The Luckiest

Chapter 38: Custody Battles

Scooting the chair closer to the basinet, Maxie smoothed down Caleb's blanket. It was so late, but she couldn't bring herself to sleep. A horrible nightmare had just disturbed her so badly she couldn't go back to sleep without checking on the baby.

He had been blue and cold in the dream. Her sweet baby had his life stolen from him after all. Maxie had awoken disoriented but with an overwhelming since of sadness, and then the dream had come back to her. This was her greatest fear—that, even though Caleb was finally home and over the worst of his rough start in the world, one day she would find him dead. It would all be over for her then.

The nightmare was still working her nerves. Maxie watched Caleb sleep, counting his breaths, fearing without reason that the next one simply wouldn't come. How many people had left her? The doctors told her that he would live, but what did they know about living a cursed life? People she loved left. It was as simple as that.

Slowly, her bedroom door creaked open. Maxie turned to see Felicia standing in the doorway. She pulled her robe around her tightly.

"Are you okay? I heard crying…"

Maxie wiped her eyes, not even aware she'd been tearing up.

"Nightmare. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." Maxie kept her tone cool. Her mother had been staying at the house since Maxie's approval of her presence. She would be leaving in a few days, going back to her life, wherever she had made it. They didn't speak much, but Maxie did like having the help of someone more experienced with motherhood help her out with Caleb in the beginning. It was odd, to Maxie, that the woman who had walked away from raising her own children could still show a new parent how the job was done.

There was no forgiveness exchanged, though. Just quiet acceptance of the situation, two adults being civil, and maybe one day they could be more. Mac had been right in inviting her to come stay, but it was no miracle reunion.

"Mind if I come in?" Felicia asked. Maxie nodded. Her mother came in and stood over the basinet, smiling a little. Maxie watched her features and wondered if this was the same expression her mother had worn when she'd seen her own daughters as babies. If so, how could she ever have left them? It was apparent that there was love in her gaze. Perhaps it simply wasn't enough to stay, though.

"He's precious."

Maxie nodded. "Yes."

They agreed on something. Baby steps.

……

Spinelli took the carrier from Maxie and sat it on the ground, crouching low to get a peak at a sleeping Caleb inside. He quickly adjusted the baby's blanket before standing to speak with Maxie, who was doing her usual awkward "linger". This was always the most horrible part of being separated from her; putting on the polite face. They were acting as if they were an amicably split couple with each exchange of the baby, but it was a complete farce. Too many feelings ran rampant at each meeting such as this. It was all make believe, and Spinelli was tired of pretending.

Today, just like they did every few days, they met at Kelly's to exchange parenting duties, passing their first born from mother to father, father to mother. Spinelli inwardly kicked himself, hating the idea of his son growing up like this. What had become of his strange little family?

Maxie crossed her arms in front of her in a protective fashion. He wondered what she was protecting herself from. She put up a wall to keep him back for reasons unknown to him. The logic she used for their breakup escaped him. Spinelli could only be patient and hope that she would wise up soon. Until then, Spinelli would keep trying to remind Maxie that their connection wasn't just that of two parents but two people in love. It was hard not to lose faith, though, when Maxie seemed determined to stick to her guns and keep their contact to a minimum.

She wasn't dating anyone else. That was something. He sighed.

"Care to eat with me?" Spinelli asked softly, pushing the hair out of his eyes. Maxie pursed her lips.

"Um…"

He shrugged. Jason told him to not pressure Maxie, so he kept his tone light. "It's just lunch."

"Okay."

Spinelli pulled the chair of the closest table out for her to sit and Maxie shuffled awkwardly into the seat. He followed suit, plopping down as faux casually as he could, all the while his heart racing. This was the first time in weeks she had agreed to give him any extra time. Hope flitted inside him.

But after a moment of uncomfortable silence, Maxie shuffled.

"I think I need to go."

"Maxie…" Spinelli pleaded, his heart sinking. Not another missed opportunity.

