I Hope She Was Worth It Outtakes: Chapters 3 and 5 EPOV.
Written for Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes.
Rated M for dark themes and lemons.
Written by Caseyx457
Beta'd by RND4EVA
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight
Chapter 3 EPOV
"How's it going lil bro?" Emmett yelled as he marched into my room, not even bothering to knock. How did he even get in to my hotel room without a key?
I couldn't meet his eyes, knowing that if I did he would see the truth in them.
"What's wrong? Did something happen? Is it one of those days?" he asked, clearly concerned. My eyes began to blur and I sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands, defeated yet again by my demons. If I tried to speak I knew I would lose it and spill my guts to him.
"It's because Bella's here, isn't it? You promised me you'd be okay if we invited her. Why didn't you tell me it was too much, too soon Edward? I'll take you home if you want. I'll do anything to make sure you're okay. I'm sorry I asked too much of you."
Finally I couldn't take it. Hearing her name set me off and I could no longer bear the weight of my conscience. My brother had been the one who'd helped me through my darkest days so when I lifted my head, he knew automatically that I had used.
"I slipped, Emmett. She said she was seeing someone and that he was coming to the wedding… Jake." I spat his name, hating how it tasted on my tongue. "It got too much and I slipped."
"Jesus, where did you even get the coke?" he growled, looking pissed as hell while he marched around my room to find any remaining drugs on display.
"It doesn't matter. The point is I used. It's gone now and I hate myself for it. You can't tell Mom and Dad, though. They just barely agreed to bring me back to Forks and not send me off to rehab."
"No, they agreed to take you back since there's a murdering psychopath after you because you boned his girlfriend. Even after I told you to stay away from them, I might add. "
"I didn't touch Victoria!" I shouted, standing up to my full height to show Emmett I wasn't afraid of him.
"Don't give me that bullshit! There's no way you cheated on Bella with two broads and then abstained from sex for two years afterwards. I understand you have needs but did you have to fuck Mr. Crazy's whore? Look where that got her. Look where it got you!"
My thoughts ran to the image of Victoria's cold dead body, lying in a pool of her own blood on the white carpet. I only saw a picture from the police report, but it was enough to stick in my mind forever. But Emmett was wrong… I didn't touch Victoria, although she had wanted me to. It was sad that she died for no reason, other than leaving a man who was clearly insane.
"I didn't do it! I have my reasons for not having sex with Victoria. Clearly, you don't know me as well as you think you do." I spat and marched into the bathroom to splash cold water in my face. As if the water could wash away the thoughts in my mind.
"You're right, Edward. I knew the old you but this new you always confuses me. One minute he's on the road to recovery, the next he's snorting lines because Bella's life is going well." Emmett sneered and I looked at him intently, trying to see if he even realized what he was saying, or just letting words spew out of his mouth.
Finally he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry; I'm being a total dick when you need me the most, Bro."
"Stop it! I let myself and everyone else down."
I was so sick of being stuck here; first I would be getting better and then something would hit me hard and knock me down again, where I felt like I had to start over. That left my family and me to have to build me back up again, only to wait for the next time I would come tumbling down.
"What do you want to do?" Emmett asked in a calm and understanding voice.
What did I want to do? Leaving was not an option. If I left, I would only sink further into depression, knowing that Bella and I were in the same place and that I missed that time to talk to her, to be near her again.
"I want to see her again. I want to know for sure she's happy and I want to see this Jake asshole for reasons I don't even understand." I answered him honestly.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Emmett asked skeptically.
"Who knows?" I shrugged. "But it's something I feel like I have to do."
Emmett sighed and stood up. "Okay, if you have to. Listen, I have to go pick up Tyler at the airport. You can go wake Bella up for Rosie but do not do anything stupid or try anything with her." He warned me, giving me a stern look, which he inherited from Mom. "Before I go, swear to me, on Bella's life, that all the coke is gone."
"I swear," I had already flushed the last of what I had down the toilet.
"Okay, I believe you. See you later and remember, don't do anything stupid."
-O~O~O-
Bella's room was only one floor above mine and I decided to take the stairs to give myself time to calm down and think of something to say to her.
