Chapter 38: Manners

The wind through the ramparts was blowing more strongly than at ground level, so the moment they climbed the stairs, Evey felt the bitter chill typical of mornings at high altitude, the spring not yet able to thaw off the cold that still lingered long after the night was over. At least, that's what she told herself over and over. Nevertheless, she had to admit that last look she'd seen on Cullen's face had sent a chill from the back of her neck and down her spine, and when she'd stepped outside with Sebastian, she prayed not to cross paths with him again during their stroll… Even if, at the same time, she surreptitiously glanced around everywhere to find him.

They ascended the stairs quietly, Sebastian trying to take in all that was Skyhold, and at the same time giving her enough space to process all that had happened. He was no fool, and despite not reacting to it at the time, he had watched the Commander's departure. It was easy to imagine that there was something behind his attitude, though he could not quite pinpoint what it was. Evelyn did not seem particularly attached to him, but the Commander harbored a possessiveness toward her that bordered on obsession, at least from the vantage point of an outsider.

Inwardly he couldn't blame the Commander for anything except not being able to secure a place at her side even long after the Conclave was destroyed, as he so obviously desired. Back in his most rakish days, Sebastian would have surely employed a myriad of strategies to secure her affections. Yet he could tell from just a few minutes after meeting her that even in his adolescence, when he had not been "out of the game" and his morals had been nearly nonexistent, it would have taken careful planning and the use of all his charisma to make her yield to his charms. Evelyn was not easily impressionable. She was an educated, intelligent woman who had enough wit to challenge his own, so she would never fall prey to a winning smile or a few whispers in the dark. In his youth, he would have taken her as a personal challenge, becoming obsessed with her to the point where he would have done the unthinkable to get her into bed.

Now Sebastian was more mature, and a great deal wiser. The idea of tricking someone just to brag about his unrivalled magnetism with women, or his many conquests, wasn't an appealing idea to him anymore. In those days, he had treated each night of passion as little more than a way to show the world that he was completely irresistible, that with nothing but his own eloquence and looks he could conquer any woman he desired, as well as master the Orlesian art of The Game. Over the years, though, he had learned to respect those women trusting and innocent enough to fall for a libertine, which he had undeniably been during his adolescence. However, he especially admired those who would have posed a challenge worthy of his obsession and, as he suspected was Evelyn's case, valued those who would have been next to impossible to convince, even then. He wanted to believe that with enough time he would have conquered her as well. A brash part of him that the Chantry had not been able to eradicate from his personality still needed to enjoy those private ego boosts, telling himself that if he fought for it, there would be no woman able to resist him.

But deep down, Sebastian knew that he was as fallible and human as anyone, and therefore completely undesirable for some women, even if the sheer notion hurt him in his male pride.

Ironically enough, and unbeknownst to him, it was only now that he had more of a chance to win Evey's heart, since it was now that he possessed characteristics that Evelyn found desirable, whereas he'd lacked many of them when he had thought himself irresistible. Not that she was considering it. Quite frankly, she was doing all in her power to avoid thinking about anything that resembled love in all forms right now, but she could easily see why there had been so many longing sighs when the Prince had arrived, even when those had been prompted more by his striking features than anything else. After all, no one apart from Varric and Hawke had known Sebastian for more than a few minutes… Except maybe the Commander.

Evelyn cursed herself under her breath. There she went again, thinking of Cullen. They had made it to the top of the ramparts and she had still been thinking of him ever since he had stormed away in the Main Hall. His face had looked so heartbroken, almost pleading her not to take the Prince's hand...

At the memory, a shudder traveled down her spine.

Deciding to distract herself with light small talk with Sebastian, Evey stopped short when she felt a heavy fabric fall over her shoulders, only to immediately be followed by his arms surrounding her from behind and securing it with a pin engraved with Andraste's stoic face.

-Here… You seem cold,- were Sebastian's soft words once he'd covered her.

Surprised, Evelyn looked at his retreating hands and found his fly plaid over her shoulders and chest, Andraste looking off into the distance over her heart. Briefly she wondered if the Prince had secured the pin there purposely, or just by coincidence.

-I... Thank you, Sebastian. You're very kind, but now you're going to be cold instead.

