time with Jeyne than with me."
Ned laughed. "You're the one-hundreth person to tell me this, Rhaegar."
"It's true. Ned, why do you spend this time with her?"
"Because you're too young to remember that this is nothing new. Why does everyone deem to tell me what to do?"
Rhaegar kept pace with him and replied, "I meant nothing by it. I envy what you have with her. She's lovely and…"
Ned could hear the pain in his brother's voice. "You've never found love, have you?"
"No, I haven't. I've never found my Casella." Rhaegar's head was slumped in sadness. He had a heavy heart like their father. "I-I'm told how dashing I am but wonder why I haven't found a girl. I want love, Ned."
Ned put an arm around him as they walked towards the Great Hall. He told Jaime he'd meet him in the courtyard with Robert. "I see, Rhaegar. Tell me, have you ever courted a girl? Not in the sense of inviting a servant girl to your chambers with Brandon and kissing—I mean walking the godswood and talking, riding with her, meeting her parents…courting, Rhaegar."
He nodded. "Aye, once. She was a beautiful girl from a nice family in the North, but…"
He has much pain in his voice. "What happened?"
They moved past servants and he replied, "She went south, Ned. Her father betrothed her to some nobleman's son in the Vale and I never heard from her again. I fell in-love with her and she did too, I believe. She cried when she saw me for the last time as did I. Gods it broke my heart."
"All men get their heart broken, even the dashing ones." Ned looked to his brother and sighed. Rhaegar was walking slowly and had no heart to say a word. Ned could see it pained him to speak of such things. "I see that you're hurt by this but I have been as well. Casella hurt me terribly, as you know, and Lyanna was there to tend my wounds. But—"
"I see how much happier you're around Jeyne, Ned." Rhaegar and he stopped in their tracks as they entered the Great Hall. It was empty. "I don't think many do save a few, but I notice it. You're happier after you see her and spend time with her. I've kept it to myself to help you and won't tell a soul. I see the way you look at her—the smiles, the hand holding and the like. She's pretty, Ned. Jeyne. I wish for what you two have. I'm sorry and I feel for you. It reminds me of myself and that girl who was taken from me."
Ned's eyes grew heavy. "For what, Rhaegar? Why do you apologize?"
"We don't choose who we love, Ned." Rhaegar's eyes were silver and heavy as they stared into Ned's own.
Ned clapped his shoulder. "I know, Rhaegar. I know."
No words needed to be shared between them and they walked through the Great Hall. His brother was wise and conveyed an understanding between them. It seemed most had noticed this but did not say a word about it. Ned was fortunate for that much but could not change anything based on it. He and Jeyne had to keep acting as if nothing was different, but he had to tell her that others were noticing her happiness. It would be a matter of time until Lyanna caught wind. Have faith, his mind told him. Have faith in all that is happening.
They moved through the tables and Ned asked his brother, "Where are you headed?"
"To have some ale with Brandon and Edric. They wanted to maybe see some servant girls later, but after our conversation I want to think about other things."
Ned replied, "Have fun, Rhaegar. I just advise you to be safe with these gals." He spoke in a whisper now. "Just finish in other places, Rhaegar. If you know my meaning."
He nodded. "I know, I do. Just tell me…how can I find a girl like Jeyne or a Lyanna? Even a Casella? I've never met another because none compared. I felt a real connection with that lass who was taken from me."
Ned smiled. "You know how I feel then with a certain someone. It's special, isn't it? Once you've had it all others seem dull."
"Someone understands me!" Rhaegar seemed very happy. "Yes, I know. Tell me, where do I find a girl like that? Mama would pick the prettiest but doesn't know what I like in a personality."
Ned advised, "Talk to Rhaella, Rhaegar. She would love to help you. Not only would she pick the prettiest but knows what you like. Cat is not very good at these things."
Rhaegar smiled. "You're right! Thank you!" He gave Ned a fierce hug and he returned it in-kind. "I will go speak with her now!"
