So, the end of the story is coming nearer.
Admittedly, I've probably got quite a few chapters to go through yet, but…
This is the final part. Light's final challenge: to rid himself of Misa.
As a bit of a cool-down from Chapter 30, this mainly serves to set up the horrors that are to come…
DISCLAIMER: Death Note. Legal property of Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata, and some other guys.
--
Chapter Thirty One: Distance
If there was one thing Light had learned from spending the past two weeks chained to Misa, it was this:
Romance was dead… or, if not dead, then terminally ill.
No situation could highlight that quite so prominently than the one he was in now, with a tiny model attempting to straddle his leg as they walked home together.
"Misa…" he said, trying to block out the feeling of awkwardness welling up inside him as the passers-by gaped at them. "You're already quite famous enough without bringing even more attention to yourself. Just… restrain those hormones, please."
Begrudgingly, she obeyed his wishes. "But… Misa is excited… I mean, Misa and Light are going to MAKE LOVE!!"
Thanks, Misa, thought Light. Why not go ahead and broadcast this personal information to the whole world?
However, he considered himself to be much better at concealing his own emotions than she was, and instead smiled. "Yes, Misa," he whispered softly to her. "Just think – we can spend the rest of the day just revelling in the company of one another. Now, I want this to be just perfect for you, so how about you think – quietly, to yourself – about what would make today even more special? What could we do to make this the best day of your life?"
"Well… well… Misa doesn't need anything except for Light to make her day perfect," she sighed, "but… If Light really wants to make Misa happy so bad, then… I guess you could get some of those candles out again. Oh, and we'd need some romantic music, and… and could we get a Jacuzzi at short notice? Actually, that's probably a bit too much. Or maybe…"
Light raised a finger to her lips.
Misa shut up.
All was good in the world.
--
Misa handcuffing herself to Light was a bit of fun. It didn't hurt anyone.
In the same way, the love test was fine. Perhaps a little stupid, but just a harmless way to waste away a few dull days.
This, on the other hand, was too much.
L scowled at the handcuff dangling off his wrist, as he couldn't even bear thinking about looking at who it was attached to. For one thing, Ame was a constant reminder that he had underestimated Light; and for another, the girl scared the hell out of him, truth be told.
…
What a terrible day he had had so far.
…
They hadn't even bought nice handcuffs, he thought miserably.
Ame's tiny, clawed hand pulled once again on his sleeve. "Buuuuut… are you suuuuuuuuure you're Takeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"
"Yes, I'm sure I'm Takeshi," said L, clinging even tighter onto his own knees. "Now, stop talking to me."
The girl's grating voice stopped for only a few moments, before it flared up again. "But Liiiiiiiight-chaaaaaaan said that Takeeeeeeeshi-chaaaaaan was haaaaaaawwwwttt!! You're not haaaaaaaawwwwwtttt, you're weeeeeeeeeeiiiirrrrrd!!"
Light-kun said that he was looking for a 'suitable' partner for me, he thought, a bitter sarcasm setting in. It appears that I have overestimated his deductive abilities quite a bit, seeing as this certainly isn't the girl I would have chosen…
"Whaaaaaaat are you dooooooooing?!" Ame shrieked. "You're just staaaaaaaaaring at noooooottttthing!! Thaaaaaaat's weeeeeeeeeeiiiiirrrrd!!"
"It's called 'thinking'," said L. "I doubt you've heard of it."
She hissed like a demonic cat. "You're weeeeeeeeeeiiiirrrd!! I don't like yoooooooouuu, you're weeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiirrrrd!!"
Silence fell, if only for a few moments. It was only out of fear that he would have to put up with more of Ame's whining voice that motivated L to speak.
"I suppose this is a very productive experience for the both of us, if we see it from a… positive point of view. You have the opportunity to experience true disappointment, in finding out that I don't look as though I could pose in a calendar full of topless firemen; and I… get to learn how to pronounce the word 'weird' using no less than seven syllables."
"… You're…"
"Wee-ee-aee-eei-ih-hih-erd. Yes. I know," said L. "You've already established that."
