A/N: Hello everyone! Quick message to warn you all that I will be on vacation next week, so I am not sure if I will be able to update the fic before the end of the month. With any luck I'll have a chapter ready before I leave this week-end, but no promises :)
Thank you all for reading and for the fav/follow! And also a huge thank you to my lovely beta-reader, AdventurousDreamer for taking the time to correct all my mistakes and for giving me her precious advices!
Cullen looks down, he is in full Templar armor, the magical walls of his prison undulate in front of him. He is back there again, at Kinloch Hold, when the circle fell. He is kneeling, praying, words of the Chant of Light are pouring from his lips. How many days did he spend like that? How many weeks? He can never remember.
"Look at what I have found."
The voice surrounds him, light, tempting, like a heady song. Cullen doesn't want to look but his eyes lift up anyway. He already knows what he is going to see, what he is supposed to see, one of his friends, brothers in arms, ready to be slaughtered before his eyes. He doesn't want to see but he can't help it. His eyes go up and his heart stops.
"Isn't she gorgeous?"
Alexis is before him, her hands tied behind her back, the demon holding her tightly.
"Let her go! Or I swear to the Maker I will…"
"You will what? You can't do anything Cullen. You're in my power and now so is the woman you love."
The desire demon closes her hand around Alexis' throat and she groans in pain as its fingers dig into her skin.
"Don't touch her!" Cullen pounces only to be stopped by the magical barrier.
"Oh but she is so… tempting! So beautiful, so powerful and she is a mage!"
"Get your hands off her demon!" Cullen lashes out one more time.
"He is so sweet, don't you think? Trying to protect you when he cannot?" The demon says to Alexis. "He wishes he could, but it's not possible. You're out there, facing danger every day. You are the nemesis of an ancient evil. You cannot win this, you're just a mortal. And you… Cullen, cannot save her!"
The fingers around Alexis' throat become talons and they rip her skin apart, opening wide and deep gashes. Blood spills profusely from the wounds and her cry of agony dies on her lips as she gasps desperately for air. The demon let her fall to the ground and Cullen screams, he pounds his fists to the walls of his prison in despair. The demon kneels beside Alexis, running a clawed hand on her cheeks.
"He can't save you, but I can. You just need to… let me IN!"
Cullen awoke in a cry. His breathing was ragged and he was covered in sweat. He quickly detangled his limbs from the sheets. It seems like he was trashing in his sleep. The room was still cast in darkness, the hole in his roof only letting in the shallow light of an early morning. He still had hours ahead of him, before any duty called out to him but he knew sleep was no longer an option. He wouldn't find rest, not after what he just saw in his nightmare, not when fear was still clenching his gut so tightly.
He refused to let himself think about what was happening just before he woke up. He refused to be dragged down that path. Yes, Alexis was a mage, she could become possessed, like any other mage. Cullen reminded himself that she wasn't just any other mage. Demons prayed on weakness, on fear, or were lured by malevolent people. Alexis was none of that. Sure she had weaknesses but her will was strong. No demon could fool her. To be honest Cullen didn't feared she could be possessed, he never had been. His broken mind was only trying to find new ways to torture him. And the worst part was that it was working. He cared for her, more than he was ready to admit, and their fledgling relationship already felt like the most important thing in his life aside from the Inquisition.
He quickly wiped the sweat of his brows and donned a light training outfit. Morning exercises would help clear his head. He left his armor on the rack along with his cloak. He didn't need them. He didn't want them right now. Later he would put them on, vesting himself in the mantle of the Commander and hiding all the cracks and all the scars behind the mask. Right now he couldn't bear that weight, he wanted to be just himself, even if it was for a few hours.
Not even taking the time to tame his hair, he climbed down his loft and headed for the training ground.
After a good hour of intense workout the lingering memories of his nightmare had disappeared. The thoughts swirling in his mind gave way to a quiet and deep concentration. His senses were honed by his focus, impervious to everything that wasn't here and now. He was practicing close combat moves, repeating them tirelessly, his hands and arms hitting the training dummy specially created for these kinds of exercises. He felt, more than he heard, someone approaching. He needn't to turn to know it was her. He was expecting her to come at some point. It could have been anyone else. Yet he knew. Perhaps it was the sound of her light footsteps, or the small whiff of her scent brought by the light morning breeze. Perhaps it was the feel of her burning stare on his shirtless back.
