14:53pm
"So you became an accountant to help your mom, huh?" Astrid said as they walked through the dining quarter where all the fast food restaurants were.
"Well... technically not, I mean... I was studying to be an accountant anyway. But then, well, my dad died and Mom was left with the whole restaurant to run... so in the last few months I had before getting my degree I took a few courses and read a bunch of books on restaurant-specific accounting... just so she could have a little more support, y'know..."
"Hm... right... but didn't your firm make, like, a whole area just for restaurants so you could work on it... or at least, that's what your mom told me..."
"Yeah, I mean... I had nothing to do with that, they just decided to make it since about 90% of my clients were restaurant owners, ha ha... so yeah... you're looking at the representative of Bucket And Mulch Accounting's restaurant resources division..." he snarked in a faux-confident tone as he stood a little taller. "Pretty funny, right?"
Astrid chuckled, saying "I guess... I mean, from what I'm assuming, it seems that your job is basically the same as mine, but you don't have your own show..."
"Well, I don't have to taste their food or look in their kitchens... I just advise on their spending... so I probably have it easier than you have, Astrid..."
"Wouldn't be so sure... some of the people on Flightmares can be just as stubborn with their money as with their recipes... trust me."
"I guess you do have a point... I mean, for the most part my clients are mostly okay with their spending and they're really nice and welcoming to me, but... ugh..."
"What?"
"Nothing, it's just... ha ha, look these... this one place I work for, in fact I literally just started working for them again when you texted today, is owned by quite possibly the biggest narcissist in this entire Archipelago..."
"That's saying a lot, considering your mother..." Astrid chortled slightly.
This prompting Hiccup to roll his eyes as he said "no, no, come on, Mom, she's... she's stubborn, yeah, but she does listen to people she knows she can trust, or just people who make a big enough impression..."
Astrid smirked as he said "I mean, Mom was basically a vegetable when you guys had your little feud that night, Astrid, but... but this girl, she's... she's actually got narcissism... as in, the actual mental illness..."
"Oh, gods... seriously?"
"Yeah. Trust me, I've read up on it... she's basically a textbook example... I mean, she's self-centred, she doesn't listen to anybody, she always wants attention and... and... ugh... and gods, she is so damn entitled!" Hiccup nearly shouted that last part, but managed to contain himself since they were still in a public place.
"Pft... alright, well if she's so horrible, why are you still working for her, then?"
"That's as big a mystery to me as is it to anybody, Astrid..." he snarked. "It was actually the night I got my promotion that I quit first time, because she... uh..."
What the Hel are you doing?! the negative-thinking side of his brain suddenly butted in. Why would you want to tell her about that night with Ruffnut? It's literally the most unmanly thing we've ever fucking done! You want Astrid to like you, she can't know about that! If dressing up like Doctor Who on your first date didn't turn her off, telling her you turned down sex from a woman like some pillow-biter definitely will!
Standing there frozen as he thought this, Hiccup had almost forgotten that Astrid was there with him, jolting back to reality as she nudged his arm and said "Hiccup... because of what?"
He looked at her silently for a good five seconds as she looked at him, noticing that she'd taken off her sunglasses and was clearly concerned for him. He had been almost hypnotised by how beautiful her face and eyes were, but then he finally remembered what they were talking about. "What made you quit?"
"Wait, wh... uh... oh, right. Um... it was, uh, it was nothing important... just a really petty thing..." he lied as he straightened his tie and tried to laugh nervously, but Astrid raised a suspicious eyebrow to imply that she could tell he wasn't being entirely truthful.
Since dragging out this point was clearly making him uncomfortable, Astrid simply smiled and put her sunglasses back on as Hiccup regained his casual, confident tone and added "but anyway... turns out, without me, they employed one of the dudes that bankrupted that Dragon's Eye place..."
"Beard of Thor..." Astrid muttered under her breath. "Take it that didn't end well for them..."
"Oh, it was fine... I mean, aside from the fact that a bunch of their assets just got frozen by the police... but anyway, uh... we agreed that I was the best person to help them through this little slump, but... well... y'know... long story short, she and her brother are a nightmare..."
"Yeah... I know a stressed-out man when I see him, Hiccup..." she patted him on the back comfortingly, before her eyes widened a bit as she had an idea. "Hey, uh... say, do you have a CD player?"
