The slow, constant sound of a beeping echoed into my ears. My world has become so dark.

Am I even awake?

No... I could feel it. I could feel my eyelids resting ever so gently on top of my eyes. I was asleep. But at the same time... I was awake. Perhaps I do not want to know about what will happen to me. Perhaps I don't want to see the faces of those I have saddened. I tried to move my hands to sit up but I couldn't. My body doesn't want to move. My left had twitched. I was holding something in my hand. Could it be a gift of some sort? My hand twitched some more, and I felt something the edge of the object with my thumb. It was some sort of V like opening. Ah, now I understand. It's one of my paper airplanes. One of my beloved letters.
My world has become so cold and dark... Like being shut into a freezer.

But now I have a speck of light, thanks to the letter in my hand.

I suddenly hear a slow sound of a door sliding, intertwining with the beeping. I can't open my eyes. It seems that my body doesn't want me to see the face of the person entering. Footsteps walked into my room, slowly and quietly. As if they were trying not to awaken me. The footsteps came to a stop. Who could it be? Who was watching over me as I appeared to sleep?

"Hey there kiddo" a raspy voice whispered. I recognized that voice. It belonged to that kind nurse who took care of me when Gu-chan was away. Why was her voice so raspy?

"I, um... I don't know if you can hear me, but uh..." she began. I could imagine her with tears in her eyes right now. But why...?

"It's been approximately three hours and fifty minuets since Gumi had brought you inside. You, um... The doctors... They said that you should have a wake by now so..." The nurse cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"So... Since you, uh... Haven't waken up... People will be coming by... Because..." She stopped for a moment. All I could hear was the clock ticking and the beeping echo into my ears. What was she doing?

The room had gotten so quiet, that I heard a soft sound of something hitting the ground. Then another quickly after it. Then I heard the nurse make some sort of muffled sob. She was crying. I could hear muffled sobs and deep breaths every now and then, following the soft sound of tears hitting the floor. After a moment, the nurse took a deep breath and sniffled. She cleared her throat and began again.

"Um... As I was saying... People will be coming over because... The doctors say that you most likely will not make it." She sniffled again and took another deep breath.

"So um... I guess that makes me the first visitor." I felt something touch my hand and slowly began to hold it. I felt tears forming at my eyes. This was the end for me...? After I told a nasty lie and left the boy... This is how I end my life? This... This is where my book comes to a close?

"Miss Rin..." the nurse whispered. She cleared her throat and continued, "You... are the bravest child I have ever met. Most children... They just want to take a something to get better and then go play. But you..." She paused and softly began to chuckle. "You are just as stubborn as your mother," the nurse finished.

With that, the nurse left. And just like she said, people came to visit me. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could imagine them crying over me.

The second person to visit me was a kind old woman who I had visited often when I was a child. She said that she missed our little chats. She promised me that the first thing I would get was a plate of freshly baked brownies that would melt in my mouth with each bite.

After her was a young boy who I sent get well candy to when he first arrived. If I could, I would chuckle and gently pat his head. He gave his favorite candy, and told me to get well soon. His favorite candy being a lollipop. It was even his favorite color, blue.

After him was a little girl who said that she gave me a balloon with a smiley face on it. Then came my tutor who made me want to laugh. She gave me five worksheets of foil practices. She also left behind a pencil that she bought that was bright blue and pink. It was so bright and cheerful. She said it reminded her of me.

Then it was all of the nurses who have treated me. Or ones that I have said hello to in the halls when I was younger. I never realized until now about how many people I have impacted. Back then, when I was just a child, I would wonder the halls and talk with everyone I met. I would visit people in their rooms and chat with them. But my father caught me and told me to stay in my room.

Now that I think about it... My father hasn't visited me yet. Neither has Gu-chan. What has kept them? Perhaps they don't want to bother themselves with me. Or maybe they were too busy. Either way is fine with me. I don't want to be a bother to them anymore. As the sounds of ticking and beeping echoed into my ears, I began to think about the boy.

Was I a fool for pretending to be strong? Should I have not sent him that letter of lies? Was I a fool for trying to make his worries disappear? Did his worries disappear?

It doesn't matter. All I want is for him to be smiling... Smiling at his bright future. I felt my tears get bigger. Am I a selfish being? Selfish for wanting to see the boy smile again... At me.

I guess it's too late now.

