The Red Light

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

A/N: I'm posting this at the same time, yes, but for a good reason. It was all one chapter split in two for easy reading.

Chapter 36 (From the Heart)

When Carly and Douglas entered the private room, Douglas sat on the leather chair and Carly moved to the bed. She folded her arms over and stared away from him, unsure if she really wanted to give him a lap dance. The fact that he wasn't requesting one or making any movements told her he wasn't interested.

He tilted his head and scanned her up and down, he hadn't actually seen her body in a long time. He missed the feel of their bodies pressed together. His lips curled downward and he pushed the thought from his mind. She turned her eyes to him and lifted her hands up to let her hair down and get comfortable. "What are you doing here, Doug?"

"What? I can't come see how your new job's going?" Carly rolled her eyes and moved her body into a sideways position on the bed, propping her head onto her hand and elbow onto the bed.

"No. You want something. I know you do…I'm still pissed at you, and for more than one reason."

"Besides the whole break up thing?" She clicked her tongue and sighed, recalling how cold and cruel he was. He hardly seemed to show any remorse, but given what she learned about him, remorse might be a hard thing for him to show. "Let's get to one thing at a time…"

"Doug, I know what you did to Sam. I saw it on the news, you hurt her. I know you're aggressive, but you had no right to hurt my friend, my sister." Douglas froze slightly and closed his eyes, her tone was an accusing one, and for some reason, it made him recoil and sink down in guilt. "I know you want her to be involved in the porn business, I know she was one of your best moneymakers, but please…if she's trying to quit, then let her. Her clients might find out where she is and try to convince her to return, she'll say no most likely, but she doesn't need all the stress. She doesn't need it from them and she definitely doesn't need it from the likes of you."

"I can see why you'd say that…I guess if she's going to quit, she's going to quit. There's nothing I can do if she's already made up her mind…" He slowly stood from the chair and walked over to a painting on the left side wall. Carly raised her eyebrow as he rubbed his chin and eyed the painting. It was a beautiful portrait by Mexican artist Paul David Bond, an unusual painting to be hanging in a strip club. He rubbed his chin and smiled at the serene image.

It was of the sunset in the sky, a beautiful orange and pink air surrounded at the bottom by greyish white clouds. A line of birds was flying across the left of the painting towards the center. Up in the top right corner of the painting was where a bright light shone through a spiral shaped cloud. He found himself slowly getting lost into the painting, it was one of his favorite artists.

Carly watched him closely and slowly sat up on the bed. Her lips pressed tightly together as she moved her eyes to the door. There was no reason to leave, he wasn't going to do anything to her. He didn't give her that feeling, not like the feeling she got from Carlos. She slowly stood up and walked over towards him, gazing at the painting too.

"It's beautiful, isn't it, Douglas? I saw the painting at the store when I first came over here. Bridget took me shopping and I wanted this picture. I knew Granddad probably wouldn't hang it up anywhere, so Bridget suggested I personalize my own private quarters." He slowly nodded as she breathed out. "These people are like family to me, almost…They're letting me sleep here in my own private room if I have trouble with granddad."

"What's his problem?"

"He's just being an asshole…" Douglas frowned and slowly nodded his head, it would seem she knew all too well about assholes. Maybe her granddad would get over himself, maybe not. Who could really say? "Oh and I discovered some new music lately. Katie Melua, look her up on youtube sometime." He raised his eyebrows and looked over as she continued gazing at the painting. "I Cried For You, by Katie Melua, my favorite song of hers."

"I've heard it. I don't get the video I saw, but I've heard the song." Douglas turned to her and pressed his lips firmly together. "Carly, I know better than to expect you to take me back if I were to ask you to, or even beg."

"You're not the begging type…"

"This is true." He shrugged his shoulders and chuckled slightly. "My point is not that I want it, I'd love for you to take me back, sure, but I can't…" Carly felt her heart tense at his words and she immediately turned to him with anger in her eyes. He lifted his hands up and gazed back into her eyes with a stroke of calmness. "Listen Carly. You're in danger, okay? That's all it is…" She rolled her eyes and scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.

