Chapter Thirty-Six: The Last Laugh Part One.
"Each and every one of us in this city will need to do our part to help bring civilized order back to Metropolis. As Mayor, I've seen many challenges. The biggest one is the fall of a great man, and the unsettling rise of vigilantes who think they're above the law. One of the worst having been Supergirl, who terrorized law abiding citizens with her actions! Do you think because she has the powers to stop people in their tracks, she should get a license to terrorize anyone and everyone she wants? No, she shouldn't, and she won't! I'm going to put my foot down and forbid it! Metropolis will not be a quagmire for delinquency. Elect me as your mayor, show them you won't be bullied by the super powered. What happened to Leslie Willis and Lex Luthor and many others could happen to you!"
Lois's astonishment reached an interesting level. The Mayor said all of the words in one breath. He paced back and forth across the stage. His bodyguards stood, arms crossed on either side.
'The hospital just let me out after a concussion,' Lois thought. 'And now after the Mayor's speech, why do I have a feeling I'm going to be put back in the hospital when I give myself another one.'
Lois didn't really know what to think. She noticed something wet dripping on her shoulder. Lois turned her head. Cat drooped over her shoulder, having fallen asleep during the Mayor's diatribe. The younger reporter started to drool on her shoulder.
"Hey, kid, look alive."
Lois pinched Cat, and forced her to wake up. Cat almost fell over in a comical manner. Lois threw her arm out and caught Cat before she slammed onto the ground.
"Sorry, I must have drifted off," Cat said.
"I understand, I swear, he can be the cure for insomnia," Lois said.
Under normal circumstance, Lois would grill the Mayor. Well if she was allowed to, but even if she wasn't. The bodyguards formed a tight ring around the Mayor, preventing him from breaking out.
"Sorry, no questions."
Lois didn't feel the need to press the Mayor too hard. The man's head wedged firmly in his ass, a quality which would not improve as election day lingered closer. The reporter dug her nails into the side of her face.
'So, it's going to be one of those days, isn't it?'
Lois didn't answer her own question. The thoughts going in her mind swam. An attack, she suspected an attack. Chloe mentioned something about Kara and the others having to catch a plane going into Metropolis later tonight.
The Joker really did like making them wait on pins and needles.
Cat winced, and Lois locked her eyes towards the younger reporter.
"I think he's about to give a speech again."
Lois echoed Cat's groans and did the only thing she could think to do. She wrapped her arm around Cat's neck and patted her on the back of her head.
The raven-haired reporter noticed something worst. The Mayor erected a large Jumbo Tron which broadcasted his face. In theory, one could argue it made the Mayor look important. In practice, Lois thought it only called attention to the giant mole on his cheek.
"Ladies and gentlemen, remember tonight, we're here for one reason, and the people of Metropolis….."
"Are bored to death, and would like to hear something more exciting!"
The Mayor's face distorted. The Joker's face remained the Mayor. Almost as if the Mayor turned into the Joker from the perspective of the Jumbotron.
"Sorry to interrupt what I'm sure is a fairly arousing speech, but we have some real talk tonight. And the real talk is, while I've had some laughs, I'm afraid I'm on my last legs."
The Joker's normally jovial expression grew rather remorse.
"Six months ago, I visited a doctor. He gave me six months to live. I gave him six seconds. Turns out both of us were right."
The Joker hacked for a couple of seconds instead of laughing. Traces of green vomit splattered onto his chin. He wiped it up.
"All seriousness folks, all of the toxins, all of the boozes, all the cigars, all of the years fighting the Bat, they all caught up with me. On the way out, I figured I've made one last mark in the world. And what better than to make a mark of the city which prides itself as a bright and sunnier place than Gotham City ever was."
The Clown Prince of Crime snapped his fingers. The balloons out on the streets of Metropolis for the Mayor's celebration popped and released gas into the city. The Joker's laughter echoed.
Lois grabbed Cat by the wrist, and pulled her behind the truck. She rummaged through her bag, pulling out a facemask.
Everyone screamed in madness. The bodyguards half dragged the Mayor out of there, but the crazed people near them scrambled onto the stage. Their arms swung around. The civilians clobbered the security guards, forcing them down to their knees.
The Mayor staggered down the steps, and turned on his heel. The door to his limo opened. The crazed citizens dove at him, nipping at his ankles.
The Metropolis Mayor slammed the door and locked it behind him, breathing in and out.
"Drive, drive!"
Harley Quinn turned around to look at the Mayor in the back seat. A grin crossed her face.
"Hang on, Mister Mayor, it's going to be a long ride. Your last ride!"
She cackled. The Mayor screamed like a little girl.
