A/N: Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews!
Spoiler: hahaha (It's not me laughing. It's Will...)
Disclaimer: Disney owns Jack, Elizabeth, etc.
Chapter 38
"What are you talking about? It's not true", whispered Elizabeth shakily, glaring at Barbossa. Her statement apparently contradicting her question, although she did not seem to notice.
Barbossa shook his head, and sighed with mock-sadness. "I'm afraid it is. Quite convenient, not t'remember such things", he added after a pause. "But if I were ye, I'd keep a watchful eye on Jack, for that matter. I merely stranded 'im on a harmless island, an' he's nowhere near forgettin' 'bout that." He glanced at the ocean, and then darted his eyes back to Elizabeth. "Ye don't think he could ever forget 'bout bein' betrayed an' killed", now, do ye?", he narrowed his eyes, looking at her expectantly.
Elizabeth stared at him, paler than he has ever seen her before; paler, than when she had witnessed the effects of the Aztec gold curse, paling now at the sound of his words more, than at the sight of ghosts. Looking herself like a ghost at the moment.
She wanted to ask... She wanted to object... But she could not get neither her voice, nor even her thoughts through the noise of the beating sounds that was gradually being replaced by a different sound, a cracking sound, a roaring sound...
"It's after you..."
She gasped, terrified by her own voice. Was it her own voice? Could it be...? Could she... How could she? She could not... But she did...
"It's not true", she repeated stubbornly, a trace of annoyance hardly audible in her faltering voice, her eyes wandering around the bow, and the sea, as if looking for some kind of explanation, for somebody to take all those words away, maybe even waiting for Barbossa to take back what he had said.
But Barbossa was not going to take any of his words back. He waited for an effect, for the aftermath, hoping that shock will bring the result in the form of memory retraction soon enough.
"Ye've no idea what the Locker is", he continued, looking at Elizabeth intensely. "What it can be, if ye happened to be sufficiently vulnerable", he trailed off, as Elizabeth took a few steps backwards, still staring at him with forced disbelief, which brought a slight sneer on his face. "Images, sounds, voices." He slowly walked towards her, narrowing his eyes. "Everythin' ye desire to hear, yet everythin' ye can't stand hearin'. Pain, until ye can't hurt anymore, or so ye think, but 'fore long ye realize that the pain will ne'er cease to hurt, 'cause it'll ne'er stop, it'll ne'er go away, for it's not caused by a blade or a bullet, but it's in here", he put a hand over his chest, "an' in here", he briefly touched his head, "rooted permanently, left there to grow like a thorn planted by a treacherous gardener who, expected to feed, instead", he paused, and smiled, "poisoned."
Elizabeth shuddered, as if pierced by his last word, by everything that he had said. "It's not true", the words escaping her mouth almost involuntarily, mechanically, as she walked backwards, holding on to the rail, unfelt tears flowing down her cheeks, she did not even know she was crying. She could no longer hear or feel anything around her, only those voices, well-nigh tangible, talking, shouting, screaming, whispering... Whispering...
"Pirate."
"Hold it damn steady in one bloody place!", shouted Pintel, gesturing wildly towards Ragetti, who tried with all his strength to hold the thick rope as he was instructed, although the task was harder than it seemed.
"Let that go, an' unfurl that blasted sail!", shouted another crew member from the other side of the mast.
Ragetti's wooden eye blinked in confusion. "Ain't possible t'hold an' t'let go at this same time", he observed matter-of-factly, in a slightly complaining tone of voice.
"That's why I'm not sayin' t'let go!!", screamed Pintel, annoyed, oblivious to the words of the other sailor.
"But 'e's sayin'-", Ragetti tried to argue, but suddenly the ship jostled, just coming against a rougher wave, and the rope slid out of his hands, before he even managed to notice what was happening.
"Watch out!!!", the voice of Marty came loud from the crow's nest.
"An' then ye married brave Mr. Turner, who, to finish up that lamentable multi-sided quasi-love story, was killed by Jones, an' havin' to choose between dyin' in yer arms, an' sailin' the seas forever, made an obvious choice." Barbossa stood next to Elizabeth, his voice closer to a whisper now, menacingly clear, low, omniscient.
Elizabeth did not look at him, she leaned against the rail, her eyes fixed on the ocean, the view obscured by tears, and thoughts blended together, shushing voices filling her head, words and sentences coming, and going, images flourishing from nowhere, from her mind, from the memory that still was not there, but she could feel as if it was trying, for the first time she felt as if it was really trying to surface, to come back, to wash over her... to drown her.
"An' so", continued Barbossa despite, or maybe even because of the streams of tears flowing down her cheeks, "his heart was carved out-"
She suddenly turned her head towards him, her eyes red, and wide-open. So this is what it was... It was what that sound was coming from... The beating sound... The beating of the heart...
