A/N: Thanks for sticking with it.
He knows this isn't the tightest spot he's ever been in, but right now he can't think of a time to top it.
"Hurry, Doc! We've got to move!"
"I'm trying, Sulu!" He yelled. "Don't have any extra shoes, do you?"
They were racing away from the half-constructed wing of the mansion where V'Laivas and Totuna had whisked McCoy away to. It was way out from the festivities since it was under construction, and the ladies had taken advantage of the fact.
A couple turns later and Sulu made a hard right. He'd grabbed McCoy's arm and dragged him around the corner as well.
"What in the- Sulu! You've got to-" He stopped as Sulu shushed him. "Fine." McCoy hissed quietly. "But, you've got to tell me what's going on here. What's all this about a bomb? Where is it?"
Sulu poked his head around the corner before ducking back. "The coast is clear for now… Doc, we've got to get back to the main wing in another couple of minutes or it's curtains for the guests."
McCoy blinked. "Again. But, this time with more details. For instance: Where is the bomb? How bad is this? How did you come across this information?"
Sulu grinned and leaned against the wall. "Scared it out of a Romulan. Lower rank, probably. Separated from the rest of the group."
McCoy blinked. Right, Totuna wouldn't be working alone. "Never mind. Keep going."
It seemed like the helmsman was enjoying himself. McCoy wasn't about all this slinking around and fighting Romulans and disarming bombs, but Sulu was loving this. He thought back to D'Artagnan. Right.
"From what I could gather- he wasn't going to give me everything, Doc, Romulans have standards- the bomb is somewhere in the main complex under the foyer. That's where everyone is, so I figure he was telling the truth. It only makes sense."
Sulu gestured for McCoy to follow. They were going to keep going towards the complex.
"And he didn't seem very worried. I think whatever's in the bomb might not work on Romulans."
That gave McCoy pause. "You think so? Why?"
Another couple of yards and they were just outside the main complex. Sulu led the way through a hedgerow and continued along the outer wall.
"I'm not 'famed botanist Ilik Hasegawa' for nothing. Remember the Andorian Spring Roses? Well, they're more than just hard to come by. They're also an obscure source of quirinicine."
"Quirinicine?" McCoy frowned. "That's a mild toxin, but nothing to sneeze at unless you get a massive dose. It'd have to be a cup at least, injected directly into the bloodstream to be sure to kill you."
Sulu nodded. "But did you also know it's the Romulan equivalent of garlic?"
McCoy did not. Sulu went on. "I was actually talking to some scientists. They were talking about the décor as if the Romulans were using it to butter up the Avarians, but it occurred to me that this might not be the case. I didn't know how poisonous, but I thought quirinicine was bad news. I was going to ask you when you suddenly turned up missing."
"Oh. That's when you noticed?"
"Not too long after I left you two alone. Didn't think you'd go off alone with a Romulan, though."
McCoy scowled. "She was not a Romulan!" At Sulu's astonished expression, he explained. "She's Vulcan all right. Gave me some bunk story about Reunification and the kinship between the two species."
"You don't believe it?" Sulu stopped at a corner. "That doesn't sound too far off base. Without a home world, maybe the Vulcans would consider getting back together with the relatives, no matter how estranged."
"Oh they're estranged all right. Spock explained me the difference once. Apparently, the Romulans broke off from the Vulcan peoples after Surak did his whole 'logic' bit. They preferred to stick to the old ways."
Sulu gave that a low whistle. "I took Vulcanian History in the Academy. The 'old ways' are nothing to sneeze at. It explains a lot, actually." Sulu tapped his chin. "But there's something wrong with it. I mean… They're related, do you think- maybe- quirinicine doesn't work on Vulcans either?"
McCoy hadn't thought of that. "You know, you might be onto something. If this all goes to pot, we might still have some clear-headed Vulcan allies in the mix. They could sort this out while we're all napping."
"So… You don't think this bomb will kill us all?"
McCoy shook his head. "Not unless it's as big as a warp coil. I think the air would have to be nearly saturated with quirinicine to kill a human right away, and even that at close range. No, I think they want us down for the count. Heaven knows why…"
They continued the way they'd started. The compound loomed up next to them. McCoy could just catch the sound of the orchestra. Sulu held up a hand as they drew closer to a door. "Clocked that guy outside here. There might be someone else inside."
As crazy and implausible as this whole affair was, McCoy found himself surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing. That got him worried. Usually it was running around with Jim, guns a-blazin'...- Ah yes, that was it.
"Sulu!" McCoy hissed. He grabbed the helmsman's arm and pulled him back. "Now you wait a minute! What's the plan here? Don't tell me we're just gonna go charge in there with a bomb hiding out goodness knows where! They set it off before we can disarm it and we're all toast!"