As my tears got heavy, I heard the door slide open. Another visitor. Who is it this time, I wonder. The footsteps crept over to me and stopped. After a moment, I felt one side of my bed being lowered. My hand made impact with something soft. Someone sat on my bed next to me.

"Good evening miss Rin... It's seven thirty right now..." a familiar voice whispered.

It was Gu-chan.

"Sorry for taking so long..." she chuckled. Her voice was so soothing, It always made me feel better. But that voice will tell me something I don't want to hear... Gu-chan will say something sad like "goodbye" or "get well soon". She'll probably say something similar to the others.

"Miss Rin..." she began. "It's only been a day since I have gotten to work beside you again... And look what happens." Gu-chan began to chuckle. I could imagine her gentle smile, tears forming in her eyes. But somehow... I felt that she wasn't sad at all. The tears I visioned on Gu-chan's face disappeared.

"Do you know the saying, 'goodbyes are so bittersweet'? Oh wait... The saying was 'love is so bitter sweet' wasn't it?" I heard a soft clunk after a moment. I imagined that Gu-chan hit her head with her wrist after realizing her mistake. If I could I would begin to chuckle. Gu-chan knew she was too old to do something like that.

After a moment, I felt Gu-chan gently grab my hand and held it. She began to rub my knuckles. "Rin," she began, "I have known you for fourteen years and seven months. Two of those months, you weren't even born yet." Gu-chan slowly stopped rubbing my knuckles.

"Your hands were once the size of my pinky. But a lot fatter and rounder. And now... They have matured into real hands. Ones that have healed so many people's hearts. Like mine."

I felt my hand that Gu-chan is holding flinch. I have healed her heart? How? And more importantly, when? Gu-chan gigged her usual giggle and put my hand next to my body.

"I didn't know you were listening" she said softly. Though my eyes were closed and face was numb, I think I was able to smile past the air mask that laid on my mouth.

"You healed my heart twice. The second time was when you forgave me for abandoning you when you needed me," Gu-chan began. "And the first time was about... Four years ago. I came to you one morning, smiling as I usually did. But you saw through my mask and ask what was wrong. Do you remember?"

I remember. Gu-chan came into my room one day when she wasn't supposed to and smiled a fake smile at me. She said that she had let down the whole hospital. Gu-chan was in charge of shipments that were suppose to come in that day, but Gu-chan wrote the date wrong. Instead of writing that day's date, she wrote the next day's date. Everyone was furious at her and said she should be fired. Some people even sent complaints up to my father. I told her not to worry and she cheered up in a flash.

Gu-chan took a deep breath before continuing.

"You were such a bright kid back then," she began. "Well you are still a bright kid, but you know what I mean. That day, I was so upset I said that I was going to transfer to another hospital. But you told me something... You told me that it was 'too early for goodbyes'. You also said that the only way for me to be a better nurse was to improve from my mistakes. I did what you told me and now look. I haven't made a single mistake since then."

Gu-chan's words began to trail off until the room returned to it's ticking and beeping state. I wasn't asleep because I tried to move my hand over to Gu-chan. She didn't need the support. I did.

After a moment or so, Gu-chan continued. "Well miss Rin... I'm going to say the same thing to you. It's too early for goodbyes." I felt something slowly brush my bangs off my forehead.

"I know that you can over come this. Your a strong girl. A brave girl. But... It's not up to me to say where you will end up" Gu-chan whispered. With that, I felt Gu-chan kiss my forehead and walk out of the room. The tears that were to heavy for my eyes began to slowly fall.

Could I be able to fight this? Am I strong enough to fight this. Do I want to fight this? I don't know. All I want... Is to see the boy again. If these are the last moments that draw near... Would I be able to meet him? It seems that as each minuet passes by, I could feel something draw closer to me. I wonder what it is... I start to hear the sound of the beeping come at strange timing, slowing down from the clock's ticking. The paper plane that I have been holding onto for a while now, I can feel it slowly slipping from my hand. I flinch, trying to regain my grip, but it only made the paper plane escape from me.

I slowly opened my eyes. And there, I stood in my white summer dress, pink shawl, summer hat, and white pearl shoes. I slowly looked up. The sky's are gray. Not a single ray of sunlight shone threw the dark heavy clouds. I slowly glanced down to the ground. I was standing in a grassland.

Nothing but grass as far as the eye could see.