She hardly listened to Barbossa's next words, about a chest, about the heart being locked... His words veiled by the voice in her head, that gentle voice that did not sound gentle at all in that dream that she had a few nights ago, that voice shouting accusingly: "You were supposed to keep it safe!"
Barbossa was still talking, when she suddenly tore herself off the conversation, and ran, just ran not caring where, and why, just wanting to run, to run away from the voices, which were becoming more and more familiar with every passing moment.
"You were supposed to keep it safe!"
"Pirate."
Two voices. Two voices splitting her heart in two. Two voices calling her, calling to her, calling after her...
And she knew that. She felt that. She felt that she had done something terrible... And she had... And not even once... But all the time... Everytime...
"This is the only way, don't you see?"
She tripped, and fell down, awkwardly wiping away the tears, gasping for air, suffocating because of the tears, feeling almost unable to breath, half-wishing to stop breathing at all.
She cried loudly? quietly? She could not tell. She buried her face in her hands, and moaned, her fragile form shaking from crying.
She killed him... She knew she had done something... But she would have never thought...
"...even if you killed me..." Jack's words uttered in a half-serious tone suddenly came back to her. Did he forgive her? Did he really forgive her? Could he forgive her...
"...out of compassion... in search of a revenge... to satisfy lust..." Barbossa's voice reverberated in her head, repeating the three phrases tirelessly.
Elizabeth staggered to her feet, her eyes stinging from crying, the tears reaching her lips on their way down her face, leaving a salty, bitter taste in her mouth.
She looked up, and there it was, the main mast, and she felt something running through her, the wind, the sword, the lightning, she could not tell what it was, but suddenly the setting changed, if only slightly. She blinked, and although the view was very much the same, there was something different about it, something...
And then she saw it. She saw a girl... And that girl was... her. She saw herself, with a strange expression on her face, with an expression that she would not trust, it was so obvious the girl was up to something, The girl's hair wet, and slightly dishevelled...
Elizabeth moved slowly towards the image, the illusion, the hallucination...
The memory...
When she took a few steps towards the girl, she saw that there was yet somebody next to her... The girl leaned in, and kissed a man... A man... Jack. The girl kissed Jack. She kissed Jack...
And she was no longer certain whether she could really see anything, or whether it was only her imagination, bringing back those unwanted scenes, those sins worth forgetting, those memories unable to fall into oblivion, those acts that she did not remember regretting, but she regretted that she remembered them now-
Remembered them. Remembered...
Elizabeth screamed, the sound of shackles resounding like a thousand thunders in her head. She threw herself forward, running, running, running-
"Watch out!!!"
The voice would have probably sounded unreal to her, even if she would have heard it.
She did not feel being hit by anything... She just felt the pain... The pain... That pain...
Just like when that carriage... The words abstractedly flashed across her mind, as she collapsed to the floor.
"I've been sorry... I've really been sorry... I...", she whispered to herself, and her eyelids fall over her eyes, hiding the fresh tears under them, turning off the light, turning off the world...
Turning on the past.
"Words?" Will raised his eyebrows. "There is the meaning behind them, but you probably don't know it, since your words carry no meaning."
"Ah. Unfortunately, yer words carry only the illusory meaning", replied Jack in a low tone of voice.
Will's face twitched at the word 'illusory'. He shot Jack a hard look, ready to speak, when he was suddenly interrupted by a loud thud, and the shouts of several crew members.
"And now what?", muttered Jack, heading towards where the shouts were coming from.
Will hesitated for a moment, but eventually decided to follow Jack.
There was a certain commotion, around one of the masts, which was apparently broken. Jack grimaced, hopping over a splintered wood, and looking up at the broken mast in slight irritation.
"What's-", he started in a rather harsh tone of voice, intending to inquire as to the reasons for the damage being made to his ship, when he suddenly stopped in mid-sentence, his eyes widening in shock.
On deck, in a pool of blood, laid... Elizabeth.
"The mast must've been broken since that storm...", somebody started explaining what has happened.
But Jack did not listen. He fell to his knees beside Elizabeth, and quickly brushed her hair from her face. He felt as if they have gone back in time, and it was again that horrible day in Tortuga.
Horrible?... Beautiful, in a way...
She was breathing, and half-consciously shaking her head, gasping for air, and mumbling single, unintelligible words. At least she was not fully unconscious.
There was a gash on the back of her head, it was small, but the amount of blood flowing from it was alarming. Her arm was also bleeding. Jack ripped the sleeve of her dress. The arm was not broken, but it was twisted. He cautiously took her in his arms, and a thought flashed through his mind, that it was exceptionally quiet around them.
But, just to the contrary, the surrounding was anything but quiet. The crew members formed a circle around the scene, they were talking loudly, screaming even, retelling what has happened, arguing as to the causes, answering Will's feverishly asked questions.
