AN: ah, so sad yet happy at the same time.

Chapter 37 –Shahanshah and Shahazada Part II

The night before the wedding Hatima was with Eve in her bedroom deciding on what earrings and jewelry she should wear. Courtesy of Gabrielle, she was able to find a lot of jewelry for Eve to choose from all at Xena's expense of course. Xena had learned to stop caring what Gabrielle spent her money on especially if it was jewelry, though Xena suggested that whatever Eve did not want, would be sent back to the merchant, free of charge. So either way, Xena paid for everything no matter if Eve kept all the jewelry or not.

Hatima was able to coordinate everything with Gabrielle's help. Bringing in all of Samuel's siblings, cousins and close allies for the ceremony tomorrow. Throughout the week there were many caravans brought to the palace and it sparked a lot of interest of the Roman people. There was a new caravan every day and they were foreigners. Dressed in extravagant clothing lined with gold and black. The women wearing fancy veils and large gowns. These people definitely intrigued the Romans and everyone was sure that there was some kind of party or celebration otherwise why would all those people come?

Solan was in charge of showing all of Samuel's friends and relatives their rooms, which there were many. Some of them had children, though most of his relatives did not and one of his brother's had many wives. Solan thought that was rather odd, but he was not one to judge. They had traveled a long way to be here so he was going to make sure that everyone was accommodated well.

Xena sat in her room in a chair close to the window drinking some much needed wine. With all of Samuel's sisters, brothers and wives of the brothers, she was beginning to understand why she didn't befriend the Persians again. They were like rabbits. Samuel had so many family members and not to mention his sisters were rather demanding and bossy. She decided to seclude herself once she saw the people beginning to arrive just a few days ago. She hadn't even come out to greet them all on her own accord.

Gabrielle came into the room and let out a sharp exhale. Xena turned her head and smirked. "Gods, those women!" she rubbed her forehead, "I can't take it, Xena." She walked over and picked up the bottle of wine. "Can I join you?" she smiled.

Xena sipped the wine and pulled out the chair next to her. "Can't take the women can you?" she chuckled.

The blonde poured a glass for herself and slumped in the chair, feeling exhaustion take over her body. She shook her head, "don't get me wrong," she swallowed, "his sisters are very nice and not to mention beautiful," she gasped, "and have you seen their mothers?" she drank some more of the wine downing it immediately.

Xena's eyes widened, "slow down, Gabrielle. It's not water," she placed her hand over hers.

"Phraates must have picked the most beautiful women in Persia to birth his children," Gabrielle joked. Xena raised an eyebrow and Gabrielle cleared her throat. "I'm just saying," she mumbled. "One of his sisters has red hair and blue eyes, but she is extremely bossy, by the gods." She began to mock the young Persian princess, "change the sheets, move the bed, no that's the wrong pillows..." she frowned.

Xena chuckled, "and that is why I am staying in here." She raised her glass, "to solitude," she winked and sipped her wine. Gabrielle smiled and drank from her glass as well.

Solan burst into the room and slammed the door, leaning against breathing heavily. Both women turned to see him looking very exhausted and worn out. Xena sighed, "and now my peace and quiet is over," she sipped the wine slowly as she looked out the window.

"Mother, I can't deal with those women anymore," he came to her. "For the love of Zeus, will you please release me from my duties?" he begged.

Xena smiled, "I'm sure they're just swooning over you," she teased.

He frowned, "they won't leave me alone. They keep asking me to meet their ridiculous demands. One of them tried rearranging furniture!"

Gabrielle nodded, "the red head, right?" she sipped her wine.

"Maya, yes, that one!" Solan groaned, "she's so bossy," he sighed sitting down in the chair in between the two women. "Save me, please." Xena smiled at his demise, sort of enjoying his suffering. "Sabine and Asma are preoccupied with the twins, thank the gods," he blew his hair off his forehead. "They're not so bad."

"When Eve moves to Persia, she will have many babysitters at her disposal," Xena smiled. Though, she wanted Eve to always be with her, she knew that wouldn't be able to happen. She told Eve that she was happy that she would be leaving but in reality, she was a bit sad that she would be leaving her side and not for awhile, but for good. She could no longer keep her locked away inside the palace walls.

Gabrielle sensed some sadness in Xena's eyes. She rested her hand on top of hers and smiled warmly at her. "She won't be that far away."

"Only a sea away," Xena smiled and finished her wine, no longer finding it suitable to her taste anymore. Gabrielle grinned weakly and Solan remained quiet. Xena turned her attention towards her grown son. "This trip you and Allat have planned in Qin and Japa," she grabbed his hand, "be careful."

Solan smiled and pat his mother's hand, "mother I'm not a little boy anymore. I haven't been for a long time. Besides," he lifted his chin proudly, "you taught me everything I know!" and Xena smiled warmly at him. "So don't worry about me," he kissed her hand gently.

"I will always worry about you," Xena said seriously and he nodded understanding her stance on him going to a place far away. When he left for Assyria to be by Allat's side, she said the same thing and that wasn't even that far away either.

He smiled at her and sighed heavily. "So, what are you two ladies going to do in this empty palace when Eve and I leave?" he leaned back in the chair folding his arms with a curious grin.