She held her hands up as if signaling a surrender, "Spinelli, don't."

Something in her tone made Spinelli feel an almost animalistic growl form in his throat. It wasn't fair. If she would just let him speak for two seconds instead of cutting him off.

"Hold on," Spinelli held up a finger. "I need to say something."

Maxie shook her head, her face flushing. "Not here in public."

"Yes," he insisted. "Here. In public."

Eyes flashing, Maxie grit her teeth. "What?"

Spinelli glanced down at Caleb sleeping in his carrier and took a deep breath. "When you told me you were pregnant, it was the scariest moment of my entire life. Even still, I told you I would never, ever abandon you. This setup we've got going on here goes against what every fiber in my being is telling me."

"I've got to go," Maxie stood up, the chair raking across the floor with a loud screeching. Caleb's eyes fluttered open, confused. His mother bent down and gently soothed him, curling some of his hair around her small fingers.

"It's okay, little baby. Mom's gotta say goodbye now…" She cooed, ignoring the fact that Spinelli was seething over his latest dismissal.

He didn't know what made him say it. "Fine. Run away, scared little girl."

Maxie's lips curled into a sneer. Blowing a kiss to the baby, she bustled by him without another word. Spinelli clawed at his hair. Reaching down to pick up a blinking Caleb, Spinelli grumbled.

"Well, that went well didn't it?"

Caleb gripped one of the buttons on Spinelli's shirt. Sighing, Spinelli pressed a kiss into his son's temple.

"Caleb, you are a most satisfying listener."

………

Kate Howard clicked her pin, eyeing Maxie over the top of an application. "Now, Miss Jones…You have a son, correct?"

Maxie grinned, sitting up straight. "Yes. He's just a few months old."

"This job is a very stressful and time consuming one," Kate began bluntly. "How would you manage being involved in both worlds?"

"Oh." Damn it. Maxie felt the perfect vision of her future go up in flames. She really wanted this job with Kate Howard's new magazine. Kate, however, seemed icy and not amused at the prospect of having an employee with a child

"Yes," Kate raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair. Maxie didn't know what to do or say to convince her that she could do the job. When the queen of the fashion world is giving you that kind of icy glare, what do you say?

Maxie cleared her throat and figured it was best to be honest. "Well…I don't believe it would be an issue. Spinelli and could work it out…He works too, you know." Inwardly cringing, Maxie wished she could have rearranged and deleted a few of the things she just said to sound a little more distinguished and less needy.

Kate rapped her fingernails on the desk once. "I'm fully aware of Mr. Spinelli's work."

"Yeah. Well. Yeah." Maxie couldn't read Kate one bit. Was she trying be polite and say thanks but no thanks? Was she looking for the right answer? Had Maxie already worn out her welcome? It probably wasn't good to remind Kate about the fact that Spinelli "worked" for the mob. Maxie felt her stomach flop over as she counted all the mistakes she had made during her interview. Did her clothes even look nice?

"Look, Ms. Howard. A good assistant makes it work. A good assistant figures out her own problems and doesn't bring them to her job. When I say it wouldn't be a problem, I mean it. Fashion is my life…I can bring something to your magazine. Please give me the opportunity."

Kate paused, rolling her head on her shoulders calmly as if mulling over what Maxie had said. Her expression didn't change once, though. With baited breath, Maxie felt each second pass like a century.

Slowly, Kate turned the page on Maxie's application. "So, what is your favorite designer?"

…..

He leapt up from the computer when someone rapped on the door to the penthouse. Spinelli was surprised when Maxie stood waiting for him with a huge smile on her face. His betrayer heart leapt at the sight of her. Would there ever be a day when it didn't?

"Hi."

Spinelli leaned on the doorframe. "Hello."

"…Caleb?"

"He's asleep actually. I wasn't expecting you until later…"

"Oh. Well…Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought it was later…"

Spinelli wondered why she was lying. They were supposed to meet at Kelly's like they always did. For a moment he felt uneasy. Maxie was a creature of habit and she only changed things up in extremes. However, the absolute glow radiating from her smile made him put aside any hesitation.