Sulu stopped. He made a face to suggest that no, that was most certainly the farthest idea from his mind and that he had no intention of ever doing such a thing.
"Well, what do you think we should do? Just sit around until the Romulans set it off?"
"No!" McCoy scowled. "Of course not. I just think we oughta have an idea of what we're doing. Because this- this is crazy! I don't have shoes for cryin' out loud!"
"Ok, ok." Sulu tried to appease (quiet) the doctor. "I can't do anything about the shoes, I'm sorry." McCoy snorted but Sulu kept going. "The way I see it, we have only one option. We can't call the ship, so we've got to take care of this ourselves. I've got my sword, and you've got your medical know-how. We'll just have to make do."
McCoy nodded. "That may be so, but there's not a lot I can improvise with Romulans. I don't have my kit or anything like that."
Sulu raised an eyebrow. He had a gleam in his eye that made McCoy very very concerned about their immediate future. "Who said anything about drugging them?"
The Romulan's shoulders slammed up against the wall. Sulu held his sword at the guard's throat.
"I will tell you nothing! It will all be over soon! Death to the Federati-"
"Naw, Sulu, you've got it all wrong." McCoy gestured at the Romulan's neck. "The jugular's more along the front. Really, you'd be doing better along the collarbone. Since his heart's in the wrong spot, well…" He shrugged. "I mean, you can still do it your way if you wanna make it painful."
He could swear he saw beads of sweat break out on the guard's forehead. "W-weak Federation." The poor sap tried again. "To crush you is an- an honor!"
Sulu kept his 'stone cold killer' act up. "Tell that to the rest of your pals. Subcommander Totuna? She went down real fast. Spilled her guts to the Doc here."
The Romulan's eyes went wide, and it occurred to McCoy that he might not understand that metaphor.
"You… the Subcommander…"
"Aw, come on, Sulu. Stop toying with him. Let's either get what we came for or toss him and move on." McCoy tried to look as menacing as he could in little more than his underwear. Really, this shouldn't be working.
"S-stop! I'll tell you where the device is!" He gulped. "B-but you will never make it p-past the elite guard…" This seemed put on for effect rather than anything else. They'd gotten the information they came for. With Doctor McCoy's expert guidance, Sulu knocked out their prisoner in one go.
"Ridiculous." McCoy scoffed. "I can't believe I'm going along with this."
Sulu smirked. "Better than standing outside in the cold, right? Come on. The location he gave us is right smack in the middle of the basement."
"That'll get the whole complex. Nobody inside will have a chance of getting outta range!"
"Then we'd better hurry."
McCoy hung back as Sulu cleared corners and made sure the hallways were safe. They only ran into one other guard along the way. That set McCoy's internal alarm off. Where were they all if they weren't guarding the bomb? He supposed they might've left a bunch upstairs to keep up appearances. They'd just be standing around, sticking their noses up at the Vulcans…
McCoy stopped. The Vulcans. "Sulu!" He hissed.
"Not now, Doc! We're here!"
When he finally caught up with Sulu, he decided that his revelation could wait. They found themselves in a sort of subbasement. Their hallway opened up onto a catwalk. Through the railing, McCoy could see the boiler room setup pretty clearly. Pipes snaked around the lower portion of the room. He could already see three Romulans guards patrolling the dim. This wouldn't be easy.
Sulu tapped his shoulder and pointed. McCoy redirected his attention to the far corner of the room. A faint green light emanated from behind a mesh of pipes. Sulu mouthed 'bingo'.
As quietly as was possible, they made their way along the catwalk. No one was patrolling this upstairs sector. It made McCoy antsy.
This all made sense when he heard the angry slap.
They both froze immediately. It wasn't hard to locate the source of the drama. Totuna and V'Laivas were standing in the middle of a group of Romulans. They looked pissed. McCoy mouthed 'We're dead' but Sulu wasn't looking at him. His attention wasn't fixed on the action either. In fact, Sulu was staring at the pipes and all of that business up near the ceiling. He seemed really interested in a ladder…
"No." McCoy hissed.
Sulu gave him a look.
"Fine, but I'm expressing my displeasure for the record."
He followed Sulu up the stupid ladder and into the stupid crawlspace above the stupid giant twenty-foot drop. At this point, he was really hoping Romulan hearing wasn't on par with Vulcan hearing. Everybody carried disruptors, and it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. A small barrel. With lasers.
Miracle of miracles, they made it all the way across. McCoy had watched the Romulans fan out and search the place. One guard had even passed by their old hiding spot. It was amazing that they hadn't been picked up. And Sulu was having the time of his life.
They came to the end of the crawlspace at last. There was another ladder, but this one was concealed in the shadow of some more massive pipes. It seemed like the Romulans weren't exploring this sector much, since it was so close to the bomb.