Gabrielle smiled sneakily, "yeah Xena, what will do?" she eyed the empress and Xena blinked, not really knowing how to answer that. "We should travel Greece!"

Xena raised an eyebrow, "Gabrielle, I've traveled every inch of Greece."

Gabrielle nodded, thinking that was stupid of her to say. Greece belonged to Xena for decades. "We should travel to India, then!" she suggested.

Xena sighed, "I don't know about that."

"Have you ever been there?" Gabrielle leaned in closer.

"Well no –"

"Then we should go!" she exclaimed. Xena was about to detest and Gabrielle put her finger over Xena's mouth. "We're going, don't try and argue with me." Xena slapped away Gabrielle's hand and frowned. "Come on Xena, it'll be a fun adventure. When was the last time you traveled somewhere for fun?"

Xena thought long and hard and actually she never traveled for 'fun' as Gabrielle put it. Her travels were always political and tiresome. "Alright, fine," she grumbled.

Gabrielle smiled with glee and kissed Xena's cheek. The empress sighed and decided the wine was not so bad after all and she poured another glass for herself. Solan laughed lightly, "mother, you really are turning into a grumpy old woman."

Xena shot him a glare, "I am not!"

"You kind of are," Gabrielle playfully added and Xena's jaw dropped.

"You're siding with him?" Xena asked.

Solan got up putting his hands in the air, "hey I'm not involved in this," he smiled and bowed his head, "if you'll excuse me...I'm going to try and find a quiet place to get away from those crazy women." He turned and left the room.

As soon as he left Xena said, "I'm not grumpy," she said stubbornly.

Gabrielle chuckled, "yes you are."

"No, I'm not," Xena tapped her fingers on the table impatiently.

"Yes," Gabrielle teased.

"No!" Xena stared in Gabrielle's green eyes firmly and then a smile appeared on her lips and Gabrielle chuckled softly. "Maybe a little bit..." she admitted playfully.

"A little bit?" the blonde teased further and Xena raised an eyebrow.

"Don't push it," she sipped the dark wine. "Why India?" she was curious.

Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, I've never been there. It would be fun to explore new places and a new culture," she said and Xena remained quiet. "And it would be even better if I got to do it with you," she smiled.

Xena sighed, "I've been so preoccupied with war and politics for many years. I forgot what it was like to have fun. When I was young I traveled to new places –Rome, Athens, Corinth, Anatolia, Africa, Qin, Japa..." She frowned, "but they were not for fun, they were for conquest, though back then, everything was fun and exciting. Over the years, those places became a chore and were no longer exciting."

Gabrielle could understand Xena's feelings. She had traveled to many places and it was not for adventure, though in her young eyes, it was an adventure –an adventure for power and greed. Xena had forgotten how to enjoy simple things and she saw a lot of the years as empress waning on her. Her eyes were tired, she was tired. She had failed, won and conquered, though now everything was different. Xena was done conquering, she was done fighting and the effects of it all were finally coming crashing down on her. She had grown in numerable ways, ways that probably she would not have achieved if Gabrielle hadn't been there. She would probably have spiraled down into her dark path, pushing her down until she was nothing but a war criminal or worse –dead.

"I can teach you how to have fun again," Gabrielle said softly. "We will travel together and you won't be an empress –just Xena."

Xena smiled, "you are truly a wonderful person, Gabrielle." She sighed and grasped her hand, "sometimes I wish that I was not an empress –that I could just leave it all." She was beginning to question all of her life choices. "If I had not become an empress I would have a different life."

"But you wouldn't have everything you have now," Gabrielle said. "I wouldn't be here and probably would still hate you. Just because you think your life would be different as a regular person doesn't mean it would be better..."

Xena nodded, "you're right Gabrielle. I should learn to be grateful for what I have," she smiled warmly. "Thank you for reminding me," she leaned over and kissed her cheek gingerly.

"That's what I'm here for!" Gabrielle blushed slightly and Xena looked at her with warm eyes.

Eve came into the room and the two looked to her. "Mother, should I choose the pearls or gold earrings?" she marched over to her and showed her both choices.

Xena smiled at her daughter, "they're both beautiful."

The princess sighed, "that's not helping," she looked down at the earrings and couldn't decide which ones would look better.

Gabrielle pursed her lips, "the gold ones are nice," she smiled. Xena sipped her wine, not finding this conversation to her liking.

Eve smiled, "you think so?" she felt so indecisive. "The pearls look really nice with the dress, though," she sighed.

"The pearls then," Gabrielle sided with her.

"I don't know..." Eve sighed and Xena sighed along with her.

"Whatever you wear, you will look beautiful, as always," Xena said and Eve raised an eyebrow.

"You have to say that, you're my mother." She looked at the pearl earrings again and Xena smirked, continuing to sip her wine. "I think I'll go with the gold ones." She nodded reassuring herself and Gabrielle nodded, agreeing with her. "What do you think, Gabrielle?" she asked for her opinion.

"They would look good on you!" Gabrielle smiled and Eve grinned widely, finally deciding on wearing the gold earrings. "But your mother is right, you look good in anything," she winked.