As Rhaegar walked away Ned shook his head and made his way to the courtyard. When Ned walked outside the sky was a sheet of grey, the winds billowed, and it was snowing. It was not snowing that hard but a fresh blanket of snow was already on the ground. The castlefolk attending their duties were wrapped in the furs with snowflakes trapped in their hair and clothes. Ned wrapped himself a bit tighter for warmth and saw Jaime in the courtyard with Robert. Both men were atop their horses and a third was waiting for Ned. A retinue of twenty men carrying spears and shields were waiting with them. Ned nodded when he saw them and mounted his horse. Jaime's auburn hair had flakes in them whilst Robert kept his hood up although you could see his coal beard sticking out from it.
Jaime gave the order and they trotted through the gate, over the drawbridge and into the Wintertown. The folk of Wintertown were also huddled in groups for warmth whilst some drank warm mead and ate fresh meat. They dipped their heads when the lords past and went back to their conversations.
"Most are beginning to complain of a sickness," Jaime told him as they trotted through the Wintertown. Some people were coughing and spitting while others complained of fever.
"What are their symptoms?" Ned asked.
Jaime replied, "Cough, fever, spitting mucus and running nose. Maester Willem thinks it's something called pneumonia but has not seen it many times save in the winter. He says they're not being adequately warmed."
Ned looked around and saw smoke plumes come out of the stone houses that made up the Wintertown. They saw more sick on the streets and ordered them put into the infirmary in the middle of town. Ned, Jaime and Robert went there to inspect the sick and found many in beds. The infirmary was small and was stacked with filled beds side-to-side. Servant ladies attended the sick while others were being bled or leeched. Jaime went around with a shawl over his face, Ned and Robert did as well, asking how they were fairing. Most said they would beat this sickness while others were not so optimistic. Ned even saw a few of his subjects in there one being an old man named Wyle who had no hair and liver spots on his head. He looked horrible, Ned saw, and talked to him about his farm. It did him no good to speak of the sickness seeing as Wyle was too old to surpass this. Ned knew he would not survive the winter and the thought made him sad. Jaime promised them all that Maester Willem would come see them in the coming days and left the infirmary.
"We need them contained," he ordered the servant girls who were attending the sick. The retinue of Stark men were outside waiting for them. It began to snow harder. "No one may enter or leave the Wintertown from here on out until this is contained. Whatever supplies they need must be brought to them and cleaned upon arrival. It cannot enter the castle walls."
They obeyed the acting Lord of Winterfell and Ned came up beside him with Robert to mount their horses. "We cannot ignore them, Jaime," Ned said in a whisper. "They'll die."
"I'm not ignoring them, Ned." Jaime was standing by his horse, holding the reigns. "We will provide them the treatment they need. But you know as well as I that most will die, and that we cannot have this sickness enter the castle walls. Not only will others contract it and parish, but our family may as well. And I for one will marry my Minisa on the morrow." Jaime mounted his horse as did Ned and Robert. Ned knew he was right.
They turned their horses to go into the market square when an old lady came forward to them. Ned saw she was sick and was walking towards Jaime—she probably wanted to sing his praises. When she neared the horse must have picked up her scent because it began to become frightened. "Whoa, there," said Jaime, softly. He was petting the horses neck but it would not calm down. The horse moved side to side with wide eyes neighing wildly. As the old lady neared it Jaime grabbed the reigns to take control but it was too late. Even the Stark guards were too late in trying to stop the lady when the horse neighed loudly and threw Jaime off violently.
With a huff he hit the ground on his back, but his ankle is what caught under him and turned. Ned saw it happen and his cousins yell of pain could be heard from Dorne to the Gift. Swiftly, Ned and Robert got off their horses and handed them over to two guards. The guards apprehended the old day and the servant girls came forward to inspect Jaime. The soon-to-be Lord of Winterfell was on the ground and clutching his ankle. It was twisted in a wrong direction, Ned noticed and could see his cousin was in a lot of pain. The Stark guards didn't know what to do as the servant girls went inside to bring a stretcher to lay Jaime on along with a wagon to carry him back into the castle.
