XXXVIII. Shine A Light
Hear me, I'm knocking at your door I got to tell you how I feel Shine a light in your window My body's shaking with the cold Shine a light in your window Hear me, I'm knocking at your door
Could it mean I'm coming back for more
Could it be I could not stay away
Now all I wanna do is say
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
It's getting oh so dark out here
The moonlight is shining on my skin
Now open up and let me in
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oooh, I'm here in the shadow
I saw your face in the doorway
Oooh, turned around and it slipped away
I'm feeling tired, feeling old
And I see your fire burning bright
Now please wake up for me tonight
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oooh, I'm here in the shadow
I saw your face in the doorway
Oooh, turned around and it slipped away
And you're in the doorway no more
I'll stay right here at your door
No way I'm going no more
"Potato chips, cupcakes, and lemonade," assesses Marco, glancing down at Craig's plate.
Crowded around the refreshment table, adorned with a gold tablecloth, Craig is loading up on the most non-nutritional things he can find, really the only food he can find.
"Practicing for college, Craig?" asks Marco. "You know, where they eat microwave popcorn for dinner, Ramen for lunch."
"I didn't eat, alright?" defends Craig."Pre-performance anxiety."
"Judging by the looks you were throwing her during the show, I'd say Ashley anxiety instead," teases Marco.
Craig peels off a cupcake wrapper, stuffs half of the cupcake into his mouth, points to his lips indicating that he can't talk. Marco smirks, pours himself some lemonade. He's hoping eating will provide a good cover. Him suggesting that he and Ashley take a break is what's best, but after talking with Manny about letting people go, actually taking the break looms in his mind. Sure, it means no dating, but would it include not talking, or hanging out? He's gotten so used to seeing Ashley everyday for rehearsals, and before then, being with her or being able to call her. Even now, watching Ashley congratulate Hazel near the deejay both, he can't stand the thought of cutting her off completely.
"Sure you want to go cold turkey?" prods Marco.
"Um...how cold would the turkey be?" replies Craig, after swallowing.
"You're hopeless," says Marco, rolling his eyes. "Look, when Dylan wanted to open things up, I sorta agreed to it, didn't expect to feel certain things. You were there, and it got bad. So I'd highly recommend talking about it in depth."
Ashley hugs Hazel, starts weaving through dancers, including Sully doing the Electric Slide with Spinner and Emma following along. She's headed right for him.
"You're right," whispers Craig to Marco. "Completely right."
"Good," says Marco. "Anyway, Tim's trying out for Macbeth later this year and..."
Craig pounds Marco's back hard, forcing Marco's lemonade to spill down the front of his jacket.
"Hey!" complains Marco.
"What's up, guys?" asks Ashley, smiling at them.
"Nothing," answers Craig. "Marco was just going to clean up...right, Marco?"
Marco groans, shoots Craig a mean look, well, as mean as Marco could be, which isn't very much.
"Yeah," sighs Marco, then whispering to Craig. "You owe me a shirt."
Craig stares at Marco going off, shrugs at Ashley who didn't seem wise to what he actually did. He's somewhat confused as to where to start. After all, he's the one who initiated the break.
"The Squatch is getting major props tonight," says Ashley, shyly.
"The seal of approval," agrees Craig. "Um...I think...think we should talk about what we were talking about earlier."
"The break?"
"Yeah, that. What are you thinking about it?"
Ashley darts her eyes, goes up and down on the ball of her shoes.
"It's...it's good," stammers Ashley.
Craig slouches his shoulders. This isn't the reaction he wants, although can he blame her? It's time to herself, for her own talent. But it's away from me, he complains inwardly.
"Good," says Craig, quietly. "Great."
"Great," whispers Ashley, glancing at the floor.
Ashley reaches for a cookie, slowly chews it. Craig does the same, stares at the dance floor, where Sully has convinced the whole group to do the Slide at this point.
"How long do you think it's going to be?" asks Ashley.
"The party?" says Craig.
"No, what we were talking about," corrects Ashley.