Eve sighed and sat down on her mother's bed. "I'm going to miss you both when I leave." She placed her hands in her lap. Gabrielle came to sit beside her and wrap a generous arm around her.

"We'll always be here. You know where to find us," Gabrielle poked Eve's nose and the princess smiled softly.

"You will both come to visit in Persia, won't you?" Eve hoped.

Xena turned to her daughter, "you know we will. We would drop everything to come see you," she winked and Eve smiled, feeling better about this situation despite being so far from her home.

"I'm really nervous for tomorrow," Eve sighed, "Samuel's sisters are so annoying," she frowned. "I tried to talk with them but they just kept asking me questions then began gossiping about their cousins' dresses." She rolled her eyes.

Xena chuckled sipping her wine, "welcome to the princess lifestyle."

Eve shook her head, "I'm not like them. They told me women aren't allowed to fight in war, only men!" she huffed, "imagine that?" she couldn't believe it.

"The Persians are that way, Eve," Xena said. "But Samuel doesn't treat you that way," she added and Eve nodded, agreeing with her.

"Were you ever married, mother?" the princess asked and Xena spit her wine back into her glass, coughing slightly.

Xena wiped the wine off her robe and set the glass down, "it never crossed my mind," she smirked.

"Not even once?" Gabrielle asked curiosity getting the best of her. "Not even with Borias?"

Xena frowned at her consort and saw Eve's eyes light up. She was definitely intrigued. "No, definitely not with him. We didn't have that kind of relationship."

Eve smugly grinned, "oh right, because he already had a wife?"

"It sounds worse when it comes out of your mouth..." Xena mumbled, "but no, we just were never like that."

"You never did finish your story, Xena," Gabrielle egged her on and Xena rolled her eyes. Eve crossed her legs and almost forgot about that night last week.

"Oh yes!" Eve grinned, "please, tell us the rest of the story, mother. It will distract me," she hoped and Xena shook her head. "Please, mother?" she pleaded.

Xena pinched the bridge of her nose, "how did we go from earrings to this?" she turned the chair to face both of them and poured a generous amount of wine in her glass. "I'm going to need more of this." She smirked.

"So does that mean you're going to tell the rest of the story?" Eve asked, hopeful that her mother would do so.

"Yes, but," Xena held up her finger, "no interruptions this time," she looked at both of them and they bobbed their heads. "I hate when you two do that." She sighed and thought where she left off at. She thought she should skip a few details for the sake of her daughter's ears. "So, after I was welcomed into his tribe, I stayed there for a few months gaining his trust..."

Four months had gone by quicker than Xena expected and her men had gotten along well with Borias' men and even the women as well. The more she was in this place, the more she felt she was slowly gaining Borias' trust and then some. She had shown her intrigue in him and even tried to seduce him from time to time behind his wife's back.

Being rather nosy, she heard Borias talking with his men of a neighboring tribe that might invade. Xena had never been for the nomadic lifestyle but she was dying to fight someone and it had been far too long since she had done that. She secretly hoped that the other tribe would attack just so she could fight against them, thus making Borias favor her more.

She walked into Borias' yurt and saw a group of men huddled around in a small circle on the floor sitting on large pillows. All the men turned to see her and ceased talking. She smiled and placed her hands on her hips. "What's going on here?" she asked curiously.

Borias smiled and stood up, "business, Xena," he folded his arms and Xena copied his stature. The men got up and left the yurt immediately, leaving the two alone.

"I heard about the tribe," Xena sneered, "they want to attack you," she walked forward and he watched her carefully.

"You shouldn't listen in on my conversations, Xena," he stood still and she walked over to him, now barely a foot away from him. He stared into her light blue eyes that had a sparkle in them.

She shrugged, "hard not to. I can help you..." she came closer and traced her fingers on his vest and he grabbed her hand and she grinned mischievously at him. "I would be a great asset to you," she whispered.

"You're a dangerous woman, Xena. I've heard things about you," he glared into her devious eyes and she bit her bottom lip.

"Have you?" she hissed, "what did you hear?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I've heard enough," he gently pushed her away and walked over to a table to drink some wine. She frowned, narrowing her eyes. She thought that he would immediately give into her like so many men have done before, but obviously, he was different and harder to seduce. This would be a challenge for her and she accepted it.

She smiled and went over to him, her finger grazing over his bare arm. "I am good fighter. My men would be more than willing to help you if...that tribe does decide to attack."

He turned around looking into her dangerous eyes. "For my sake, I hope they don't," he drank some wine and pushed her aside leaving the yurt. She growled and folded her arms, not succeeding in her plan at all.

She exited the yurt and saw the young boy standing there with a toy in his hands. Xena frowned at the boy and his eyes were wide, continuing to glare at her. She snarled at him and he gasped, running away from her sight and she smirked then went on about her way.

A week passed by and the neighboring tribe sent word that they wanted to make a negotiation with Borias and his tribe. Xena told her men of the plan that she overheard and she told them that negotiations were highly unlikely and that they should attack them even without Borias' consent. She wanted to prove to him that she was not a mere traveler out for blood, but that she was indeed serious and could fight by his side.