He almost laughed then, silently acknowledging all the answers he would have given her in the past, most of them regarding the fact that he would avoid the chill if she shared her warmth with him.

-Don't worry after me; I've plenty of clothes. Besides...- His confident smile flickered beneath the surface for a second while he walked to stand next to her, -I'm not the one with my back uncovered.

Were those his fingers running over her lower back? She looked at him and, seeing that he was more focused on the mountain view than her, discarded the idea as ridiculous. Both his hands were, after all, in front of him.

-Well, remind me to ask you to talk to Josephine about the disadvantages of dressing like a lady.

Sebastian's lip rose then, and he looked back at her from the corner of his eyes.

-I'm afraid I'll have to decline, Evelyn, since doing so might lead to never seeing you in such finery again.

Honestly unable to help herself, she blushed. He had the ability to flatter her and slightly embarrass her at the same time.

-I'm making you uncomfortable; I'm sorry.

-No, don't worry about it. It's just that...- She looked at him suddenly, worried her next statement might come off as offensive. Then she sighed and continued. -Well, to be honest, you don't really act like someone who spent all those years in the Chantry.

Sebastian turned to look at her then, leaning on his left side against the battlements' wall. He was smiling, thoroughly amused.

-You know… I could say the same about you.

She laughed, knowing he had answered exactly as she would have.

-You got me there.

-You are not the first person to make that observation, though,- he sighed. -Being in the Chantry allows you many advantages over the common man. -He smirked then, his mind recalling a memory. -My grandfather used to say, "The Maker ordained a place for each of us. We have only to serve."- His eyes left her to instead concentrate on the horizon beyond Skyhold's walls. -At first, I thought my place was to enjoy all of life's salacious pleasures, and I didn't care if that was what the Maker wanted for me or not. Then I became… almost obsessed with His plan for me, desperate to fulfill the duty He had bestowed upon my heart, but even if at the time I felt blessed by the chance of a life of contemplation, I struggled with my nature.

He favored her over the view again, his eyes looking at her now with a mixture of intrigue and unabashed interest.

-Whether I'm a Brother of the Chantry or the Prince of Starkhaven, I'm still a man.- He smiled again, not quite hiding a hint of primal desire as he stole a quick glance at her figure surreptitiously. -The difference is that now I am free to admire a woman's beauty without having to ask for forgiveness later.

oOo

Cullen had been nursing a headache for so long that he was having difficulty remembering the exact moment when it began, and now to make things maddeningly worse, his back was killing him, entirely due to being unable to relax since Josephine had announced the day before that they were receiving Sebastian Vael's visit this morning.

He had planned to use whatever time was left before Evelyn ventured out on another mission to explain what had happened, or at least as much as he had been able to figure out. He was still unsure as to why he had reacted that way, and the possibilities were too numerous to consider all of them as plausible. It could have been the lyrium in his body dipping to the lowest point it had ever been, the withdrawal sapping his strength and making him react in the basest of ways. Or perhaps it was partially his own fault, confusing the burning need for the lyrium with his alarming desire to have Evelyn in his arms once again after a long absence. There was the possibility of both those factors combining with the unfortunate fact that she had been emanating uncontrolled power from the unstable mark. Or maybe it was just him that had been too weary and weak to control the lingering power in his blood in the presence of magical abilities, even when those were not exactly the ones he had been trained to guard against. No matter what, the reality was one: He had attacked her, and the only chance he had to make her hear his excuses in order to recognize his deep regret and shame for it had been completely destroyed with the arrival of the Prince, who had been adamant in hoarding her time and attention from the moment he rode into Skyhold, leaving her available only to Josephine, the master puppeteer of another one of her social gatherings.

He knew they were out there on the ramparts together. There was no need to see it to confirm it was happening. And the parallels between the last time Evelyn was there with him were not helping his backache. He was tense, like a bowstring that had been pulled too far for too long, but without any chance of letting it snap eventually. Up until that morning, his uneasiness laid in the idea that the Prince would consume much of her time without giving him the opportunity to speak to her in private and explain himself, but now it was far worse. Long gone was the pious Brother, replaced by a man that seemed to have left the Chantry's teachings behind and, contrary to what he would have expected, was more focused on Evelyn as a woman than as the Herald of Andraste. And now because of him, she was free to accept Sebastian if she so wished.

