CHAPTER 38:

"Personal log, Stardate 2266.11. Five months of skirting the Neutral Zone and keeping almost complete radio silence. Finally we're on our way to Starbase 22 for layover and much needed R&R before we continue in this top secret mission. Of all the usual complications and close calls, none of them were nearly as bad as the very first one on the very first mission. We nearly lost Spock and Khan all at once because of the augment, Rodriguez. It should have been me in Spock's place, but that stubborn Vulcan Logic'd his way into the away team.

"Khan knew that Rodriguez guy had it out for him, so why bring him on the mission? Out of all 14 of his people to choose from? Khan was furious after it happened, so maybe he didn't see it coming… Since then, though, he's since been extremely calm—which worries me even more. There are times when his behavior takes me back to the days when he was just the criminal John Harrison and I was a hot head with a vendetta.

"There are other times when he actually feels like… a friend. Throughout this mission, he's always acted in the interest of the ship and has been good company—when he wasn't being too condescending or throwing his weight around. He's become a crucial member on this ship, his engineering skills are always giving Scotty a run for his money. (Hope he never hears me say that.) And in the few away missions that he and I had been on together, he always had my back.

"The rest of his crew feels like its seamlessly integrated into my own. There's trust and a sense of security. I'd like to think everyone finally realizes we're on the same team here. Khan's people are actually respectful to command on this ship and don't seem to be exhibiting any of the bloated pride I've pegged them for. Of course, Spock makes a point of reminding me of their methodical ways. They're here without much choice and might be cooperative for their own benefit. Who knows what will happen when this mission ends in six months.

"Spock… I can't seem to get him to stop mouthing off to Khan. Bones can call him an emotionless robot all he likes, but Spock's the biggest smart ass I've ever known, human or Vulcan. The way he and Khan find ways to insult each other on a daily basis makes his friction with Bones look like a warm hug. I've seen Spock and Khan at their worst—when all their buttons are pushed—and if that fuse gets lit at the wrong time I worry that it could endanger this whole ship.

"It's rare that I find myself worrying about Spock. I trust him with my life. He's saved it more times than I can count and I'd gladly give it to save his. And Uhura was always there to look out for him when his human side got in the way. I'm pretty sure he's scared of her. But lately, maybe the past four months or so—longer for all I know—they don't seem to be talking much. I've avoided prying, since that hasn't always gone over well for me in the past. If they've broken up, or if they're going to, Spock might need a friend whether or not he'll admit it. I'll beat him at chess, that would cheer him up…"

Beep beep.

A call was coming in and Jim shut off the recorder. He hit the switch.

"Kirk here."

"Captain…" Speaking of Uhura. "I have Rear-Admiral Cartwright…"

"Thanks, Lieutenant. Patch him through."

"Jim." It was only on audio and Cartwright's voice wasn't as pleasing as the former.

"Long time, Admiral," Jim exercised the requisite politeness. "I sent the report. I hope it reached you safe and sound."

"It did. Very thorough, by the way."

"As much as I'd like to take credit for that, you can thank Mr. Spock."

"I will make certain that Mr. Spock, and you as well, get all the deserved commendations."

"Does that include Khan and his people?"

"They're not Starfleet."

"They've been wearing the uniforms for half a year now and have been following every order given to them. They may not have gone to the Academy but they were given an official crash course, if I'm not mistaken."

"Are you saying they should get promoted?" Cartwright openly laughed.

"I just think they've earned some kind of recognition, sir. I've seen them risk their lives first hand."

"Between you and me, Jim, this is more of a penalty than an opportunity of reward for them. They're still classified as war criminals and will continue to be such until their term of service is over. Then we'll be done with them once and for all."

Something clawed in Jim's gut. "You're referring to the amnesty that you offered, right, Admiral?" Maybe he could have been more subtle in his suspicion of his superior officer.

"What else would I be referring to?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Now, the reason I called… Since we began receiving the data through the transmitters you have been planting, we've gotten some phenomenal intel. There is one thing, however, that is more disturbing than anything. The Klingons have something big underway. I am currently putting together a briefing about it and will be contacting you again soon to disclose it. I can only say that it will affect how your missions are directed from here on."