The tribe's leader rode in with a lot of his men behind him and Xena stood alongside Borias watching them come closer. She folded her arms and looked to the hilltops and saw her men stationed just where she wanted them. Borias was clueless but Xena was sure that this man wasn't going to abide by any rules unless Borias and his tribe left this area to relocate. This was a perfect spot, Xena could see why anyone would want it but she wasn't doing this to save the tribe, she wanted to show her worth to him despite his unwillingness to shed blood for the sake of a piece of land. It was more than that to her.

Borias walked forward to meet the other leader, Yasr and all his men were behind him on horseback waiting patiently. Xena frowned and looked to her men hiding in the designated spots. She said that if there is any sign of a sword or even attempt at killing Borias, just to attack at will without her signal.

"Thank you for coming to meet with me," Borias said and Yasr nodded.

"I thank you for wanting to talk with me," he smiled tightly and saw Xena standing behind him at a fair distance. She had an eerie smile on her lips and he then focused back on Borias. "I want your land, but it seems you won't give it up."

Borias chuckled, "my people have been here for decades. You can't make us move to another place, Yasr," he frowned staring in the man's brown eyes.

"Not even if I trade a few women for your precious land?" he smiled and Borias shook his head.

"I don't want your women," he said and turned to see Xena standing there. He smiled at her and turned his attention back to him. "What else do you have to negotiate with?" he smirked.

Yasr smiled sneakily, "I have one thing," he unsheathed his sword and Borias' eyes widened, not fully expecting that. Borias too drew his scimitar and then saw a slew of arrows come their way. One struck Yasr in the throat and he choked on his own blood and fell over on his knees. Yasr's riders were immediately shot down and fell off their horses, wailing in agony.

Borias stood there as he watched Yasr die before his eyes and his blade clean of blood. He turned around and saw Xena with her hands on her hips with a big smile.

"I told you I could help you," she called out and watched his face turn from shock to satisfaction in an instance. I have you now.

Later that evening Xena came into Borias' yurt and saw he was drawing a map of some sort. He glanced up as soon as he saw her and smiled. "How did you know he was going to kill me?" he asked.

Xena came around and sat beside him, "I'm good at what I do," her hand slithered close to him and came to his thigh. "So..." she whispered, "will you let me help you now?" she leaned in closer and he stared into her eyes and then glanced down at her inviting lips. He leaned down and kissed her gently. When he pulled away she let a small smile escape her lips and he grinned back at her.

Natassa came into the yurt with a basket of woven clothes and saw Xena sitting next to Borias and she was close, too close. Borias stood up immediately getting away from Xena. Natassa frowned and Xena stood up as well, fixing her hair and headpiece. He came to his wife and took the basket from her and set it down on the floor next to the table. Xena made her way towards the exit and her eyes followed Natassa's.

She frowned at her and Xena smiled, then left the yurt. She came over to Borias and grabbed his arm, "what was she doing in here?"

"I was talking with her," he said lamely.

Natassa scoffed and folded her arms, "didn't look like it to me," she frowned.

Borias sighed and lifted her chin up towards him, "Natassa, you know I only have eyes for you and our son. Xena is just going to help me with future battle plans. That's all."

She grimaced, "she is a whore, Borias," she slapped his hand away from her face. "I've seen women like her. She will use you!" she left the yurt in a foul mood and he groaned. He then picked up a bottle and threw it across the yurt and it shattered all over the floor.

Natassa saw Xena sitting with a few of her men smiling and laughing with them. She walked over to their get-together and all the men stopped talking. Xena turned her head and lifted her eyes to see a very angry woman staring at her. "You stay away from him," she demanded.

Xena smiled, "or what?" she challenged her and Natassa knocked the cup of wine out of Xena's hand. All the men then blinked as their eyes widened. Xena stood up face to face with the woman.

"Stay away, Xena," Natassa hissed then walked away. Xena folded her arms and huffed. She glanced down and saw all the men staring up at her.

"What are you looking at?!" she yelled and kicked their bottle of wine over and left the area in a tantrum.

Gabrielle and Eve listened intently as Xena finished her small story. Eve frowned and waited for her mother to continue, "that's it?" she blinked.

Xena smiled, "I told you what happened, didn't I?" she sipped her wine.

Gabrielle smirked, "we all know there's more to that story, Xena." She folded her arms, "so Natassa told you to stay away from Borias but you obviously didn't."

"You have Solan to prove it," Eve chuckled lightly. Xena rolled her eyes and downed the rest of her wine. "So how long did you stay there? I don't think you would have stayed there very long considering his wife..."

Xena smiled sadly, "I convinced Borias to leave his wife for me after a few more months. I was there for a year before I finally convinced him. The day after my nineteenth birthday Borias and I left the tribe and brought many of the men with us to begin a new life."

Gabrielle laid down on her stomach resting her chin on her hands, "did you feel bad that you took Borias away from his son?

Xena scoffed, "of course not," she grinned lightly. "I did not care about anybody but myself at that time, Gabrielle. I wouldn't dream of doing something like that now."

