Chapter 36: In the Middle of the Night
"And that's the last one," Leo announces. I prop myself up on my elbows, stretched out on my stomach on top of the picnic table, and look around. Sure enough, by this late hour, the last of the Gladers have retired to bed, since work begins in the morning like any other day.
"You should go to bed too," Newt says to me. It's just me, him and Leo now. "You have to run in the morning."
"Sleeping's optional," I tell him, sitting up and sliding to the edge of the table so that I can sit almost beside him, my feet resting on the bench he's sitting on.
"You don't sleep?" he looks at me.
I shake my head, my wild, tangled blonde hair flying, "Sleeping's optional. We can go without it for an endless amount of time."
"I've seen you sleep before though. Or were you faking?"
"I fake sometimes," I shrug. "When there's nothing else to do."
"What about him?" he nods towards Leo.
"I'm little more than a human, I require sleep. Though not nearly as much as most do, but I wager that's more my own doing than my…strange origins."
"Your own doing is your strange origin," I point out.
"There is that," he nods, agreeing.
"What are you?" Newt asks, looking at me again. I can feel Leo looking at me too, waiting to see how I'll answer, if I'll answer.
"I don't think you'd believe me if I told you," I finally say, quietly, shaking my head with a short, quiet, almost bitter laugh.
"Try me," Newt says, all serious.
"Am I even allowed to do this?" I ask, looking at Leo. He lets out a bark of laughter and I sigh, "Right. You don't care if it's allowed."
"If what's allowed?" Newt asks.
"There are rules," I say, looking down. "Theoretically, we're not supposed to tell anyone about…what we are, or where we come from."
"But at this very moment, four Moonshines, a Lovelace, Cricket and Alice are invading other stories and most likely breaking more rules than even I can count," Leo comments. He doesn't even look like he's paying attention to us, gazing absently into the fire.
"Who are they?" Newt asks.
"Other souls who've made their lives in someone else's book."
Newt looks to me for the answer to the riddle, but I just shrug. There is no simple explanation to anything that comes out of Leo's head. I hesitate, dropping my feet off the bench to let them hang under the table. "I'm…a wood nymph," I finally tell Newt.
"A wood nymph?" he doesn't look like he knows whether or not to believe me. "Like from the fairy tales?"
"Yeah," I nod, not looking at him. "That's what we are. Fairy tales."
A moment of silence passes before Newt asks Leo, "What about you?"
"I am no more than a human granted immortality," Leo informs him.
Newt doesn't say anything, so neither do I, too afraid that that was it. He's finally heard enough. He doesn't believe me, thinks this, of all things, is the part of me I'm lying about and he's had enough, he won't want me around anymore.
"Hopper, love, stop," Newt says suddenly, breaking through my thought process. I look up, surprised, eyes wide.
"What?" I ask.
"I can hear you worrying from here," he says, looking at me. Leo laughs, but I don't stay anything, too afraid to still.
Newt adjusts himself on the bench, turning so that he's actually sitting at the table properly, with his legs under the top of it, and he scoots himself so that he's sitting in front of me, my knees almost against his chest. He slides his hands around my waist, interlocking his fingers at the small of my back, moving slowly and watching me carefully the whole time, while I'm watching his arms, his hands. He's caged me in, and despite it just being Newt, despite knowing how easily I could escape, it still causes my heart to race and my chest to start hurting, just slightly.
"Eyes, my friend," I can hear Leo say quietly from over by the fire, too low for Newt to maybe even know he's saying anything at all. "Intent is in the eyes."
So I look at Newt's eyes. He's watching me carefully, waiting to see what I'm going to do. He knows I don't like being caged. He saw how fast I bolted out of the Slammer when I was put in there after the first time I snuck into the Maze. I gave him a bloody nose, I rushed out of there so fast. Then when he'd chased after me and I thought he was going to cage me again, I attacked him. And I have no doubt either Ben or Leo, or possibly both, told him all the details of how I acted in the Slammer while he was in the Maze.
So now Newt watches me carefully, waiting to see how I'm going to react. I decide then that I'm not going to run away, or attack. Even though I'm not entirely sure whether or not I can control whether or not I attack. I've never had the need to find out if I can control the animal side of me. It seems like I'm testing it now, though, because the more my heart pounds, the more everything in me wants to attack. Or, at the very least, flee.
After a length of time, Newt pulls his hands back towards him, releasing me, and settles for resting his hands on the backs of my legs. "I don't care what you are, love. I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, or a human or a…nymph, or a…fire breathing dragon." I can't help but almost laugh at that, and he almost smiles. "As long as you don't eat me or Alby, I don't care. I just want to know about you, love. The truth. All of it. No matter how weird it is."
I don't say anything right away, not knowing what to say. Of course, the first thing that finally does come to mind is, "Would I be allowed to eat Gally if I was a dragon?"
Leo lets out a bark of laughter from over by the fire. Newt almost smiles again, just one side of his mouth tipping up a little bit, "If you were a dragon, I think everyone would rather you eat the Grievers first."
I make a face, "Grievers probably taste so gross!"
"Probably," Newt agrees with a nod. Then he just rests his head in my lap, closing his eyes.
"You actually sleep," I point out. "You should probably go to bed."
"In a minute," he says quietly. But it doesn't even take that long for Newt to fall asleep right there, sitting at the picnic table, his head in my lap.
"How hard do you think he sleeps?" Leo asks quietly as he comes over, peering curiously at Newt's sleeping face.
"I don't know," I shrug. "Why?"
Leo nods thoughtfully, "Then we'll talk tomorrow. I've seen this before. Either he pretends to be asleep to listen in or he unconsciously hears us and thinks it's a dream but still remembers it the next morning and gets curious."
I frown at Leo, confused and suspicious. "What are you planning on talking to me about?" I wonder.
Leo just grins, sliding up to sit on the table, beside and behind me, his feet resting on the other bench of the table. "Are you really going to run the Maze tomorrow?"
I nod, "Of course. They're a Runner down."
Leo nods, and as the silence stretches, I play with the ends of Newt's hair. After a while, Leo says, "I don't think it would be a hindrance to anyone if you waited a day or two before starting."
"Leo, just say what you're thinking," I sigh.
Leo glances at Newt before turning to stare straight ahead again, "He's terrified of losing you again."
"I know," I look down.
"Every time you go into the Maze it scares him. And it's going to be even worse now that you've disappeared for more than a week."
"I know," I sigh. But I've already given my word that I would be a Runner, and that tomorrow I'll run the Maze. We can't break promises, it's fatal. I'll just have to hurry back. Get back to the Glade as soon as I can.