Near's P.O.V.

I head to see Beyond in jail and I know that he isn't going to be here for much longer as he has told me. I stand in front of the bars to B's prison cell and I look into his lonely cell.

There he is sitting against a far wall away from the bars looking to the wall above the bed.

I grip the bars and I look sadly at him. "Beyond Birthday. Daddy." I gain the attention of B. I meet his eyes and I know no matter what I can't do a thing to help him. I slide down the bars until I am sitting on my knees in front of his cell lightly gripping the bars. "We've always had each other."

B comes over to me sitting in front of me on the other side of the bars he holds out his hand with pinkie extended.

I raise a hand linking pinkies with him. "Just you, me and A. Well you and me after…" I can't finish that. "What am I gonna do?" I look down slightly.

B lets go of my pinkie letting my hand drop to my side and he wraps his arms around me hugging me through the bars.

I sniffle. "Do you wanna go murder someone?" I say softly and sadly.

B hugs me a little tightly. "Nate. Oh Nate River my son. I am so sorry." He apologises in my ear.

I hug him tightly and I wish that somewhere sometime we could all just restart this and live happily….. if only such a thing could happen…

Mello's P.O.V.

Almost three years later Nate finally became too far gone to be helped as others say.

The news that caused this was the Beyond Birthday was killed by Kira. The body was not shown but not all criminals that are killed have their faces and bodies shown.

I refuse to give up hope and I hate what Nate has become but I continue to try to bring him back to me.

Everyone else says there's no hope for him to become who he was now but I don't listen… Even…. If it's starting to seem like I have lost my Nate forever.

I feel my heart start to break at the mere thought of it. I can't let what they say get to me! I may be getting frustrated with him but if I abandon hope he WILL be gone out of reach forever. I swear I can still feel a tiny bit of him that I am still able to hold keeping it from slipping from my grasp.

As sad as it is and as much as it hurts me and Nate have started fighting. We are not getting along like we used to and I would have never expected what would finally shatter my heart.

"Near!" I snap his alias angrily. "Stop pushing me away and let me help you!"

Nate's dead eyes stare into my flaming ones. "I don't require the assistance of anyone."

"This isn't you!" I growl grabbing him by the collar of his shirt brining him closer to me.

He doesn't even flinch.

The hall we are standing in is empty as the others that live here have learned to keep their distance when me and Nate are fighting.

Anyone who is too close when the two of us are fighting has a death wish upon themselves. Like when our first fight, which in truth was rather small, happened the day Nate got the news that Beyond was dead.

Flash back:

"Near!" I call to him as he walks past me with his head down.

He stops walking but doesn't look at me and keeps his hands in his pockets.

I approach him ignoring the others that happened to be where we are.

Matt tries to call to me saying he isn't sure it's a good idea but Matt approached Nate one time when he was like this after A's death….. Matt was lucky to escape that without having to go to the hospital just barely though he spent awhile in the infirmary.

I ignore him and I place a hand on Nate's shoulder. "Near what's wrong?" I ask him gently.

He shakes my hand off and shakes his head before continuing to walk away not saying a peep.

"Near!" I give chase grabbing him by his shoulders spinning him around to face me. "If you don't want to talk about here just say so but tell me what's wrong!"

"Let go of me." He says in a low voice that if it held the emotions he was holding back it would be most likely be terrifying to hear. He however doesn't make a move to push me away.

"No. You know you can trust me so why won't you let me know what's wrong!" I demand.

He looks up to me and though it may seem like he holds no emotions to outsiders well I can see he is feeling a lot sadness and mental pain right now. "I said to let go of me." He puts one of his hands on my chest and strongly shoves me off of him. His other hand stays in his pocket.

I stumble back and before I can move forward to try to get to him again he turns walking away again but a touch quicker. I catch a glimpse of his eyes scanning those also in the room almost as if to know where and who they are. I quickly move to go after him. "Don't think it's that easy." I am approaching him quickly but he makes an unexpected move that threw me off guard along with everyone else.

He grabbed the nearest person to him and traps the younger girl against himself with her back to his chest. He pulls the hand he had been keeping in his pocket revealing a knife and puts it against her neck.

I stop in my tracks.

He narrows his eyes slightly as he watches me but doing his best to watch everyone else mainly out of the corner of his eyes as I am his main focus.

"Near there is no need for that. This isn't the streets. No one is looking to kill you so let her go." I try to reason with him as I try to move closer to him but stop.

He presses the knife's blade harder against the girl's throat every time anyone tries to get closer.

There's some beads of blood rolling down her neck and I know that Nate will not hesitate to kill her in a heartbeat.

"Near let her go she has nothing to do with whatever's going on. Just trust me." I try to reason with him again as I hear panicked voices of the others around me. I know that getting close to him right now means the life of that girl so that's not a smart move.

"You let her go!" The lowest ranking kid here yells charging forward.

Nate looks to him then slices open the girl's throat making her drop dead to the floor as he lets go of her.

The lowest ranking boy quickly grabs her body and stares in horror.

"Stay away from me!" Nate almost shouts taking a few steps back.

The other kids start backing off terrified for their lives.