Something like, "Does Jake make you happy?" and then try not to get ahead of myself and ask, "Do you think you'll marry him?" The thought of Bella marrying someone else made me want to curl up into a ball and die.
When I got to her door, I took a calming breath before I knocked. When she didn't answer the third time I knocked, I was about to bash the door in to make sure she was okay. Luckily, I saw a house keeper coming my way before I broke anything down.
"Excuse me, would you be able help me?" I asked and the woman nodded her head eagerly. Her eyes were roaming up and down my body, practically eye fucking me. "I forgot my key and my...wife is inside sleeping. I don't want to wake her up." I smiled at the thought of calling Bella my wife again. It felt good even to pretend for a moment that I was worthy of her.
"Oh," The woman said, seeming disappointed that I was taken. "Fine." She swiped a little card through the slot and the door popped open.
"Thank you," I smiled and went inside, noticing immediately what a pig-sty Bella's room was. She had never been a tidy person and I smiled at the memory of the bathroom in our old house. Bella would have clothes, bras, make-up, towels, hair products, and anything else you can image thrown all over the place. I, on the other hand, was a neat-freak and had to have everything in order. I would spend the entire day organizing and cleaning the bathroom, only for it to be messed up again the next day.
I actually missed cleaning that bathroom after her. I missed everything to do with her.
"Bella?" I whispered as I stepped further into the dark room. I found her a tangled mess in the middle of the sheets. Her hair looked like a birds nest and her face was smeared with make-up from last night, but she still looked incredibly beautiful to me.
"Bella?" I called again, crouching down in front of her.
"Edward," she replied, her voice hoarse. She sounded so hung-over...
"Bella, wake up."
Suddenly she flew up out of the bed screaming. Practically giving me a heart attack at the age of twenty seven. She held a flimsy white sheet close to her body and I realized she must have been naked underneath it. Meanwhile my cock came to life for the first time in two years.
I knew that this didn't look good. I'd basically broken into her room while she was naked, scared the shit out of her and now I had a boner to top it off. Wonderful...
"Edward, what the fuck are you doing here?" she demanded and I froze. That white sheet left little to the imagination and it was hard to think of the reason I came here in the first place, let alone explain it right so I didn't look like a pervert.
"Don't worry...I just...it's three o'clock...Rose wants...Emmett sent me!" I finally decided I'd blame Emmett since he could do no wrong in Bella's eyes. She'd probably give Emmett a disapproving look but they'd be joking and laughing two minutes later.
"Oh my god," she muttered under her breath, her cheeks flaming now. "…Um... turn around while I get decent."
I did as she asked, but noticed I could still see her in the mirror in front of me. I also noticed her ogling my ass when I turned around.
"If you try to peek, I'll murder you, Edward Cullen." I was about to tell her I could see just as she dropped the sheets but...WOW! All thoughts in my mind stopped the moment I saw her beautiful body again. All the blood in me had rushed down to one area and I was thankful my jeans could conceal my problem well.
She hadn't changed one bit; her breasts were perky and luscious. Her supple behind was as tight and perfect, while her long milky legs looked as soft and inviting as ever. She was absolutely breathtaking.
I hadn't been with anyone in two years, nor had I felt the need to be. But after one look at Bella in all her naked glory, I began to hunger for her in a way that I thought had been extinguished in me entirely. My whole body was burning for her and my pants had become increasingly tight.
All her jumping around to get her clothes on did nothing to help my problem. But finally, when she managed to get her shirt over her head, I let out a breath of relief. If she had kept jumping around like that, I would have came in my pants, and I hadn't done that since high-school.
"Okay, I'm decent." she announced. Oh, baby, you're much more than decent…I wanted to tell her.
I turned around, my hard-on still painful, and she seemed to notice there was something up (no pun intended), because she quirked an eyebrow while I desperately tried to compose myself. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm the breast I've ever been," I answered and realized my mistake too late. I really had a one track mind in that moment. "I mean, I'm the best I've ever been. Best," I repeated, mentally smacking myself in the head for being such an idiot.
"O-kay, anyway, you said Emmett sent you. Why?" she asked and I had to take a minute to try and remember my reason for coming up here in the first place.
