NOTE: I do not own or have rights to Twilight or its characters. The material is the intellectual property of its creator.

Chapter 38

Carlisle:

I woke as I usually did; before the sun. The house was cold in spite of the generator running off and on through out the night to provide some heat. Aro had it on a timer so that it ran for a set number of hours and then shut off. This was in an effort to conserve fuel as Georgia Power estimated that it could be ten days before electric service was restored. Nearly two thirds of their customers in the Metro were currently in the dark.

Esme and I sat up quite late after the children drifted off to bed. We talked for hours about the situation; both the children's concerns regarding us as a couple as well as our own mishandling of the entire affair. We should have been more open with them from the beginning. However, Esme did make a valid point when she insisted that our relationship had all but blindsided the two of us as well.

"It all happened so fast, Carlisle," I remembered her saying.

She was correct, of course. I'd gone from avoiding Esme like the plague because I felt ashamed of the attraction that I had for her, to being in a deliberate and unapologetic romantic relationship with her. This change had occurred in the span of only a few short weeks. Still, I should have said something to my sons … at least mentioned her name in casual conversation. Instead, however, they received their first notice of our involvement as Esme and I exchanged a very public declaration of love at the Thanksgiving dinner table. In hind sight, I suppose I couldn't very well blame them for being upset.

"And then, of course, there was your behavior," I reminded myself aloud as I lit the candle beside my bed.

I hadn't exactly handled the children's little intervention very well either … or at least that was Esme's observation.

"Can I say something without upsetting you," I remember her asking hesitantly. I found myself shock that she would feel the need to qualify her remarks by asking such a thing.

"Esme, you can tell me anything … surly you know that."

"When it comes to you and me, maybe," she sighed. I took note of the troubled expression on her face, and I remembered feeling very nervous at that moment as I feared she might be about to give our relationship the sack over the children's protests.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, because God knows I'm not a perfect parent myself, but," she continued quietly, "Carlisle, are you always so … stiff … when you deal with your kids?"

"I wasn't trying to be harsh with them, my love … I understand that this is a huge shock for all of them, and ..."

"No, that's not what I mean," she interrupted me. I quickly realized that she wasn't correcting me; rather, she seemed to be correcting herself. "Aloof … that's the word I think I want, not stiff. Are you always so aloof? When you spoke to the kids, it seemed almost as if you were stuck in doctor mode instead of shifting to father mode."

Stuck in doctor mode, I sighed as I picked up the candle and crossed the bedroom towards the door. How often had my sons complained about that to me? Even Rebecca had pointed out my tendency to deal with life's difficulties in the guise of Dr. Carlisle Cullen MD rather than tackle them as simply Carlisle, a husband and father. In my defense, doctor mode made things easier … it allowed me to put a comfortable cushion of distance between my emotional self and the problem at hand.

"Right now they need to see your vulnerability … your fallible human side … not the well reasoned and logical doctor," she sighed. "You're not presenting scientific research to your peers or trying to win some philosophical debate … you're trying to explain our relationship to six frightened teenagers."

I stood before the bathroom door, just across the hall from her room, as her words echoed through the corridors of my mind. She was right, of course. It was strange that I could be so compassionate with my patients and then come home and be so distant with the people that I cared about the most … my own family.

"I will try Esme," I muttered earnestly, "I will try."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The adults sat huddled around the kitchen table talking and sipping after breakfast coffee. It was a sort of impromptu strategy session to plan the course of the days ahead. Today was only Friday, and the weather wasn't expected to warm significantly until late Sunday. This meant at least two more full days and nights in the deep freeze with no electricity. Additionally, it meant that the roads beyond Aro's front gate would remain buried under seven inches of snow and a little over an inch of ice; utterly impassible for the foreseeable future. Our four families were stuck in one house until the winter wonderland that held Atlanta in its chilling grip began to thaw.

We were beginning to to discuss the generator fuel situation when the gaggle of teens under our collective charge washed into the kitchen. Alec was at their lead holding a sled I remembered him having back in Chicago; I hadn't laid eyes on that thing in years.

"The snow stopped last night," Alec began nervously, "can we go out and play in it Dad?"

That was it you see, it snowed so rarely in the Deep South that every child of every age from toddler to venerated elder sought the opportunity to frolic in the fluffy white powder. The last time this sort of weather event happened the emergency department was inundated by two things; a huge spike in the number of motor vehicle crashes due to black ice on the roads and a surge in 'slip and fall' accidents with various fractures to go along with them. I was skeptical about letting the children go outside, but keeping them cooped up in the house might prove volatile.

"I suppose it would be alright," Aro answered thoughtfully. "But I can only speak for Alec and Jane. The rest of you must have permission from your respective parents."

Mike and Jessica conferred quietly for a moment before Mike answered, "Seth and Leah can go out, but dress warm and be careful." Then he chuckled, "Hell, I might even come out and join you later … it's been ages since I last played in the snow."

