CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

"You need to tell him you're here, even if you don't want to talk to him yet." Esme looked at me as I came down the stairs, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. "You can't hide forever, besides you want to see Nessie again, you know once she sees you everyone out there is going to know you're home."

I knew she was right, but I wanted a few days, to just acclimate myself to regular life. "I know, I will, I just need a day or two. Then I promise I'll make my apologies to Ness." I didn't want to think about Embry, what I was going to do with that.

Carlisle walked in, "He was asking about you, I told him we were all just tired from the drive, that you had a busy week with Emmett and jasper, but he's smart, he knows I was hiding something."

I ran my fingers through my hair, chewing on my bottom lip. "Let me talk to Ness first, try to apologize to her, and then I'll talk to him." I looked back and forth between the two of them. "Is she home?"

Esme shook her head, "She is, but talk to her because you want to, not for any other reason."

It was too late; I was already waking out the door. My stomach was alive with butterflies, I had really missed ness, missed her laugh, her smile, her friendship, everything. I knew the others would forgive me, they could understand what I had acted the way I did, I wasn't sure if ness would forgive me, I wasn't sure if I had been her if I would have forgiven me. I walked the familiar path between our homes slowly. The longer it took me to get there the longer I could put off the possible rejection, the anger from her. I got to the porch, my legs like lead as I climbed the steps, my throat aching for moisture. I lifted my hand, ready to knock when the door was flung open. The force of it startled me; something hit me, knocking me to the ground. I was shocked, surprised, trying to fight it.

"DAWN!" I heard ness's high-pitched squeal, her arms still wrapped around me, "It's about time you came back!"

I was in shock, not knowing how to respond, this was the last thing I had expected. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her back best I could from the ground. "I missed you too, I'm so sorry, about everything."

She jumped up, pulling me standing next to her. "I know, mom and dad explained it, I know you didn't mean what you said." She looked at me, grinning. "You should have seen yourself that night; you were crazy out of control looking."

I hung my head, ashamed and embarrassed, "I know, I'm sorry, that's why I left, I" my words faltered, "If I had been in my right mind I would have never said any of those things, never tried to hurt you."

Nessie and I walked inside; talking and trying to force the past almost four months into the time it took us to walk from the porch to her living room. "I wondered how long it would take for you to make an appearance." Edward's voice cut into our conversation.

"Welcome back Dawn, we're really glad you're here."

I looked from Edward to Bella, a question on my face; Edward tapped his head "I know it wasn't easy for you to come here."

"I owe the both of you an apology too, I may have written you one, but I think I need to tell you in person as well, how sorry I am."

Bella put her hand up, interrupting me. "It's a new day, a new you, no need to apologize, the past is the past, we're starting over." I walked over, hugging her and Edward both.

"Alright, already, enough of that." Nessie was looking impatient, "We have a lot to catch up on." She took my hand, pulling me to her room. She and I taking our usual places on her bed, both of us talking at the same time, telling each other what the other had missed. It was wonderful, like no time had passed, picking up where we had left off. She was so excited to tell me about Kim and Jared, convincing Kim to go shopping with her, Alice, and Rachel. "I'm going to be a bridesmaid, you should see my dress!" She opened her closet, pulling the dress out and removing the garment bag.

"It's beautiful. I heard they were planning on a winter wedding." I jumped off the bed to get a better look, "It really is something." I could feel my stomach reminding me that I had skipped breakfast. "So what else is going on? The three of you are planning a Halloween party for next week?" I talked as I walked out of her room, I knew her parents kept food in the house, if not for they for Jacob who was a never ending eating machine.

"Yeah, hey, now that you're here you're going to come, right?" I could see her planning something already. "You could just wait, surprise Embry at the party, it would be great, you walking down the steps and into his arms, removing your mask and revealing your true identity."

I groaned, "I don't know about that, that I want to walk anywhere near his arms. I don't know what's going on with us, there's something I can't quite put my finger on." I shook my head, popping a granola bar in my mouth and grabbing an orange out of a bowl. I exhaled noisily, blowing my hair out of my face, my fingers slowing peeling the orange, I looked at Ness, "You can't tell Jake I'm back yet either." I saw her nod, "I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him yet, we've been writing, he says he forgives me, he understands, but I don't know. I know he did what he thought was best, it just bothers me in some way that he made decisions about me, that affected me in such a major way without consulting me." I slowly chew an orange slice, "I don't want anyone to ever think they can control me."

Nessie looked around, her parents having left giving us the house to ourselves. "Have you seen your birthday Jeep yet?"

I shook my head, Emmett had shown it me when we got back, pointing out that it was almost an exact replica of his, reminding me that since I now had my own I wouldn't feel the need to steal his. The only difference was mine being the two door version, so in Carlisle's words it wouldn't become a 'party wagon', whatever that was.

She grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling a note to her parents. "We should go for a drive, there's something you need to see."

I finished my orange, debating whether I should check in with someone at the house, telling them that I was leaving. I saw the note; I hoped that would be enough. Nessie and I got in the Jeep, she directed me to head west, taking me to La Push. I looked over at her, knowing where she was taking me. "Ness, I'm not ready to talk to him yet."

"I said I had to show you something, not that you had to talk." I could see her watching me out of the corner of her eye, "turn here." I followed her directions, pulling up in front of a small single story house, I noticed Jake's car parked in the drive. "Stay here, I'll be right back." She hopped out, walking into the house without knocking. I stayed in the Jeep, thankful for the dark tinted windows even if I didn't need them the way the rest of my family did. I watched the clock, waiting for her to come back. I saw her come bouncing back, a dark figure at the door watching her. I could see that it was Jake.

"Now what?"

"There's something you need to see for yourself, I'll show you." She gave me more directions, I could see that were going to the same beach I had been drawn to the night my world had imploded. We parked; she and I got out of the Jeep, but didn't leave the parking lot. She pulled me to where we could see the beach. She didn't need words, I could see.

I couldn't take my eyes off him, this was the first time I had seen him in months. He looked pale under his beautiful russet skin, thinner, and not like I remembered him. I could see him sitting, watching the waves. He was looking at something in his hands, I couldn't make out what it was from where I was, "Ness, what is he holding?" I knew her eyes could see more than mine.

"You." The word came out as a whisper. "He hasn't been the same since you left, like he's missing a piece of himself. He carries that picture you gave him everywhere." I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

I turned, running to the Jeep, tears on my cheeks. "Get in!" I saw the surprise on her face, but I knew what I had to do. I sped out of the lot, tracing the route back to Jacobs. I shifted to park, stumbling out of the door. Nessie followed me, still unsure what I was doing. I didn't bother knocking, pushing the door open. Working on pure emotion now it didn't register at first that I had just run into a house of wolves. I saw Jake and another's face look at me in surprise, then recognition. "Jake, if I leave Ness here can you take care of her, make sure she gets home?"

I could see the confusion in his face; the other face was still only registering shock, his jaw hanging slack. "Yeah" he drew out the word, his eyes going back and forth between Nessie and me. "What's going on?"

I turned, giving Ness a hug, "Thanks." I turned back to face the other two, tears collecting on my cheeks again, shrugging, I said the only thing I could, "Embry."

I ran outside, getting back to the beach in record time. All the while hoping that he hadn't left. My brakes squealed as I slammed the Jeep into park. My eyes on him as he turned at the noise. I was suddenly hesitant, walking towards him instead of running the way my body was screaming at me to. I saw him stand, his head leaning to one side. I saw his face come alive as soon as he saw me. His legs swallowed the distance between us; I pulled him to me as soon as we were close enough to touch. I felt warm for the first time. I didn't want to let go, my tears running down his chest, my voice shaky with sobs. "Embry, I'm sorry, so sorry." My mouth heavy with emotion, "please forgive me."

I felt his arms tighten around me, his lips pressing down on my head. His words whispered in my hair, "done. I can't believe you're here, you're really here right?" He pulled himself back, holding me at arms-length, his eyes searching my face. "You're back, no more leaving?"

I pulled him close to me again, my voice bouncing off him, "I'm home."

I stayed wrapped in his arms, I don't know how long. His arms around me, his gentle voice washing over me, my face lying against him. He sat down, pulling me down to him, his legs spread out, my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, "Does this mean we can start over? That you've forgiven me?"

I pulled his arms tighter around me, a warmth surrounding me, warming me inside and out. I nodded my head against him, there were no words needed. We spent the day together and most of the night too, talking. At some point we went back to his house, I knew I had to call home, let them know where I was. Nessie had already told them. I could feel myself getting sleepy; see that Embry's eyes struggle to stay open. I crawled out from his arms, draping a blanket over him, kissing him on the cheek. I looked for a piece of paper, or something that I could leave a note for him on, finally settling on a crayon and a piece of construction paper, wondering who in the house had a kid. I shook my head that would be another question, for another day.

Embry,

I hope you have the sweetest dreams, I know I will now that I've seen you. I'll see you soon; I can't wait to start the next chapter together. Until I see you again you'll be in my thoughts.

Yours,

Dawn

I got home still on an emotional high. The sun was coming up, but I knew Carlisle and Esme would understand. I might have to do some explaining to Emmett and Jasper, but I knew Alice and Rosalie would be in my corner. I parked, singing to myself as I walked in the house, feeling like for the first time I was free, that everything was finally where it should have always been. I stopped, seeing Nessie at the table, crying in Bella's arms.