Kara placed her hands on her hips, standing beside Diana and Donna. The trio watched, with Chloe on the radio with them.
"Well, so much for the plane coming here," Kara said. I knew it….the Joker outsmarted us!"
Kara looked up for a second, and walked to a warehouse behind them.
"Maybe there isn't a plane, but we're closer to something than you think," Chloe said. "The Joker's men have something in the warehouse behind the airport. Yeah, I'm batting a very low average tonight, but, you've got to give it a shot."
Kara noticed one of the guards inside fall down to the ground. The guard practically fell at her feet. She peered inside the window.
Claire already stood inside. She attached explosive devices on the crates one at a time. She tensed up when Kara walked over and turned to look over her shoulder.
"Kara, you better get out of here," Claire said. "I'm going to blow up whatever are in these crates sky high….I don't care what happens, he's not gaining control of the city."
Kara didn't budge for a second.
"You don't know what's in the crates."
"I know enough about what's in the crates to know the Joker shouldn't be allowed to have them," Claire said. "You, Diana, and Donna all need to leave….and you too as well Helena. I'll handle it from here."
"No, I think I'm staying," Helena said.
The woman kept looking over her shoulder ever couple of seconds. She sensed some trouble, although she didn't know how much trouble there really was. Regardless, she watched Claire's back as always.
"I'm going to stay here," Kara said. She gave her cousin a challenging look. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you've changed. And I'm not sure if the change is really good."
Claire ignored Kara's words. She started to attach the final explosive device. Raising a hand to her brow, Claire wiped sweat from her face.
Kara cleared her throat. The blonde hovered a few inches above the ground. Diana shook her head, almost as if telling Kara to pick her battles wisely.
The Amazon Princess wasn't entirely too happy with Claire's attitude either. Now was not the time. The Amazon Princess picked up on something. The hairs prickled across the back of her neck for some reason, although she didn't know why.
"Something's really wrong," Diana said.
"Yes, something is really wrong," Kara said. "And it has to do with Claire's attitude and how much it reeks. She's been acting like….."
Nightwing's eyes locked onto Supergirl's. The two of them faced off against each other. The Huntress cleared her throat when she heard the door open up.
A clapping sound echoed throughout the abandoned warehouse. The entire group turned their attention to the gentleman who turned up. The one and only Joker appeared in front of them. The man walked towards them, a spring in his step, and a song dancing in his heart.
"Oh boy, this is a charming little reunion, isn't it?" The Joker asked. "Can you feel it? Can you feel the love tonight? It about makes my stomach want to turn, doesn't it? But, you know, everything is going to be okay. It's going to be pretty swell, isn't it?"
Helena rushed the Joker and nailed him with a roundhouse kick. The Joker slumped to the ground.
After all of these years, the woman thought of one thing. Revenge for all of the pain the Joker caused her. Helena wrapped her hands around the Joker's neck.
Kara frowned. Helena choked out the Joker.
"Something's not right," Nightwing said.
For the first time tonight, Kara agreed with what her cousin said.
"You see….just you thought….you had all of the answers, I went ahead and changed….all of the questions."
Clay tendrils burst free from the Joker's chest. Helena flipped out of the way, sticking a swift landing and landing firmly on his feet. Clayface rose from the depths.
"Behold, one of the grandest performances of my entire career," Clayface said. "Basil Karlo, actor extraordinaire, at your service….."
Clayface shifted his arm into a large hammer and swung it at the heroes. Supergirl ducked her head, rolling out of the way, preventing the hammer from smashing into her.
Perking up, she measured him. The woman's eyes glowed and fired a blast of heat vision at Clayface. The heat vision passed through his body when his chest contorted into a large gaping hole.
Ella crossed her arms. She wanted to be out in the thick of things. One of Barbara's old Batgirl costumes fit her rather nicely. The black leather of the costume slapped against her body, making a nice form fit on her young body.
Thea, Dinah, and Artemis swept in from behind her.
"Talk about getting thrown into the deep end on my first field mission," Ella said.
"You wanted it, you're going to have to take everything which goes along with it," Dinah said. "But, I don't think….."
The armored thugs moved in through the chaos of the city. One of them blew up the front entrance of a bank. Despite the entire city being in ruins, old thuggish habits ran hard.
Artemis raised her quiver. The Emerald Archer prepared to fire her shot. Dinah raised her hand, preventing Artemis from doing so.
"Not now?" Artemis asked.
Dinah shook her head. She thought an arrow wouldn't work as well. The fishnet clad superheroine positioned herself.
A Canary Cry aimed at the front entrance of the building caused bricks to fall. The Intergang goons stumbled backwards, to avoid the following bricks.