Cullen quickly finished his last series of movements and turned around. A smile crept up his lips the moment he saw her. Her eyes were still laden with sleep, as if she had just woken up a few moments ago, her braid was messy with lots of flyaways. She was lovely and adorable and far from the perfect image of the Inquisitor. She was only Alexis, his Alexis, he thought, a bit possessively.
"Morning." She said as he walked towards her. "Didn't mean to interrupt you."
"Morning. And you can interrupt me anytime. If you I don't mind."
Cullen was covered in a thin layer of sweat from his hour of training, so, despite how much he wanted to draw her in his arms, he only leaned towards her and laid a tender kiss on her lips. She responded with the same softness, her mouth curving upwards with a small smile.
"Did you sleep well?"
She asked as they parted, and Cullen took a small step back, keenly aware that, despite the early hour, people could cross the courtyard at any moment.
"Well enough." He responded in all honesty. He was used to dealing with the nightmares, and seeing her alive and well was enough of a cure to the haunting image of her body bathed in blood. "And you?"
"I wouldn't mind to sleep for a couple more hours. But I woke up with a headache, drank too much last night I guess. So I thought that early training might help! Besides, I told you yesterday I would come. I have to admit that the view is far better here. And you should see the one I have from my quarters, that says something!" She grinned, her eyes shamelessly roaming up Cullen's bare chest.
Cullen laughed, running a hand through his tousled hair. Her light teasing felt different to him now that they had acknowledged their feelings for each other. It didn't prevent the blush that rose to his cheeks, but there was no longer any uncertainty, or the need to wonder why she was flirting with him. He could just enjoy the compliments and smile at the mischief in her eyes.
"Sure you're not still a bit drunk?"
"Don't know. I just climbed out of bed minutes ago and didn't have my morning tea, so until then, my mouth basically has a will of its own."
"Then I suppose I should thank her for what she just said about the view."
Cullen laid his hand on her neck and jaw and, closing the small distance between them, captured her lips. It seemed he was unable to stay away from her, even for the briefest moment. She leaned into his touch deepening their kiss slowly, yet keeping it sweet and tender. Something more out of love than out of lust. For the moment.
"So, how was last night?" He asked, grudgingly letting her go.
Alexis was removing her jacket and she dropped it on a nearby bench before starting to warm up her muscles.
"Urgh…embarrassing. Fun also, but embarrassing."
Cullen gave her a quizzical look and she quickly related the events of the previous evening. How, of all people, Jim was the one who had walked in the tavern, how his friends had asked him about the rumors regarding the Commander and how Bull had tricked her to make sure the man saw her and be able to recognize her.
"As you can imagine, they all teased me mercilessly. And I'm fairly certain I haven't heard the end of it."
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm in for a round too, next time I see them."
"It doesn't…" She had finished warming up and stepped closer to Cullen, stealing him a kiss. "But that just might do the trick."
They shared a smile and went on with their own workout routine. For some very strange reason Alexis had a hard time to stay focused on her exercises. Cullen was very distracting, and his casual look with tousled bed hair was doing nothing to help! Her eyes would always wander to him and roam over his body. He was muscular but in a lean and not too bulky way, as if perfectly carved out of marble. Even the scars marring his skin couldn't dim how appealing and perfect he was to her. She found herself tracing their pattern, three parallel lines on his right forearm, two others on his back, a couple on his abdomen. One, especially, caught her eyes, because looking at it caused her eyes to deviate and trace the line of blond hair going down his navel. And if that wasn't annoying enough there was still the very tempting scar on his lips.
After more than ten years as a Templar and given all the battles Cullen went through, the fact that he hadn't more of them was a testimony to his skills. They suited him, they were an adornment to his skin and they spoke of pride and battles won to Alexis. She wished she could feel the same way about her own. But her scars didn't spoke of a vanquished enemy. They were the embodiment of her weaknesses, a reminder of her failures. Deep down, she was ashamed of them.