I can only bet that by now Rodger will be running down here but he should know that against Nate even he stands no chance of winning. I know I can't just let him go like this and it'll be safer to approach him when we are alone so no more of these idiots get killed. I take a step forward staring right at Nate's eyes as his eyes scan everyone warning them to not get close. I open my mouth to speak.

But the lowest ranking kid rushes towards Nate.

Nate is going to kill him!

"Stay back you idiot!" I shout but he doesn't listen so I rush forward to try to stop him.

Nate's eyes look to me for a second then he looks back to the boy. He just holds the knife lowered but the tip of the blade facing the boy.

I know what's going to happen but everyone else is muttering that Nate feels remorse for killing the girl so he is letting the boy attack him.

That's not the case and never will be.

I open my mouth to shout and I am almost close enough to grab Nate which won't do too much but at least it'll spare one more life.

The boy reaches Nate before me and he suddenly stops in his tracks eyes widening.

The others are whispering wondering what happened because they aren't at an angel they can see what happened… unlike me.

I reach towards Nate but I know it's too late.

Nate pulls then knife out of the boy's stomach and watches as the boy falls to his knees then to the ground.

The boy may be alive for the next minute or so but he's a goner because no one can give him the medical treatment he needs that second, at least in time.

I touch Nate's shoulder and as he turns to attack me I try to grab his wrist to stop him. I get my hand cut and he pushes me away.

Kids are too close and trying to check on the two dead kids that I hadn't even bothered to really learn their names.

There was no way to keep track of Nate and before anyone knew it he had vanished.

Rodger skids to a stop panting and demands what happened.

I look around for Nate knowing he probably vanished somewhere in the orphanage as he is too upset about something to actually leave…. Sadly I can feel the pieces becoming very small in my hands letting me know that he is shattering maybe even to the point some would say beyond repair.

He became more empty looking.

End of flashback.

"The you I know and love is not this empty shell of a robot I see before me! It's not right to see you like this!" I tell him angered, slightly repeating myself from earlier fights.

"Then Mello." His gaze doesn't falter. "If I'm so offensive to you now then why are still here?"

I feel my eyes widen and my hand start shaking as I let my grip loosen.

He gets out of my grasp and turns leaving me alone in the hall. His eyes didn't meet mine again and after his final words were out his eyes looked everywhere but my eyes however I don't really notice.

I can hear my heart breaking in my ears like glass shattering on tile floor. I turn and race to my room slamming the door behind me.

Near's P.O.V.

I close my room door behind me. I lean against it and slide down it now that I am alone in my room. I did my best to let Mello help me but he didn't seem to notice at all.

Mello is the last person who can help me but it seems like I have lost my last connection of brining me back to myself... But I guess it's my fault isn't it for what I said. He has the power to bring back some of the Nate he loves but he's letting it slide through his fingers like sand.

I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my crossed arms on them with my forehead on top. I let myself cry for the feeling of the bit of my heart Mello holds breaking like a twig. I let my tears become my pain falling away from myself before I can grasp it to try to keep myself feeling at least something. I doubt I'll be able to look at Mello for a while, when I'll be able to look at him again I don't know. "I'm sorry." I whimper between soft sobs. "I'm so sorry." I wish I hadn't said such hurtful things to him, this guilt isn't really a feeling but I feel guilty for once in my life.

As time passed neither me nor Mello could even face each other. Our pain from our bad break up hangs over our heads like a storm cloud worsening every time we even looks at each other.

A few months later I want to at least be talking to Mello again.

The cold grip of the loneliness is starting to really get to me.

Mello still won't even face me but now that I think about it maybe I really was too harsh the last time we talked… Harsher then I originally thought.

I couldn't stop it, the words tumbling out of my mouth at that time of our last talk but I wish I did stop them. I wish I did so badly.

More months later me and Mello were called to Rodgers office to find out that L is dead.

I don't like L and I manage to get Mello to at least look at me in Rodgers office even if my words weren't directed about him but about L.

Beyond told me that L is the reason A is dead and I know that A would be still alive if it wasn't for L.

Who else could have killed A then that selfish L!

Every time Mello looked at me my heart skipped a beat in a small spark of happiness.

He leaves and I feel my heart sink that he wouldn't work with me.

I couldn't look to him the whole time we were in there, I couldn't bring myself to do it but I just hoped Mello could see my guilt of what I said on our last fight. I can only hope that he will come around and that I will actually see him once again.

During the Kira case, surprising the team that worked to try catch me with my presence along with who I seemed to have become, I couldn't stop from having him in my thoughts almost all the time though I didn't mind. When he came to retrieve the picture I had of him and he told me that Shinigamis exist it was the first time in what has felt like forever that I actually looked to him.

Too bad he didn't stick around and when his death was announced to me I felt myself become someone that couldn't be saved any longer and I felt myself become stuck as the robotic empty shell of the person I used to be.

I caught Kira and worked to surpass L even letting the world know that the real L is dead and now I am the world's greatest detective's successor N. I strive to become better than L just like I promised B I would. I'm sure one day I'll be with BB, A and Mello again like how things used to be and I wish that time would fast forward to that point.

These cold lonely days and nights feel long but I work on cases and play with my toys to make time go by faster.

The day that I will die I will be truly happy once again but until then I will keep my promises I made to A and BB. Those promises are the only reason I keep on living.