Jack did not even notice Will kneeling just next to him, not really knowing what to do, shock, worry, and despair mixed with anger, when Jack scooped Elizabeth in his arms, and carried her below deck. It was him who should carry her, not Jack. He followed them, terrified by seeing her in such a state. Was it like this when that accident had happened? But then he was not there, and now he was, but still, despite that now he could actually do something, he was prevented from doing anything because of him, and because he behavedas if he had a right to be taking care of her; because he was taking care of her.
Will followed Jack to Captain's Quarters, where Jack laid Elizabeth on the bed, making sure not to hurt her arm. Several crew members also appeared in the cabin bringing hot water, fresh cloths, bandages, and rum, without even being asked to do so. They put everything on the cabinet, and left.
Will, without taking his eyes off Elizabeth, reached for the bandages, accidentally nudging a rum bottle, which fell down to the floor, breaking noisily into pieces.
Jack shot a quick look at the broken bottle, and then at Will. "Get the hell out of here", he said sternly, grabbing the bowl of hot water, and a towel. He put the bowl on the floor. When he sat back on the edge of the bed beside Elizabeth, he noticed the traces of tears on her face.
"What?", Will glared at him. "I can do this, and you get out", he said with a frown.
Jack soaked the towel in the water, ignoring Will. He leaned over Elizabeth, and carefully lifted her head, resting it against his chest, and starting to cleanse the gash on the back of her head.
"Leave her alone", ordered Will, annoyed by the fact that there was nothing he could do, just watch what Jack was doing, while it was him who should... His anxiety about Elizabeth laced with anger at him, and he was not sure why he felt it like this, but it appeared to him that there was something intimately arrogant in the way he held her, the way he touched her, the way he put her head back on the pillow, the way he brushed loose strands of hair behind her ears (why did he even do that?), the way he ripped off the sleeve of her dress, and tossed it to the floor...
"It's your specialty", muttered Jack, wrinkling his forehead, and carefully examining Elizabeth's arm.
"How dare-", started Will, but stopped, when Elizabeth shivered, and moaned.
"Shhh, luv, it's alright." Jack put his hand to Elizabeth's cheek, stroking it delicately with his thumb.
All of a sudden, his hand was pushed away, and he himself was knocked out from the bed, and onto the floor.
"I said leave her alone!", repeated Will angrily, taking the seat next to Elizabeth, and looking at her worriedly, which was actually the only thing he managed to do, before two surprisingly strong hands clutched the fabric of his shirt from behind, and dragging him away from her, threw him out of the cabin, all within a split second, which did not leave him time for a proper reaction.
Jack slammed the door shut, and locked it, just in time, as Will almost immediately started pressing the knob with fury, but the door did not even twitch.
Jack ignored Will's further shouts, and naive orders, and continued cleansing the gash on Elizabeth's arm. She stirred, and mouthed something he could not understand.
He thought that it was a good sign that she was apparently half-conscious at the moment. He would hate waiting for her regaining consciousness again. He remembered that strangling feeling, when he was not sure whether he will ever hear her voice, or look into her eyes looking back into his again.
He leaned over her, and kissed her softly on the lips. He drew back, and saw with amazement, that her eyes were actually opened, and she was looking at him.
"Lizzie...", he smiled, stroking her face gently.
"Jack", she whispered, her eyes following for a moment the movement of his hand.
Slowly, she tried to push herself up on her elbows, but she hissed in pain, failing to do so.
"No, no, Lizzie, don't do this. You twisted your arm, luv." Jack placed an additional pillow under her back, and one more under her head, helping her to sit up.
All this time she was staring at him with strange curiosity. "Why did you do that?", she asked, with a trace of a smile playing about her lips.
Jack squinted. "Why did I do what?", he inquired with a hesitant smirk.
"Why did you kiss me?", asked Elizabeth quietly, after a pause.
Jack blinked, confused, but before he had a chance to answer, the ship rocked, and it attracted Elizabeth's attention. She looked around, and then gave Jack a surprised look:
"We're not in Tortuga?" She leaned forward in bed, and looked around the cabin. "How come? What's happened?", she asked, looking at Jack expectantly.
For some reason, and perhaps even for the first time in his life, Jack was unable to speak. It... can't... be...
"I remember...", Elizabeth grimaced, and bit her lip, "I saw you, and I then... something... a carriage... it was a carriage, right?", she asked, glancing at Jack in search of reassurance, but Jack stared at her utterly speechless. "And then I fell, and...", she paused, and looked pensively into the distance for a moment. "Jack" She looked back at him, her voice bearing that all too familiar trace of slight annoyance. "I don't remember what happened next. For how long was I unconscious? I don't remember... I fell down, and...", she sighed, and shook her head. "Jack, what's happened after that carriage knocked me down?", she asked, looking at him with pure interest.
Jack stared at her in pure shock, knocked out by the question.