"Yes, sir." That was not comforting news.

"Good hearing you again, Jim."

Cartwright ended the transmission and Jim found himself rubbing at the tension in his temple. He wanted to shake this feeling of having a choke collar around his neck, but then again that sensation was always vaguely present during his time in Starfleet. Following someone else's orders never did feel like it was in his nature.

Loneliness crawled into him like a slow freeze, but it was quickly replaced by the warmth of hope. He didn't have to simply endure loneliness, as he had most of his career and the past few months of radio silence. The Enterprise was permitted to make personal calls, temporarily, and he had been dying to call Carol and David. He finally had someone (besides his mother) to call. From his own console he made a visual call to Regula I.

Carol appeared on the screen, her gold hair down and framing her square jaw, her face free of makeup and looking more beautiful than ever. It reminded him of the days when she would wake up in his bed and a dull ache accompanied the joy of seeing her, even though she had clearly just rolled out of bed to answer the call.

"Jim?" she said groggily, squinting at him through the screen.

"I didn't mean to wake you up…" he couldn't stop smiling, even though he felt genuinely guilty. "We're coming back for layover and can make personal calls, and…"

A smile gradually replaced her sleepiness and she inched nearer to the camera. "No! It's fine, I just… I didn't know when I would see you again."

"I'm sorry. I know how hard it is for you to wait on someone… God, it's good to talk to you again, Carol."

A tiny voice sounded off screen and Carol looked away. She called David over and the child's face popped eagerly onto the screen as he clamored into her lap.

"Daddy!"

Jim never could get used to hearing that and he grinned brightly at the screen. "Hey, buddy! Almost didn't recognize you, you've grown!"

"I can reach the Number 2 replicator now!" the boy said proudly.

"After I told him not to…" Carol screwed her face a little in disapproval, but she wrapped her arms warmly around David.

Jim chuckled. Disobedience was something David easily inherited from both parents, which meant he might have gotten a double dosage in his DNA.

"I've been seeing a lot of Marla," said Carol. "We're reconnecting again, I think. We were fairly close when we first met."

"Really?" That was surprising, considering how cold Carol had become to her in light of their interactions with Khan over the years. "How is she doing?"

"Really well, actually. She tells me that the baby has its father's augmented chromosomes, which are keeping her in peak physical health. It's astounding."

"And the rest of Khan's people?"

Carol thought for a moment and lightly shrugged, adjusting as David (who was still in his pajamas) began to slump against her, eyes getting heavy as the grown-ups conversed.

"I haven't noticed anything. But Marla seems to think they're going to do something drastic. I can't get her to share much, but I'm beginning to think she doesn't know anything. They don't include her at all. I'm her only friend right now…" She trailed off, but he could tell she still had more to say. He remembered the way that she would move her mouth, as if about to speak, before any sounds actually came out. "And… What about Khan? Are you safe?"

"Of course."

"No one's been hurt?'

"Carol, you know I can't talk about it…" Even though he couldn't say anything, he had no desire to tell her about Rodriguez and Spock's near-death.

"Right. Sorry. I can't help worrying."

"Everything is fine, I promise. We'll be home before you know it."

"Not soon enough," she smiled.

"Since I can't say much about what's going on at my end, tell me what you've been up to. Tell me everything." He folded his arms, getting comfortable and ready to hear anything and everything.

"Well… David's gotten quite good at taking things apart. So I've been firmly teaching him how to put them back together."

They laughed together. From there, she told him one tale after another about their son, about her own side projects, about gossip in the science station. They even reminisced a bit about the old days, good and bad. For a while, Jim forgot just how far away they were from each other.

Marla sat on the floor, two tiny hands holding onto her fingers to balance on two fat legs. Nanette was beginning to walk. She mastered crawling a couple months ago and was already putting one foot in front of the other. It was remarkable and Marla was the only one to have this moment of excitement.

"Look at you!" she chuckled and the baby giggled back triumphantly. "Looks like I should get you some running shoes already!"

Nanette wobbled, her sausage legs and dimpled knees nearly buckling under her. But she leaned on Marla's supportive hands and managed to stay upright.

Beep beep.