Gabrielle nodded thinking that was rather silly of her to ask. She kept forgetting that this was a different Xena in this story. It was not the Xena she knew and grew to love. This Xena was young, vicious and ambitious as well as evil and even cruel at times. "You mentioned that you and Borias traveled to Qin and Japa."

Eve's eyes lit up, "isn't that where Solan and Allat are going?" Xena nodded. "What did you do there?"

Xena sighed heavily, "what didn't I do there?" she smirked. "Very bad things, Eve. Borias wanted to ally with the Kingdom of Lao but I ruined it. Later when I became empress I decided to make a treaty with Lao that I would never return there, which I kept my promise."

Eve frowned, "but you sent me to Qin before. Isn't that breaking your treaty?"

The empress quirked her mouth, "no because I did not set foot in Qin myself. They know what I look like in Qin and I am still not well liked there," she sighed sadly.

Gabrielle leaned on her elbows, "would you ever want to change that? I'm sure the leader of Lao will see that you have changed."

"Unfortunately, she's dead now," Xena tapped her fingers on her knee. "I'm sure if I kept in contact with her...things would be different and we would be the best of friends, but now that her son is the ruler of Lao, that is not likely to happen."

Eve nodded, "the people in Qin aren't very welcoming to Greek travelers. I saw it firsthand..." she leaned against Gabrielle, "what did you do in Qin that was so awful?"

Xena shook her head, "Borias wanted to make peace with Lao Ma but I wouldn't allow it to happen. I told him that I agreed to help him ally with her in exchange to take over her entire army to make peace with the south." She smiled weakly and continued, "I lied to them both. I did take her army in my control but instead of negotiating peace with the south kingdom, I obliterated them all. I killed them all."

Gabrielle's eyes widened and saw sadness in Xena's eyes. It was obvious that she had changed so much and she was so ashamed of what she did so long ago. "And Borias I'm sure wasn't very happy about that."

She nodded, "he was angry with me, but I think he was more angry that I lied instead of killing all those people. It was then when I thought he was going to leave me, but he didn't." she frowned, "he should've left me right then and there, but instead he chose to leave Qin and we were both banished. We sailed to Japa long after that. We stayed in Japa for a year before we returned to Greece. On the way back, I didn't know it then but I was pregnant with Solan. It was an awful journey," she smiled softly.

Eve and Gabrielle smiled warmly at her and Gabrielle leaned forward, "how long did it take you to return to Greece?"

Xena thought for awhile, "we were sailing for a month or two by the time we reached Greece. I had a feeling something was wrong with me but I chose to ignore it until I couldn't anymore." She then began chuckling lowly to herself. "Remember Eve, when you said you thought you were dying when you found out you were pregnant?"

Eve nodded and exhaled deeply, "I was serious about it too!"

Xena's laugh died down, "I had the same reaction. On the way back from Japa I thought I was dying," her smile lingered.

After staying in Japa for a year Borias suggested they leave before the emperor decided to come after them too. Their names were already known in Qin and the emperor knew of their schemes. After they didn't find anything worthy in Japa they left in the middle of the night on ship docked in one of the ports. These ships were far different than the Grecian ships, they had rooms below the deck and it was a lot longer than the Greek ships too.

Borias almost preferred them over the Greek ships, but his favorite was definitely the ships of Egypt. Xena brushed her hair away from her face and looked out at the dark sea in front of her. She had been on many ships before and every single journey felt the same though this time, it was different. She felt her stomach churning and she placed her hand over stomach, crinkling her nose.

Borias found her by herself and smiled waltzing over to her. He wrapped his arm around her body from behind and kissed her cheek softly. "Have you had enough of your adventures?" he asked and moved her hair away from her face.

Xena frowned and grabbed hold of his hand and spun around to face him with a weary smile. "These people don't appreciate us," she touched his long hair smiling deviously. He touched her face gently and she felt a wave of nausea overcome her. She frowned lowered her gaze and cringed slightly.

"I'm sure you will be happy to be back in Greece," he smiled and noticed her sudden silence. "What's the matter? Speechless?" he chuckled and she shook her head slowly and he lifted her chin. He saw her cheeks were pale and her eyes wide. He frowned, "what's wrong with you?"

She shook her head and turned around, leaning over the railing and began coughing violently. She vomited in the sea and breathed heavily. Borias looked over and crinkled his nose in disgust. "Ah, Xena..." he sighed heavily. He rest his hand on her back and she stood up straight then frowned at him, slapping his hand away from her.

"Don't touch me," she wiped her lips with her fingers and stormed off going below the deck.

He scoffed, "you're impossible!" he called out to her and she waved her hand dismissing him before disappearing. He groaned folding his arms and decided to keep his distance from her.

A month later they had stopped in Arabia to gather supplies before making their trek around Africa and then finally to Greece. It felt like so long and normally Xena enjoyed traveling but this was not what she expected. As the ship docked she decided to stay in the room below the deck, laying in bed.

