Chapter 35

"I'm sorry, Gene, you're on your own this time," Simon shook his head. Held spent ten minutes listening to Gene give a wholly over-descriptive and not-very-Shoebury-friendly description of his encounter in his coma world with 2007 Alex. Simon didn't know what to tell him. For one thing he was annoyed that Gene had cheated on someone again, no matter who it was with.

"Didn't you learn your lesson the last time?" he'd cried accusingly.

"I did learn one lesson." Gene told him, "used a bloody rubber johnny this time. You were the best advert for contraception I've ever seen."

"Thanks a fucking bunch!" Simon had cried, offended in more ways than he could express.

But for another thing he really couldn't wrap his head around what Gene had done. He had never experienced whatever Gene had been through; a world beyond his own. He supposed this was what it had been like for Robin trying to understand the tangibility or otherwise of the place after he'd returned from 1985. He'd never really been on the other side of it before.

He didn't know how to try to balance out Alex 2007 with Alex 1997, and he couldn't be certain that Gene hadn't opened a whole can of paradoxes, or he would have done if paradoxes even came in cans.

"But," he said to Gene eventually, "the Alex you took to bed in two thousand and seven isn't the one wearing your ring on her finger."

Gene nodded slowly. That was true. She wasn't.

"Need to get me head straight on this one," he said, "make yourself scarce."

"Make myself scarce?" cried Simon, "who am I, some annoying flatmate you want to get rid of for the night?"

"Wasn't too far from the truth not so long ago," Gene reminded him.

Eventually, shaking his head, Simon left and Gene was once again alone to try to take on board what both he and Alex had done.

~xXx~

Alex had been walking for what felt like hours. In reality it had been twenty minutes, if that, but her mind had covered so many topics that it felt like so much more time had passed. She wasn't even in the best state for this. She'd had almost no sleep except for a few moments in Gene's room, she'd had nothing to eat since the previous lunchtime and she'd drunk nothing but coffee – and most of that she was now wearing down her top.

She felt weak and exhausted physically but that was nothing compared to the mental and emotional exhaustion she was feeling. She knew she was wrong not to tell Gene sooner and she had always expected him to feel hurt but the circumstances were highly unusual and she had needed it so much. She felt guilty that she didn't regret it. More guilty about that than she felt about it happening in the first place.

She pulled her jacket around her as she walked back to the hospital, more for security than anything. She didn't really feel cold, even though it wasn't the warmest of days. Her body felt numb to the elements. Numb to most everything. She didn't even feel the hunger gnawing inside her, if it wasn't for the growling of her stomach she wouldn't have even realised it had been so long since she had last consumed solid food. She felt so angry with herself for getting into the situation in the first place. If she'd only told him sooner then Keats would have had nothing over her and they could have worked through it in their own time. Being forced to admit the truth to a weakened Gene who had just awoken and was suffering the effects of a severe head injury was the very worst way she could imagine the truth to come out.

Her head drooped sadly as she returned to the hospital and made her way through the building. She knew that, whatever Gene had said, thy needed to talk. She couldn't bear Gene being so angry with her. She'd feared the very worst about his condition, thought she was about to lose him – she wasn't going to lose him through this either.

She arrived at the doorway to his room and immediately could see a difference in his expression. She expected more anger facing her; instead he looked slightly sheepish, almost guilty himself. She knocked unnecessarily and took a step inside.

"Is it safe to come back now?" she asked.

Gene blinked.

"I'm not going to throw the blood pressure machine at you, Bolly," he said, a little awkwardly.

Alex walked slowly towards him, fearing with every step that he was about to unleash fury on her but he seemed surprisingly quiet and subdued.

"Alright," she said quietly with a little false bravado, "let's hear them."

Gene stared at her.

"Hear what?"

"Al the new insults you've created for Kim while I've been gone," Alex told him, "Come on, you must have put something together."

"Why should I bother?" Gene asked, "it was you and Stringer putting things together, apparently."