Someone was calling. She eased Nanette to sit on her rear that was nicely cushioned by her diaper, and she left the baby on the floor with her toys. With some effort, she pushed herself up to her feet one hand on the swell of her belly, the other outward to balance herself a bit. Once she was upright, she was able to walk easily to the console where she hit the button to stop the incessant beeping, expecting to see Carol's face.

Khan appeared.

She was momentarily dumbstruck to meet his gaze through the screen.

"Khan!" she breathed.

A warm smile spread onto his face, a sight so rarely seen that she beamed back at him, her legs nearly giving out under her as she carefully eased herself into the chair in front of the monitor. Her eyes were already stinging with tears of joy, and the last thing she wanted him to see was her hair-trigger emotional state.

"Marla," he purred her name. "How I've missed you…"

He looked well, healthy and not worse for wear since the last time she had seen him 5 months ago. The red operations uniform that he was donning when they parted had been abandoned, and he simply wore the snug black undershirt.

"I still miss you," she admitted shamelessly. "I don't think I could take seven more months of this…"

The warmth in his face darkened, brows furrowing as he inched nearer to the screen. "Is something wrong? Are you being treated badly?"

Only with his sudden concern did she realize how her statement sounded and she laughed, shaking her head. "No, no... Nothing's wrong. I'm doing great, actually. Carol Marcus has been a good friend to me and… Well…"

She was grinning again as she pushed herself back to her feet. She stepped back, far enough from the monitor for him to see her body in full. She turned to show the profile of her full belly, how laughably round she had become since he had last seen her.

"The baby is at least 2 months further along than what's ordinary, but Ferrante promises we are both healthy as can be!"

She had been waiting so long to update her husband, to tell him all the million little things that came with being pregnant with their child—the sensations, the emotions—but that was all she could think to say.

All the lines of his sharp face seemed to have smoothed away as he beheld her, his lips parted, those sharp eyes gaping. The great tyrant looked astonished, at a loss for words. She felt herself blushing self consciously as he looked at her altered body and she moved to gather Nanette into her arms. She returned to her seat in front of the monitor, the infant babbling on her thigh.

"See how big she's gotten, too? I think she'll be talking any day now…"

A faint smile touched his lips as he glanced to the little girl, his gaze on Marla again. "You're beautiful, my love. A welcome sight to weary eyes."

She almost wanted to roll her eyes at his poetry, but she rather missed it. Also, with all the added weight, it chased away the fears that her husband wouldn't like looking at her this way.

"Do you know what it is?" he asked suddenly. "Our baby?"

Yet another detail she had nearly forgotten to tell. There was too much. Marla smiled brightly and nodded, leaving the augment hanging for a moment in the tension. She watched him, calculating and waiting until the second just before he was about to demand that she speak.

"It's a boy," she said simply.

She could see the pride fill him, his chest swelling as he smiled with satisfaction. Khan was old fashioned. Having a male heir meant something more than a female, but Marla suspected her husband would have been proud either way.

"A son…" he said it as though verbalizing it made it more real. "Have you chosen a name?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. Not without you."

He still smiled at her, simply staring and saying so very little. Marla didn't know where to start after so many months of silent separation. She had to access the idle chat function of her brain.

"The mission," she finally spoke through the disorientation of seeing him. "How is the mission going?"

The truth was, she didn't even know what the mission was or what it entailed. All she knew for certain was that it was inevitably dangerous.

"Exceedingly well," he said simply, but the joy was fading fast from his features. "All except for the very first assignment. Rodriguez is dead."

Her stomach dropped into ice so quickly that she felt instantly nauseated. "What?"

"The fool was too eager to have me gone and attempted to kill me on an away mission. He might have succeeded had Mr. Spock not interfered. I detest the Vulcan, but he did save my life."

Marla was having difficulty understanding what she was hearing. "He's dead? What happened? I mean, how did he try to kill you?"

"It isn't important… And I am under orders to not discuss particulars."

That was all the reminder she needed that their conversation was probably being monitored. She still felt sick.

"What do I tell Otto?" her voice trembled as she thought about the man's loss, how he will have to endure the worst case scenario of losing his partner.

"Do not speak to Otto," Khan said gently, but clearly. "Joaquin will be the messenger, it's not your responsibility."