"You're excited about something."

Maxie cocked her head. "You can tell?"

"I know you," Spinelli said quietly, opening the door for her to enter the penthouse. He was curious to see her reaction to what he said, but Maxie was silent, quickly coming inside. She looked around the room as if she expected it to be changed somehow, as if in her absence anything could possibly change. Maxie should have known things would stay stagnate in his life if she wasn't in it. He, too, was a creature of habit. Patterns and codes.

Closing the door, Spinelli motioned for her to sit down. He was a little surprised when she did without much hesitation.

"So what is it?"

"Kate Howard called me…" Maxie bit her lip, pausing for dramatics. "I got a job working as her assistant."

Spinelli stood stunned for a moment. His Maxie accomplished a goal. Many late nights had been spent talking with her about where they saw themselves in the future if they had any option. She had always seen herself in the role of something glamorous. Though excited to hear more about her dreams, Spinelli had always been afraid of them. He didn't know where he fit in with the glitz of a world in fashion. Now, it didn't matter. She had her job and they weren't together.

Good for her. Spinelli gulped.

"Wow. That's great." He sat next to her on the couch, realizing this was the longest conversation they'd had together that wasn't about the baby in months.

Maxie tensed. "I'll be working more…" He could hear the implication in her tone. That would mean they would have to readjust their current ways of doing things. "We'll figure it out."

"You're the best," Maxie sighed, relieved. Had she expected him to answer differently? As if he could turn her down, as if he wouldn't rearrange the stars if he had to, all for her.

"I'm proud of you. You're on your way to getting everything you want."

Spinelli quietly pondered the shade of blue of her eyes. He missed them. Seeing the color reflected back at him from Caleb's curious gaze wasn't enough. The essence of her couldn't translate genetically.

"Yeah… Everything."

Maxie pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. A blue sweater. Spinelli felt a memory kiss the edges of his mind for a split moment. They sat there for a moment in silence. She must have felt it too, a recognition of meaning in the air. Adrenaline surged inside him. Reaching out a hand, Spinelli seized the swiftly passing opportunity to make things different. He simply brushed a strand of hair out of Maxie's eyes, but they both knew he was trying to chip away at the brick wall of their severance.

She blinked. "Spinelli…"

"Yes?" He whispered.

A small cry split the silence, coming from upstairs. Spinelli and Maxie both jumped as the sound was amplified over the baby monitor. Their son had decided to awake from his nap.

Maxie jumped up, clearing her throat. "Well…I'll just get him packed up…"

As she darted for the stairs to his bedroom, Spinelli buried his face in the couch. "Damn it."

…

"You're like my very own fashion model, Caleb."

Caleb just looked at her. Maxie laughed at his blank expression. This was her favorite extracurricular activity to do with her son—shopping. It was impossible to pass a window of a baby store without seeing something that made her absolutely break down into a cooing mess, spotting something she could envision Caleb in.

After cashing her first check working for Kate's magazine, Maxie was delighted to splurge a little on her son. He was still tiny and didn't need much in the way of fashion, but Maxie couldn't help it.

Maxie held up a dark blue pair of footie pajamas. A classic look, it said that the baby who wore them was a go-getter with success in his future. Laughing to herself, Maxie waved the ensemble in front of Caleb.

"What do you think?"

He blinked, unaffected.

"Aww…I can already tell you aren't going to care one bit about good clothing, are you?"

Caleb still just stared. She loved his eyes. The blue one mirrored her own ; the green one sparkled in the lighting. His one green eye was just like his enthusiasm for good clothing: inherited from daddy. For a moment Maxie paused, wanting to call Spinelli and hear his voice. This happened a lot. She wanted to talk to him, feel his reassuring presence. There was no way he'd want her back now, though. Not after she had distanced them from each other for so long, through some of the most difficult after Caleb's birth to the hectic lifestyle adjustment as parents.

