AN: Thank you for being patient my friends. I think you will like the developments in this chapter! :)

Chapter 38. Clarity

Anne would insist upon calling my spending time with Caleb a date, and I couldn't budge her.

"I bet he comes over here in different clothes." she teased at about fifteen minutes to five. "And he'll smell good."

I uncrossed my legs and then recrossed them, my fingertips running across the tweed fabric of the armchair. I had changed, but I had drummed up the reason for that to be the fact that I had been thoroughly splashed by a muddy puddle due to L earlier when he had stomped out of the car at the Cornells, not because I was trying to impress anyone. "Well that's just because he's been working all day. I don't blame him one bit for wanting to put on clean clothes and spruce himself up a little. But it's not for me."

"Sure, Grace. Sure." Anne good naturedly rolled her eyes as Liam walked into the room despondent. "What's the matter, hun?" she asked him, touching his hand as he stopped by the sofa.

He sighed heavily. "I still can't believe L just left like that. I hope he didn't think I didn't want him here because of the insomnia thing. I just needed to sleep. He shouldn't have taken offense to that. Where will he go?"

Frustration filled me at the mention of that letter, that stubborn boychild who had stormed off because he didn't like the friends I kept. "Oh, don't worry about him. Really. It's not like he's shivering in a gutter somewhere. I promise."

No, he was likely in the lap of luxury surrounded by pastries baked by the phenomenal chefs at the Savoy without a care in the world. I wondered why he was bothering to stay in town anyway. It wasn't like he was worried about my well-being anymore. He might as well have gone on to Scotland at this point.

Liam looked a little less distraught. "Oh, well. Mum wants to make sure he's being well looked after. So, if you see him again, Grace, can you just tell her he's all right to ease her mind?"

"Well looked after?! Ha!" I laughed bitter and sharp as the doorbell rang.

Liam glanced at me confused but left us to go answer the door.

"You might want to tone the sarcasm down a bit, girl." Anne advised with a barely hidden smile. "People might get the impression that you miss him or something."

"Miss him?!" my voice hit a higher pitch. "Anne, do be serious."

"Uh, hiya Gracie."

I jumped to my feet at the sound of the hearty, friendly voice filling the front room. Caleb stood next to Liam in a flannel shirt with a bottle green jumper layered over it and a fresh pair of trousers. I also couldn't deny that he did smell pleasant, a spicy, woodsy scent that suited him well. I hated it when Anne was right.

"Oh, hi Caleb. Uh, here already?"

Liam looked at me even more strangely. "He lives across the way!"

Caleb chuckled. "Yeah, already here. I can step outside and wait until exactly five to knock if you'd like me to."

I reddened and picked up my coat hanging over the chair. "Oh no, that's not needed. Shall we go, then?"

Caleb glanced around the room and then towards the kitchen and stairway. "Is it just you lot here?"

"L's not here, don't worry." Anne joked, sobering when I shot her a black look. "He took Jude out. Nan's meeting with Mrs. Soudery over at the park for their usual "stitch and bitch", Daisy and Paul went out for Tandoori, Jamie's working and Mitsi's doing a shop." She finished and took a needed breath. Anne had transplanted her skill of knowing the whereabouts of the Wammy kids at any time to her new location. I wasn't surprised at her success.

"Stitch and bitch?" Caleb and I repeated at the same time and Liam laughed.

"It's like their knitting club. It doesn't sound like it though, does it?"

"Well no." I started to put on my coat when I felt someone grabbing it behind me. I turned my head to see Caleb holding it open for me with a smile.

"Just giving you a hand, Gracie."

I refused to meet the telltale look in Anne's eyes as I allowed him to help me into my coat, blushing all the while. "Thanks."

"Not at all."

Anne and Liam followed us to the door arm in arm. "Have fun you two! And remember to behave now!"

I muttered a very insulting retort in Spanish and Caleb glanced at me in a variant of awe. "Wow Gracie, I didn't know you could speak other languages! How many do you know?"