"Oh!" exclaims Craig. "How long do you need?"
"Might be a while," answers Ashley.
A while? There is no set length for a while. Craig stuffs another cookie into his mouth. They both sigh.
"I hate the Electric Slide," groans Craig.
"Me too," says Ashley.
"What are you doing for the holidays?" asks Craig.
"Hanging around the house probably," shrugs off Ashley. "You?"
"Ditto," replies Craig. "Oh, but there's...there's a party at this place."
Ashley's eyes widen. "You're going to a party...like...like alone?"
Craig attempts to hide a smile. She really has no reason to be jealous, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy seeing her care. Everyone on the floor dips to the beat, claps, inches back. It's the one moment in this conversation where he feels as light-hearted as them.
"It's at a shelter where Diane volunteers," comforts Craig. "I'm playing them some songs on Christmas Eve."
"Darcy told me about that," says Ashley. "That's cool you'll be performing."
"You could come!" offers Craig. "If...if you're not busy."
"Would that...that be a good idea?"
Craig stays silent for a bit, can't see any harm in Ashley coming. It's one night, and it wouldn't take too much out of her time. Before he can speak, she does.
"Probably not, right?" says Ashley. "We should get used to...to being apart."
Ashley bites her lip, crosses her arms, waits for Craig to respond.
"That's what a break is," says Craig, shoving his hands in his pockets.
It's what a break is, he repeats to himself.
"See you, Craig," says Ashley, smiling weakly.
"See ya," returns Craig, watching her leave.
She looks one last time at Craig, slightly grinning, then disappears into the crowd, in the direction of her mother. He really thought she'd come to the party, one final outing before they cut off contact. Too hopeful, he guesses.
"Am I lemonade resistant now?" questions Marco, approaching Craig, hesitantly.
"No more," promises Craig.
"And you and Ash came to some type of understanding?"
Craig frowns. "Have no clue, but I'll be spending Christmas alone."
II.
"Say cheese!" orders Ellie, about to press the button on her camera.
Manny huddles in between all her students, tiara still slightly off-center, not really caring if it is. Toby's abrupt departure runs through her mind– the resolve, then the sadness, then his tears. It pokes at her heart, especially since she has no idea what's underneath all of it. She may be Miss Degrassi, but what did that mean? Why did Toby think it would change anything? She would do all the things she did with him before, despite her new commitments. Surrounded by Ms. O' Neill's class, it's that much more clear to her that she hasn't changed.
Alyssa loops her arms with Manny, breaking her reverie. Manny smiles down at her, while Henry, who stands next to her, shouts "Potatoes!" Ellie snaps the picture.
"Thanks for the interview," she says.
"No problem," says Manny.
It is strange to talk to Ellie, though it had been several weeks since the drumstick incident and a lot of Ellie's questions were fairly easy to answer.
"And congratulations," says Ellie. "The title was definitely befitting of you tonight."
Ellie's comment sounds genuine enough for her to believe it's heartfelt. Manny gives her an appreciative nod, before Ellie leaves.
"Manny, you looked like a real princess!" exclaims Alyssa. "I was about to fall out of my chair before they said your name."
"I told Henry you'd win!" announces Ryan.
"No, I said it first!" argues Henry.
Ryan and Henry start to push each other.
"Hey!" warns Manny.
"We're not in class," points out Ryan, sticking out his tongue at Henry.
"You gotta listen to her cause she's Miss Degrassi," breaks in Beth, smiling at Manny.
"Fine," says Henry. "I'll get you later."
The two boys stare at one another for a little longer, then appear to lose interest, getting excited when they hear a Yung Joc song. Henry runs to the dance floor, Ryan following him.
"I thought you were the prettiest, Manny," comments Beth, hugging Manny.
"Thanks, Beth," says Manny.
"And...I like your dress, Alyssa," continues Beth.
Alyssa's jaw drops, and she glances at Manny, shock written on her face. Beth and Alyssa getting along? Let me see if I can nudge this along, thinks Manny.
"There are cupcakes over there for you guys," informs Manny. "And here, Alyssa. This is too heavy for me to wear all night."