Besides, Maxie had resolved herself to being alone. It would be better this way. They'd dodged too many bullets, literally and figuratively, playing with fate. Maxie couldn't deal with losing him and she wanted to spare him her curse. It didn't matter her how crazy she sounded, thinking in those terms.

Maxie drug herself out of her confusing and painful thoughts. Caleb was drooling a little bit. She laughed, tickled by his expression. They needed to hurry up the shopping. Caleb had to have breathing treatments on a very specific schedule to deal with his weak lungs. Their adventure in fashion would just have to be wrapped up soon.

She gazed around the store quickly, scanning to see if anything stood out to her. A tabled near the two of them caught her eye. It was covered in baby sized beanies just like Spinelli wore in the winter. Pushing the stroller over to the table, Maxie picked up one of the beanies affectionately.

"Let me guess. You want one of these?"

Holding it out to the baby, whose eyes were steadily drooping, Maxie laughed. Caleb's small fingers clutched the fabric as his duel colored eyes fluttered shut.

"Well…I guess we'll need to get a hoodie too…"

……

Spinelli almost fell asleep feeding Caleb. He would have, too, if there hadn't been a loud squeak on the staircase. Jason stepped out into the living room darkness, mostly shadowed. Spinelli could see how he would be quite intimidating in a dark alleyway. Glancing at the clock, Spinelli realized it was almost four in the morning. He groaned.

"Stone Cold…I'm so sorry…Did he wake you up?"

Jason shrugged, turning on a small lamp. "It's okay."

Spinelli shifted the baby's weight in his arms as Jason sat down in the chair next to the couch. His mentor hadn't said anything negative about them still living in the penthouse, but Spinelli couldn't help but feel like he was imposing on Jason's life. Jason couldn't be with his own son, but Spinelli could bring his into the home without much worry. The stoic man never complained though.

Jason watched Spinelli and Caleb for a second in silence. Spinelli felt nervous all of a sudden, as if he was being judged by a much more qualified person. Jason had raised Morgan, known all the tricks of the trade. Spinelli was going on instinct, books, and stuff he found out on the internet when it came to child rearing.

"Took you a while to figure out what he wanted…" Jason mumbled, commenting on the fact that Spinelli had been frantically trying to figure out why Caleb was crying. It was guesswork for the most part. Diaper? Attention? Sick (he hated this thought)? Bottle? Some combination of any of the above? This time it was bottle.

"I'm sorry, Stone Cold."

"No…it's fine Spinelli."

"The Jackal notes he is not the best parent for anyone and he realizes that this factor is impacting your sleep."

Jason frowned. "You're doing fine. Stop putting yourself down."

Spinelli bowed his head and watched Caleb. He hoped Jason was right. "Can you not go back to sleep?"

Pausing, Jason shrugged a little. "Not tired anymore." Spinelli translated that as Jason couldn't sleep. He wondered if his being awake had anything to do with the crying infant in his arms or more pressing matters on Jason's mind. The look in Jason's eyes confused Spinelli. It was obvious he was thinking about something, but he couldn't figure out if Jason was troubled by something with business or his personal life. Often the two intertwined, of course, which complicated things even more.

"Something wrong, Jason?" Spinelli asked sincerely.

Jason shook his head, looking away.

Caleb was done with his bottle, finally, but as soon as Spinelli took it away from him he started crying again. Spinelli felt like a failure, positive that was what would put the baby back to sleep.

"What's wrong, lil dude?" Spinelli asked as tears lined Caleb's strange eyes. It broke his heart seeing him cry.

"Is he sick?" Jason asked. Instantly, Spinelli pressed the Caleb's forehead to his cheek, checking for a fever. He didn't feel one, thankfully. Spinell kissed his son's temple before rocking him in his arms, trying to shush him.

"Here." Reaching out his arms, Jason gestured for Spinelli to pass the baby to him. "You need a break."

