FYI, there were two updates yesterday, Ch 36 with Mary and Carson then Ch 37 with Carson and Barrow. You'll need both going forward.
Carson found Elsie assisting Mrs. Patmore in the kitchen. "This was the only room where I was unlikely to run into Mrs. Butte." She confided in a comically loud whisper. She was in a playful mood, he could see. "I've finished packing and Beryl, that is Mrs. Patmore, is going to set us up with a basket for the train trip home tomorrow. I'm putting in our order now. Which do you prefer; salmon mousse or chicken salad with watercress?"
Carson felt his chest tighten as she smiled at him, so obliviously happy. Only now that he was being denied the next few weeks with her at Downton could he feel just how much he had wanted them. He'd been slowly awakening to his true feelings for her for so long but since the day at the beach he felt as though he'd been doused in cold water which had shocked him fully awake. He now recognized in her everything that was important to him; loyalty, intelligence, compassion, spirit and love.
How had he waited so long? There's no fool, like an old fool, he thought sadly.
"Or would you prefer cucumber?" She pressed.
"I'll leave that to you and Mrs. Patmore. Would you step into my office please, there's something regarding the return to Downton which we need to discuss." He kept his voice even and Mrs. Hughes was in too fine a mood to hear the gloom in his voice.
But Beryl heard it. "Would you care for some tea, Mr. Carson?"
"No, thank you, Mrs. Patmore, we won't be requiring tea."
"Don't you have to serve luncheon?" Elsie asked, realizing that something was not quite right.
"Barrow can handle that." Charles gestured for her to lead the way to his office. As Elsie was leaving the kitchen, Mrs. Butte came bustling around the corner and almost ran into her.
"Oh, humph, ah. I was coming to get you some water to take with a headache powder, Mr. Carson." The fidgety woman said, breathily.
"I did not say I had a headache, Mrs. Butte." Carson addressed her coldly. "Haven't you somewhere else to be? Something better to be doing?"
"You're not ill, are you Mr. Carson?" Elsie asked, boldly placing her hand on Charles' face as if feeling for a fever. She saw the London housekeeper suck on the insides of her cheek in silent mortification. "You feel just fine to me."
Beryl laughed out loud and Carson suppressed a smile as Mrs. Butte turned and huffed her way out of the kitchen. "That was unkind, love." Charles said quietly.
"I know, but I could not help myself. You weren't exactly warm to her yourself. She is a silly creature." Elsie insisted as she headed to the butler's office.
But silly creatures can bite just as surely as any other creature. Charles thought morosely. He did not know how he would begin to tell her the latest developments. He fingered the ring in his pocket, but thought now was not the time for such a momentous event.
When they reached his office, Charles closed and locked the door behind him. She stood blissfully ignorant in the middle of the room watching him. He was speechless when confronted with her pure, unconcealed joy. Impulsively, he moved across the room to her, took her beaming face in his hands and kissed her with a rough passion. She had to believe beyond any doubt that he loved her if they were going to get through these next few moments and weeks.
Still smiling, Elsie fanned herself with her hand as he released her. "Goodness, whatever was that for?"
"Does it matter?" He asked, teasingly.
"Not one bit." She laughed and leaned up for a slower, more smoldering kiss. He ended up holding her tightly to him, his great hands spanning her tiny back.
"Elsie, I have some bad news." He finally began, thinking directness the best route. "James will be returning to Downton with you tomorrow."
He had to admire how quickly she recovered. Someone who did not know her as well as he did might not have seen the disappointment flash across her face or heard the pain in her voice when she asked, "What's changed?"
"Mr. Barrow decided on his own that he would not be returning to Downton and spoke to His Lordship before I could inform him of the plan."
"But it isn't his place to say where he goes or when." Elsie protested. "What exactly did he say to His Lordship?"
"He voiced concerns over my health."
Elsie laughed, not believing the absurdity of it. When Charles did not smile, she stopped laughing. "Honestly?"
"And somehow he convinced Mrs. Butte to corroborate the story."
"That little"
Carson cut her off, "In any event, Lord Grantham is very concerned about me and wants to send me to a clinic to be evaluated. I am to leave tomorrow."