Embarrassed, I walked beside him down the street. "Just a few really." Well, more than a few, but it wasn't like I wanted him to know that. I doubt he'd find me normal after the list.

The kids at the house still talked about the Trilingual Row of 2000. Of course, it was one of L's and mine, resulting from another of his inconsiderate comments that I had taken offense. The one that had caused the argument was his claim that no one thought that the Detective L is a female. I had of course claimed that the theoretical mysterious entity was sexless, and it didn't matter what it was as long as it got the job done. L had taken that rebuttal as an insult on his gender identity and claimed that he was just as much a man as anyone else.

The row in itself was pretty tame by our standards, but people still discussed it because it had been carried out in three different languages. First English, then I had begun disagreeing in Japanese, into which he followed suit, ending with us both fighting in Spanish. The final result was that it didn't matter who L was as long as he/she/they existed. Not that anyone understood the denouement of the row but us. Fritz had held his head between his hands and commented how we sounded like the bloody United Nations. Anne had said we had sounded like a good telenovela.

"Wow, that's really something." Caleb remarked as we stopped to wait for the bus. "Maybe you can teach me French sometime. I've always wanted to go to Paris. The markets there always looked like they would be worth the visit."

"Me too!" I cried with a grin. "It sounds so lovely."

"All those lights, twinkling like across the night. I gotta see that." He grew wistful as the red double-decker bus pulled up and we stepped on. "It's just something in life you can't miss."

"I couldn't agree more."

We made our way to the middle of the bus and sat down in a seat. "Well maybe we'll get to see it someday." He mentioned a little soft and I nervously slid closer to the window.

"Oh yes, Anne and Lee would love it too. And all the kids back home, it'd be such an adventure for everybody." Just not an excursion I would want to be the sole chaperone for.

"Right, everybody." His tone wasn't as jovial as before. "Er, you look real nice tonight."

I looked down at my coat quizzically, knowing he'd seen me in it before and he coughed and gestured toward my head. "Your hair, it's all springy and pretty round your shoulders like that."

"Oh!" I twisted a curl around my finger apprehensively then released it, realizing I probably looked like Near doing such a thing. "Thank you, it sort of just falls this way. It's a bit unmanageable, I'm afraid."

"Oh no, compared to others, you can't say that!" he chuckled again and I instantly knew who he was alluding to. He relaxed, looking around him with ease and I was called back to another bloody memory of that deserter. It seemed like no matter what I did, thoughts of him would not cease. It infuriated me to no end.

In the summer, the kids tended to swim in the pond that ran along the back of the house. An entire day could be spent with five or so laughing children splashing in the water and a good book. Such a lovely warm day had been enjoyed a few months ago when the temperature had climbed.

"It is far too hot out here for my skin." Near pointed out coldly since Mrs. C had demanded he join the others on the fine day by the water.

I glanced up from under my floppy hat. "You're preaching to the choir. That's why you must come out prepared."

He grumbled and went back to the wooden puzzle in his hands. "The woman has no concern for a person's protection against harmful rays of sunlight. It's not as if I plan to swim in the water festering with living organisms."

I laughed at his disgusted look. "Just humor her, all right?"

His dark eyes narrowed. "You should be my ally in this matter, Grace."

"Sorry Near, I like the outdoors." I shrugged, taking off my hat and placing it on his head. "That might help a little."

His returning coldness was shadowed by the wide brim. "I didn't think you had allied with the devil incarnate. My mistake." He pulled himself up from the ground and stalked away from me, leaving the hat on as he sought an escape.

"Hey, there old lady! Hand me my towel, will you?" Mello called evilly to him from the water where he and Matt stood shivering, their hair plastered to their heads. Near paused to observe them, then pulled the hat down tighter and continued on his way.