She unclips the tiara, puts it on Alyssa's head, making it more secure than it was on hers. Alyssa touches it gingerly, beams.
"Cool," sighs Beth.
"Be careful with that. Go ahead," says Manny, nodding to the refreshment table.
"I'll be careful," assures Alyssa.
Alyssa and Beth walk over, Manny remembering when she was that small, when that girl on the playground teased her. No one has teased her all night...well, except for Toby, though in a much different way. She spies Hazel, Paige, and Alex talking under the basketball hoops, goes to them.
"I thought all the action was at the three point line," speaks up Manny.
"No, only Spinner and Emma proving dorks can't dance to hip-hop," jokes Paige.
Manny glances at her best friend and Spinner trying desperately to find the beat, always a little under. At least Emma is laughing at their attempt.
"After all that stress, okay to be a little dorky," defends Manny.
"Valid point," says Paige, taking off her sash and placing it over Alex. "Miss Congeniality, people?"
They all laugh.
"This is so the prize I'm suited for," says Alex, shimmying a bit in the Miss Congeniality sash.
"You should be proud," jokes Manny.
"And Miss Hazel here should be proud," says Paige, hugging Hazel from the side. "No offense to you, Manny, but Hazel's articulateness and class...totally award-worthy tonight."
"Awww," says Hazel, leaning her head on Paige. "I love it when competition brings people together."
"I love free food," says Alex, getting behind Paige and Hazel, pushing them to the snacks.
Manny laughs, shakes her head. In a way, Hazel is right. The absence of competition, all that hostility, is clearly having some effect. All the petty arguments don't seem to matter anymore, or the insults, or the stress. It's like running a race, and feeling the wind on your face when you realize it's done. It's all done.
Or so I thought, thinks Manny, viewing Mrs. Tellman and Ms. Dale coming towards her with a heavy cloth bag. After the press left, Mrs. Tellman informed her that she and Ms. Dale wanted to go over her first assignments as Miss Degrassi. Manny told her parents and J.J. to go home. They resisted at first, but gave in when her father admitted he had to work early in the morning. She sent them home after a round of hugs, saying she'd get a lift with Snake, Spike, and Emma.
"Miss Degrassi," greets Mrs. Tellman, happily. "This is for you."
Manny reluctantly takes the bag, nearly keels over. In the bag is community information, events where they'd like her to appear, school projects where she could be of help. Mrs. Dale places a couple packets in her hands as well. The packets were heavy, her straining to hold onto them.
"Your scene...phenomenal," compliments Ms. Dale. "I knew you had it in you."
"Wow...I appreciate that, Ms. Dale," breathes Manny.
The agent loved her scene! Everyone else saying they enjoyed it made her feel good, but this comment from Ms. Dale makes her want to run to a bookstore, grab a million scripts, and start auditioning the very next day. No, slow down. There's the consultation, where Ms. Dale would help her in that regard.
"My office is open tomorrow," says Ms. Dale. "Is four o' clock good for you?"
Manny nods, catches her balance when the weight of the packets seems to have grown.
"Four o' clock, fine," guarantees Manny.
Ms. Dale smiles, leaves her with Mrs Tellman.
"So glad you decided to stay in the proceedings, Miss Santos," says Mrs. Tellman."Wouldn't have been the same without you."
"Thanks for convincing me to stay," says Manny.
"I particularly enjoyed your last interview answer," confesses Mrs. Tellman. "Especially since you're...well, already an inspiration to some."
They both look at Alyssa, giggling with Beth, the tiara gleaming over Alyssa's long, black hair. The image stirs Manny's heart, a small reward that means more than she can say.
"The ribbon cutting is the first assignment," says Mrs. Tellman, facing Manny again. "I marked the pages. Call me before the week is up."
Manny nods. Mrs. Tellman waves, walks away. Trying her best to make it appear like she's fine, Manny finally releases a deep breath, lugs the bag and packet to a nearby table, her head down. Okay, before the talk with Toby, definitely wasn't envisioning this, moans Manny, getting it all on the table.