"I know about my mother, the El Niño's, and all that crap, Douglas!" He froze as she narrowed her eyes and glared back into him, her burning daggers piercing him. "Instead of being a boyfriend, you hurt me, you broke me…Throwing me away, is that the type of boyfriend you think you should be? You fucking messed with me!" In a fit of anger, she raised her hand and swiftly moved it towards him to slap him. He grunted and quickly caught her wrist, not tightening it, but still holding it firmly. She gasped and her hair swung over her shoulder from the pressure. He narrowed his eyes and continued gazing into hers. Her gaze softened under his and her lips curled downwards into a frown.

"My father, my brothers, and now Carlos…They all wanted me to bring you to them. They wanted me to turn you over to them and turn you to prostitution, how the fuck do you think I felt about that, Carly?" Carly groaned slightly and tried to pull back, but he continued his hold. "It was either I continue to date you, refuse to hand you over, and eventually have you want to meet my family…and then they'd kidnap you. Or it was I date you, and hand you over to them! Or, it was I break up with you. Yes, I know it was a bad fucking time to do so, and you know something? I, yes, I actually felt horrible about doing that to you. I don't know why, but somewhere deep inside, I can't fucking explain it, I actually hated myself for what I did to you."

Carly's eyes widened and water began to fill them. Her lower lip started to quiver, she wanted to know more. A fast knocking came and a woman's voice spoke from behind the door. "Carly, are you okay in there?" Carly stammered to speak, and finally collected herself. She continued to stare into his fierce eyes, unmoving, and responded.

"I-I'm fine Bridget. I just need some more time, okay? We're…we're talking."

"Okay, take as much time as you need. As long as you're not having sex…"

"Wouldn't think of it…" She waited for a few minutes, her chest rose and fell slightly. Their gazes remained locked with each other. His nostrils flared open for a split second. "You felt bad?"

"I have no excuse for dumping you so coldly…I have no excuse for hurting Sam the way I did. Carly, I was raised to be violent, I was raised with the mindset that there's only one way out. By brothers constantly beat the shit out of me and the one person that usually kept them at bay wasn't always there. I grew up with anger being my only outlet. You know this…I tried to take Sam back by force, it was wrong, and I had my ass handed to me because of it. If you say I should leave her alone, I will leave her be. I can't promise she won't get into trouble with other people and shit, but I'll leave her alone if you tell me to."

"She's my sister, Douglas…Maybe not blood, but she's still my sister…If you beat her, it's like…" He removed his hold from her wrist and she pulled it back, placing it on her free arm. "It's like you're beating me. You say you're a violent man, and sure others might want to say you've beaten even me, but you haven't…I know my mother's history, how she was at this very club. I guess it was fate, really…but you know, if you're part of that gang…"

"You have to believe me when I say I am not. Because of that, my brothers just attacked me, along with some of Carlos's thugs. I…I had to kill them…" Carly flinched and she moved her eyes to Douglas. He averted his eyes sadly and shook his head, trying to rid himself of that memory. "My father covered up all deaths, not that it wouldn't have been self-defense anyway. Even Carlos tried to attack me."

"Carlos? Who…who is he?"

"He's that gang member that's out there." Carly cupped her hand over her mouth. Douglas crossed his arms over his mouth and closed his eyes. "Because my brothers are dead, my father wants me to take over El Niño's, or else Carlos will. Carlos, and a bunch of his supporters want me dead…so even if I hadn't broken up with you, even if they weren't after you, Carlos and his supporters would likely kill you too. I can't let that happen." She smiled slowly and he returned his gaze to her, pressing his lips tightly together. "I can't explain it. My father has his crazy, half-assed theories."

"You might listen to your dad sometimes, he may be the leader of a small, yet evil gang, but…he may be smarter than you think." He chuckled nervously and closed his eyes tightly. He didn't think he was all that smart, he was getting tired of all the violence, but he had no choice really in that matter.