Somehow he didn't even feel worthy enough to pray to Andraste or the Maker for aid in this situation. After what he had done, and considering who was now competing with him, he knew his God and His Bride would favor Sebastian over him any day.

But it just didn't feel right.

He was immersed in those thoughts when the door in front of him opened violently, almost banging clear against the wall. Guided by that image, he would have assumed it was one of his soldiers with an emergency missive, or even one of the strongest members of the Inner Circle. So when he raised his eyes and saw it was actually Josephine looming in the doorway, he immediately lost his ability to speak, which apparently was ideal for her since she began to rant at him nonstop the moment he caught sight of her.

-Are you out of your mind?- Then she seemed to realize her voice had raised a little too much, especially with the Inquisitor and the Prince somewhere in the ramparts. She took a step forward and closed the door with utmost care, though that same care vanished when she turned again to look at him, fire in her green eyes despite her voice being significantly lowered. -You must be! Otherwise I cannot fathom why would you do such a thing to me! To all of us! Maker, to the Inquisitor!

-And what, pray tell, have I done that is so terrible?- he asked already knowing the answer and regretting it immediately. He was nowhere near in a good enough state to listen Josephine rant, but if it was as necessary as she thought it was, he should have just shut his mouth and listened until she had run out of things to say. Instead here he was, throwing wood into an already raging inferno. All because of his sour mood.

-You dare to ask?- It was a rhetorical question apparently, since the Ambassador didn't give him a second to answer, rushing toward him with her notepad clutched in her right hand for dear life.- You insulted the Prince in front of all Skyhold!- She emphasized her words, raising her hands in the air as if not sure what else to do with them.

She was about to keep going, but the moment she paused to take a breath, Cullen interrupted.

-I might not be as versed as you are in manners, but I did no such thing. Am I a child that needs to be excused from a table?

-Sometimes I do wonder, Cullen, considering how you behave!- she countered immediately.

-Really? I'm surprised, considering how you indulged him then and how you so conveniently forget that all of Skyhold also witnessed that man blatantly grope her in front of everyone... with your permission, I might add.

Josephine opened her eyes as big as saucers and shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe he had the gall to raise such an accusation.

-Are you insinuating I would ever use her as social leverage in the most crude and offensive manner?- Her words were measured, almost as if she was daring Cullen to tarnish their argument by calling it by another name.

The Commander felt an evil, yet detached grin surface without even being aware he was doing it. It was not a victorious smile, nor one born of satisfaction. In fact, it was more of a strange kind of grimace that preluded what he thought would be the best way to make Josephine storm out, mortally offended but leaving him to burn in his private Void.

-Not quite. I lack the dexterity with words to put it so elegantly.

Josephine took a moment to regain her composure. Cullen could almost hear her actually counting to ten in the hopes of stopping a sudden urge to strangle him. Then the ambassador stepped forward to his desk and leaned over it with both hands gripping the wood, saying slowly.

-Listen to me, you... brute!- Then she sighed again, closing her eyes as she let her breath out, and opened them to a new woman, one more centered. -There was nothing untoward with the way the Prince treated her. He was a complete gentleman, and therefore I did not need to do anything to persuade him to do otherwise. The only one present behaving poorly was you, trying to do Maker knows what, challenging him to a game and disregarding protocol completely by leaving the table first!

In a perfect display of the very same thing he was being accused of, Cullen interrupted her.

-He was the one that insisted on dropping protocol, Josephine!

-With the Inquisitor, Cullen! Not you!- Josephine's voice pitched high out of control, and she immediately looked at the western door out of fear that the Inquisitor and the Prince had heard her. Hearing nothing, she once again sighed and, with a coldness Cullen had never seen before from her, added, -Mark my words Commander: if you have ruined a possible alliance with Starkhaven...

Once again, Cullen chimed in without preamble.

-It won't. I daresay he would do anything to remain in her good graces. Just as you do with him.

Josephine was not deterred by the defiant tone in Cullen's words nor his unveiled accusation of bending backwards to please the Prince. Glaring at him with the closest thing to hate she was able to muster at someone who was not truly hated by her, she answered in a tone that resembled a little girl in a tantrum:

-Good! I won't have your undiplomatic manners ruining this for her.- She pointed at him as if accusing him of that exact thing in that moment, just by virtue of being alive. Then she pushed herself up softly and looked down on him from the advantageous and fleeting angle she had, so long as he remained sitting in his chair. -You're the head of an army, Commander. Please act accordingly!- She made the smallest pause in between the last three words as if to make sure they stuck inside his thick head. After that, her eyes looked almost pleading. -The Prince is the best candidate the Inquisitor will ever meet!