Ah Rosalie...that's right..."Rose wanted to know if you were alive and sent Emmett to get you, but his friend from college, Tyler, flew in today and he wanted to meet him at the airport, so I said I would come and wake you up."
"Wait...how did you get into my room?" she inquired, her eyebrow raised in question. Shit...if I didn't look like a psycho before, I'm definitely going to look like one now...
"I may have lied to the house keeping staff and said that it was my room." I admitted, my face heating up a bit in embarrassment. It really did look weird and Emmett was going to kill me when he came back from picking up Tyler.
"Well, I'm alive, so, will you tell Rose that I'll be down in half an hour after I take a shower?"
I nodded, thankful she wasn't screaming at me or calling the police.
Now seemed like a bad time to bring up the whole, "Are you happy with Jake," thing so I decided I'd leave it until the rehearsal dinner tonight. Everyone would be having a good time and I would add it in to our conversation smoothly when I had not just seen her naked.
"Thanks for coming to wake me up, by the way." she thanked me and I smiled, happy she didn't hate me anymore than she already did, before I left the room.
As I left Bella's room, I caught Rosalie coming down the hall. "What are you doing up here?" she snarled, her eyes darting to Bella's door.
"Wake-up call." I smiled.
-O~O~O-
Elevators.
They always seemed to take forever. Especially when your sister and her husband are making out together, while standing beside you and forcing you to witness it, no matter how much you complain.
"Edward, we can do whatever we want. I don't have Evelyn with me tonight so if I want to stick my tongue down Jazz's throat, I will." she growled and Jasper chuckled.
"Sorry, Edward. Y'know how pregnancy makes her. Not that I'm complaining." Jasper winked before going back down to Alice's lips.
"Please stop it. This is a two hundred dollar suit. If I get sick on it you're paying for dry-cleaning."
"Whatever! This is our floor anyway. Later Edward." Alice called as she and Jasper exited the elevator, leaving me to sigh in relief now that they were gone and I didn't have to be subjected to that anymore.
I was alone for literally two seconds when the elevator stopped again and the doors slid open, only for an angel to appear. Bella stood before me in a dark dress which had glints of sparkles in it, shimmering in the light as she moved. It showed her long legs perfectly. Her hair was up, although I loved when it was down…still, she looked like heaven and hell wrapped up in one.
"Bella," I whispered, unable to control my voice. "You...you look incredible." Incredible, in fact did her no justice. She was beyond incredible, there wasn't even words to describe how devastatingly beautiful she looked.
"Not too shabby yourself," she acknowledged, nudging me gently with her elbow. Then she moved as far away from me as possible. Did she really hate me that much...? "So, Gucci huh?"
Yeah, I made Alice pick out suits for me because I wanted you to see me and think I looked good even though I'm a drug addict who is being hunted by a psychopathic killer... "Oh yeah, y'know Alice. I really don't care about designer brands. She could dress me in a suit from Wal-Mart for all I care; so long as I have clothes on my back it's all good."
The doors of the elevator opened and we both stepped out. Our conversation had been easy and I really wanted to know more about that Jake guy she was seeing. I tried to approach the subject gently.
"So, when's Jake getting here?" It sounded a lot smoother in my mind.
She seemed hesitant to answer, "He's not coming. We're not...seeing each other anymore."
Someone up there still liked me.
It was over between them.
She wouldn't be marrying him.
She wouldn't be having his children.
She wouldn't be in love with him anymore.
It felt like a weight had been lifted from me, but then I remembered how selfish I was being. Bella probably loved him, and since it was over, she was probably hurting and here I was acting like a jerk.
"I'm sorry." I told her, as convincingly as I could manage.
She called me out on it though. "No, you're not."
I didn't want to lie to her again. "No, I'm not."
-O~O~O-
Immediately after dinner, the party was in full swing. Most people were laughing and dancing. I, however, sat in the corner drinking for most of the evening, only coming out when my Mom asked me to dance with her.
For the entire evening, my eyes stayed trained on Bella. She was so beautiful...