She toyed with the sheets in her hands as she felt the hot sun beaming on her back from the small window in the ship. She sighed and curled her legs close to her body, not feeling herself at all. In her mind, she had a notion what was happening as she had felt it before and instantly she denied it. she didn't want to go through that again, but perhaps it would be different now, she told herself. Borias was here and he obviously wasn't going anywhere and neither was she. Petracles did not care for her and she was more experienced now. After all, if she was carrying a child like she thought, then if Borias reacted the same way Petracles did, she could just leave and be fine on her own without his help. Though, she didn't want to leave, she liked being around him and a small smile came to her lips.

Borias came into the room and her smile disappeared. He frowned and set down a bag of supplies onto the floor. "Still in bed, huh?" he smirked and laid down beside her, wrapping his arm around her. He ran his fingers through her hair and she ignored him. "You should really see a doctor or something," he suggested and kissed her bare shoulder.

She frowned, "I'm fine."

He laughed aloud, "you keep telling yourself that, Xena."

"It'll pass," she shrugged off his arm and he sighed, leaning against a few pillows staring up at the ceiling.

"How do you know?" he asked curiously and raised his eyebrow.

Xena stayed quiet for awhile not sure how to answer that. Because I've been through this before. "I just know," she smirked and turned over on her stomach staring into his eyes. She figured that if she kept ignoring him and distancing herself from him that he would indeed leave and she didn't want that to happen again. She kissed his hand and he smiled at her.

Xena sighed and thought that was enough of story time and she was actually feeling tired. She didn't know what time it was, but she figured it was definitely bed time. "Well, that's enough for now. You should get some sleep, Eve," she stood up and grabbed hold of her daughter's hand.

Eve sighed, "I guess I should," she stood up with her mother's help. "You say you're not good at telling stories, but you are," she winked. Xena shook her head. "I'm going to check on Luca and Layla before I go to sleep," she kissed her mother's cheek and Gabrielle hopped off the bed.

"I want to come!" she pleaded and Eve chuckled, grabbing her hand and both of them left the room. Xena sighed and sat down on her bed, disrobing and ran her fingers through her hair. This entire week had been very draining and the more stories she told of her past, the more she began to relive them and that was taking a toll on her mind more than she thought. She rarely ever spoke of her past and she never realized how taxing it could be on the body and mind until now. She suddenly felt old. Lying down on the bed, she stared up at the ceiling deep in her own thoughts. One day, she thought, she would be able tell all of those people close to her that she hurt the most.

Closing her eyes she sighed heavily and heard voices from down the hall and it was probably Samuel's loud sisters. She heard that at least every night. She thought that these Persian women never slept, but luckily this was only temporary. She tried to make her mind rest but her eyebrows creased together as her mind kept ticking and turning, remembering things that she thought she had forgotten.

As she lay in bed not able to find sleep she felt a hand touch her leg and her eyes opened immediately. She lifted herself up and expected Gabrielle to be there but she was not there. Her mouth gaped and she saw Borias sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Borias?" she questioned and touched his hand, making sure she wasn't losing her mind.

"Xena," he smirked and kissed her hand gently. She felt her entire body tense up as soon as she saw him. "You look scared," he chuckled, "you're never scared!"

Xena smiled softly, "I'm...not scared," she leaned forward and touched his arm, examining his entire body carefully. He smirked at her disbelief as she kept touching his arms and then her hand roamed to his pantleg and her smile widened. "What are you doing here?" she questioned, a bit confused by his presence.

He shrugged, "someone told me that you wanted to see me," he winked.

She lowered her eyes and chuckled under her breath. As she sat in silence she lifted her head to stare into his dark eyes, "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry for everything that I did to you," she said firmly and was sincere. He looked into her eyes, the same eyes that bewitched him so long ago when she was still a teenager, barely a woman at the time, but now, she was all woman and a very smart one at that. "Will you...forgive me?" she said in a soft tone, almost unable to allow the words to escape from her lips. She never asked for forgiveness.

He touched her cheek and though now she was older, older than he was when he died, she still looked the same in his eyes, perhaps better even. He smiled, "I forgave you a long time ago, Xena."

She felt much lighter now all of a sudden, "really?" she felt like he was lying. "Don't play games with me," she said with a smirk and he chuckled at her teasing.

"You'll never change," he shook his head, "the stubborn woman I always knew." She saw her cheeks redden. "Will you forgive yourself?" he asked with a raised brow.

Xena sighed and was unable to answer that truthfully. She still couldn't still after all these years. Even after he said that he forgave her, she wouldn't be able to. She couldn't bring herself to it.

"you're impossible!" he grinned and Xena chuckled at that phrase. He always said that about her when she was younger and it still had the same ring to it as it did all those years ago. "You've done a good job with Solan," he changed the subject.

Xena nodded, "he's a good person. I'm just sorry I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most."

Borias sighed, "Xena, you were different then and I barely recognize you now," he winked and she smirked at his playfulness. "You are a good mother, Xena," he held onto her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"you think so?" she playfully asked.

"I've seen it for myself!" he smiled. "I watch you more than you think," he whispered leaning in close to her. She suddenly felt awkward and her cheeks reddened once more. "Let go of your past, Xena."

She shook her head, "but I can't." she felt hopeless.