"Oh, yeah, ha ha..." he laughed in a slightly embarrassed tone. "I actually got a really big, stupid music player, and it's also a Karaoke machine, from my buddy Snotlout at work for Snoggletog lasty year... it's in my apartment in my Gifts I Can't Return box... so why'd you ask?"
"Cause I know just what you need... come on!" she said excitedly as she took his hand and started pulling him somewhere else in the Mall.
15:17 - Floor 1 - Powell's Record Store
Hiccup stood silently behind Astrid, holding her sunglasses for her as she looked through the B section of the A-Z shelves of CDs available to buy. "Astrid, maybe it'd be nice if you told me exactly what we're doing here..."
"I'm getting you a coping mechanism..." she snapped impatiently as she got back to searching through the shelves. "Alright... Bellamy Brothers, Ben E. King, Bent Fabric... AH-HA! This is the one!"
She grabbed one of the CDs off of the shelf and held it up for Hiccup to see. Ben Folds: Rockin' The Suburbs - Karaoke Edition.
"Folds, huh? Well, my dad was a big fan of his..."
"Great. Now you need to buy this."
"Buy it? Uh... why?"
"Because when I get really, really stressed out, Hiccup, I do one of two things to vent it. One of them is basically fucking myself..."
"That's nice..." he snarked.
"And the other is singing along to an awesome, aggressive rock song. And this song is the best for the job."
"Pft... look, Astrid, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm not getting that CD..."
"Hiccup!" she suddenly reverted to the stern persona she normally saved for her shows. "Either you buy this CD, or I'm buying it for you. And I've already got a copy of it anyway, so you're gonna have to have it."
"Alright, alright! Fine, okay..." he passed her the sunglasses and took the CD off of her. "I'll get it, Astrid... but only because I don't want you to get mad at me for not getting it..."
"Hm... well, as long as you're getting it..." she put her sunglasses back on and crossed her arms confidently. When he saw her strike this distinctly... Astrid pose, he wondered how he ever could have failed to recognise her, even with her wig and sunglasses.
Nevertheless, he got out his wallet and extravagantly said "alright... this is me... buying a Ben Folds CD, because a celebrity chef who I call by her first name is making me do it!"
"Gods, Hiccup... it's good music... what's the point of even complaining?!"
15:30 - Floor 2 - Hidden World Cineplex
"Well... that was crap..." Cami grumbled under her breath as she and Heather stepped out of the finished screening for the all-female Dragonbusters reboot.
"Yeah... can't really say much else, ha ha..." Heather grumbled back. "I mean, I don't like Dragonbusters as a franchise anyway, but I thought you'd love it..."
"I know, I know... I read the reviews, and I heard about people walking out, but... ugh..." Cami groaned as she put her hand to her face. "But I just thought they were just a bunch of stupid old men being misogynists... but they weren't kidding. That was a pile of..."
"Holy shit!" Heather quickly ran to the balcony, looking across to the Record Store on the lower floor. Cami was confused by this, saying "uh... what's up?"
"It's Hiccup! Look!" Heather pointed excitedly as Cami squinted to see Hiccup standing at the till for the Record Store with an auburn-haired woman in sunglasses. The pair walked out of the shop with the woman taking Hiccup's hand and leading him excitedly to the empty hallway next to the exit.
"Who's that lady he's with?" Cami asked as Heather shrugged, before they both went wide-eyed as the woman's speed caused the wig to fall off her head and exposed her familiar golden hair, prompting her to dart quickly into the hallway so nobody could see her. They kept watching as Hiccup picked up the wig, laughing as he went to the woman in the hallway and held it for her with a smile.
"Excuse me, milady, but I believe you dropped something..." Hiccup snarked as he held the wig for Astrid to take.
She took off her sunglasses and took the wig out of his hand with a smug grin, saying "my hero..." as she grabbed his tie and dragged him into a kiss.
"Holy fucking moly!" Cami's jaw dropped as she saw this. "He's fucking Astrid Ho-whoa!"
Heather covered her friend's mouth and dragged her into an empty corner of the higher dining area. "Shut up! Don't draw attention to them..."
"But he's..."
"I know, he is! I know, because he told me..."
"What? You knew?!"
"Yes!" Heather said in slight annoyance. "But we can't breathe a word of it to Ruff! You understand?!"
"Pah! Fuck Ruffnut! I'd never tell her shit anyway!" Cami snapped excitedly. "Hiccup's got a girlfriend, and she's a celebrity chef, Heather! This is fucking great!"