"You girls be careful," Esme warned, "stay in the grassy areas where it won't be so icy."

My boys looked with pleading in my direction. I sighed heavily before giving in, "Alright, but as everyone else has cautioned … please be careful …" before I could say more the hoard of teens stampeded from the kitchen and out into the frozen world beyond the kitchen doors.

"Why don't you let me have a look at this generator of yours Aro," Mike offered as he stood, "I used to do some general contracting back in Ohio before I started my architecture firm here in Atlanta. I know a thing or two about diesel generators; maybe we can find a way to make this puppy give us more bang for our buck."

"If by that you mean that it is possible to make the contraption run longer on our fuel reserves," he replied, "then by all means, let me show it to you. I suggest you grab a coat, the generator is in a building separate from the house."

Aro and Mike disappeared muttering to each other about generators and operating specifications. The rest of us returned to more casual conversation. A short time later, Jessica excused herself and then returned after a brief absence carrying a Scrabble box.

"The kids aren't the only ones in need of distraction," she insisted as she laid out the game board.

"I do not play," Sulpicia sighed, "my English is not so good. But I will keep score … if you like."

We settled into a game with Sulpicia keeping score. It quickly became evident that our game of Scrabble was shaping up to be a friendly battle of the sexes. To my dismay, Esme and Jessica seemed to be ganging up against me. Every time I flashed her a mock pout, she would grin triumphantly at me. I was hurt and utterly enchanted at the same time … Esme was a master seductress without even being aware of it. The game continued to heat up and I found myself struggling against their combined female intellect; only my knowledge of medical terminology afforded me a competitive score.

"Dr. Cullen," I heard a voice faintly calling my name. My attention turned to the back door just in time for Seth to come bursting through it. "Dr. Cullen … come quick," he panted as he leaned against the door jam, "its … Bella … she fell and hurt herself … she's bleeding."

I exploded from my chair and bolted out the door behind Seth. We raced across the snow covered yard and up to the top of a small hill … at the top; the other teens were gathered in a loose circle. As Seth and I approached, the group parted and I found Bella seated in the snow. Edward was beside her; he'd wrapped her left hand in his scarf and was applying pressure to the area.

"I can't get it to stop," he groaned helplessly.

"That's alright son," I soothed as I knelt beside Bella, "you did everything I taught you," I looked up and smiled warmly at him … father mode, not doctor mode, I reminded myself as I spoke, "I'm proud of you.

"What happened," I asked as I switched from Carlisle the father to Dr. Cullen.

"Bella had one of her signature klutzy moments," Rose sneered.

"Rose," I spoke her name in a gentle but firm tone, "this isn't the time for that."

"I was playing with the others," Bella answered in a ragged voice, "we were having a snow ball fight. I guess my shoe lace came undone and I didn't notice … I tripped and fell … I caught myself before going face first into the snow. My hand hit something … something sharp," she paused and took a moment to gather herself again. "it hurt so bad … and there's so much blood."

In my experience, even a small superficial cut could bleed quite profusely. On the other hand, a relatively small amount of blood could appear like a sea of crimson to a frantic patient. I would need to assess the injury myself … but not out here in the cold.

"Let's get you inside," I soothed as I slid my hands under her to pick her up, "I can get a better look at your hand then."

I lifter her into my arms and began the treacherous journey back across the snow covered yard.

"She's right you know," Bella muttered against my chest.

"Who's right about what?"

"Rose," she replied, "I am a klutz."

"Oh, I doubt that," father mode I reminded myself as I spoke, "you're just going through an awkward stage. I went through one when I was about your age … it passes."

"But you're so … put together and in control," she muttered, "I can't image you ever being awkward."

"Bella, I don't wear long sleeve shirts and long pants just because I'm a physician and it looks professional," I insisted kindly, "the scars on my arms and legs from all the times that I fell in my youth make me look as if I've been through a war zone."

A faint smile curled Bella's lips causing a sudden surge of joy to course through me. Aro always told me that raising boys differed drastically from raising girls, with the later being more of a challenge sometimes for fathers. But I managed to do something right … I comforted …

"Bella," Esme's panic filled voice pulled me from my triumph. As she approached, I could see the look of horror on my beloved's face. "What happened … is she ok?"

"She fell and cut her hand," I started with what I knew, "and I won't know the extent of the damage until we get inside."

I carried Bella in through the double French doors that led into the kitchen. Aro was there waiting for me, he had a large red EMS duffel bag bursting at the seams with supplies; I didn't want to consider where he had acquired it … or for that matter, why? Someone had thoughtfully placed a chair and a stool to face the big bay windows so that I had ample light to work by. I deposited Bella gently in the chair before settling myself on the stool. Esme instantly took up residence behind her daughter, placing her hands reassuringly on the girl's shoulders. Edward found a place at Bella's right elbow. I considered telling him that he was in the way and ought to move, but thought better of it when I saw the cow eyes the pair of them exchanged. Ask later, I told myself as I turned my attention back to Bella.