He smiled, "I think you can, but you won't," he kissed her forehead and she smiled softly. She reached for his hand and he disappeared right before her eyes. She blinked, looking around and wondered if she had been dreaming. She stayed sitting up in bed and stared off into space deep into her thoughts.

Gabrielle came back into the room and saw Xena staring at the wall. "The twins are finally asleep. Eve and I had to push Sabine and Asma out of the room," she chuckled and got onto the bed and saw Xena was not listening to her. "Xena?"

Xena finally snapped out of her daze and stared at her blonde consort beside her.

"Are you okay?" she touched her arm.

Xena smiled nodding her head. "Yes, I feel a lot better now," she laid down on her side and Gabrielle raised an eyebrow.

"You were feeling...worse...earlier?" she asked still confused.

Xena stayed smiling, "not anymore," she blew the candles out with a cloth fan and closed her eyes. "Goodnight," she said and Gabrielle laid down on the pillows still a bit miffed. "I love you, Gabrielle," she whispered.

Gabrielle smiled, "love you too, Xena," she rolled over on her side and brought the blankets over her body. Such odd behavior from Xena sometimes, she thought, but she knew it was best not to question it.

The following day Xena was able to get dressed very quickly early in the morning with Gabrielle by her side of course. As soon as she woke up she immediately started picking out a dress to wear. She hadn't heard any noise from the guests in the neighboring wings, but she figured that they wouldn't be awake until much later in the morning. Hatima suggested that the ceremony should begin in the early afternoon and now Xena understood why. The Persians liked to stay up late and party then wake up late the next day as well.

Xena chose to wear her favorite blue dress that Gabrielle always loved her in. She had it for so many years and figured nobody would wear blue today especially by the looks of Samuel's and Hatima's clothing. Everything was always gold, black, white or beige. It wasn't very common to see a lot of color like red or blue. Occasionally, there was some green but perhaps that was Hatima's style only.

She walked out of her room and entered Eve's room. Hatima was helping her with the gown and she was tying the laces in the back. Eve put on her earrings and smiled as she saw her mother and Gabrielle enter. "Mother!" she grinned and stood up. Her hair was up in a bun with a few curled tendrils hanging around her slender face.

Hatima took a step back and looked to Xena, "what do you think?" she asked the empress.

Eve smoothed out the dress and looked for her mother's approval, "yes mother, what do you think?" she asked, hoping she'd say something but she was silent.

The longer Xena stared at Eve the more she couldn't say anything. Of course, she looked beautiful and no sane person would ever deny that. It didn't matter what she wore though, Xena always thought she looked gorgeous much like Gabrielle thought of Xena.

Twelve Years Ago

It was Eve's eleventh birthday and she decided that she wanted to pick out a special dress. After being uprooted from her home in Athens, she had spent her time in Egypt with her mother and Gabrielle in the meantime. She had taken awhile to get used to the hot weather and new customs. She began to like it but constantly asked her mother when they would be traveling back to Greece and each time she was left dry. Her mother was silent, but today, that would be different.

Xena promised Eve that she would take her to the beaches in Alexandria, which was a few hours away from the palace in Cairo. They arrived yesterday and Eve was dying to go see the beaches. She had missed them a lot since she moved away from Athens. She was so close to the water in Athens and even though her mother forbid her to go outside the walls, sometimes she was lenient and allowed Gabrielle to take her to the beaches in Athens if she behaved well.

Eve picked out a white dress with gold trim in Alexandria with Gabrielle and was very anxious to show her mother. Xena had yet to see it and she slipped it on. She brushed her hair in front of the mirror and tied the sash around her small waist.

Xena came into her daughter's room and saw her wearing a very gorgeous gown with a gold sash around her waist. Eve gasped, "mother! It was supposed to be a surprise!" she pouted. She really wanted to make a grand entrance.

"Well, I'm surprised," Xena smiled and Gabrielle came in after her. She gasped loudly and the empress folded her arms looking at Gabrielle's face. It was hilarious.

Eve twirled around and grinned at her mother, "what do you think, mother?"

Xena stared at her daughter and thought what any mother would say, "you look beautiful," she smiled and Eve sighed heavily.

"you always say that," the pre-teen huffed then came to her mother and hugged her, barely reaching her waist level. She glanced up at her with a large smile and twinkling blue eyes.

Xena continued to stare at her daughter and saw the anticipation in her eyes. She grinned, "you look beautiful."

Eve smirked, "you always say that," she came to her mother and hugged her tightly. Xena held her breath and hugged her back as tightly as she could. Eve felt her mother squeezing her body very tightly and she couldn't breathe well. "Mother..." she pat her shoulder. "I can't breathe..." she croaked.

Xena pulled away, "sorry," she lowered her eyes and took one last look at her. "Are you ready?" she grabbed her hands firmly with a big smile. Eve nodded nervously. Hatima smiled and grabbed her veil and attached it to her crown following everyone as they left the room.

Early afternoon everyone was already gathered in the room and Samuel was talking with a few of his cousins waiting for everyone to trickle in. Xena walked through the entrance with Hatima and Gabrielle. Everyone turned around and ceased talking. Xena smiled at everyone and it was the first time she laid eyes on all these guests in her home since they arrived. Together, Xena and Gabrielle with Hatima trailing behind, walked down the aisle and everyone bowed their heads.