Emmett and Rosalie had claimed each other on the dance floor along with the other couples, so when a slow song came on and I saw Bella standing alone, I knew it was now or never.
"May I have this dance, Ms Swan?" I asked as I came up behind her, she turned to me with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.
"I don't know," she answered and I frowned for moment, thinking she was going to turn me down. "Can you keep your hands to yourself?" she teased and I chuckled, whisking her onto the dance floor.
"I promise nothing," I laughed, as I pulled her body closer to mine, although kept a respectable distance.
Having her in my arms was like something out of a dream, or a long awaited homecoming. This was where I belonged. My heart was beating erratically from being so close to her, and all I could do was stare into her enchanting brown eyes.
I still wanted to know if her life was fulfilling and filled with joy. I wanted her, no, needed her to be happy. It was the only way I could truly let her go. "I've missed this, Bella. I've missed you. But you do seem happy."
"I am happy. Why wouldn't I be? I have everything I wanted," she told me. But Bella had never been a very good liar. She wasn't happy...and I did that...
Guilt washed over me and I wanted her to hit me, to shout at me and threaten to kill me for all I did to her. For taking away her life because I wasn't strong enough to fight away Irina or Tanya...But she didn't do any of that, because Bella was kinder and stronger than anyone I knew. She deserved everything and yet got nothing for it.
"That's good," I choked out, knowing the truth but realizing it wouldn't help if I confronted her in her lie. "You look beautiful by the way." She really did.
"You said that already," she replied and I smiled, wanting nothing more than to kiss her then and there.
"I know."
"May I cut in, Edward?" A voice from behind spat my name.
I looked to see a tall, dark skinned man glaring at Bella and me. She seemed to know him and I realized the man must have been Jake.
It fucking killed me...
He had a right to hold her, when I didn't. But I knew if I had a chance of keeping her, I'd never let her go. Reluctantly, I realized what was best for Bella and I released her. I was lucky to have even gotten a dance from her...
I was giving her back to the man she loved.
That man wasn't me anymore. I had to accept that someday.
Then after I'd walked away, I turned back to see them, their lips smashed against one another as Jacob stared straight into my eyes.
His eyes said everything as his mouth closed over Bella's; "You've lost."
And I had. I'd lost everything.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
Chapter 5 EPOV
"It's a nice day to start again. It's a nice day for a white wedding!" Emmett screeched at the top of his lungs and I cursed Billy Idol for ever recording that song.
To be honest, I was glad Emmett was enjoying himself, it was the happiest day of his life and he deserved every kindness for what he'd done for me in the past. He was the best brother I could've asked for.
"Okay, okay, we get it. You're getting married, but let's save that wonderful voice of yours until karaoke time... when I have consumed a lot more alcohol." My Dad told him and I burst out laughing.
Emmett glared at me. "Shut it, Eddie. I'm an amazing singer; Rosie said so," he replied smugly.
"And Mom said I would be president one day." I added and my Dad high-fived me.
"Good one," he applauded.
"Jerks," Emmett mumbled.
Emmett was still in his boxers and socks. Even though we had very little time to get to the church, he acted as though he didn't have a care in the world. Whereas I was already dressed and waiting for him, so I could go see Bella. I wanted to make sure she was really alright after the whole Jacob debacle yesterday.
I was seriously considering going to his house and breaking his face, so that he wouldn't be able to force another kiss on any woman ever again, especially Bella.
"Come on; get your ass in that tuxedo or you won't be marrying Rose on time." I warned him and on that threat he seemed to get his act together.
We did eventually make it to the church with time to spare. What surprised me was that Emmett didn't seem at all nervous standing on the alter waiting for Rose. He was cool, calm and collected. He knew everything would work out and he'd be happy.
Rose, on the other hand, was completely freaking out.
"Oh...shit balls, I'm freaking nervous," she admitted, as she fidgeted and squeezed the life out of the flowers in her hands. I had been in the room for about five seconds before I saw Bella, and what a magnificent sight she was to behold.
Her dress was a champagne color (don't ask me how I even know that) and it matched the tiny ribbon that went around Rose's waist. Her curled hair was cascading down her back, the way I loved it, and the dress clung to all the right parts of her body. My mind went back to the day when I saw her naked body in that mirror. Get control of yourself or you'll be waddling down that aisle with a painful erection...