"And… What about the others? Is Gelya alright?"

"She is well," he reassured.

Khan was calm. So calm, in fact, that it took her a moment to realize how unusual that was for him. Rodriguez had apparently attempted to assassinate him and here her husband spoke about it casually. Whatever rage was ignited at the expected betrayal must have cooled months ago. Which meant that Khan had progressed to the next stage of calculation. She suddenly feared for the rest of the dissenters against Khan.

"I'm sure Rodriguez was acting alone," she tried to say it as if it was a passing thought.

"He was alone, but he was acting with the encouragement of all the others."

"Please don't hold them accountable for what he did, they didn't know."

She had no clue whether or not they knew Rodriguez would try to kill Khan. But she had seen guilt by association cause enough unnecessary pain and suffering. After all, her association with Khan had only ever brought her grief from other people.

She could tell by the slow blink of his eyes that he was not even considering her words. "They will get what's coming to them."

A shudder ran through her, a desperate argument ready to claw out of her throat. It wouldn't make a difference, though. She had tried begging him to spare them before and he could not be persuaded in this instance.

So she agreed with silence, averting her gaze as she pretended to look at Nanette, whose tiny puffy hands were reaching for the buttons of the console in front of them.

He glanced off screen, his brow furrowing. "I must go… We have only a little time for personal calls…"

Panic threatened to fill her. "How long until I can talk to you again?" Her voice trembled.

"I can promise nothing," an almost pained look touched his face. "If all goes accordingly, I will be home before the year is over. Then we will all finally be free."

"Please, another minute…" She wasn't ready to say goodbye again.

"Be strong, my love. Our separation is temporary."

"But we're missing out on so much by being apart…" She knew he wouldn't be here when their son was born. He would miss it and it killed her.

"Sacrifices must be made…" his voice dropped at the unwanted truth. "I will call you again, Marla. The next time will not be so painful."

His promise was a grand one, and yet it comforted her. The next time he calls could be to tell her he is coming to get her, and they could go home (wherever that would be). She forced a smile and nodded, but could not stop the tears.

"Before you go, our son needs a name!"

He smiled at the honor. "Dante Aurelius."

"Dante…" she repeated the name, imagining herself saying it a thousand times a day for years to come and she smiled. "I love it… And I love you too…." Her throat was tightening and speaking was becoming difficult. "Come home soon…Goodbye." She wanted to prove to him that she was strong by being the first to say the word.

"I shall. Goodbye."

The transmission ended.

"Rodriguez is dead. You will have to tell Otto."

"Yes, Excellency," Joaquin agreed without hesitation. It was inspiring to see his prince again after such a long time.

"What progress have you made?" Khan was direct.

"I am sure that I've discovered all of the Dissenters that are here on Regula I and have made a list."

He expected outrage, but there was only a wrinkle at the side of Khan's nose of quiet disdain.

"I have also identified the traitors on my end. There are three of them here. When the day arrives, they will all be eradicated at once. There will be no room for the cancer to continue to grow. When the time comes you will have your orders."

"Yes, Lord Khan…" Joaquin knew it needed to be done. It was almost a third of their population, but they were dangerous to the rest. They could not allow any more division amongst themselves.

"On a more personal note, Joaquin…" Khan's voice lost its sharp edge. "Thank you, my friend, for looking out for my wife. I have never known a stronger women, but I fear for her being so outnumbered by our own…"

Khan's love for his wife was admirable, which made it all the more painful for Joaquin to consider telling him what he had seen. That he had witnessed Marla speaking to Otto and heard rumors of her intention to assist the dissenters behind her husband's back.

But these were rumors. Joaquin didn't dare condemn her without proof, or break Khan's heart without proof. And if it was true, Joaquin hoped to spare them both by showing Marla reason without her husband ever having to know. This was one secret he knew he needed to keep from his prince.

"It's an honor and a pleasure, Excellency," he replied with a respectful bow. "Joachim and I have nothing but love for you both."

He was sure he saw the need to smile on his prince's face, but his leader contained it. They soon signed off and Joaquin pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He had to tell Otto that his lover was dead.

He had to keep Marla from betraying her husband.