"See, I knew it –" Alex thought it felt a little like banter but she couldn't be sure. Was this just from anger? She walked cautiously to his side and sat by the bed. "Talk to me?" she said quietly, "Please? I'm torturing myself enough, I don't need you to do it too." When he didn't respond she started to grow frustrated. "Come on, Gene, at least tell me what's on your mind."

"What's on my mind?" Gene repeated with a harsh tone, "what's on my mind is that you must have had the taste of metal in yer mouth for three weeks after that. You must have gone through a bottle of mouthwash in a day."

Alex tried to force a smile but it didn't come. Gene was clearly still angry and she really didn't have the stomach for hearing insults directed at Kim.

"A proper conversation?" she asked.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the information with which you have furnished me, Drakey," Gene told her.

"What do you mean?"

"Anyone else... You could have had yer pick of the female population of Fenchurch East... Shaz, Susannah, Marci... even the woman with the fat arse and a lifetime's supply of sprouts... but you have to bust the bedsprings with bloody Metal Mickey, don't you?"

"What -?"

"How am I supposed to use that on a dark and lonely night?"

"Gene! I'd expected you to -"

"Bloody Stringer? Was there even enough of her body left that wasn't galvanized?"

"Gene!"

"I can't fap to that."

"Fap? Gene where did you even learn that word?"

"Even Batman wears more eyeliner than she does."

Alex stare at Gene, open-mouthed and wide eyed.

"Gene!" she cried, "I thought half an hour ago you were furious at me for…" she swallowed, not quite able to admit to what she'd done, "now I find out you're only pissed off that I didn't…" she swallowed again, "with someone you find more aesthetically pleasing?" she frowned, "and, for some worrying reason, saw fit to include Robin in that list."

"Make up your mind, Alex," Gene said crossly, "you want me not to be pissed off with you for drinking from the furry cup, then you want me to? "

"I don't want to feel like a segment in Reader's Wives!" cried Alex, "I just wanted you to… maybe… try to understand what it was like for me."

As soon as Alex said those words Gene froze, a sense of guilt stabbing him inside. Like Alex, he'd always known that he needed to confess. But unlike Alex his confession was coming all too soon.

"I do," his voice was low and Alex wasn't sure she'd heard him right.

"What did you say?"

Gene cleared his throat.

"I said I do," Gene repeated, "understand."

At first Alex thought he simply meant he was trying to see why events had taken the turn they did between her and Kim but as she watched his eyes shifted guiltily and she could see there was more to it.

"You…" she paused and cleared her throat, "you seem to want to tell me something." She waited for him to respond but all he did was to look increasingly guilty. "Gene, I know you. There's something there." She paused and looked at him sincerely. "Just tell me."

Gene stared at her, wishing that he was wearing something other than a smock and a bandage. It diluted his authority somewhat. He pursed his lips for a moment before he said,

"Stand up."

Alex frowned, completely confused what good that would do.

"Gene, I'm not –"

"Just do it," he told her.

Alex wasn't happy about being ordered around but got to her feet.

"Now what?" she asked.

Gene beckoned her with his finger.

"Come here."

Feeling a little wary Alex took a step forward, unsure where this was leading. To her surprise Gene reached out and slowly peeled up the bottom of her shirt.

"What –" she began but stopped as his finger traced the tiny tattoo on her stomach. She swallowed as she felt goosebumps appear on her arms and she looked down to his fingers just as he tried to catch her eye.

"Your bit of skirt did a nice job with this," Gene told her and she drew back with a look of distaste on her face.

"Gene, enough insults," she told him, but that wasn't Gene's point.

"Didn't understand why you wanted to remember yer scar," he told her, "worst day of me bleeding life, seeing you fall with a bullet from my gun lodged in yer guts."

Alex looked at him seriously.

"It was a reminder. It felt like having you with me all the time," she said quietly.

Gene dropped the fabric and looked back at her.

"Where did you go, Drake?" he asked.

Alex's expression became confused and fraught.

"When?"

"You were out cold for three months," Gene reminded her, "said you 'ad a dream. Thought you were home." He noticed the look on her face falling as she sank back into her chair. "You never told me more than that."