She averted her eyes from Cullen. She couldn't help the knot of apprehension that settled in her stomach. Cullen have seen her scars, even so briefly, it was no news to him. But what about the story behind them, what about the day they would become more intimate? The subject was bound to be discussed if their relationship went forward. And she very much wanted for their relationship to grow. She had to admit that it scared her. She was far from being as at ease with that story than she appeared on the outside.
"You seem distracted." Cullen said upon looking at her.
"I just… keep thinking about things." She responded, omitting to say the truth.
"Good or bad?" He asked.
"A bit of both." That much, at least, was true and she said it with a smile.
"If I can help with the bad part, you know you only have to ask."
"I know, but what about you help with the good part?" Saying so, she closed the few steps separating them. She leaned towards him, her lips ghosting over his.
"I suppose I can help with that too."
Cullen pulled her close with one of his arm and captured her teasing lips in a kiss. They were both smiling widely as they broke the kiss completely oblivious of the world around them, wrapped up in the blissful feelings of their newly found relationship.
After a couple of minutes they finally managed to get their minds back on the training at hand. Cullen offered to help Alexis and he guided her through several exercises he usually put his soldiers through. She fared quite well, at least at the beginning. Cullen was pushing her hard, a bit harder than he would with his soldiers. Whatever training she had followed on her own, or with some unknown help, it had been efficient.
Nonetheless, right now, she was beginning to tire. She was covered in sweat and it was becoming harder for her to recover her breath. She was doing sit-ups, Cullen was kneeling in front of her, holding her legs, keeping her feet on the ground.
"Ten more."
"What?" She said, as she finished the last series, breathing hard.
"I know you can do it Trevelyan."
"Urgh… No wonder your soldiers dread when you're the one supervising the drills. You're really not fair Rutherford!" She pushed herself up, gritting her teeth.
"Perhaps, but you like it." He said with a grin.
Alexis leaned back on her hands, and locked her gaze with his, a tired smile playing on her lips.
"Oh believe me, the day you have me all breathless and sweaty before you and you hear me say that 'I liked it' means we have done something else entirely than strengthening exercises."
Cullen's blush was immediate and the meaning of her words slowly downed onto Alexis. She bit her lips, refraining herself from grinning at his reaction. It never ceased to surprised her, how this man, powerful, the leader of a huge army, could easily become flustered and unsure. Depending on the moment he could very well tease her, flirt with her and even act a little brashly, like the other day when he kissed her on the battlements. And moments later, if only a bit taken aback on personal matters, he could be shy and blush adorably.
"Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. " Alexis said quickly, filling the possible awkward silence.
"It's fine. I just didn't expect you to say that. Not that I wouldn't want something to happen…just."
"Cullen. It's alright. It just slipped out of my mouth. No pressure here. As you said yesterday; one day at a time." Cullen nodded and Alexis leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her knees. "And I know I must have already said it but you really look adorable when you blush."
"And I have the feeling you might like to say things to achieve just that."
"Perhaps." She shrugged, smiling at him.
"I see. Well, maybe that day I'll make sure 'like' isn't quite the word you will have in mind."
Cullen's cheeks were still red, but he gave her a roguish smile and it was Alexis' turn to flush. Two could play that game.
"I had no idea you could be a tease, Commander."
Alexis leaned to kiss him and he closed the remaining distance. He parted her lips, invading her mouth with his tongue. Cullen couldn't deny the conversation had placed inappropriate thoughts in his mind. He broke the kiss, staying only inches apart from her.
"I was a Templar, not some cloistered chantry brother. And, as I remember you asking, you already know I never took vows of chastity."
And he captured her lips again. Cullen could feel her yield underneath his gentle assault. But it only lasted a moment. She playfully bit his lips, fighting with him for some kind of dominance. And when he pulled back just a little she slowly ran her tongue along his scar. Cullen groaned, his fingers gripping her calves more tightly.
They parted, breathless and Cullen had to refrain his sudden drive to pull her in his lap, slip his arms tightly around her and kiss her, hard. He looked down at her, her striking blue eyes were now a dark pool of raw desire. He clearly wasn't the only one affected by this very passionate kiss.