This was the first time McCoy was able to get a good look at the blasted thing. It wasn't so much of a bomb if he was going to be real literal about it. The contraption rang more as a dispersion device with intake tubes and measuring dials and dispensing chambers. The Romulans would load the chemicals, calibrate the machine, and it would shoot the gas through the pipes and presumably towards the party.
And they were here to stop… all that… using Sulu's plan to 'run right at 'em'. Perfect.
He managed to get down the ladder without slipping. Sulu was already checking corners and doing a wonderful job of not being seen by any of the Romulans. Really, this was some kind of miracle. Had to be. That, or McCoy had been on way too many missions with James 'The T is for Trouble' Kirk recently. The kid was a danger magnet. This was a nice change of pace.
Sulu mimed for McCoy to go on ahead and check out the bomb. V'Laivas and Totuna had migrated somewhat. They were discussing something around a blind corner, and McCoy might have a chance to do some sabotage before they returned.
He did so. Once he got up to the device itself, he saw what a simple configuration it was. The controls were in Romulan type, but with standard numerals. With this, he could reconfigure the entire distribution system. Quietly, McCoy began analyzing readouts and punching in new formulas. He only had quirinicine, helium, nitrogen, oxygen, and meralyne gas to work with, so it might be tricky. McCoy thought back to chemistry classes at the Academy. Quirinicine would have to come down by half at least, but if he increased the nitrogen too much, he might accidentally suffocate the crowd. Maybe…
Meralyne gas was down in the hundredths. It probably had something to do with the propulsion, but if he increased it by enough, there might be sufficient amounts to interact with the decorative candles… Green flames would sure let everybody know they needed to clear out. Of course, there was the helium too.
The helium! The light bulb came on in his head and McCoy knew just what to do. He punched in formulas and quantities; all they while hoping the tiny beeps on the display pad weren't attracting any attention. Luckily, he was able to finalize his program within a few moments.
That was when he felt the disruptor barrel on the back of his head.
McCoy didn't bother to turn; he just raised his hands slowly. Someone Romulan had found him. Hopefully, they wouldn't be able to undo all the figures until it was too late. McCoy could only pray the damage was too convoluted to be undone at this stage.
"Stand." Totuna.
Ever so slowly, McCoy did so. If he could stall another minute-
"Now turn around. No sudden movements, or I shoot your partner."
Of all the blasted… McCoy did as she said. He was surprised to find V'Laivas holding up Sulu's unconscious body. Nerve pinch. Typical hobgoblin.
"Easy now. We don't want anything going off down here."
Totuna smirked. "You mean that you would not like anything going off. Romulans and Vulcans are immune to the gas."
His eyebrows rose. "All y'all? I'm surprised. I don't think the Vulcans'll be too happy with what you're doing to the party."
"It will not matter. They will cooperate, and we will have our reunification."
"You mean you'll have hostages. I can't see those Vulcans coming along willingly. That, and the rest of the Federation will only see this as an act of aggression-"
The expression 'pistol whipped' manifested itself in his mind. Boy, did Totuna like to hit people.
"It matters not what the Federation thinks. We will show our true power tonight. The Vulcan people will have to choice but to join us."
V'Laivas stiffened. Bingo.
"The Vulcans will choose, Totuna, but only after we have presented the logic to my people gathered here." There was a hint of ice in her voice. McCoy hoped this was falling apart like he wanted. There was still a chance.
"Logic, of course!" Totuna hardly sounded sincere. "They will bend before the cunning and might of the Empire, and together we will be unstoppable. The Federation will crumble!"
V'Laivas almost dropped Sulu on the spot. "For someone who had expressed such dislike for the Federation, you speak about it often."
Totuna snapped. She spun around, ready to give V'Laivas the verbal smack down that had probably been brewing since the two first met. McCoy wasn't going to give her the chance. He leapt at the terminal and engaged the device.
Not a second later, the whole party could hear it. The gas shot through just about every pipe in the room. The console was beeping like there was no tomorrow. Some lights were flashing red. McCoy was grinning like an idiot.
Totuna whirled back around and shoved him aside. She took one look at the control panel and went positively green.
"What have you done?!" She shrieked. Totuna faced him again, ready to just about bury her disruptor in his skull, when one of the pipes burst. Directly overhead, a section of metal ruptured and released McCoy's chemical concoction on the room.
The effect was nearly instantaneous. Totuna went from an angry green to a much more sickly shade. Some of the Romulans in the room were already vomiting. One poor sap was on the ground. V'Laivas had abandoned Sulu.
"That's my cue." McCoy coughed. He left Totuna's side and ran to scoop up Sulu. The helmsman was stirring, but McCoy couldn't tell if it was because of the gas or if he was coming around on his own.