The falling bricks and the subsequent stumbling put them in position for Dinah to attack. She jumped into the air. Her legs split and caught two of the goons with kicks to the side.
Another goon lifted a large laser cannon. Artemis disabled the laser cannon with an arrow to the rest. Thea disabled the goon with an arrow to the non-padded part of his knee. He doubled over.
Ella caught one of the goons with an arrow to the chest, using the crossbow she had. A larger goon rushed her, in an attempt to strangle her. She slid underneath his extended arm. The woman propelled herself onto the goons back and started to fire a series of jabs to the back of his neck.
Another beefy goon grabbed her around the neck and hurled her off to one side. Ella dangled.
"Alright, Batgirl, I have you now….."
She disengaged a grenade from her utility belt. The grenade discharged liquid nitrogen in his face.
Ella shook her head as she slid down to the ground. Okay, she still was getting used to what pouches have what things in them. The woman dodged an attack from another large goon. He smashed into the wall.
Artemis shot her arrows in a triangle motion. It struck three of the goons in the chest, doubling them over onto the ground.
"Do you have any idea what the Joker's doing?" Artemis asked.
Barbara sighed and frowned.
"Not a clue but…."
"I traced the signal!" Felicity chimed in out of nowhere over the communication link. "And I'll relay you the information right now."
Barbara's tone turned fairly salty at Felicity beating her to the punch. The woman's agitation grew to an entirely new level.
"It's not fair, I've got the signal first…and…."
"Hey, you were just a little slower on the draw, you were out in the field too long, and rusty…it happens…"
Dinah heard the squabbling in her ear. She shook her head at the squabbling mission support girl. Linking all of them up at the same time, someone thought it was a good idea, why?
She took out one of the goons with a well placed kick. One of them aimed their weapon at her. She dodged behind him. Dinah grabbed him around the neck and jumped up, bringing the back of his head against the ground with a solid crack.
"I think we took out all of them."
Thea caught one of them with an arrow to the back of the knee. One of them doubled over. She looked over her shoulder, frowning.
"Okay….we've got all of them."
"Given how our luck has been tonight, shall I say it?" Chloe asked. Felicity and Barbara grew silent. "The obvious trap is obvious."
"Do we have a choice?" Dinah asked.
No one needed to answer the question. They knew they didn't have a choice. The screams of Metropolis citizens echoed.
Ella used the sensory vision on her cowl to analyze the scene around her. Her lips curled into an obvious frown.
"Really, more Intergang?"
"Sounds like we might be delayed," Thea said.
Artemis rested her hand on Thea's shoulder. The two archers locked eyes. Loading their bows, they started to fire.
The arrows impacted the ground. A sticky foam released from the arrows which ensnared the Intergang goons.
"My turn."
Dinah shifted her weight and opened her mouth. One well-placed Canary Cry knocked on the goons. Their headpieces protected themselves from ear damage, but the resulting impact knocked them out all of the day.
Huntress tucked and rolled. She narrowed her eyes as Clayface's arm extended into a wrecking ball and tried to take her head off.
Wonder Woman charged in from the other end. She nailed Clayface with a couple of stinging blasts to the back of the head. A hand reached from Clayface's ass and grabbed Wonder Woman by the throat, before pushing her back against the wall.
Donna tried to rush in. She dodged the tendrils.
"Why do half of these criminals have a hentai fetish?" Donna asked. "Tentacles everywhere!"
She avoided the attack. Kara utilized her ice breath, which caused Clayface to be frozen in place. At least for the moment.
She couldn't breathe too easy. The tendrils underneath the ground started to crack. They shot out in every single direction.
Clayface broke out. Huntress and Nightwing rushed in from either side. Clayface contorted into a blob of mud on the ground and flowed into the other direction.
The monster engulfed several tools on the wall. The razor sharp tools fired at the heroes. Several sharp blades flew at them. Huntress and Nightwing deflected the tools with steady attacks.
"You know what the best part of this all is, don't you?"
Kara groaned. Her heat vision too out a rusty saw in the process. She wished she could use her heat vision to take him out.
'Monologue, wonderful, just wonderful? My day couldn't improve any more if I wanted it to.'
Clayface raised a large hammer, turning both of his arms. He slammed them down onto the ground, forcing the heroes to scatter.
"I've made a better Joker, than the Joker himself….."
Clayface contorted into the Joker for a moment, with a really big gun. He started to fire at the heroes.
Kara cut the gun from his body.
"Oh come on, don't I get the academy award?"
"The Joker won't like it you did his act better than him," Huntress said.
She fired three arrows containing super sticky glue in Clayface's chest. Clayface attempted to rip the arrows out, only for Helena to push a detonator.