Becoming more aware of their surroundings, they both took time to catch their breath and place some distance between them. They were in a rather public space. Even if the day was still young and if nobody had passed by yet, that could change any minute now.
As if meant to serve as a final warning, steps echoed in the courtyard, quickly approaching. Cullen and Alexis only got the time to completely break apart from each other before a tall and slim figure came into view, casting shadows over them.
"Good morning Cassandra." Alexis said, acting normal, taking her time to rise to her feet, giving the Seeker a friendly smile. Cullen followed with a Morning that didn't sound as casual as hers, despite his attempt at looking as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened.
"Good morning to you two. You are up awfully early." She said, looking at Alexis.
"Had a rough night. I needed to train to clear my head. By the way, that drink that Bull likes so much? If he tries to have you drink it, refuse, immediately! Running away is even an option."
"I shall keep that in mind."
Cullen was impressed by how easily Alexis could spin her story and avert the Seeker's attention. As if they hadn't been heatedly kissing and holding onto each other moments ago, he swore he couldn't tell something out of the ordinary just happened.
"Well I suppose I should go wash up and eat before this morning's council. Thank you for the help with the training Commander."
She turned to Cullen, smiling to him. It was a friendly smile, one he knew she could give to other people close to her. But it wasn't her smile that caught his attention. It was her eyes. They sparked with longing desire and tenderness. This smile, it could be given to others. But her gaze, it was his and his only. A warm and strange feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, a light flutter. It made it hard for him to keep a straight face in front of Cassandra and not break into a huge smile.
"It was a pleasure, Inquisitor."
Cullen bowed his head to her and when he caught the impish glint in her eyes he was certain she understood the innuendo. He watched her as she went to pick up her jacket and couldn't help his eyes but to linger on her a while longer as she made her way towards the keep.
"I know this isn't my business Cullen, but you and the Inquisitor might want to choose more private locations for your displays of…affection."
Cullen looked, dumbfounded, at Cassandra, his mouth bobbing open and close before he could finally find his words.
"How did you… and how do you know there is something between the Inquisitor and I?"
"I'm a Seeker Cullen… I see things, even when people wish them to stay hidden. Besides, rumors spread fast. When I heard you have been seen with a woman, it didn't take me much time to put two and two together. You've had feelings for Trevelyan for months now, and she for you. It was rather obvious whom you were with. As for today, I may have not seen exactly what the both of you were doing right there on the ground, and Alexis may be good at talking her way out of situation, but it doesn't make a blush or dilated pupils disappear!"
Cassandra arched her brow at him, crossing her arms over her chest but Cullen could see a tiny smile tugging a corner of her lips. Nonetheless he was feeling embarrassed and he took a few steps away from her to grab and put on his shirt, hiding his uneasiness from her. Cassandra had become a trusted and good friend. He was feeling bad that she caught him in trying to hide something from her.
"Of course you would know. And you're right, it won't happen again." He said, looking at her with hints of regret for his actions.
"You know, I begin to believe that Dorian is right about you, you really are hopeless with women. I wasn't trying to imply nothing of the sort should happen, Cullen. If anything, I'm happy for you and Trevelyan, you both deserve to be happy. And Maker, it will certainly be better for everyone around you now that you finally have realized you like each other! All I am saying is that… you two should be careful."
"We will. I guess we were just… caught up in the moment." Cullen said, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.
Cassandra grinned more visibly this time.
"Sure you were. After all this time dancing around each other, who wouldn't be! But next time, use her quarters to get 'caught up in the moment'! Not yours, with all those doors and that hole in the roof you don't want to have fixed, I'm not certain it would be better than here."
Cullen had never know Cassandra to make innuendos, had she just make one here? He wondered. He watched, puzzled, as she strolled down to the dummy and went about her own training routine.
Alone with a myriad of thoughts, he made his way to his tower. If Cassandra knew, no way Leliana and Josephine hadn't heard of it. This day, which had started in the most pleasant way with Alexis, would probably become a very trying and long one. Why had the Maker decided to surround him by cunning and impish woman like them? He would never hear the end of their teasing.