Turning my attention back to Rosalie, I remembered my fathers advice to me on my wedding day. "Don't worry Edward, just remember that it's Bella coming down the aisle for you and you'll be fine." I recalled how truly nervous I was on my wedding day. But once I saw Bella walk down the aisle to me, her white dress flowing and her eyes twinkling, all those worries was the one for me; I had always known that.
"Don't worry Rosalie, just remember that it's Emmett at the end of the aisle waiting for you and you'll be fine," I assured her as I came to take my place beside Bella, who was doing her best to ignore me.
"Okay," Rosalie breathed before she began chanting, "Just Emmett and me, just Emmett and me, just Emmett and me..."
The doors swung open and music filled the church as we began our march. I knew by the look on Bella's face that she was worried about falling. Plus, she did look rather unsteady in those heels...I offered her my arm and although she seemed hesitant to take it, she latched onto me and the spark ignited. I wondered if she felt it too. Whenever she touched me it seemed my whole body came alive. It was the strangest sensation and I wanted to feel it more. I wanted her whole body pressed against me...
When we'd reached the end of the aisle, I reluctantly let her go so we could take our places on either side of the church. Through the whole ceremony though, I couldn't stop gazing at her, thinking about how it felt when she touched me, how beautiful she was and how much I truly craved her. She was like a drug to me; I needed my fix of her presence... I also realized the true extent of my loneliness. I could crave her as much as I liked, but she wasn't mine to take.
Applause erupted around us and my Bella Bubble popped as the ceremony ended. Rose and Emmett had come to shake our hands before they were claimed by the crowd of guests and pushed into welcoming arms.
We exited the church to get to the hotel but before Emmett got in the car, he took my arm and whispered, "If anything happens at the reception, tell me. Don't let yourself down again."
"I won't." I promised and he nodded in acceptance before going back to reclaim his bride.
-O~O~O-
Charlie Swan. He hadn't changed a bit. He was still as scary as ever.
Bella had warned me to stay away from him. But he'd been by her side constantly the entire night, unbeknownst to Bella. I think he was keeping an eye on her because he knew I was here. I, however, had inside knowledge (my mom told me) that he was leaving early because his girlfriend, Sue Clearwater's, daughter, Leah, had broken her arm and Charlie wanted to go home early to see if she and Sue were alright.
That meant once he left, I would have all the time in the world to dance with Bella. The problem was, I had spent two years without her and that time apart had made me more than impatient. I wanted to dance with Bella now...
I decided that getting abuse from Charlie would be worth it if I got to hold her now. Seriously, this was borderline obsession, but that's what Bella does to me...
Charlie was dancing, quite awkwardly, with Bella, and I was about to chicken out and wait for my turn, when I heard her say, "Dad, I'm fine with Edward here, really. There's no need to go home."
Go home? He was trying to cut out my Bella time? No, I couldn't let that happen. I walked up behind him. "May I cut in, sir?" I asked and Bella's eyes widened in a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing kind of way.
"Dad..." Bella said in warning but Charlie took no notice.
"No you may not cut in Edward," Charlie started and I felt a little uneasy being so close to him as he spoke. The man owned guns and my experience with them hadn't been good so far... "Unless you want me to kick your ass, I suggest you stay away from my little girl. You've hurt her already and I'll be damned if I let you do it again."
My legs were starting to feel a bit like Jell-O and I was sort of regretting my decision not to wait until Charlie had left. But still, if he was trying to take Bella away early I would never forgive myself if I didn't try to cling on to every little moment I had left with her. Who knows, the next time I saw her she could be married with children.
"Dad," she scolded him before adding, "It's only a dance and I know you're trying to protect me but what happened between us is none of your business."
Charlie obviously didn't like Bella's response and turned red-faced with fury. "Bells, this is the asshole who was unfaithful to you for eight months. I can't let that go."
Images of Irina and Tanya came flooding into my mind and I had to fight to stay in control and not shut down like I normally did when that happened. My hands shook and beads of sweat collected on my forehead, but I managed to control it and compose myself.
