Silent Music
Chapter 35
Disclaimer: No no No No no no!! These characters are not mine!
Author's note: Hey everybody! I'm so happy with your response!! Actually I would like to thank elvishwolf7 for some of the suggestions she gave me on my request. Had it not been for those, I doubt my writing would have reached the next level.
"What!"
All of Harry's torment, astonishment and pain were uttered in that one word. Had Ginny been able to hear, she could not have said what she had to. Harry's voice was dripping with anguish and his face showed only a tenth of what he was feeling.
Even so it was enough to make Ginny hesitate. But she couldn't back out now, not after dealing Harry that killing blow. She had to finish what she started and hope that the end result would be beneficial for Harry. And that he wouldn't end up hating her.
So she faced him unflinchingly and mouthed, "You understood what I said the first time. Anyway, I'll repeat it for you;
You're a murderer. If you hadn't force them to stay that extra day, they would have survived. It's your fault. You sent your godfather to jail and…you-killed-your-parents!"
Harry pushed her away with a look of horror as instant denial rose to his lips, "How can you say that? I DIDN'T KILL MY PARENTS! I DIDN'T! THEY WERE KILLED BY VOLDERMORT!" he paused to rake his hands through his hair and drag them over his face before turning to her with a disgusted look on his face. He immediately switched to signing without even realizing it.
"How can you blame me? How was I supposed to know that they were going to die that day? I didn't choose to lose my parents! I didn't choose to lose my hearing! And I sure as hell didn't choose to destroy my whole world! What kind of person are you to think I would? Don't you know me? Don't you know that I would have never persuaded them to stay that extra day if I had known this was to happen? I didn't even know what was happening that day! How can you forget that?"
"I didn't forget Harry. But you did." Ginny mouthed the words very clearly so that there was no chance Harry could mistake their meaning.
For the second time since Ginny accused him, Harry sputtered again.
"W-what?"
Then as if his control came suddenly flooding back to him, he strode towards Ginny and shook her hard.
"Explain."
He finally stopped shaking her and she gasped for breath before stepping hard on his instep. Pain shot through Harry's foot and he released her suddenly.
Ginny shoved her face close to his and mouthed, "Never manhandle me again! I've had it till here" she made a slashing motion in front of her neck, "Of you hauling me here and there like a rag doll! Now sit down and I'll explain what I meant!"
Harry debated for a moment on whether to sit down and listen to her or to storm away from her. Finally his curiosity got the better of him and he sat down, albeit stiffly.
"Since the time of the murder" she ignored Harry flinching at the word murder and continued to sign her explanation, "Everybody has been telling you that it wasn't your fault. But you didn't listen. You kept blaming yourself; you gave up your violin and locked up all your emotions inside you and threw away the key. I could have gone on about how innocent you were and how it wasn't your fault till I was blue in the face and it wouldn't have made a jot of difference. That's because you blamed yourself for the murder, allowed your guilt to overcome your logic and did the one thing your parents would have hated. You gave up your music.
What I did on you is called reverse psychology. When I accused you of the same thing that you blamed yourself for years, your heart, your brain, your soul reasserted themselves and you got a clear perception of what actually happened. A perception not distorted by guilt. There was no way you could believe anyone else if you didn't believe in yourself. I know I was cruel."
She paused to drag in a deep breath, not seeing the myriad emotions flashing past Harry's face, not the least of which was respect and admiration. And the strongest was understanding and love.
"But it was the only way I knew how. I've been in a similar situation myself.". "When I was ten…my best friend Lavender and I were crossing the street. I remember checking both ways to make sure that traffic was clear. But she raced on without looking. I decided to follow her. But my foot caught on one of my shoelaces and I stopped by the side of the road to tie them. That's why I didn't see the huge truck coming towards and I couldn't hear it…because I was deaf. She didn't see it either and…." Harry almost lunged for her when he saw the spasm of deep pain cross her face, "For a long time I blamed myself for her death. I cloistered myself from my family and kept tormenting myself with what would have happened if I had seen the truck. She haunted my dreams till I couldn't sleep. One day I gave up eating. My brother Fred tried the same method on me that I did with you. I realized then that there was nothing I could have done. Nothing! My brother had been there with us that day. He saw what happened. He made me see the facts in a clear fashion and I believed…I actually believed that I was innocent. That it wasn't my fault. The dreams stopped too.