"Carly, I'm really sorry that things turned out the way they did." She pursed her lips as he raised his hands up to her arms and continued to gaze into her wide, beautiful eyes. Something struck him, he didn't know what it was. It wasn't painful, but he disliked it. "If I had known things were getting so bad…well I should have known. It's my fault you have to take another year of high school, it's my fault you're separated from your best friends, my fault iCarly ended, my fault Spencer kicked you out…I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain." Her heart skipped a beat with every word he said. She slowly shook her head as her lips curled upwards. She raised her right hand and placed it softly against his right cheek. The warmth of her touch seemed to warm his body. He felt strong, the world was as it should be, though it was not.

"Douglas, it's not all your fault. You…you got me into it, yeah, but we did everything together. I'm the one that agreed to everything. If I said no, I'm not sure how you would have taken it…wasn't I the one that suggested it first? Hell…"

It was a hard memory, so long ago, but when all the porn shooting began, it began with a single suggestion. They wanted to have sex, and Carly thought they should shoot a video and post it online for pointers on how it went. Neither of them had ever had sex education. Her brother was always too shy to talk about it and his father had always been too busy to speak about sex. When they got good comments, they posted another for feedback, and another, until it eventually became so pleasurable and a means of making money, that neither of them ever stopped and they gathered so many people, including Sam herself.

Douglas felt a surge of pain through his heart and he let out a sorrowful moan. Tears dripped slowly down Carly's cheeks as she lowered her hand to his. "As for Spencer, that was all my fault, not yours. The addiction and the lies just got so bad…I just couldn't stop. My dad wants to come home on early leave and help pull me out of this life…but it's so addicting…"

Douglas lifted his hand to her face and brushed it towards the back of her neck as he moved his face closer to hers. "He should, he should come home. I know that war with Iran is pretty bad, but you need him more. Don't stop him."

"I-I wouldn't be able to stop him anyway." Her breath escaped her, much to her disdain. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe in. "Tell me how you came here, why you came here?"

"Carlos, while I was fighting with my brothers, he was bragging about how he…had sex with you." Carly tensed her face with irritation and slowly opened her eyes. Perhaps he felt the same hatred for Carlos that she did, perhaps not. "I followed him here…I didn't know he was coming here, but I knew from what he'd been saying, that this was where you were. When I saw he was here…I had to be here."

"And you…evidently knew how to make me pick you?"

"You have to go with the highest payer, no matter what, right?"

"How did you know that?" Douglas curled his lip into a tiny smirk, causing Carly to raise her eyebrow.

"I do have my ways, Shay."

"Then I suppose I do owe you that lap dance…" Douglas waved his hand dismissively and she lifted her eyebrows once more.

"I didn't come here for a lap dance. I paid for a moment with you. We needed to talk. That, and, I couldn't let Carlos get his filthy hands on you again. So I paid all the money I had on me, which I was pretty confident it was more than the amount he had. Turns out, I was right."

"You're crafty, you know that?"

"I take pride in that." He smirked once more and she slowly turned her eyes to the door. She never thought he'd spend all his money just to talk to her, that was impressive. "I should let you know, I got in through the front, but Carlos is getting in through a board that used to be bolted all the way, covering an open window on part of the old foundation."

"Seriously?" She looked over, her brows furrowed. "So that's how he's been getting in."

"Yeah…Carly, can I ask…what exactly did Carlos do to you the other night?" She pulled her lips back as he stepped close to her, placing his hand gently on her arm. "Did he hurt you? Was it…" His throat tightened on the word, it felt like bile to him. Many Niño's were known for doing it, but he never once condoned it. "Was it rape?"

"No…" She closed her eyes and shook her head, it was the honest answer. Douglas let out a small sigh of relief and she slowly opened her eyes to look into his. "I would never have let him…that's how I was, I wouldn't have sex with anyone unless you knew about it…"

"I know, that's why I thought…but it was consensual?"