"Need a forklift?" asks a voice she's heard so often before, but this time much more soft.
She manages to face Heather, who sits at the table by herself, twirling a straw in a water bottle.
"That might do," says Manny, laughing weakly. "Mind if I sit and read?"
"You wouldn't be talking?" replies Heather.
"I'll take that as a yes," sighs Manny, taking a seat. "Where's your mom?"
"Bailed," answers Heather. "Not before telling me I'm a talentless loser. Just grateful she showed at this point."
Manny flips open a page in the packet, eyes locked on Heather's. In that cold, blue stare, she does see something sometimes, though it's so hard to trust it. She might be nice, under all of that. Might be.
"That girl...wearing your crown. She your little sister?" asks Heather.
"No," says Manny. "I only have a brother."
"But she looks up to you?" continues Heather, her voice at its softest.
Manny turns another page. "Yes."
"Katie looks up to me. My younger sister. It's nice," says Heather.
Heather sniffles, while Manny stays quiet, afraid that this level of politeness may end at any moment.
"I know I'm mean," says Heather.
"Do you?" says Manny, a little pathetically.
"Darcy's dress...I thought she might actually tackle Emma, and get rid of the pair of them," says Heather, rolling her eyes. "Saint Darcy, of course, didn't. You stepping in didn't exactly help."
Manny raises her eyebrows.
"The pills...kinda genius on my part," says Heather, softly. "Smash 'em up enough, put it in water, let Nate drink. Stashing the body was the hard part."
"Wow," whispers Manny. "I...I'm not sure what you want me to say."
"Say it didn't work," says Heather, a cold smile on her lips. "My mom would say the same if she knew what I did. My father...he's drowning in vodka most likely, so much he has no clear sense of reality. You'd understand that, with your drunken escapade earlier this year."
Manny massages her forehead. Heather always comes through with a cheap shot.
"Are you sorry...at all?" asks Manny. "It didn't lead to anything."
"It lead to you getting Isaacs as a partner, you taking talent," supplies Heather. "You should thank me, Manny. The good girls can't get there without a little interference, a little push. Otherwise, the bad girls win."
Heather grins, proudly stares forward. Though as she walks away, Manny can tell her back is tensing, her heart is breaking under all that grinning.
She goes back to reading, Heather's retreat resting in her mind until there's a tap on her shoulder. Nate stands in front of her, dressed in jeans and a blue T-shirt. To look more formal, he'd added a silk blue tie.
"I'm clothed!" announces Nate, smiling. "And out of a job? Apparently, Toby was Marlon Brando while I was zonked out."
"Yeah," laughs Manny. "But I appreciate all you've done, Nate. I really do."
Heather being unhappy makes her think back to Toby, who despite his resolve, broke down, couldn't reveal his true feelings like Heather, maybe out of pride, or fear, or both. If she and Toby can't be happy tonight, someone should.
Smiling when she finds who she's looking for, Manny grabs Nate's hand and takes him to the three-point line on the court. Nate glances at Manny suspiciously, but seems to know what to do.
"Hey, Darcy," says Nate.
"Um...hi," says Darcy, shyly.
"You wanna dance?" he asks.
"With me?" says Darcy, smiling. "Sure...fine."
Nate and Darcy walk to the dance floor, Nate not sure where to put his hands until Darcy allows him access to her waist. They are smiling, nervous, but they are moving. Manny's sure that whatever obstacles her and Toby have to go through, they can move along too.
III.
Toby yawns, turns on the video store computer first thing in the morning. He barely got any sleep last night, viewed the snow falling in sheets through his bedroom window. It reminded him of how Manny looked in it during their final interaction. So sweet, shivering, pleading for some type of revelation. Did he want to give it to her, say those words with all the freedom in the world? Yes, yes, yes. He said it in his head all the way on the drive home, her saying "I love you" the final memory that came before he fell asleep.
The computer beeps that it's ready for the day, and the door rings, indicating J.T.'s entrance. His face is buried deep in a catalog, him muttering to himself.