I got a letter from her parents the next day. They didn't blame me for a single thing. They knew that I could not have done anything. And I know Lavender would believe it too."
Harry looked at her with new respect for the way she handled herself and her pain. And he realized that she was right. Exultation roared through him and he felt suddenly very light as the affects of the gift she had given him settled into his soul. He finally believed that he too was innocent. And he had Ginny to thank for this. The experience was cathartic. Fresh determination to avenge his family soared through him. But first he had to understand what Ginny was saying.
"It hurt me to hurt you so badly but I needed you to see yourself…the way I see you. You're a brave wonderful person, one who cares so deeply for everyone around him that he will risk their neck for them. I want you to see yourself the way I see you. I love you Harry. I hope that in time you will forgive me for what I said and instead remember what I meant."
By the time she finished, she was kneeling in front of Harry, placing one hand gently on his cheek as she mouthed the last few words. Her eyes were beseeching and Harry knew that he had to put her out of her misery as fast as possible. He drew her to him gently and then placed one hand on his heart, the other on hers and then clasped them together and kissed them.
Ginny's eyes started watering at his tenderness and she hugged him tightly. Everything was going to be alright.
Harry spun Ginny on the floor of the comfortable living room in the Burrow as everybody around them cheered. Ginny guided him through the beats and he picked up the vibrations from the wooden floor beneath them. Her brothers, who had looked at Harry suspiciously at first, accepted him into the family's fold once Harry won the coke chugging competition that was held.
Draco came in a close second and was declared runner up after both he and Harry were thrown into a small pond in the garden. Hermione, Luna and Ginny just shook their heads at this and went back to chatting about Gerard Butler, Brad Pitt and other such important matters.
Everything seems so normal, Harry thought as he sank into the grass outside after the dance with all the others. The Weasley family was inside to prepare dinner and Harry and the others had been hushed out of the kitchen.
The cool wind blew across Harry's face, playing with his hair and pushing past him. He raised his face to it and enjoyed the wonderful feeling of enjoying the evening without having to worry about something or the other.
Ginny was sitting as usual right next to him, her hand entwined in his. She gave Harry's hand a tight squeeze which made him turn to her in astonishment.
"What?" he mouthed, not bothering to take the trouble of removing his hand from hers to sign.
Ginny just nudged her head in the direction of everyone else, who were laughing at some joke Draco had cracked.
"They look so happy." She mouthed. "I wish we could stay like this forever."
Harry just nodded. He too wished that they didn't have to face what was to come. And although it might not have been Ginny's intention, her comments brought home the point that he better inform the others what was going on.
He looked at Ginny, who immediately understood what he was going to do. She nodded her head slightly and gave his hand a light squeeze to let her know of her support.
Harry took in a deep breath and faced everyone. "Guys, I have something really important to tell you."
--a.n- should I be mean and end it here? I think not. The chapter ain't over yet folks
Hermione, Draco, Ron and Luna listened to Harry's story with shock. They had had no idea what torment Harry had been going through. Even though Hermione had suspected something like this, the reality was so heart breaking that immediately her eyes flooded.
Harry had to take brakes in the middle when he reached critical points because Hermione would burst into tears and bury her head in Draco's shoulder. Draco embraced her protectively as if to prevent what was happening to Harry to happen to her.
Ron and Luna just sat their shocked, their hands tightly clasped, Luna comforting Ron when he went white when Harry told them about his accident.
Ginny felt her heart breaking all over again as she saw the story unfold again. Only this time, she felt better because she realized the subtle differences in the story. No longer could you see self recrimination or self loathing on Harry's face. No, it was replaced by a burning look of determination and vengeance.
By the time Harry finished his story, everybody was staring at him in awed silence. Then to the other's surprise it was Draco who got up and stalked over to Harry.
"I should really punch you hard you know. You kept this from us for a week. I know we haven't been the best of friends but you could have told us."
Hermione hurried over to stand by his side. "Yes, Harry you should have told us. But that doesn't matter now. Whatever you're going to do now, whatever happens, I'm with you."
She picked up Harry's hand and placed it on hers. Ginny's heart filled with gratitude towards Hermione's instant acceptance. She placed her hand on Harry's too.
Ron and Luna came over to them and placed their hands on hers. "So are we"
Draco put his hand last, looking at Harry and nodding sharply. "Let's do this."