"There's not much to tell," Alex gave a weak smile that was wholly false, "I woke up and I thought I was home. There were doctors, and Molly, but," she flinched, "you were calling me back. Right there, all around me. Yelling for me. Calling my name." she looked him in the eye, "and you never stopped calling."

Gene breathed slowly. He wished this wasn't so hard.

"Sounds like you and Metal Mickey shared more than a bed," he told her.

"Oh, just stop," she hissed crossly before his words sank in, "What… what do you mean?"

Gene looked at her seriously.

Only heard this from a friend of a friend," he said, "I don't know much. When Jimbo sank a bullet into her neck she was out cold. Thought she was home, too. Turns out she was wrong."

Alex bit her lip.

"Are you saying that's what happened to you?" she asked quietly. Gene didn't respond but his silence confirmed it. "But Gene, you already know you're not alive out there. How could you have thought you'd gone home?"

"I didn't," said Gene, "I knew I wasn't. Thought I was going mad.. Or in a coma." He paused, "Or forward in time."

"Forward?" Alex frowned, "you didn't go back to the year you were killed?"

"Bols, I outlived you," he said, "two thousand and twelve. April. Biggest bloody April fool I've ever seen, I'll tell you that. I thought me brain had been fried. I was in someone else's life and didn't know how to get out." He shook his head. "Finally I knew what it was like. Might have to ease up with the filing cabinet for a while."

"Shit, Gene," Alex leaned forward, "this is more serious than I realised."

"I went through a big steaming pile of dung out there," Gene told her, "You wouldn't believe half of it."

Alex leaned in closer. Suddenly everything else was forgotten.

"Try me," she said quietly.

Gene pulled in his breath.

"I was there to learn a lesson," he told her, "about me world. Truth is, I didn't really believe in it any more. That wasn't helping. Keats starts flipping out and I start falling apart. Not really compatible," he sighed, "so I was shown the error of me ways."

"This sounds suspiciously like three ghosts territory," said Alex.

"Wrong story," said Gene, "I got a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion though."

Alex started to eye up the alert button.

"Maybe it's time for more pills," she said.

"Will people stop trying to pump medicine down me neck?" cried Gene. He gave another sigh. "I started in two thousand and twelve. Saw the news. The bloodbath. Stringer was in a bed down the hall, fighting for her life. Took me too long to realise what was about to take place and arrived at Batman's door in time to see your friend Mister Layton with gun cocked, ready to fire. Grabbed the gun off the bastard but," he flinched, "things went wrong. I fired it. Shot him."

"Layton?"

"Robin."

Alex swallowed, almost more shocked at Gene using Robin's name than the fact he'd shot him.

"But… that's not possible," she said, "Robin told us… he said Layton –"

"Yes, he did," said Gene, "Stumped me as much as you. Knew I wasn't there the first time… couldn't have been… still crapping myself though so I legged it, right into the path of a car that launched me into space." He slapped his fist into his palm, "bang – out for the count again. Woke up back in hospital with another name and another life. Took flight and felled the tree that sent Shoebury on a permanent transfer. The list went on, Lady B, one after another. Stringer, Tyler – I know how it sounds, but before you try to call for more blue and white pills remember what it was like for you when you opened yer eyes to the eighties."

Alex stared at him. She had to admit that she'd thought for a moment that Gene was going crazy but she knew what he said was true. She had gone through the same thing on her arrival. Those entering their world couldn't prove whether it was real or not. Gene's experience was no different.

"Go on," she whispered.

"I needed help, Bols," Gene said grimly, "only one person I could trust."

Alex stared at him?"

"Who?" she asked. He stared back. It took a moment for her to realise. "Me?"

"Two thousand and six," he said, a little distantly, "I'd just sent Sam Tyler off to the land o' nod in me car. Drove all the way down to find you."

"What… did I say?" Alex realised that was one of the more surreal questions she'd ever asked.

As Gene prepared to answer he was surprised by the wealth of emotion the memory stirred up. He looked her right in the eye and said,

"I'll give you this, Bols. You're a bloody good psychiatrist."