"Rattles...rattles," mumbles J.T.
"What are you doing here?" asks Toby, surprised to see J.T. up this early.
"Baby shopping," says J.T. "Oh, and to interrogate you about Manny."
Toby groans. He wondered if anyone saw him leave the floor with Manny going after him. J.T. obviously had.
"Don't want to talk about it," says Toby, clicking an icon on the computer.
"That's what I expected you to say," says J.T.
He starts to type. After a few minutes, he feels his neck growing warmer and warmer. Turning his head, Toby covers his eyes. J.T. had retrieved a lamp, holding it up to Toby's face.
"Blinding me much?!" complains Toby.
"Spill or the computer gets it," says J.T. "Okay, not really. Just tell."
"Promise not to tell?" snaps Toby.
"Fo' shizzle," replies J.T., lowering the lamp.
Toby glances around instinctively, though he knows it's a weekday and no one will be in this early.
"Manny told me that...that she loves me," says Toby, widely grinning.
J.T. smiles. "What?"
That popped into his mind at first too. What? In love with him? Then, all her actions started to string themselves together in his mind. The tears she cried, the smiles she gave him, introducing him to her parents, and of course, the camp. Without words coming to him, he could only kiss her, let his mind drift, drift to a place where those three words were all he needed to let him know she was speaking the truth.
"You...this is what you wanted...wanted to hear," stammers J.T., clapping him on the back. "Yes! Toby!"
"Um...don't celebrate yet," says Toby, quietly.
"What now, man!" exclaims J.T. "Heather manipulate dirty pics of you and Clara and email them to Manny or something?"
"Huh...no...no!" cries Toby. "Only...Clara is involved."
"You want her too?" laughs J.T. "After rapping, I can say, Toby, you ain't a player. Don't front."
"There's no fronting," says Toby. "Clara's...got these feelings..."
"And you have no feelings, so cut it off," interjects J.T. "You're a nice guy, Toby, but come on!"
"I said I'd wait," says Toby.
J.T. blows out a breath. "Okay, comparison time."
"Not salt and pepper again," groans Toby.
"Oh no, we gotta go deeper than that," says J.T. "We're doing Liberty's stand-by. The old pro and con list."
Toby stares outside the store window. Well, there were no customers, and maybe this would help.
"Fine," whispers Toby.
J.T. draws a line down the middle of the back of the catalog, putting Clara's name on the left side, Manny's on the right.
"Pros for Clara," says J.T. "She's got a lot in common with you."
Toby nods. "And she's...she's loyal."
"Like an overzealous fan," mutters J.T. under his breath.
"Shut up and keep going," defends Toby.
"Sorry," says J.T. "I'll give her some more props. I doubt she has wandering eyes, so cheating's out, and she'd wait for you. Con is she's majorly pushy."
"Agreed," says Toby.
"Now for Manny," says J.T. after writing down things under Clara's name. "She's hot."
"And," says Toby, pointedly. "She's compassionate, funny, smart. I've known her longer. She supports me."
"I wonder if Manny would wait," brings up J.T., tapping his chin with the pencil.
"For me?" says Toby.
"Yeah, for you," says J.T.
"Not likely," shrugs Toby. "I mean, if I didn't say anything, and Craig came into the picture."
"Forget Craig," says J.T. "She hasn't talked to him in weeks. This is about you and her."
J.T.'s revelation about Craig settles him a bit. J.T. was around the pageant and center long enough to know.
"Ask her to wait," says J.T. "Let you go to camp single. See what she says."
"No...no, she won't," replies Toby.
She'd already gotten upset with him for waiting on telling her how he felt. If he asked her to wait until he comes back from camp...no, she'd never do that. She may even hate him at this point, though Toby's fairly sure you can't go from loving someone to hating someone in one day.
"Clara can wait," says J.T. "If Manny can't, that's a con for her. And I can't think of any other cons for our friend, Tobes. Other than she has an unheathy love of pink."
"The pink thing's kinda cute," says Toby, smiling.