Charlie trudged off to go and vent to my Father as I collected Bella in my arms. "I thought he was going to kill me. I really think I just shit myself," I joked, trying to lighten the mood. "God, I always knew he was scary but that was..."
"It's your own damned fault, I told you specifically to avoid him. Did you think I was kidding when I told you he would kill you?" she asked angrily and I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face at how cute she was when she was mad.
"I figured I would take the chance if it meant holding you for any length of time," I answered honestly and had to fight the urge to press my lips against hers. They looked so soft and inviting, but I knew the only thing I would receive if I tried was an ass kicking and a restraining order.
I wasn't aware I had brought us closer together until I felt her chest pressed up close against mine. It seemed as though I was no longer in control of my body. "The way you look today is indescribable by the way, truly," I wanted her to understand how breathtaking she was to me.
"Edward..." she breathed, saying my name like a plea. I could see what she wanted to say as clear as day on her face; I've missed you, but I can't.
"Don't," I objected, my eyes in return telling her, I need you, take me. All that I am is yours. "Just be happy here with me. Right now,"
The room full of people disappeared and suddenly it was only us. I'd forgotten everything but her. Her smell, her voice, the feel of her pressed against me, it was all I knew in those few moments.
"I..." can't...
"Bella," I want you...
She had bewitched me, taken over my heart, body and soul as she always had. She owned me. My eyes closed and I could feel my body lean towards her, her breathing was slow and measured, deep with lust as mine was.
Maybe she wanted me as much as I wanted her? Maybe she felt the same pull I was feeling too? The one that connected us to each other, and pulled us back together when we were apart.
We were so close; my bottom lip touched hers until reality suddenly came crashing back.
"I'm sorry," she choked out, scrambling away before running off.
I was in shock for a moment and I didn't think I could comprehend what just happened.
I had almost kissed Bella.
She had almost kissed me too!
There was hope for us. I had to go after her...
I sprinted to the elevators, but when I didn't see her, I knew she was either already in her room or she had taken the stairs. So I went, running up the stairwell with everything I had until I saw her, shoes in hand, mascara smudged around her eyes and running down her cheeks.
Bella held up her hand before I could even open my mouth. "Whatever you're going to say, don't..." she warned but I didn't listen. She had to know I wasn't looking for some quick fling, that I would never intentionally hurt her.
I only wanted to be with her.
"I refuse Bella. I refuse to believe I've lost you forever. I'm going to work so hard to win you back."
"I told you this before, your words mean shit to me now!" she roared and I pressed her against the concrete wall, needing her to stop screaming and look at the sincerity in my eyes as I spoke to her.
"I know. Believe me I know. I failed you before, but I've grown and I've changed. I'm not the same idiot I was two years ago Bella, and I need you. Every day I go without you I'm dying inside; I need you in order to survive. Please," She shook her head as if to say, "It's not worth it."
"Please, I'm not asking you to marry me or fall madly in love with me again. I only want a chance, because I've discovered life means nothing without you in it. I only want a chance to win back your trust."
Her eyes looked at me intently and I was getting ready to go drop to my knees and beg her to let me prove I was worth the risk. Instead though, before I could even register a change in her expression, her lips were on mine, frantic with need and lust.
I was a goner, everything in my head flew out as fireworks shot across my vision and my hands tangled in her hair. Our bodies pressed against each other, fitting perfectly as if we were made for one another. Soon our tongues swirled with the each others and I moaned embarrassingly loud at the taste of her. She tasted like strawberries, sunshine, champagne and pure...Bella.
I was growing hard as we grappled onto each other, our mouths fighting for dominance. I couldn't help it, it was the effect she had on me and I knew she had to notice it by now, it was rubbing against her belly. Her moans grew louder as well and I fought hard to regain my control and not hump her like some crazed animal.
Then Bella damaged my control significantly. "Bedroom Edward," she ordered in a breathy and lust filled voice. She wanted to have sex? Already?
"Are you sure Bella? We're going really fast." I questioned, since I wanted our relationship to work and I thought if we rushed into sex, it would complicate everything.