"And Dr. Clarkson couldn't evaluate you at Downton?"
"Lady Mary tried to convince him of that very thing, but His Lordship is convinced there are better facilities and doctors available here in London."
"Better facilities, perhaps, but Dr. Clarkson knows you."
"His Lordship was adamant. I shall have to go to the clinic, but hopefully, not for long and then I can return directly to Downton."
"That is not so bad, then. I mean, they aren't going to find anything wrong with my big, strong man." Elsie accentuated 'big' and 'strong' with a peck on either cheek before growling the word 'man' directly onto his lips.
Charles could not help but smile at her confidence in him. The doubts and worries of mere minutes ago were nothing to him in light of her trust in him. That was going to make what he had to say next even more difficult.
"Come here, love." He requested as he settled into his leather chair. She offered him her hand and he pulled her gently onto his lap and into his arms. "There is something more we need to discuss."
Rubbing her knee absently, Charles told her about his confrontation with Barrow. He told her of the threats and the accusations. She had tried to pull away from him when he mentioned Anna, but he held her tightly and calmed her with his sad smile. Elsie was surprised to see no anger in his eyes, only hurt and disappointment. It was worse than anger.
He finished his verbatim account of the discussion, not dwelling on anything or offering any commentary. "So you see, we have a bit of a problem." He concluded anticlimactically.
"I should say so."
"I want you to know, Elsie, if two hours ago, you had asked me to retire and leave here with you today, I would have. At that point, I thought I could trust Mr. Barrow to look after the family, but he's shown his true self. I cannot leave my family and my staff to the machinations of such a man. If I do, I'm negating three decades of my life."
"I understand."
"Do you? Do you truly understand?" He looked her earnestly in the face and squeezed her hand so tightly it almost hurt. "I swear to you, Elsie, I will have this resolved by the end of this Season. And then the only thing that will matter in my life is making you happy. But I have to bury that little rat first."
"You have nothing to explain, Charles. They are our family and our staff and I shall help you. If he's going to be an ungrateful little blighter, then we had best rid ourselves of him."
"But how do we get rid of him without driving him to the newspapers? He's just mad enough to do it, you know."
"Well there's really only one way to make sure he doesn't talk." Elsie said slowly, really just thinking aloud.
Charles looked at her aghast, but then dropped his head in shame. "I almost did."
"What? You almost did what?"
"When Barrow was falling, I almost let him. It would have been so easy."
"For some people, it would have been."
Charles looked pained as he whispered. "He had just threatened you."
"I'd like to see him come after us for moral misconduct. That's the pot calling the kettle black if I ever heard it." Elsie saw Charles try to smile at her joke, but he was still obviously upset. She suspected that she knew why. "I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you about Anna. She made me promise. She threatened to do herself harm, Charles. I could not betray her trust."
Charles nodded, trying to accept her reasoning, but still ashamed that something that terrible had happened under his roof while he had known and done nothing. "Then how did Barrow come to know about it?" He wondered.
"I honestly do not know. I doubt he knows anything. He's just pieced bits together and arrived at his own conclusions."
"And are his conclusions correct? Do you suspect Mr. Bates as well?"
Elsie was not sure how to answer this. She did believe Mr. Bates capable of the act of avenging Anna and she did suspect Mr. Bates of being in London when he claimed to be in York, but did she really believe he had killed a man in cold blood? If she truly believed that, could she allow Anna to remain with such a man? "No. I don't believe Mr. Bates had anything to do with Green's death. I believe it was exactly as they said; a crowded corner with some jostling going on and a poor, unsuspecting" rapist "man ends up falling into the street in front of a lorry."
"I suppose it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Perhaps Providence was looking out for Anna after all, though it is sure to appear suspect to someone trying to make trouble." Charles pulled her closer and lay he head on her shoulder as she rested her cheek upon the top of his head.
"Are you sure you aren't angry that I didn't tell you?" She had to ask.
Beneath her, his head shook. "Angry? No. I just wish I knew why you feel you can't trust me."