Spinelli passed the warm weight over to Jason's awaiting arms, a small grin forming on the corner of his face. Seeing Jason hold his son was very cool. It didn't take long before Caleb's crying ebbed down to a small whine and then ceased altogether. Spinelli was amazed at Jason's insane-baby-whispering-skills.

"Just got to have patience," Jason muttered as he stood, walking Caleb over to the door that led to the balcony.

Spinelli watched them quietly. Jason laughed. "You're kid is giving me this weird look."

"Like he's trying to figure you out?" Spinelli suggested. He'd seen that look a lot. Caleb was mysterious. He always watched, quietly, always pensive. Maybe Caleb was an old soul.

"Yes," he laughed again. "He's sizing me up."

"Uncle Jason vs. Caleb Spinelli…could be an epic battle…"

Jason was quiet, again. "How are things going with Maxie?"

Spinelli resisted the urge to smother himself in the pillows. "…Lustful and yet awkward."

"Don't give up on her. She's special to you." This was said so quietly Spinelli wasn't sure Jason had even said it. He wondered if Jason was even speaking to him in that moment. Perhaps they had come to the real reason Jason was awake at four in the morning.

"Do we make you miserable, Stone Cold?"

"What?"

"Being around…Me and my small one, when you can't be with yours…"

Turning his back on the window, Jason shook his head no. "…I'm not bitter, if that is what you're asking. It's hard sometimes, knowing I don't get the time you do with your son. You should cherish it."

"I do," Spinelli assured him, wanting Jason to know that he didn't take parenthood lightly.

"…Besides…I enjoy the company," He smiled, passing the now sleeping baby back to Spinelli.

"Good to know," Spinelli took Caleb back. "…Although, The Jackal does regret not getting his own casa before Caleb was born."

Jason sat back down on the couch. "What do you mean? I didn't know you were looking for your own place."

Spinelli sighed. "Maxie and I were going to find a place before he was born…we thought we had more time…" He shook his head, remembering how excited they'd been to be moving in together, before they had broken up, before Caleb had nearly died at birth. It seemed like eons ago.

Jason's snickering took Spinelli from his thoughts. "Why didn't you just ask me for a place?"

Spinelli raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

…

The elevator doors began to open with a happy ding as Maxie adjusted her purse. She took a step forward but froze as the doors opened enough to reveal a very strange looking Spinelli leaning against the wall just across from her. He wore a light jacket she'd never seen him in, both arms crossed over his chest. The usual puppy eyes Maxie had grown to love were searing into her, determined. Maxie sucked in her breath without understanding why he was making her feel so anxious by a simple glance.

Frozen in her place, the elevator doors began to close again, but Spinelli reached out quickly and stopped them. Maxie stepped around him quickly to get out of the elevator before it decided to close on her again.

"Okay well, I guess Caleb is inside?" She started heading for the door to the penthouse but Spinelli grabbed her wrist and spun her around. He was standing much too close. Closer than they had agreed. Maxie's high heel rolled once under her as she nervously tried to comprehend his proximity. His hand was traveling up her arm now, softly teasing.

"Spinelli…" She breathed. He shook his head, disagreeing with the hesitancy in her voice. Maxie felt like the hair on the back of her neck stand on end as he brought her closer. Her mind was in full confusion mode but her body took an uncertain step forward and pressed against his.

Maxie dropped her purse when he leaned down and brought his lips to the crook of her neck, kissing her in a place he must have remembered drove her crazy. Almost melting then and there in his arms, Maxie felt her legs quiver underneath her. Spinelli held onto her and continued to devour her neck.

"Spinelli…" Maxie repeated, this time not even sure what she meant in saying his name. More? Less? Go away? Come closer? All of these things and more knitted themselves into the fabric of her tone.

Spinelli pulled away from her suddenly and pushed back the hair on her face. "Quit messin', Maxie Jones."

He came closer to her face intending to kiss her but Maxie tried to regain her control. She stopped him, a hand placed on either side of his face.

"Spinelli…I can't lose you too!" Maxie whispered, tears blurring her vision. His face contracted painfully as if she had stung him with a needle to his heart. Once again, Spinelli shook his head fiercely.