"Makes me want to hide that boy's towel, being so facetious." I muttered as a shadow fell over me from the east. I looked up and gasped. A pale man stood there, his smooth black hair dripping onto the grass, a soaking black shirt clinging to his chest, a devilish smile playing on his lips. My heart stopped in my chest as I struggled to make sense of the tableau before me.

"B-Beyond?!" I jumped to my feet, backing up a few steps, dropping my book in the process "Wh-what are you doing here? H-how did you get out of prison?!"

I might have deserved the laugh that followed my outburst as very black eyes twinkled at me. "So nice how you're always able to recognize me, G. Your deductive reasoning might need some work."

I picked up my book, trying my best to compose myself as L reached for Mello's towel hanging on a tree branch and dried himself off. "Good lord, you-you gave me a fright. I thought you were-"

"BB, yes I heard you. I think everyone did. I'll have to say, I'm very insulted."

"Well perhaps if you didn't wear white every day of your life I wouldn't have been so unprepared. And your hair that way…you really favored him for a moment." I rolled my eyes as I sat back down, watching him rub the towel in his hair. "And I thought you were supposed to be in Bei—"

"Beijing, yes I know. Well, the answer is that I was, but that case did not prove to be the time-consuming head scratcher it presented itself to be. So, I returned."

He had come back again? "I see. Personally, I don't think my deductive reasoning is that faulty if we also factor in the improbability of you returning twice this summer already rather than remaining in the field as you usually do." He began drying off his slightly muscular arms and I had to look down to hide the blush that was starting to build in my cheeks. "I didn't even see you out there. Do you have a private pool no one knows anything about? Nothing would surprise me of course."

He stopped his torture and smiled. "No, I don't care to swim in the company of others. There's an area across the water that I frequent when I wish to cool off. Very quiet and peaceful."

"Fine, brag all about it." I teased. "So, what are you doing on this side then?"

"Well when I'm not being mistaken for serial killers by my closest friend," he shot back with a wink. "I wanted to see if you'd like to come with me to swim."

I blushed further and looked down at my t-shirt and shorts. "Er, I'm not exactly suited for swimming."

"Like I am?" he held out his hands to show his shirt and waterlogged jeans. "I don't even own a suit."

"Once again I'm not surprised!" I laughed standing up. "All right, I'll come to see this special spot of yours, but don't expect me to go into that water crawling with living organisms."

He smirked as we started on our way. "You're starting to sound like Near."

"It was intended."

"Gracie?! Hey Gracie?"

I shook myself out of that memory to see Caleb smiling at me standing up in the aisle. "We're here. We need to get off now."

I flushed and felt angry at myself for allowing that man to encroach my thoughts yet again. "Oh, right. Certainly."

I made a firm vow with myself to not think of him anymore while I enjoyed the evening with Caleb. Doing so would bring nothing but heartache and annoyance and that wasn't how I wanted to come off to Cay. He certainly deserved a cheerful friend instead of a stroppy bitter girl who couldn't stop thinking of a foolish, hardheaded friend of hers for five minutes.

Caleb handed our tickets to the middle-aged man running the attraction and paused to let me in ahead of him.

"You're in for a real treat, Gracie. You'll be able to see everything!" he assured me as we stood next to each other in the glass car of the London Eye.

"I must say, I'm excited." I smiled as a couple and an elderly man boarded as well.

"Hi, there!" The woman with a puffy, flaming red perm greeted us. Her accent was decidedly American Southern. "This is gonna be something, don't you think?"

"Oh, yes," I answered warmly. "It should be marvelous."

"What?! Dan, this girl talks British! Do you too, Honey?" She turned to Caleb.

Caleb shared a humorous look with me. "Uh, yeah?"

"Great! We'll get to ride the London Eye with some real natives! I'm Polly, this is my hubby, Dan, and this here is Pa, my father-in-law. We've come all the way from El Paso, Texas!"

Dan quietly said hello and went back to fiddling with his camera. Pa gave us a hard look.

"I thought only us were going on this ride, woman." He grumbled.