"Psy-"

"I know, I know, I'm taking the piss," Gene closed his eyes. "Couldn't tell her the truth. Would have had me locked away faster than Rick Astley rolls down a hill. But even telling her the bare bones…" he paused, "telling you… the bare bones… " he realised he had no idea whether he should be describing Alex 2006/7 as 'her' or 'you'. If only his resident expert on parallel universes, alternative version wotsits and

multiple dimension crap hadn't resigned. "Cut right to the root of it. My guilt. I'd started blaming meself for everything. Went to a world that put me literally in that place. Responsible for bringing the to this world. Couldn't wake up and get home until I stopped blaming myself and started seeing the bloody up-side of me world again."

Alex felt as though she'd been gripped by a storyteller. She stared him.

"And how did you get home?" she asked.

Gene looked away. It was geting harder to talk about it now.

"Car sent me to sleep again. Woke up a year later, Watched Sammy-boy plunge to his doom. To the doom of staring at my ugly mug for the next seven years." He paused. "Guess who turned up to investigate his splat zone?"

Alex began to shrug, wondering how he expected her to know when suddenly a memory clicked into place and her eyes rapidly widened.

"I did," she whispered, "I went.. I…" she stared at Gene, "You saw me again?"

Gene looked down.

"I did," he said.

Alex stared on. There was something in his expression that she hadn't seen before. It made the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. She hesitated, biting on her lip.

"You…" she flinched, "you did more than just see me again," she whispered, "didn't you?" She watched him give one solitary, guilty nod. It churned her up inside and sent acid bubbling to her throat. "Oh my god, Gene, you didn't…" her face fell as she stared at him, "please tell me you didn't."

He changed a glance in her direction. The look on her face left a crack down his heart.

"It was you, Bolly," his voice was strained.

"But it wasn't me," Alex said quietly, "I'm me . that was some other Alex. Someone who'd never been here, Never been through what I've been through. " she paused, "someone who doesn't know you inside and out." She slowly got to her feet and turned around. Her heart was pounding and her mouth grew dry. She couldn't quite bring herself to look at Gene. She couldn't understand all of what he'd told her but what she did know was that her heart was sinking fast.

"I missed you," Gene said gruffly.

Alex flinched

"That didn't seem to be a valid argument for me so why should I let you use it?" she said quietly.

"Big difference, Bollinger Knickers," Gene pointed out, "I missed you and walked into another you. You can forgive me for getting confused. Can't pretend you jumped into bed with Meal Mickey and said; 'Ooh, Guv, you didn't have this pierced last me I saw you'." Alex just stayed standing, staring at the ground as Gene continued, "Come on, Bols. Let's face it. We did the same thing. We both did the same thing. Place we didn't know. Lonely and scared. Looked to the first familiar face for some support."

"One of us found someone more familiar than the other," Alex said quietly.

"Trying to bring the peace back, here," Gene said accusingly, "stop shitting on my olive branch like a dove with a case of the squits."

Alex turned around. She looked back at him.

"That wasn't my intention," she said quietly.

A long and difficult silence followed and neither knew how to break it. It was Gene who finally said,

"If you want to scream me ears to shreds then do it, but I'm not in the mood for the silent treatment."

"I'm not giving you the silent treatment," Alex said quietly, "I'm thinking."

"About what? The next robot you're going to romance? Win them over with a can of oil and a set screwdrivers?"

Alex ignored him.

"I was thinking about her," she whispered, "the other me."

She finally looked Gene in the eye again.

"What part of her exactly were you thinking about?" he asked stiffly.

Alex looked away.

"I was thinking," she whispered," of how much I envy her."

Gene hesitated. There was a strange look on Alex's face.

"It was one time, Bolly,." He said.

"I don't mean that," Alex whispered. She looked at him again and swallowed a little nervously. "She's already met you. She already knows. She understands. One day she's going to wake up in nineteen eighty one, see you pull up in the mighty Quattro and feel safer than she's ever felt in her life. She's not going to wake in the eighties feeling scared and alone. She's going to know you, not Sam-Tyler-pre-splat's version of you. Not something she's read in his notes and listened to on his tapes. She's going to know you."

Gene hesitated.