"Don't just stand there!" Robert barked at the guards. "Go help those servant girls get your lord onto the wagon! GO!"
The guards nodded and did as bid, moving to put furs down on the wagon to help their lord in. Robert looked to Ned with snowflakes in his hair. "Ned, go get Maester Willem and inform him of what's happened. I'm sure he'll want to prepare some things before he attends Jaime."
Ned nodded and was about to go when he saw the old lady brought forward. She was shoved onto her knees as two guards loomed before her. "Mercy, m'lord!" she begged with her hands up and folded together as if in prayer. "I did not mean to offend or spook y'horse! I wanted to say hello to the Lord of Winterfell. Please, spare me, my lord. Please!"
"What should we do with her, m'lord?" asked a guard. "Whip her? Have her beheaded?"
Jaime laid in the wagon propped up by pillows and furs. His face was in-pain but it also conveyed disgust at their proposals. Jaime was no monster, Ned knew, and would not have this lady harmed at all. The old lady was on the ground still quietly begging as Jaime ordered, "No, don't harm her at all. Are you both half-wits to suggest we kill an old lady for something she did not mean? Gods, no wonder I'm lying in this wagon. If you had stopped her, we wouldn't be here right now. No, she's clearly sick so take her to the infirmary."
The guards nodded, stood her up and the old lady blessed Jaime for years and years to come. Jaime said nothing, nodded and grimaced in pain. "Ned!" Robert said, "The maester!"
Ned nodded and mounted his horse. He cantered down the roads and the snow began to fall heavy. Rhaegar! He remembered, suddenly. His brother was coming with Brandon and Edric to have a few ales, but Ned had to warn him about the sickness. He found Rhaegar walking over the drawbridge and warned him about it. Brandon and Edric were disappointed but still said that it was better not to risk it. Ned nodded to them and escorted back, praying that the gods keep him healthy for his family and Jeyne. Sweet Jeyne…
When Ned entered the courtyard his brother scurried into the Great Hall with Edric and Brandon, but saw Jeyne finishing a snowman with Marissa. They were laughing as they did and Ned handed his horse the stable boy. She saw him and came over with a worry on her face. Marissa came over as well and hugged Ned, and then Jeyne hugged him. "What's wrong, Eddard?" Jeyne asked.
"I need to find Maester Willem. Jaime fell from his horse and hurt his ankle."
Both girls grew worried and Jeyne asked, "How is he? What about his wedding?"
"First we need to find the maester."
"But what about his wedding, Ned?" asked Marissa. Ned could see she wanted it to happen because all little girls loved weddings.
"Jaime will still have his wedding, not to fear. He'll just have to be sitting down."
Jeyne kissed his cheek. "Poor Jaime. No matter, I think the maester is in his turret. Come with me." She grabbed his hand and Ned felt a rush at being with her again. Marissa said she would go tell Lady Myrcella and Minisa and was off to go find them.
Ned Stark and Jeyne Targaryen ran to get the maesters turret and when they arrived outside the door he looked around. He saw no one there, it was deserted and the snow too heavy for them to be seen. It was cold as Ned said, "I've been wanting to do this." He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. Ned snaked his arm around her lower back, pulled her closer and their kiss was passionate. She kissed him back and when they broke off both were out of breath. Jeyne wiped something off his face and knocked on the door. As they waited she kissed him quickly.
"Back to normal before he arrives," Ned jested.
Jeyne smiled to herself and replied, "I thought we couldn't do that again, Ned."
"I can't control myself, sometimes. But you're right..." Ned held her hand. "I have to spend more time with Lya, as you know, but I'll balance the two. I feel something is about to-"
The door opened and he could not finish his words, but her hand felt soft in his. Maester Willem smiled brightly when he saw them both, his eyes flickering to their hands held in one another's, and Ned explained what happened. All three rushed down to help the Lord of Winterfell. I again find myself in your arms, he thought but did not grow sad.