"I didn't come in with the intention of having sex, Douglas. I want you to know that." He pressed his lips tightly together as she started to rub her arm. "I was just doing my job. Then he grabbed me and threw me on the bed, basically." The anger was now flourishing inside of him as he visualized what had occurred. Needless to say, he was in no way pleased. She took a deep, shaky breath and slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. It always comforted her to do so. "He jumped on me and started to feel me up. It…it felt good, it reminded me of the past when you would be shooting me with someone else. I just imagined you there, because I knew he was a gang member and if I did tell him to stop, then he wouldn't. Truth is, at first I didn't want him to stop."

"Then what…" He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, knowing that it would comfort her in some way.

"He started to become rough, a bit violent…like he was trying to claim me as his property or something, I don't know what he was doing. I told him to not be so hard, because it hurt…he just went harder…told him if he didn't slow down and go gentle, then I was going to call for security, and he told me to do it, so I did. They came in and tore him off me. It wasn't rape, because I consented all the way through and I never asked him to stop completely, but…it was frightening."

"He won't touch you again Carly. He won't. I'll be dead before he ever hurts you again."

"And what if you do die, Douglas? You said it yourself, they're targeting you now!"

"No, it'll take a lot to kill me. I won't die…I refuse death, reject it." Carly's legs started to grow tired, so she slowly moved him over to the bed. He raised his eyebrows as she laid on a sideways position.

"Lay with me…hold me."

"Are you sure?"

"Please." He nodded and moved behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and softly kissing her neck once. She closed her eyes and smiled tearfully. "Thank you." She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "You know the last few times that we…well shot those videos?"

"Yeah? What about them?"

"You didn't want to actually be standing behind the camera anymore, you didn't want to watch." He remembered that well. He actually started becoming sick to his stomach after seeing her with someone else. "It wasn't me…" His eyebrows rose curiously and he looked down to her.

"What do you mean it wasn't you?"

"You never watched those videos, so you couldn't tell. However…you were told, to an extent, how the sex was by the client. You were right when you said…when you said I had been lacking. It wasn't me."

"Then who was it? Why wasn't it you?" She moved her eyes to the side and her heart began to pound in her chest. She bit her lip gently and let out a deep sigh.

"You know Clover, and how she looks just like me?" He nodded slowly, his eyes widening to large saucers. "I would ask her to hide somewhere in the room. This has been going on for the last month, actually since I got herpes from the one guy."

"I remember that…we told him to use a condom and he said he didn't have to and we didn't have to worry…"

"Yeah, big mistake. Anyway, I had her do it because I just…I didn't want to do it." She never felt right when she had sex with someone else. She never felt right when someone else's hands were upon her body, or when her lips were being graced by anyone else. The feeling she had when she was around Douglas, it just wasn't there without him, and she felt tainted when it was someone else. "So she started shooting instead while I watched or did something else. I only felt right when we were making love, I just couldn't stand to be with anyone else."

"So, why you…" He was baffled, perplexed by how she managed to outwit him. He applauded her ability to do so. Carly chuckled at how dumbfounded he was acting and looked up into his eyes. She reached around the back of his head and lifted up, kissing his lips deeply. He was taken by surprise and slowly he closed his eyes and kissed her back. A spike of passion started running rampant, assaulting his body in every region. Carly moaned and let out a grunt as she felt the effects of her kiss upon him. He slowly pulled back from her and she eyed his lips hungrily. "You shouldn't do that to me…" He spoke softly and with a certain tenderness into his voice. "You don't know what that could do to me."

"I think I just felt what it could do." She smirked deviously, while continuing to gaze at his lips. "You've missed me?"

"More than you know…but we shouldn't do this, we can't do this. It's too risky, too dangerous. I…I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. I blame myself enough for the shit that I put you in, for all the shit that's been going on, and even for the shit that is my family. I don't want to be the reason something bad should happen to you."

"Then protect me…"

"It isn't safe, Carly."