"Oh, Pa, hush. What are your names?"

"I'm Grace, and this is Caleb." I introduced us, shaking Polly's hand.

"Aw, how sweet! Are y'all here on a date?"

I was about to answer when Caleb confirmed her suspicions. "You could say so."

"Ah, well, we won't interrupt you too much. You hear me, Pa? Don't bother Grace and Caleb too much, now. They're on a date."

"Who?" Pa snapped.

"Grace and Caleb. Right over there, see?"

Caleb gave a little wave.

"Bah!" Pa dismissed us and checked his watch. "When does this dern thing get movin' anyway?"

"Soon, Pa. Look, we've got more passengers getting on first."

My heart dropped down to my socks when I locked eyes with a guilty looking Jude stepping into the pod. Could this really be happening? Were the fates truly having a field day at my expense?

"Sorry," he mouthed, rolling his eyes as L strolled in behind him, looking determined to ruin my day. What was he doing here? Had he really been following me all this time? I had to admit, it made me feel better than thinking he had just abandoned me for the high life, but it infuriated me nonetheless.

"Great, just great." Caleb groaned as Jude stood on the opposite side of me near Pa. L joined him and I turned away.

"Ah! More kiddos!" Polly was delighted. "Now where are y'all from? What are your names?"

"I'm Elliott and this is my brother, Jude." L introduced them, shooting Caleb a menacing glare.

"That kid's got funny lookin' hair." Pa noted loudly to Dan taking in Jude. Then he noticed L. "Jesus! They both do!"

"What exactly are you doing here?" I hissed as L took a chocolate bar out of his pocket and began to open the wrapper.

He turned to me calmly. "Sightseeing. Is there a problem with that?"

"You hate sightseeing. In fact, you hate being in public at all, which makes your casual presence here very suspect."

"There's always a first time!" he shrugged biting into the chocolate. "Playing tourist seems rather diverting."

"Except you've never wanted to do this before."

"Like I said, first time for everything."

"Do y'all know each other?" Polly was intrigued.

"Yeah," Jude sighed. "We're crashing their date."

L gave him a fierce look, and Caleb snapped, "He's not wrong."

"I...like...architecture." L responded succinctly, and Caleb let out a noise of disbelief.

"Bullocks!"

The glares being thrown across the car weren't abating, and I felt terrible for the innocent people caught in the crossfire of our nonsense.

"Well! Here we all are on this great ride!" Nothing could stifle Polly's enthusiasm. "I hope everyone brought their cameras!"

I gave L a look. "Yes, where's yours?"

He blinked. "I did not bring one."

Jude snorted.

"Why wouldn't you bring a camera on a tourist attraction if you aren't here to spy on us?" Caleb challenged.

"I have a photographic memory." L was ready with his answer. "I'm taking pictures as we speak." His dark eyes found me for a prolonged moment. "There's another one."

I crossed my arms, not letting his stare get to me. "Don't you have a hotel to be checking into right about now?"

"No need. The room's already taken care of. Would you like a private tour later?"

I thought Caleb was going to dive for his throat with the way he tensed beside me. "That's no way to talk to Gracie!" he thundered. "Treat her with respect or so help me…"

Jude was watching Caleb intently and spoke to L. "You might want to lay off just a little. He wants to throw you through the glass right now."

I could see that L didn't understand Caleb's anger and raised my voice. "No thanks. After all, it's just countless hotel room after hotel room isn't it?"

L didn't like my retort and went back to his snack. That is until he noticed Pa still staring at him from the bench now licking his lips. "Er, may I be of assistance?" he asked a little wary.

Polly chuckled. "Don't mind him, Hun! Pa here's on a no sugar diet right now. Doctor's orders. Sometimes he just gets to yearning for a taste."

L's face became crestfallen. "No sugar? How dreadful. How incomprehensible. How barbaric."

"You got it, kid!" Pa grumbled giving Polly a dark look.