"Come on, Sulu! The bomb's going off!" He yelled this more for effect. The bomb wasn't going to kill them immediately, but they could die of being shot if they waited long enough for the gas to dissipate and the Romulans to recover.
Sulu shook his head and started blinking. Perfect. "That's right, Sleeping Beauty, we gotta go now!" McCoy shook him a little bit. That got Sulu going some more.
"Doc? Why's it purple in here? I think I'm gonna be sick…"
"Oh no! Not yet you're not!" McCoy hauled Sulu up by the shoulders and directed him towards the metal staircase the Romulans had been using. "We gotta move! So, get! G'won!"
With some persuading, McCoy got Sulu up and out of the basement before the gas had enough time to work through their systems. McCoy was doubled over on the ground when Sulu found and activated his own emergency transmitter. Blasted thing was in his pants leg. McCoy was wondering why Spock had technically been given two transmitters while he himself was sent up the creek, but his thoughts were enveloped in the glow of the transporter.
"Hey Sulu." McCoy asked as he slid down the wall and onto the floor of the transporter pad. "Why didn't you do that when I went missing?"
"Honestly Doc? I forgot I had it." Sulu wobbled on his feet, but he was still standing when McCoy gave up and let it all go black.
/*\\
"Delayed effects. Bones, you have to be kidding."
Jim was incredulous. Not just about the gas either, no sir. He was upset about pretty much everything from V'Laivas to the fact that Starfleet was howling for blood over this plot progressing so far in the first place.
"On human physiology, Jim. I gave everybody except the green-blooded folks plenty of time to evacuate before things started getting real nasty." McCoy and Sulu were hooked up to biobeds just until the effects wore off completely. If nothing else, the doctor was glad he was having this conversation in Sickbay. Jim might be able to chew him out on the Bridge, but there were too many hypos close at hand for him to try anything down here.
"Plenty of time. Bones, you're unbelievable." Jim shook his head. He'd been fielding calls from the Admiralty for hours and he still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. "And a Vulcan and a Romulan actually teamed up to steal your suit?"
"Oh, for the love, Jim." They'd been over this. The Security team already had V'Laivas in the brig, and he'd told the story three times. "Yes, I was drugged and abducted. They were looking for the transmitter you put in Spock's lapel or whatever. Neither of them knew about Sulu, I guess. Thought I was working alone and didn't want me to call home."
Jim nodded. He sighed. He was not a happy camper, but there had been no casualties down on the surface, and the Romulans had made a hasty retreat with their tails tucked between their legs.
"Fine. You rest up, but I still want the whole thing in writing for the Admiral. She can deal with it. I'm done." Jim nodded to Sulu and left the Sickbay without another word. He'd barely dodged diplomatic disaster. If Spock hadn't been there to smooth things over, things would've been a heck of a lot messier.
"How're you holding up, Doc? Enjoying a taste of your own medicine?" Sulu smirked at him from the next bed over.
"Oh, hush, you!" McCoy grabbed a hypospray off his bedside and shook it in the helmsman's direction. "Much more outta you and you'll wish you'd stuck around in the gas!"
Sulu chuckled. "I dunno, Doc. You seemed real keen on getting me out of there. I'd hate to undo all that hard work." He smiled. "Thanks for that, by the way."
McCoy snorted, but gave Sulu a little grin of his own. "Don't mention it. It's not like you didn't have your fair share of the fun. What was all that swinging from the rafters like an ol' swashbuckler anyhow? Couldn't use the front door?"
They both had a good laugh about it. Sulu seemed like he wanted to say something else, but McCoy gave him a look and stretched.
"I don't know about you, but I could use a good nap. After all that excitement, I think I deserve it."
"Alright, Doc. I think I'll hit the hay too. But if you snore, I'm having you transferred to a different ward."
McCoy punched his pillow. "Same goes for you, Sulu. Night."
They both settled down to their biobeds, relishing the ship's artificial night. McCoy sighed. It had been one heck of a ride, but they'd made it out OK in the end. Everybody in one piece, no disasters to speak of. He liked it when it ended this way. Solved, sorted, peace and quiet.
McCoy stretched one more time before settling down. Tomorrow would have another crisis for them, but for tonight he'd appreciate a job well done. The Enterprise- and to a greater extent, the Federation- was safe. Heck, even Jim and all the Security guys had made it through in one piece. The ship was serene.
He knew this was right where he was supposed to be. Here, he would stay.
A/N: I hope it was everything you wanted and more! Thank you so much for reading, and I'm glad all y'all have been enjoying it! If you're interested, there's a poll up for what kind of project I should tackle next. Please let me know what you think!
Now's a good a time as ever to say that I don't own Star Trek or any of its characters and things like that.
Again, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate every last one of you!