"Do you want me or not?" she asked boldly, as her lips trailed down my throat, sucking on my Adam's apple and making me whimper with need.
How could she even ask that? I had never wanted anyone so much in my entire life. So many times tonight I had been close to putting her over my shoulder and dragging her away so I could ravish her.
It was hard to think straight when she was doing naughty things to me and so my answer didn't come out as smooth as I would've hoped it would sound. "Of course I do...i-it's just...I want to do right by you."
Bella didn't seem to like my answer, and part of me didn't either. "I'm telling you; take me!" She ordered in the sexiest voice I'd ever heard. With her words, my control vanished and something took over me.
I swept her up in my arms, her legs wrapped around my waist as I claimed her lips again in this all-consuming need for her. She licked, nipped and kissed my neck, lips and everywhere she could reach as I carried her to her room. I struggled to open the door when what I really wanted to do was slam her against the wall and have my way with her.
But Bella deserves to be worshiped and that's what I'm going to do...
When I finally manage to get the door open, and us inside, I discovered the bed was too far away so for the time being we'd have to make do with the wall.
"I love you so much, I always have," I managed to breath out, in a husky voice as I suckled on the tops of her creamy breasts, delighting in the moans she made and how her body responded to me. I stripped off some of my layers, my shirt and jacket, wanting to feel my skin pressed against Bella's as soon as I could. My fingers had a mind of their own as they undid the zipper on her dress. The second my lips were not on hers, she stood up and let her dress fall to the floor, leaving her in nothing but a pair of lace panties and fuck-me heels.
So beautiful...
Since the day I had woken her up, I'd been dreaming about all the dirty things I could do to her and now I had her, naked and alone in a bedroom, I was going to take advantage of it.
Picking her up again so her legs were wrapped around me, I took her nipple into my mouth and nipped, sucked and licked to my heart's content. Her heated center rubbed against my abs and I groaned at the thoughts of what was to come.
When I turned my attention to her other nipple and bit down, Bella decided she'd had enough of my torture. "Edward, please..." she begged and I flew over to the bed, collapsing on top of her; my erection pressed against her warm center. Why do I still have my pants on...?
"Off," Bella ordered, reading my thoughts. She definitely didn't need to tell me twice. They were gone in a heartbeat and my cock stood tall and proud between us. For a moment I was worried I'd have an episode during sex with Bella, but then I remembered how safe I felt with her and how she made everything better.
I bent down, running my hands up the length of her thighs until I had a hold on the fabric on her hips. "Can I take them off?" I asked, wanting to make sure I had her full permission before I did anything.
She nodded and lifted her hips to allow me to remove her panties. The last barrier was gone between us and soon I would be back to where I belonged; united with the woman I loved. She started to remove her shoes next, but I stalled her hands before she could do anything. "No, the shoes stay on."
She didn't seem to mind.
I kissed her with wild abandon, thanking her yet again for giving me the honor of being with her, as I then positioned myself at her entrance. I was about to plunge myself into her when sense came rushing into my head.
"Protection?" I asked, since an unplanned pregnancy was not a good way to start a relationship.
"Bottom right drawer," she rasped and I raised an eyebrow, knowing the condoms were complimentary but wanting see that beautiful blush spread down her body. Sure enough, she flushed, her cheeks and chest glowing a light scarlet. "They're complimentary, you have some too."
I started to chuckle but stopped dead when she yanked the foil wrapper out of my hand. She had the cutest look of concentration on her face as she took the foil in her mouth and ripped it, pulling the contents out.
Her hand grasped my erection and I gasped at her touch. I was really aroused, so I knew I had to take my time once I got inside her or I wasn't going to last. She gently rolled the condom down the length of my cock and I instinctively bucked into her hand. It had been a long time...I couldn't help it...
Suddenly, it hit me. This was it. I was about to make love to Bella. Nothing was stopping me, I'd done the impossible; we were going to be together again.
"You're sure?" I managed to choke out, my body needing her desperately to say yes but my everything else wanting her to say no, to tell me this wasn't only about sex; that she wanted me.
"Yes," she replied and it was bittersweet. She needed me on some level but not truly on the level I wanted her.