For a second Cullen feared he was trapped in his own nightmare. Surely he had heard her wrong.

-...Candidate for what, exactly?- His words were soft and hesitant, but the feeling was diametrically opposed to Josephine's. As she took a moment to calm herself, his desperation began to raise at an alarming rate. Whether it ended up maiming him depended entirely on Josephine's answer.

-For suitor, of course.

The answer came casually, Josephine glancing down at her board again as if their discussion was no longer important, the topic long exhausted by now, and quite frankly boring her already.

Cullen, on the other hand, felt his whole world collapsing. When he spoke, he did so with a thread of voice.

-Is that… the real reason why he's here?

At this Josephine raised her eyes, looking at him as she would had done to an impetuous child.

-Well, not entirely. Not at first, at least. But they have left the Chantry long enough to consider it. Besides, the Inquisition could use their support, and Starkhaven is in dire need of an heir.

The sole mention of an heir, a child born of Evelyn from another man, made him see red, wanting nothing more than to march out of his office and find Evey to yell what Josephine was brewing behind her back. But it was short lived. The mere idea of how she would surely look at him if he even dared to approach her, paired with the exhaustion he felt that resembled that of a week of unrelenting battle instead of merely two whole days of sheer despair from the moment he smote her with an ability that was no longer fully at his disposal, and at the same time destroying all chances he ever had to achieve anything that resembled happiness, made him feel like the whole world had fallen over him. If Corypheus had entered at that exact moment, lifted him off his feet as he had done with Evelyn all those months ago, and crushed his head against the floor, it wouldn't have hurt as much as this.

It was the last piece of the puzzle. Between Josephine's machinations, Leliana's abilities, Sebastian's charm, and his own stupidity that had robbed him of the only thing that might have made her reconsider in the light of this upcoming proposal, she was as good as lost to him. And that was not it; this was just beginning. He would be forced to witness this man take her from him, being unable to do anything but watch. And the one that had set all of this in motion was now casually strolling through his office, almost as if she were waiting to see how he crumbled under the weight of his broken dreams.

For a second, he honestly feared what he was capable of doing if Josephine lingered there much longer. He liked the Ambassador, respected her, and deep down he knew she was acting for the good of them all, searching for a man that would be able to give Evelyn everything Cullen never could, while at the same time not condemning her to a marriage that lacked all redeemable qualities besides financial security. He knew Sebastian well enough to know that he was in fact an amazing candidate, but the notion that she might be better off in another's arms clouded all reason.

Slowly, almost predatorily, he raised his eyes to Josephine, a thread of his voice forcing its way out of a suddenly dried throat.

-Leave me alone.

The tone had been too soft even to travel the short distance that separated him from the Ambassador, and Josephine looked back at him with the same charming smile as always which, even knowing it was not the case, looked fake and rehearsed in Cullen's eyes.

-What was that, Commander?

Cullen's hands were now gripping his armrests like a vice, his knuckles a pale white with the effort. Once again, he looked into Josephine's eyes, a murderous glint shining behind his amber irises, almost biting out his words.

-Leave. Me. Alone.

oOo

If Sebastian hadn't shown an interest in the wondrous mare he had seen upon his arrival, leading them to make a trip to the stables just a couple of minutes after Josephine entered Cullen's office, and they had remained talking in the ramparts instead, Evelyn and the Prince would have been able to hear what most of the soldiers on the Inquisition's army referred to as "the Lion's roar," followed closely by a strong crash against the southern door.

The one that heard it, naturally, was Josephine, making her leap several paces away in shock as she left his office in what almost mirrored the childish skips she used to take in her father's courtyard when she was no more than five years of age. At least she had managed to stifle the fearful scream that had nearly escaped from her throat.

The Commander's rage seemed exaggerated to say the least, and it baffled her so immensely that she knew there was no way she could simply go back to her office and work. In the time it took to close the distance that separated the rotunda from what she was inclined to call "the lion's den", she decided a quick visit to Leliana was paramount.