"Don't think. Just, don't think," he murmured softly, leaning in. Magic words. She dropped her hands and he moved closer, hovering inches away from her lips. This was her choice the lingering implied.

So she chose.

Tiny hands tangled in his unruly hair as Maxie kissed him with months of pain and questioning pinned up inside of her. This was so stupid, why had she kept him away? Their lips fought roughly for the flesh that had been denied for too long. For a moment Maxie felt her body lift off the ground as Spinelli pulled her as close to him as he could. They were tumbling backwards now, into the wall across from the elevator. Maxie had him pinned for a moment and he seemed to relish in her enthusiasm. Her feet were barely grazing the ground, Spinelli's arms wrapped so tightly around her small frame.

Maxie didn't know if she could get any closer to him, but damn it, she would try.

"The baby," she muttered, breaking away from their kiss only briefly to breathe before bringing the same torture to his neck that he had delivered to her. Spinelli practically purred.

"Asleep…Jason's playing babysitter," Spinelli laughed and nudged her attention back to him. Maxie groaned.

"He's here?"

Spinelli nodded but grinned slyly. He kissed her again quickly before dragging her to the door across from Jason's place, the penthouse that no one lived in anymore. Spinelli pushed the door open and pulled her inside, quickly turning his attention back to her. Maxie stopped him.

"Can we be in here?" She looked around the room, startled that there was furniture inside what she thought was an abandoned home. There wasn't much in the room but the basics…A couch and a few chairs.

"We can most definitely be in here." Spinelli smiled and kissed her again, this time a smile lingering on his lips, one that she could almost taste. Maxie didn't question him anymore when he did that. She flung her arms around him tightly and rose up so that he could wrap her legs around him. Slowly but surely they made their way over to the couch, collapsing on the soft cushions with Maxie pinned this time. She didn't mind if he took over from here. Spinelli took great care to be gentle with her as they kissed, but Maxie didn't match his pace. She needed him to know how sorry she was they'd ever been apart, to make him understand that it was painful to hurt him.

"I missed you," Maxie murmured, breaking away from his kiss. His breathing was heavy, cheeks flushed. Spinelli's teeth chattered very quickly, nerves taking over.

"Do I scare you, Spinelli?" Maxie questioned. She raked her hands up and under his shirt, taunting his skin that flinched at her touch. It amused her how he could be so passionate and yet as timid as virgin in the same moment.

"Always," Spinelli blinked furiously at her, biting his lip. Damn, she actually did scare him. Her hands traveled up his chest, briefly hovering over his racing heart for a moment. He helped her remove his jacket and shirt before working on her own clothing, their frantic pace back.

It was like being alive again after centuries entombed in some dusty forgotten corner of the world. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and every other fairy tale sweetheart would be jealous of this true love's kiss as Spinelli and Maxie rewrote the book on love making. Each of their touches was unique, containing a different meaning. A flick of a tongue translated into I love you; each embrace, I've missed you. Friction was a frenzied I need you.

She made him punch-drunk, he made her cry. The last time they'd been this close was a cold, confusing January night. They'd been selfish then, taken from the other what was needed. They just didn't want to be alone. Little did they know, they would never be alone again.

Maxie drew a map for him with whispers and he listened carefully to find the way, always an eager student to anything she wanted to teach.

When she hotly said his name into his neck, Spinelli replied her with, "Speak again, bright angel."

"I'm no angel," Maxie promised, and proved him wrong. Touch. Kiss. Caress. Love. Pacing, breathing, sighing.

It was a while before either of them said anything. Maxie buried herself in his chest, wondering what she had done to have the afternoon turn out so wonderfully. She listened to his heartbeat and was proud that she made it race like that. Spinelli traced circles on her back and watched her.

"Happy Birthday, Maxie."

Maxie smiled. Of course, he would remember.

……

Author's Note:

Guys…I think the next chapter is the last one.

…Sitting quietly….

Wow. I kind of want to cry.

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