An awkward silence. It was rare for L to experience awkward silences, or at least silences that were awkward for him…
… but with Ame, it was hard to avoid them. She was simply too stupid and too opinionated to handle.
L wished that Watari would hurry up. Watari would bring lockpicks.
Frankly, L had quite enough to sulk over at the moment without having an annoying bimbo attached to him. Light-kun had – he admitted it – beaten him, he would have to spring Wedy from jail again…
"Sooooooooooo… What do yoooooooou do for fuuuuuuuuuuun?! If you knoooooooow what fuuuuuuuuuuun meeeeeeeeeaaans, weeeeeeeeeiiirdo…"
He absent-mindedly scratched his knee, because even the most mundane of tasks were more enjoyable than the conversation he was having. "I know what 'fun' is, Ame-san… though I'm not sure that my definition of 'fun' would be the same as yours, for some reason."
"So what dooooooooooo you dooooooooooo!?" she snapped.
After much deliberation, L replied, "… I enjoy basket-weaving, flower-arranging, and spending romantic evenings with Yagami-kun."
He didn't even crack a smile.
"Romaaaaaantic?! But… But Liiiiiiiiiiight-chaaaaaaaaan is a booooooyyyyyyyy!!"
"Oh," he said, without any emotion. "Is that what he told you?"
It took her a while to work out the implications.
"… Eeeeewwwwwwwwww!! Thaaaaaaat's grrrooooossssssssssssssssssss!!"
Perhaps it wasn't quite such a terrible day after all.
It would be better once he'd gotten rid of her, though.
--
All was good in the world.
Light and Misa had arrived home… and, somewhat understandably, Light thought, Misa's hormones were still racing.
But, being the model boyfriend that he was, he had told her that there was something much, much more important that they needed to do first.
She had looked confused, and asked – with all honesty – what on earth could be more important than her having sex with him, and he had replied, with just a few magic words…
"I want to know how to make this day perfect for you. I want to know how to make this the best moment of your life."
She squealed, she hugged him, and then the ideas began. Every tiny romantic thought, every kinky little secret, everything Misa's heart could ever desire flooded her mind…
And she told him.
Every. Single. Detail.
Misa was providing her own distraction…
Oh, the irony.
And, being the model boyfriend that he was, Light wasn't going to stop her from talking until she had finished.
… Then, he would have to begin work on actually making this perfect moment come true. He would not rest – and he would certainly not have sex with her – until he had made her dreams reality.
… The longer she talked, the longer it would take.
Light estimated the preparations taking at least three weeks so far.
Still counting.
As she began her discussion on the finer points of purchasing a love-seat, his mind began to wander…
He was so close now. So achingly close to getting rid of her. His plans were working so perfectly, and… with L, 'Delilah' and Ame finally out of his way…
It would be simple.
Misa was easy to manipulate. In fact, she had done most of the work for him… if not all of it.
The handcuffs.
He watched the chain rattle around his wrist.
The chain that bound them both together, and the chain that would ultimately divide them.
If she hadn't been so eager keep him captive, and if she were in possession of just an ounce of subtlety…
If her plan hadn't been so ridiculous…
Light genuinely smiled.
Far away, on the other side of the chain, Misa smiled too.
Stupid girl, he thought. Poor, poor, stupid girl.
The handcuffs hadn't kept them together. They had only succeeded in pushing them further apart.
In due time…
Soon…
She would understand.
And Light would be free.
He would win.
The lock was the key.
--
Author's Note: A chapter filled with nothing, but a GOOD kind of nothing.
Got you all thinking? Does anyone have an idea what Light's plan might be?
… I imagine you probably do, and they're probably much better than what I've actually got planned… but I'm interested to know. So, if you feel like sharing your thoughts, don't hesitate to do so.
Thank you to everyone who has read this story, to everyone still reading it, and to everyone who finds this story in the future. I don't mind if you love it, hate it, or anything between… so long as I haven't paralysed you with boredom, I'm happy.
Group hug?
Anyway, the next – considerably more active – chapter should be up within the week.
Stay tuned!