"It's like they've seen a queen or something," Xena whispered to Gabrielle in a teasing manner.

Gabrielle nudged her, "you're Eve's mother...they have been waiting to see you," she whispered.

They walked to the first row where three seats were available for them. Solan was waiting for them already seated and ready to go. He stood up as soon as he saw them walk in. "Finally!" he said and held Luca in his arms. Xena smiled and stretched her arms out taking the child in her arms. Luca was still sleepy and he looked up into Xena's eyes and grinned a toothless smile. Xena smiled down at him and sat down.

Sabine came up to them with Layla in her arms, Gabrielle took the child from her. The Persian woman smiled warmly at the baby, "she's so adorable!" she could barely contain herself. "I will definitely make an effort to visit them when I'm near the palace in Persia," she said and Gabrielle nodded. Sabine noticed Xena and bowed her head. "Empress," she smiled.

Xena weakly smiled, now feeling awkward at how everyone was treating her, though it couldn't be stopped. "Thank you for watching them."

"Of course!" Sabine smiled and excused herself to go sit with the rest of her sisters on the opposite side of the room.

Gabrielle leaned in close to Xena, "you seem more relaxed than you were yesterday," she whispered.

Xena smiled down at Luca in her arms, "I made peace with something that was bothering me," she said and Gabrielle wasn't sure what she meant by that but as long as it made Xena happy, she didn't question it, for now.

Awhile later Eve finally came in and Solan was waiting for her. He promised that he'd walk with her. Everyone stood up and now she felt incredibly nervous as everyone's eyes were on her. He offered her his arm and she took it gingerly. "You clean up nicely," he joked.

"Solan..." Eve chided and he chuckled softly.

"A small joke," he said and they walked together down the aisle, which seemed like forever. "You look beautiful, as always," he whispered and Eve blushed, smiling softly.

Samuel had a big grin on his face as he awaited for Eve to come greet her. Solan stopped and he kissed his sister's cheek. "Well I'm afraid this is when I leave," he teased and winked at her then went to stand by his mother and Gabrielle.

Eve walked forward and grabbed Samuel's hand, staring in his green eyes. They looked extremely eager. He kissed her hand and she took a step forward with him. This was definitely a fusion of cultures and Eve did not expect to know anything about a Persian wedding, so she went along with it. The man standing before them spoke in Persian and Eve could understand him well. Samuel smiled at her and she averted her eyes, hiding a smile.

The man wrapped a golden shroud around Samuel and Eve's shoulders and said an incantation softly. Eve looked up at the man and he kept speaking quietly in front of them. He took the shroud off and grabbed a bowl of milk and put it front of Eve. She looked confused and Samuel chuckled. "Dip your hands in it," he whispered and she nodded, feeling silly. She dipped her hands in the milk and then Samuel did the same.

He instructed both of them to stand and they did so. He wrapped a scarf around Eve and handed the end of it to Samuel. Eve turned her head to look back at her mother and Gabrielle. Both of them holding her children and Xena smiled at her warmly, mentally telling her not to fear. Eve grinned and the man told them to walk around the bed of flowers together, three times in unison.

She kept her eye on Samuel the entire time and he smiled at her, almost forgetting anyone was watching around them both.

As soon as they finished walking around three times Samuel held Eve's hands and the scarf was taken from them. She stared in his eyes and felt her heart stop at his touch. He leaned down and kissed her lips gingerly. All the women in the room stood up and began ululating loudly.

Xena's and Gabrielle's eyes widened at the sound the women were making. Gabrielle leaned in towards her, "well I wasn't expecting that..."

Xena looked around and nodded, "Persians," she said flatly.

Eve pulled away and then realized all the sound Samuel's female cousins and sisters were making. Her eyes widened and Samuel laughed at her reaction. "Now you are a Persian Princess," he squeezed her hand. Eve smiled and then both walked down the dais and she came to her mother to see her children.

Xena stood up and handed Luca to her. Eve held Luca in her arms and he smiled up at her. She then looked to her mother with teary eyes. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered. Xena touched her cheek softly and kissed her forehead.

"I'll always be here," she winked and Eve smiled and Xena wiped her tears away from her eyes.

Samuel took Layla from Gabrielle, "I'll be taking this," he joked and Gabrielle hated to give her away. She liked holding either one of the babies and was always sad when they had to be put down for a nap or taken away for a small time. Samuel and Eve left the room and of course all the relatives followed them. Xena and Gabrielle stayed behind and Xena looked on as her daughter left. Even though she was still here, she already felt her absence.

Solan placed a hand on his mother's shoulder, "she'll be fine without you," he said comforting her.

Xena pat his hand, "I know," she said and thanked her son's reassurance. He nodded and ran after his sister and Samuel.

Gabrielle grabbed Xena's hand squeezing it tightly, "she will always need you, you know," she smiled and Xena sighed heavily.

The empress turned to Gabrielle, "I will miss her," she buried her face in her hands and Gabrielle embraced her tightly as they stood in the room alone, together.