"Don't ever say that again," groans J.T. "But ask her."
Toby glances at J.T. nervously. It seems such a huge thing to ask At the same time, if she loves him, will it matter when they got going, when he says those words to her?
"Okay," says Toby.
"Excellent," says J.T. "Oh, one more pro for Manny."
J.T. scribbles something down, nods confidently. Toby reads it.
"Toby's in love with her," reads J.T. "The biggest pro of them all."
IV.
Mild sunlight streams through, shining on Manny's comforter as she turns back and forth, back and forth. The sunlight doesn't fit her mood, Manny throwing the pillow over her head in frustration. Her heart feels too dark for this great weather. Where are the clouded over skies when you need them?
She hears the steps to the basement creak, several feet making their way downstairs. It's probably Spike and Emma doing laundry. They liked to do it, even if Manny was sleeping. She couldn't really complain, being a guest in their home.
"Manny!" sings Emma, quietly, jumping in the bed with her.
Poking Manny through her comforter, Manny groans. She feels something light and silky touch her nose, opens her eyes. Emma dangles a red ribbon in front of Manny's face, chuckles.
"What?" says Manny, smiling.
"I've got scissors," speaks up Spike, presenting her with a small pair.
"And I've got pancakes," announces Snake, Manny seeing Emma's father holding a breakfast tray with pancakes, a small lit candle in the middle of a stack of flapjacks.
"You guys," says Manny, blushing.
"Cut the ribbon," says Emma, stretching out the ribbon. "Some practice before you do the real one."
Manny grins, snips the air with the scissors a couple times, before cutting through the ribbon with one movement.
"She's a pro, ladies and gentlemen," says Snake, beaming. "A real pro. Ribbon cutting ceremonies today, taking over the world tomorrow."
"Thanks, you guys," says Manny, grinning. "This is so sweet."
Snake sets down the tray on Manny's bed, grabs Spike's hand, and they trudge up the stairs, closing the door behind them.
"I love my parents, but I want to keep yours too," says Manny, squeezing Emma's arm.
"We'll work out the details if you ever move home," waves off Emma. "Anyways, thought you needed a pick-me-up."
"Yeah?" says Manny, picking up a fork.
"While I was dancing, saw you come back defeated," admits Emma. "You won, so that wasn't why you were glum. Assume it's Toby-related."
Manny pushes the food away, folds her arms.
"He can't say he loves me," says Manny. "I swear, Emma, he acts like it. Everything's there, and he can't say it."
"Makes no sense," says Emma, stretching out on the bed.
"He's doing it to protect Clara...I think? It's hard to say. Or to protect himself? He doesn't want to get involved with a Miss Degrassi."
"Why not?"
"It doesn't matter, because I'm Manny. I don't care if we're different if we feel the same, you know?"
Emma nods sympathetically.
By trying hard, she knows she can make him confident that it can work. He helped build her confidence, enough that she walked away with this title, the title Toby is afraid of for some reason. Today, today would be the start of trying. He'd be working all day too.
"Time to pull out all the stops," says Manny. "If I can cut a ribbon, I can get him to talk."
V.
Overhead, Adam Sandler is trying his best to get Drew Barrymore to remember him, faking some road construction as rain pours down, putting his beloved penguin in harm's way. 50 First Dates. Toby watches for a minute, then goes back to reviewing the numbers Christian asked him to. He has noticed that business has been up lately, in the past few weeks, pretty sure that it has something to do with a certain bubbly ex co-worker. Mr. Santos wasn't the only one who came in looking for her. Kids especially liked her, though not as much as he did.
J.T. promised to return with a sandwich for him at lunchtime, but as usual, he was a little late. No customers came in really, so he could eat at the counter with no worries. No lunch yet. Toby didn't need any distractions anyway, starting to add a row of numerals. The door on the bell clangs, signaling J.T.'s arrival.
"Hey, J.T.," says Toby, carrying the one.