"Not quite the same 'me' though, is it?" he said, "you've had sixteen years to work yer magic on me. I've changed. Had to. She's going to meet the me that you were quick to sink yer right hook into."

A touch of a smile flickered across Alex's lips.

"But it's still you," she whispered, "and she'll understand. And she'll know who, one day, you will become."

She felt her head droop a little as she recalled her daunting first days in Gene's world and all she'd gone through to adjust. She wished she could have allowed herself to be absorbed by the world sooner. She had fought it for so long. She regretted that now. The look on her face moved Gene and no matter what they had been through that day he held out his hand and said

"Come here, Bols." She glanced at him, surprised to see his expression had softened. With a little hesitation she moved towards him and sat down by his bed again, taking his hand. He looked at her seriously, his eyes fixed upon hers. "I know you, Bolly. I know me. We can either yell the crap out of each other for days about this and waste more time. Or we can chalk this one up to parallel arsehole reality bollocks and move on."

Alex's brow furrowed as she looked at his expression.

"That's a bit of a mature attitude for you," she said.

"Yeah, well," he scratched his nose, "I, er, saw a good psychologist while I was away." The slap across the arm was probably deserved, he told himself as his skin stung but there was a hint of a smile on Alex's face now which he reflected. "I am sorry, Alex. My trousers did the talking for me. But it's your own fault for being such big bag of bloody sexual magnetism."

"This is where you make a joke about magnets being attracted to Kim, isn't it?" Alex narrowed her eyes but a hint of a laugh threatened to burst through. They both knew that the matter was far from over and there would be things they'd have to bring into the open and talk about as time moved on. But they also knew that neither could hold a barrel of blame over the other when there were such parallels in their behaviour. They'd both done exactly the same thing – searched for warmth an affection from someone familiar while they were lost and alone in a strange world, trying to fight their way home.

"I need you to be straight with me," Gene told Alex seriously.

"Is that another dig?" she frowned.

Gene rolled his eyes.

"Why do you think every word that leaves me trap is going to be aimed at you and Stringer?" he demanded.

"Because most of them have been," Alex reminded him.

Gene shook his head.

"Not this time," he said, "but I do need to know," He hesiatetd. "Is this… something I need to know about you, Bolly?" he paused, "Metal Mickey… was this a flash in the pan? Or is it something that's always been there?" he saw Alex look down slightly anxiously. "Come on, I've got a bloody department full of rainbows, I've learned me lesson in tolerance. Not going to throw you out on yer arse for it, am I?"

"I don't know," Alex said quietly, "I mean, I don't know about me. Not about being thrown out on my backside." She shook hr head slowly. "I suppose, sometimes…" she trailed away.

"Is this where you tell me you've been drooling over Scully in Shoebury's sci-fi magazine collection?" asked Gene.

"Everyone drools over Scully," Alex said with a slight smile, "it's just the way it is." Her smile faded as she looked at him seriously. "I don't know, Gene. I just know that I'm not scared to find out new things about myself any more. And every now and then, in the past…" she looked away. "Maybe Shaz was right when she said we're all a little of both."

"Speak for yerself," Gene mumbled.

"You were the one putting Robin and his eyeliner on the list above Kim," Alex reminded him.

"I was trying to make a point."

"That's what worries me…"

Gene shook his head and growled.

"Lady B, when I get out of here we're going to have to have serious words about yer taste in the fairer sex," he said, "there are plenty of examples out there of classy birds who can get caught in the rain without worrying about rust –"

Another clout for his troubles, Gene relaxed visibly to see a little smile and spark come back into Alex. Times had been rough for both of them over the last few months and there were still things they would have to work through, but they both knew they would be alright, because they always were. They had to be – they were supposed to be together no matter what or where or how many worlds and dimensions they had to go through. Gene was once again back in his own world with Alex at his side, and as he grew stronger once again so their bond would do the same.

~xXx~

A/N: So no one came after me with a gun and a barge for this yesterday… which was a surprise… so today I got brave and posted a, uh, missing chapter as a new fic, "Closer Than Close". Obviously femmeslash; if that's not your thing, don't read it. If it is, I hope you'll take a look :)