Clayface exploded, sending globs of clay splattering all over the walls. The creature rested on the walls, oozing.
"Team B is heading towards the old LexCorp North Factory," Chloe said. "We tracked the signal there."
Kara heard enough background chatter to gather what happened.
"Yeah, I figured about as much….."
"And on another note, whose idea was it to have three mission support people on call at the same time?" Chloe asked. "This is a muddled mess."
Kara couldn't answer the question right now. Clayface reformed himself. He broke into one of the crates, and absorbed one of the canisters into him.
"Please tell me he didn't take what I think he took," Kara said.
Karlo's mass expanded to several times his side. His body became spiked, and his eyes glowed red.
"Yes, now I'm going to crush you!" Clayface yelled.
Kara dodged his beefy fist, in an attempt to take her out.
Diana swung her lasso and wrapped it around Clayface. Clayface's arms rose and caused Diana to fly off to the side. The Amazon Princess crashed down. She bounced to her feet, fearless. Diana fired a series of punches and kicks. She removed a sword from her sheath and swung it, nailing Clayface in the chest with it.
The sword shattered on impact. Clayface grabbed Diana by the throat.
Another trio of sticky arrows caught him in the chest. Helena tried to blow him up again, but his body absorbed the charge.
"You're going to have to do better than…."
Three clunky grenades stuck in his back. Claire pushed a button and released a charge. Clayface's body froze.
"Kara, now!"
Kara flew all the way out of the exit of the warehouse to gain momentum. She came back down like a cork of light, and smashed Clayface in the chest.
Several chunks of ice flew in every direction. The frozen and broken body of Clayface spread out. His particles could not rejoin together. The Titan crippled his ability.
Kara slumped to the ground. She looked at her bruised knuckles. Diana made her way over.
"Are you alright?" Diana asked.
"I should be asking you if you're alright," Kara said. "Don't worry, I'm fine."
Claire reached over and slid open the crate. Only one small canister rested in the crate. The word "TITAN" etched on it.
"It's as we feared," Helena said.
"Well, at least the rest of these shipments won't be used," Claire said.
"Actually, no," Helena said.
She broke open the crate and revealed they filled with nothing, but confetti. Clayface used one of the only samples of Titan here to expand his form in an attempt to take them out.
Back to square one, but they had a lead on where the real Joker might be.
Harley arrived with the mayor at the docks, by the abandoned LexCorp penthouse.
"Alright, this is your stop, get out!"
Harley opened the door and grabbed the Mayor. She threw him out onto the docks. The man breathed heavily, sweat dripping down his face.
"What do you want?" the Mayor asked. "If this about money, I have money….just give me….just tell me."
Harley cracked him on the shoulder, forcing him back down to his knees.
"You politicians make me sick," Harley said. "You think you can buy me off like some common criminal. Well the joke's on you, because there's nothing common about me!"
Harley took the gun out of the holster and pointed it at the terrified gentleman. He slumped to his knees, sweat rolling down his face.
"No, please no, you can't!"
She pointed the gun at him and a loud bang ensued. A flag popped out of the gun, which had the words "HA HA HA" written on it.
The Mayor dropped down, clutching his chest. The gentleman, already ravaged from Harley's crazy driving, succumbed to a heart attack.
"Well, boring, I was going to stab you, but I guess your ticker going out is just going to have to do."
Harley screamed as an arrow shot in the back of her knee. She slumped down to the ground. The Green Arrow grabbed Harley by the throat.
"Too late, Robin Hood, the Mayor's….well he's popped his cogs," Harley said. "And I used to be super villainess before I got an arrow to the knee!"
She laughed at her own joke.
"Where's the Joker?" Arrow asked.
"Please, like I'd ever tell you," Harley said. "I'm sure you'd traced his fake signal, because why would he be there. Mistuh J knows I'd never tell on you….hey…you're not the original Batgirl."
Ella stood at Harley.
"You know something, you're a needy and pathetic bitch."
"And you look like someone who has a few unresolved Daddy issues, but who I am to judge?" Harley asked.
"She doesn't know anything, the Joker wouldn't tell her anything important."
"Well, you don't know jack, because he's staying at Morgan Edge's old penthouse, while he's waiting for the city to burn!" Harley yelled.
Ella curb stomped Harley. She had to admit it felt good, not to hear her voice.
"I'm thinking another trap," Kara said.
"But what if it isn't?" Artemis asked.
"Well, the Joker's going to be more dangerous if he's cornered," Helena said.
The Joker's grand plan for Metropolis barely began to unfold. Only they had no idea what the plan was.
To Be Continued on November 17th, 2015.