To his surprise, J.T. doesn't answer with his usual witty retort or an excuse. He hears the shuffling of video boxes, guesses J.T. must be selecting a movie, then Toby counts off in his head, not looking up as a video hits the desk. His eyes shift to it. Clueless. Glancing up, his heart skips a beat. Manny, her Miss Degrassi bag over her shoulders, gazes back at him.
"These too," says Manny, putting down a group of magazines next to the video.
Not speaking, he nods, goes to the backroom, pulse racing. What is she doing here? He half expected her to yell at him, though that wasn't her. He retrieves the tape, scans it as Manny watches him. Then, he reaches for the magazines, expecting to see some celebrities in the latest fashions, the coolest cars. Nope. PC Today, MacWorld, PC World. All technological mainstays, computer guides.
"Some light reading," says Manny, handing him the money.
Toby smiles. "Not very subtle, are you?"
"Not when it's someone I like," says Manny, grinning.
Toby's cheeks redden, him scratching his head. Manny slips the magazines into her bag.
"You shouldn't want to talk to me," sighs Toby. "I wouldn't talk to me."
"I'm feeling talkative today," says Manny, setting down her bag. "Are you?"
Toby grins nervously, drops his head.
"Toby, I know there's someone else in this situation," says Manny. "And I love that you're sweet, and you want to look out for her. But it's not fair. Craig strung me along, and I got hurt."
"Clara's felt this way for a long time," says Toby, staring into Manny's eyes.
"So have I," says Manny, leaning over the counter, her mouth inches away from Toby's.
Toby backs up, runs a hand through his hair. Manny shakes her head, removes something from her bag. Her vest.
"What...what are you doing?" asks Toby.
"You expect me to work here after all that's gone down?" says Manny, frowning.
"You're not working anymore?"
"What?" says Manny, her eyes tearing up. "You don't think it's best?"
Heat rises in Toby's chest. He wants her to return, to be around her. She can't just bail like this.
"Do what you feel is best," says Toby, angrily.
"I should say the same thing to you," shoots back Manny. "Then again, you're so responsible, especially to certain people."
"Give your vest to Christian," snaps Toby. "You're the one who promised to..."
"I didn't promise anything!" argues Manny. "You asked, but I never gave a stupid answer."
Toby bangs the table with his fist, the papers on the counter shuffling. Manny flinches.
"I don't want you to leave!" exclaims Toby.
Manny's features start to soften, a wide smile crossing her face.
"You don't?" asks Manny.
"No," says Toby, smiling. "I want...want you to be here when I come back."
Manny shyly takes his hand, leads him out from behind the counter. Her touching him feels as good as the kiss they shared last night.
"What else?" prompts Manny.
Ugh, this is hard, thinks Toby. He always melts when he stares into her eyes. He's so close to not caring about anyone else, anything else. Still, the conversation with J.T. lingers, like an annoying pest.
"Wait for me," whispers Toby.
"What?" breathes Manny.
"After camp," says Toby. "Please."
Manny shakes her head. "I don't...don't wait, Toby. I did a couple years ago, and Craig never followed through. That's not me."
"But it...it is me," explains Toby. "It is, Manny."
Manny releases his hand, grabs her bag.
"You...you can't do it?" chokes out Toby, a hard lump resting in his throat.
"Toby, I don't know if...," starts Manny.
"No, no, I understand," says Toby.
It's just he and J.T. were so sure she would, thinks Toby. The truth hurts, as tears burn the back of his eyes. He'd hold a smile regardless. After last night, didn't want to cry in front of her anymore.
"You have stuff to do so...," says Toby, picking up his pencil again, starting to write.
Manny opens her mouth to speak, but starts for the exit, rubbing her temple. He starts to add again, sobbing entering his ears. He looks at Manny, wiping her eyes.
"Toby...you need to know that I...I have no regrets," cries Manny.
It takes all his strength to remain there, to not comfort her. But those words stung. It practically sounds like an ending.
"If this is it, no regrets, alright?" sobs Manny. "Tell Christian I'll be here on the twenty-sixth."
Toby slightly nods his head, tears finally giving way, everything in his sight growing more and more blurry.