I watched L look down at his half-eaten Mars bar, then back up at the elderly man. His fingers broke off a hunk of chocolate and he quietly shuffled across to the Americans, handing Pa the piece. "I do not mind sharing." His eyes lowered at Caleb. "Some things."

The sugar deprived man looked up at his savior with shining eyes. "Thank you kindly, young man. You're truly a credit to your country."

Polly sighed as her father-in-law popping the sweets in his mouth. "Now what am I supposed to tell Dr. Allen back home? If he finds out…"

"Uh, he doesn't have to know." Jude suggested as L rejoined him. "Just say that he sneaked it without your knowing about it. He already has that habit, doesn't he?"

Pa may have become friends with L but he certainly didn't like Jude. "How in tarnation did you know that? You readin' my mind or something?" he demanded through his mouth full of chocolate.

I giggled abruptly and covered my mouth. I noticed L smile at me and blushed again turning to see the city present more of itself as we were lifted higher into the air. London was the only city I had ever seen besides Winchester and I found it absolutely breathtaking.

"Oh I say," I whispered taking in the dome of Saint Paul's Cathedral. Knowing I'd promised Anne I'd take pictures, I reached into my purse for Liam's camera. I pressed the power button and waited for it to warm up.

Caleb's arm wrapped over my shoulder and I leaned forward, tiring of the games the boys were both playing. "Lovely, ain't it? Always reminds me of that song from Mary Poppins. You know, the bird song?"

I smiled a little as I focused my picture of the cathedral from our perch. "The one about feeding them?"

"Yeah, how does it go again?"

"FEED THE LITTLE BIRDS, TUPPENCE A BAG, TUPPENCE, TUPPENCE, TUPPENCE A BAG!" A strong boisterous tenor rose up through the car, causing the camera to almost slip out of my hands. Wide eyed we noticed it had come from the unassuming Dan now taking a picture from his side.

Polly's face was bright with pride. "My hubby's got some pipes, doesn't he?"

"You could say that." L was a bit shaken by the noise, though his eyes hadn't left where Caleb's arm rested.

I tried to hide my grin as I looked down at the picture I took. A photographer I was not, but at least the famous church was identifiable. I hit the forward button and saw a picture of the house and Ella singing. My heart filled a little with the thought of the poppet. I made a mental note to find her the prettiest doll in town to add to her tea party guests. Then one of Anne and Liam grinning by the staircase, a half completed white puzzle at their feet. I wondered if they had actually commissioned Near to take it or he had just abandoned his play things as usual. Next was the one I took of them by the topiary bush that night before dinner, then the one of Anne and me with our smiles very different. I only glanced at Fritz and Jinya's antics for a second before reaching the next picture. The one that changed everything.

It was a candid shot taken in the foyer of Carabelli's restaurant. A couple stood together rather close, the girl's hands finishing up tying a tie and the boy gazing down at her so privately, so intimately, it couldn't be ignored that he found something special about her. Her returning look was just as open, as frightened, as utterly lost as his. These two people evidently cared about each other in their own funny way, there was no disguising it.

I looked up wordlessly at that same boy hunched over by the windows, still glaring at Caleb and everything became clear. It wasn't just childish jealousy of me having another friend. It was profound envy that I wanted to be in company of another man. Another man not him.

"Oh my God." The words burst from my mouth as the puzzle was finally solved. Jude took me in confused, but then a broad smile appeared. Oh God, he had just confirmed it.

L's eyes shifted to mine with concern and I felt the rush of realization again. All the nonsense, the silly games, the huffiness at the thought of Caleb or Andrew, the text messages, his secret smiles, the possessiveness, the look in his eyes when his duffle bag hit the floor of the foyer after coming home from a mission. It wasn't just because he was finally home. It was because of who was there.

I gave him a shaky smile back and he smirked. Things were going to be a little different now.

If we ever got off the ride that was.

Original Chapter Song – "Decode" by Paramore

New chap song – Never Wanted Your Love - She & Him