"I know. I understand, too…You're not even allowed to be here."

"Well technically, your bouncers don't even know who the hell I am." Carly laughed slightly and shook her head, they really needed to hire some better security guards. "When…when could I even see you again?"

"Carly…I don't know…it's too fucking dangerous. I couldn't even be with you while that gang's still around, while Carlos is still around."

"Would it be wrong if I suggested you kill him?"

"You? Yes, very wrong!" He gave her a look of reprimand, which earned him a slight giggle. "But I will gladly beat him up and throw him out of here for you, I'm sure he's waiting for you." Then it hit her, how long had they been in there for? Her eyes widened and she quickly got up.

"Oh shit! I'm going to be in trouble!" Douglas stood and stretched himself. She turned to him and placed her hands on his chest while leaning close and gazing into his eyes. "Thank you...I, I really needed to see you again. I'm glad we talked. Will I see you again?"

"I don't know…I want to be with you, I feel that, but I also know-"

"There has to be a way. A way where that gang won't find out and where it will be safe. Can't you get that fucking rule taken away? Make them stop targeting me? Make them stop targeting you?"

"No…I…I wish I could. Dad says it's like a written constitution or something, what's done can't be undone unless something more is done to work around it. The gang won't listen to me, I'm not an active part of it. They all support Carlos, they all want me dead…"

"However long it takes, Douglas…Something has to give…" He frowned and embraced her closely. He would do whatever it took to figure a way around that law.

"Go on, I'll deal with Carlos if he's still out there." She groaned and glanced to the door, she hadn't thought about that. He lowered his hand along her arm and grasped her right hand firmly in his. As they stepped outside, he stood against the wall and she stood behind him, resting her hand upon his shoulder and gazing over him. Carlos was sitting in one of the central tables, drinking a bottle of beer. "There he is…I'll create a scene and distract everyone from you. You can get into the stage area if you like." Carly nodded firmly as Douglas tried to think of what he could do, but no ideas were coming. He sighed deeply and took a step forward.

"What are you going to do?" He stopped and chuckled nervously, taking a look at her.

"I'm not sure. I'm winging it." Her jaw fell and he quickly leaned over and kissed her by surprise. She moaned out in the kiss and groaned when he pulled back.

"Be careful…"

"Careful is not my middle name. Reckless sounds more like it." Carly sighed and smacked her forehead as Douglas ran through the building and jumped up onto a table with a loud shout, attracting everybody's attention. Carly took one last, long, wistful glance at him, then ran for the stage room. "Carlos Rodriquez!" Carlos's head shot up and his eyes widened remarkably. He began to panic as the DJ let out a large shout, alerting them that the gang member was here. "You're not allowed in here! Get the fuck out!"

"Doug? What the hell?" Carlos flipped out his knife and Douglas leapt on top of him, slamming him into the floor. Carlos shouted out as Doug grabbed his wrist and applied firm pressure, causing him to drop the weapon. "Motherfucker, get off me!"

"Not till I escort your ass outside, Punci." Douglas lifted him to his feet after having delivered multiple blows to him. A crowd started to gather around and Douglas led Carlos to the door. Someone opened the doors for him and he threw Carlos onto the hard pavement outside. He took one final glance at the door entering into the stage and saw Carly peering out wistfully. Their eyes met and locked for a small period of time. He gave her a firm nod, felt his heart flip over, and slowly left the building. Carly moaned inwardly and shut the door, she was unsure when, or if she'd ever see him again.

"I love you, Douglas…" She shook her head and wiped a tear as Bridget came over to her and hugged her. Bridget actually had been hiding out beside the private room, not listening, but making sure nothing was happening. No sexual sounds had been heard, just talking. When she saw Carly and Douglas walk out and kiss, she knew it was just love. She wouldn't tell anyone what happened, but she'd be there for Carly.

Aww romantic chapter. Blah. Haha, hope you enjoyed this, especially the little tidbit there towards the end. So nice to know Douglas and Carly made up.