Hey guys, sorry not updating yesterday but I wasn't confident in my ideas yet, so you know the procedure.
WARNING: Sensitive issues will be discussed in this chapter. If that affects you please do not read.
Disclaimer: I don't own TMI Or TID, all rights go to Cassandra Clare.
Chapter 37.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
Amatis. I thought she hated dad because he became a Downworlder. It's obvious by how she was reluctant to let us into her house in Alicante when I almost got myself killed.
So, if she hates dad, why does she want to see him? And more importantly, will he want to see her?
"I thought you hated my dad, because he became a Downworlder." I say.
"So did I, Clary, but then a few days ago I met Maryse Lightwood in Idris and she told me all about Lucian and Jocelyn marrying and having another baby, and Jonathan becoming normal. And of course about Lucian adopting you, Jonathan, and a boy called 'Simon'.
I realized that I made myself think I hated your father, because everyone else did and I didn't want to be shunned for loving my brother who was turned into a Downworlder.
Truth is, I still love him and I always have and will. He's my baby brother and there's no possible way I could hate him.
I would like to explain all this to Lucian, though I do understand if you are reluctant to let me in." She says.
Damn right I'm reluctant, I don't want her to her dad again, he's been through too much. I know she wants to tell him she loves him, but what if it ends badly and she realizes she really hates him and tells him? It would kill him.
"Amatis I understand but I don't want to see my dad get hurt. He's the best dad in the world and I love him so much, I don't want him to get hurt, he doesn't deserve it." I say.
"I understand that, but please Clarissa, just let me talk to him. I promise if things start to get out of hand I'll leave straight away, I don't want to hurt Lucian either and I have no intentions of doing so. I just want to tell him I'm sorry, I love him, and I miss him." She says. All the things I want to say to Annabelle... I shake my head, not letting my thoughts drift.
I can't deny Amatis access to the institute, and I can't stop her seeing dad either.
"Alright come in." I say.
Amatis smiles and steps in.
"Thank you Clary, I truly appreciate this." She says. I smile weakly and nod.
"Dad_ Luke, is in the main room, we'll show you were it is." Simon says. I know he cut himself off from calling dad 'Dad' because he hasn't asked him and mom to be his shadowhunter parents yet, he wants to do it with either Izzy or I beside him and at the moment he's just not ready.
"I'd appreciate that, thank you..." Amatis trails off, not knowing Simon's name.
"Simon." He says, as he walks over to me.
"Do you need a hand walking, you don't look so good?" Simon asks.
"My stomach hurts, and Lucy's kicking a lot."I say, scrunching my face up in pain.
"Do you think you could be in labour?" Simon asks. I refuse to believe that.
"No, absolutely not, I'm not due for another 4 weeks."I say. I despise the idea of going into labour early, ever since Jack was 2 months premature.
"Around the four week mark is considered full term, it could well be labour. Put your hand on your belly, if you're in labour you'll feel a tightening and then a loosening." Amatis says, matter-o-factly.
I wonder how she knows this. But I don't question her, I just do as she told me, and feel nothing but kicks.
"No, she's just kicking. Must've been something I ate." I say.
"You can lie down in a few minutes, I'll help you walk." Simon says, slipping his arm through mine.
"Thanks." I say.
When we reach the living room, dad is just about to leave. He also now has Jack in his arms.
"Clary, are you alright sweetheart? You're awfully pale."He says. I seriously need checking for anaemia.
"Um, there was someone at the door for you." I say, stepping out of his way so he can see Amatis.
She smiles warmly at him.
"Hello Lucian." She says.
"Come on Clare; let's go find that husband of yours." Simon says.
"Wait, dad, we'll take Jack." I say.
Dad hands Jack to Simon and we leave.
*LUKE'S P.O.V.*
What on earth is Amatis doing here? She hates me! Has she come here because some relative died or something? If she's turned up for no reason, or just to insult me I'll be madder than I've ever been.
"Amatis. Why are you here?" I ask.
"Lucian, I came here because I have a huge apology to make.
When you were turned into a lycanthrope, I wanted more than anything to help you through it and continue being your big sister. But I saw how people shunned Jocelyn for loving you and helping you and I didn't want that to happen to me. I know, it's incredibly selfish and I hate that I was that selfish but I can't change it.
I convinced myself I didn't love you anymore, that I hated you, so I wouldn't' be shunned.
Truth is Lucian, I always loved you, I never stopped. I convinced myself I hated you so people wouldn't be against me, too. And I am so sorry for that Lucian, so, so sorry. I still love you with all my heart and you are still my baby brother.
I know what I did was unforgivable, and I regret all of it. I don't expect you to accept my apology. I just want you to know, that I'm sorry, that I miss you and I love you." She says.
So many emotions run through my mind, disbelief, sadness, happiness, anger.
"You abandoned me over something that wasn't my fault, and it killed me not having my big sister with me.
But when I got use to my lycanthropy and got my life back on track, I thought I would be able to forgive you. So when Clary was born, I invited you to come out here in disguise as a mundane and meet your niece. I wanted you to be a part of her life, and so did Jocelyn. But you ignored us; you ignored us for eighteen years and then just randomly show up one day. Why?
I'm happy with the way my life is going, I'm married to the woman I love, I have three beautiful children and 3 beautiful grandchildren with another on the way, I have many loyal friends amongst the pack.
Do you have any idea what you missed? Just in the past few years, Clary became a mom for the first time, she got married, she had a miscarriage, she got attacked by a demon whilst pregnant, and almost died twice. She got depressed and she moved out." I say. I'm furious right now. Just when my life is going well, my sister turns up and tries to come back into my life after everything she did to me.
"Lucian... I had no idea I missed so much. I am so sorry, the reason I never got in contact was because I was scared to and I know that was selfish but sometimes I can be a selfish person!
I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm not asking for you not to hate me. I'm just asking you to remember that I love you." She says.
"Amatis there's selfish hand there's what you did. Turning against your own brother just so you would have a few more friends." I say.
"No! Luke that's not it! I thought I would be thrown from the Clave, and I know you should matter more to me than the Clave, and you do. But it's only now I realize that." She says.
"I needed you, so many times, Jocelyn needed you, Clary needed you, everyone needed you." I say.
"I know that Lucian and you have no idea how much I hate what I did to you. Please, Lucian do you believe me when I say I love you?" She asks.
I do, but I don't at the same time. I don't even know what's going on in my own head. But somehow, I manage to say
"I believe you. But I don't forgive you." Amatis looks hurt and I feel bad, but I really can't forgive her for what she did, I can't.
"I understand that Lucian. I'm just glad you know I love you. I'll go now and won't bother you again." She says. I feel so bad...
"Amatis, I can't forgive you but I don't hate you. I'm not ready to restart our relationship, but if you give me time I think I will be." I say. She smiles broadly.
"Thank you Lucian, I appreciate that greatly." She says, before turning on her heal and leaving.
When she leaves, Jocelyn wraps her arms around me. I mimic her, holding her close.
"I know how hard that was for you, and I am so proud of you for not letting her back in straight away, but taking it slow. I know it's hard, but this way you won't get hurt."She whispers. I nod.
"I know. I love you." I whisper.
"I love you too." She whispers.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
As I stand alone in the room I share with Jace, looking through some books, I feel an agonizing pain shoot up my back, causing me to double over.
I drop the book in my hand and clutch my stomach, sinking to the floor in agony. I burry my face in my knees, letting the tears flow.
Then the worst thought comes to me.
This could be labour.
I hope you enjoyed, please review.
Love you all.