Still, this was a stepping stone. The physical could add to the love aspect of our relationship and I would take anything she was willing to give to me.
"I love you," I whispered, so low I'm not even sure she heard me, before I pushed into her.
Her warmth and wetness enveloped me and I groaned, pushing myself as deep into her as I could go. I kissed every surface of her body within my reach. Wanting her to feel how much I needed her in every move and touch of my body. I pulled out slowly and then, a long groan tore from my chest as I pushed back, her hips meeting mine and creating the most delicious friction.
My body urged me to take her faster, pound into her with all my strength and ravish her until she milked me dry. But Bella deserved so much more, so I kept my pace slow and steady, also trying to savor this long awaited moment.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked breathlessly.
I barely understood what she was saying, the feeling of being in her was making it hard to think, let alone form a coherent sentence.
"I want to savor it...ahh...I don't want... fuck...this to end." I answered through gritted teeth as I let my head fall into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent as I took her body.
It was getting to be too much for me to take and although I wanted it to last forever, I was going to cum soon. I needed to pick up the pace if I was going to bring Bella to completion with me.
My thrusts became faster, Bella's moans louder and I could tell she was close. Her arm began to snake down her body, coming down to where we were joined and I hissed. I wanted to be the one to get her off; she would get off with my body alone...
I pinned her hands above her head as I continued to pound into her tight channel. "I'll make you cum, only me." I ground out.
"I need it," she begged but I didn't budge, instead I picked up the pace, thrusting so hard I was sure we were going to break the headboard. I could feel my orgasm building in me and I knew I didn't have long left, so hearing Bella scream, "Oh...yes Edward...so close..." was like telling a child you'd just bought a toy store.
Finally I gave into my urges to take her with all I had. I picked up her legs, wrapped them around my waist and plunged relentlessly into her tight, velvety heat. I could feel the moisture from her pussy dripping onto my thighs. I was so deep inside her that I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling back into my head with each movement of my hips.
I wanted to make this perfect for her. To show her that Jacob could never make her feel the way I would make her feel.
"Only I will ever make you feel like this," I growled, the dominant and possessive side of me taking over. Bella seemed to like it, because I could feel her body tremble and begin to tighten around me. "Come for me Bella, come on my cock."
Her tight channel squeezed around me as she convulsed with pleasure. I gave in to the tightening in my groin, roaring her name as I went over the edge. Stars shot around me as everything I had spilled out of me and into the condom.
I had never before felt such intense pleasure and I was literally gasping for air when it was over. I fell limp on Bella, trying desperately to keep as much of my weight off her as possible, but it was hard when I was barely in control of my body.
When my limbs didn't feel like jell-O and I was able to move, I removed the condom, tying it in a knot and throwing it into the garbage, before I pulled Bella into my arms and then onto my chest.
Her breathing was still crazy and her heart was flying like a humming bird's wings. I figured singing was a good way to get her to sleep. I decided on James Blunt's song; High.
"Beautiful dawn,
lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see,
with you.
Beautiful dawn,
I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man,
in endless night.
But now I'm high,
running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me."
She was asleep in a matter of minutes. My singing always seemed to lull Bella into a peaceful slumber, and I was more than willing to sing all night long if it made her happy.
I couldn't seem to stop touching her as she slept. She looked so perfect. My hands combed through her chocolate curls as I sang, and my mouth only closed when it was to place a soft kiss on her beautiful face.
It was hard to believe she was here in my arms again.
"Forever's not long enough, Bella."
Deep, Edward...reeeal deep.
Any who, how's life been treating you since I last spoke to you? It feels like ages, doesn't it? Well this was just my donation to Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes. I thought I'd share it with you now that I'm allowed post it. Hope you liked it.
The Bella and Edward outtakes are going to be the next things posted so keep an eye out for them.
Don't forget to vote for I Hope She Was Worth It in the iSparkle awards. Voting closes May 11th so please throw a vote our way.
Thanks to Dee for beta-ing this yet again... (the woman is simply amazing)
Don't forget to leave a review and please keep an eye out for my new story coming soon; The Chick with the Striped Socks...
~ Casey