By the time she reached the rookery, her mood had soured even more, if that was possible. She hated this place, though she would never say so with those words. It was dark even during the day, constantly echoing with the caws of crows, and it had a distinctive smell that she found quite offensive to her nose. To make matters worse, Leliana did not seem to acknowledge any of those unresolved problems, instead being perfectly comfortable to spend most of her days at her desk reading one of her many spy reports, surrounded by the screeching, unhygienic animals. Still, all those details which would have moved Josephine to demand a new office did not affect Leliana, who instead raised her hooded head in surprise, but with an inviting smile nonetheless, when she saw the Ambassador approaching her desk.

-Josephine! What do you need?

The Antivan knew Leliana noticed her uneasiness, but she was not exactly sure if the Spymaster would only think it was due to the crow's proximity or if she understood that something else was bothering her.

The point was moot of course. Leliana was one of the best spies (if not the best) and little went over her. She was extremely perceptive, and even if Josephine had tried to hide it, she would have known immediately. The funny part was that the ambassador was not sure whether Leliana would notice the true extent of her worry, even when it was almost written in every move and look she sent her way. Nevertheless, Josie was a lady first, and all other aspects came later, so it was on those terms that she grabbed a chair which was almost hidden behind a couple of barrels, trying her very best not to flinch at the less than pristine state of said chair, and placing it close to Leliana's on the same side of the desk. She whispered indignantly, making sure none of Leliana's men would hear.

-You will not believe what just happened.- The redheaded Bard did not have time to ask before she explained. -I went to speak to the Commander about his scandalous behavior during breakfast and he actually,- she lowered her voice a little bit more and leaned closer, -kicked me out of his office!

Leliana made a great effort not to laugh or even smirk at Josephine's indignant tone, instead enjoying the other woman's complete ignorance regarding the Commander's obvious display of possessiveness over breakfast.

-Truly? Maybe you just caught him at an awkward moment?- Leliana loved to play dumb in these cases, and this time it did no harm to anyone to indulge, except perhaps Josephine's nerves, but she was planning on calming her worry eventually.

-To be honest, I could not care less. Who does he think he is? -Without being fully aware of it, Josephine had raised the tenor of her voice higher and higher with each word, to the point that now probably even Solas would be able to hear her. And with his ears, she did not doubt this observation much. -Talking like that to a Prince! And then when I try to teach him how to be civilized, he accuses me of... of...-She was choking, as if she couldn't stomach to repeat Cullen's accusation.

Leliana waited a full five second period to give Josie the opportunity to voice it on her own, but when the ambassador just fell silent and shook her head, Leliana realized she needed a nudge into the right direction.

-Of...?- she inquired in a tone that reflected perfect innocence.

Josephine let out a heavy sigh, taking a second to calm herself and brace for what she needed to repeat, fearing this might be what finally triggered one of the hysterical attacks that made her infamous among her family. When she felt she had gathered enough calm to keep going, she glanced at Leliana and whispered.

-He accuses me of being some sort of… madam in a whore house!- The way she said the word "whore", as if it was a bitter taste that sullied her tongue, made Leliana finally snap and eventually led her to laugh out loud, to Josephine's complete shock.

-Josie isn't it obvious?- By the look on Josephine's face, it wasn't. -The Commander is jealous. I thought you knew people better than this.- The ambassador still seemed at a loss, looking at her with furrowed brows. -My spies have told me many things about them. He even used one of my birds to communicate with her the last two times she was away. Honestly, I fear what he will do once she travels beyond the Dales. That particular bird can only fly there. - Slowly, things seemed to be dawning on Josephine's mind, like pieces in a puzzle falling into place. -I'm not saying the Prince is not a good match, but be aware of who else may have been interested in courting her.

And somewhat succeeding from what I heard, at least before whatever happened that drove them apart, Leliana thought, but said nothing. Josephine didn't need to know that, nor was she prepared to hear it, considering how confused she looked in that moment.

Deep down, behind the amusement Josephine's face provoked in her, Leliana felt terribly for the Commander. He had been so close, according to what her spies had told her, but somewhere along the road, one of them had made a mistake, and now he was living a torturous existence.

One that has only just begun, she reminded herself.