His broken tone cut her to the core. She leaned down to look deeply into his sad eyes. Their foreheads and noses pressed together as she tried to convince him of her sincerity. "There is no one in this world whom I trust more than you, my love."
"Then why didn't you tell me?" He pleaded. "And I am not talking about just Anna now."
"I've explained keeping Anna's secret the best I could. You'll either accept it or not." Elsie explained rationally. "As for the other, it's a little more complicated."
"I'm listening."
Elsie gathered her thoughts as she took a deep breath. She'd given this a good deal of thought and she believed she had arrived at the truth. "My mother died of cancer." She felt Charles tense beneath her. "Not the same kind of cancer that I thought I had, but it was cancer all the same. I was away from home, working in a hotel in Glasgow. She didn't tell me she was sick. I kept writing home the normal, frivolous letters full of teenage nonsense and she wrote back to tell me about the farm. There was always something about the sheep or a horse getting into the garden.
"When her final letter came, asking for me to come home because she was ill, I was shocked and angry. When I came home, I demanded to know why my father and sister had not told me the truth and brought me home sooner. My mother said that she had forbidden them to tell me. She said that after she'd seen the pity in their faces that she didn't want that from me.
"My mother told me that my silly letters were the only part of her life the cancer had not tainted in her final months. She told me it had been a blessing to be able to have that one bit of normalcy in her life. After she died, I was glad to know I had been able to give her that."
Charles reached up and wiped the sparse tears from her cheeks with his large thumb. Her eyes sparkling with tears, Elsie took another deep breath before saying the most difficult thing she'd ever told anyone. "When I thought I might be sick, I wanted you to be that still place in my life that the cancer could never touch. I know it was selfish, but"
Charles stopped her confession with a kiss. She felt that his cheeks were wet as well. "Shhh, love. I understand." He kissed the salty tracks the tears had left on her face before smiling at her. "You must come from a long line of stubborn women."
"Scotland is full of stubborn women." Elsie chuckled, petting a few stray strands of his hair back into place. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed her caresses.
"I always pictured it full of bonnie lassies."
"Oh, aye, bonnie, stubborn lassies." She laughed for a bit before whispering in his ear. "Thank you, Charles."
"Thank you, my bonnie lass."
The two sat silently, wrapped in each other's arms and in each other's confidence. The noise outside the door grew as family luncheon was ending and the transition to servant's meal began.
"After luncheon, we should meet back here." Carson offered. "You are free from any household duties and I can hardly be expected to do any more work if I am about to keel over from some unnamed heart malady. We need to discuss our plans before we go our separate ways tomorrow."
Elsie nodded her agreement and snuggled closer to him when he mentioned their parting.
"Take heart, love. We have at least one advantage over Mr. Barrow."
"How is that?"
"He thinks this is a game, something he can win with smugness and gall."
"And is it not a game?"
"No. He threatened my family. To him it is a game. To me, it is a war."
He looked so intense and passionate, Elsie's only response was to take his face in her hands and kiss him fiercely.
Looking embarrassed, Charles asked, "What was that for?"
"Does it matter?"
"Not one bit." He laughed and kissed her in return with somber dignity.
When this kiss reluctantly ended, Elsie took his hand and placed it over her heart along with her own hand. She laced her fingers in his and made a fist between them as she locked his eyes with her gaze. "I've already told you, Charles. They are our family and we will fight for them together."
Charles smiled as he raised their joined fist upwards and kissed the pulse point on her strong and delicate wrist. "I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard."
"I don't." Elsie laughed with stern determination before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing Charles as one would kiss a lover going off to war.
TBC…
A/N Tomorrow will be their evening meeting and a glimpse at their plan of attack against Barrow before a long weekend break. I've nearly reached the end of my roughed out story, so your input is particularly influential now.
Edited to Add:: My apologies to those looking for Chapter 39. Time got away from me. I will be away from a computer for a long weekend. Next update will be Tuesday at the latest. This is a better place to end it than the little I have for the next Chapter. I promise to make it up to you with a tiny side project I am working on...GraysonSteele knows what I am talking about.