"Are her shots up to date," I asked Esme in a clinical tone, "in particular, her Tetanus shot?"

She nodded and I noted the paleness of her complexion; concern for her daughter radiated off her in waves. Bella wasn't much calmer, she was trembling with fear. I took a deep breath and tried to remember our conversation from last night; this time however, in spite of the professional nature of the situation, I couldn't retreat into the comfortable guise of Dr. Cullen. Both Bella and her mother needed my skills as a physician as well as my compassion as Carlisle the kind and gentle.

I decided to start with Bella, since I would be treating her, "Easy, sweetheart … calm down," I cooed as I caught her gaze and held it, "I'm going to take good care of you … alright."

She nodded but continued to tremble. What was I doing wrong I wondered. Outside, as we walked towards the house, she seemed to be fine with me … but now, she looked at me as if I was the devil incarnate and I'd come to eat her alive.

"She's afraid of doctors," Alice supplied for her stricken sister, "and needles … and she faints at the sight of her own blood."

"She nearly passed out Dad," Edward offered to validate Alice's account, "she was as pale as death until I wrapped her hand with my scarf."

"Is this true Bella?" I was more than a little hurt by the notion that she might fear me. "Are you afraid of me sweetheart?"

Her expression went from mortified to startled, "Not of you … exactly," she managed to croak, "you seem like a nice man … Edward says your very kind and you're a really good doctor … and … and …"

"Shhh … there, there now." I quieted her, she was becoming more agitated and that wasn't what I wanted. "Everything will be fine, Bella, just relax."

I felt a sense of urgency with regard to treating her hand, but at the same time I was hesitant to rush the moment; this could be my one opportunity to win Bella's trust ... or to lose it, depending on how I handled things.

"It's silly and I shouldn't be afraid," she dismissed her feelings shyly.

"It isn't silly Bella, your feelings are your own and you're entitled to them … never let anyone shame you for the way you feel."

She smiled at me then, all be it faintly, and my heart soared; I was connecting with her. But unfortunately, I now had to get down to the business treating her hand and I hoped it wouldn't undo everything I just accomplished.

"Alright sweetheart," I sighed as I considered how best to proceed. "I need to have a look at your hand now." I was crushed when she instantly began trembling again.

Patients who feared doctors could prove challenging … but in my experience, their fear usually steamed from either a traumatic encounter with someone in the healthcare profession or from a sense of not being in control … or, in the worst cases, both. I was going to bank on the later reason to explain Bella's fear.

"Sweetheart, calm down … calm down," I soothed, "I understand and respect your feelings, but I need to do something about your hand." I watched her for a moment as she took several deep calming breaths in an effort to get a handle on her emotions. When she seemed more settled, I decided to try a somewhat unorthodox approach, "I truly want to help you Bella … but in order to do that you are going to have to help me."

"What," She surfaced from the tide of her fear to scowl at me in confusion. I had her attention.

"You're not afraid of me, personally, right," I inquired calmly, she nodded her agreement. "But you are afraid of having your hand treated … correct," she nodded again. "What can I do to make that better … what steps can I take to make treatment easier for you and lessen your fear?" If lack of control frightened her, then I would give her back at least a measure of it.

Clearly no one had ever taken the time to ask her this before and she had to think about it. "I … I don't want to see what you're doing … but I don't want to just close my eyes either."

"That's reasonable," I smiled warmly at her as I answered. I found that I had just as many patients who would rather watch a spot on the wall while I treated them as I had ones who watched my every move with intense fascination. It was a matter of personality and preference. "I think I can manage a position that will accommodate that. What else?"

"I don't want it to hurt." Her eyes widened and her respiration increased as she spoke. Clearly pain management was a major issuer for her … and in all honesty, it was hugely important to me as well; I didn't want to hurt her.

"Again, a reasonable expectation," I nodded as I cast my gaze in Aro's direction, "I'm sure Aro has something in that bag of his that will manage your discomfort." I phrased it as a statement, but it was actually a question … I had no idea just what supplies we had on hand.

"Is Isabella allergic to any anesthetics … especially the type commonly used in the dentist's office?" Aro directed the question at Esme. I turned my focus to my beloved and watched as she shook her head in reply. I could still read concern mixed with terror written in her lovely features. Later, when things were quieter, I would have to do something about that.

"What else Bella?"

I watched her glance up at her mother, then right to gaze lovingly into Edward's eyes, and then to the corner where her sisters stood with my reaming two sons. Something was going on between the six of them, but I didn't have time to consider it at the moment.

"I don't want to be alone," she insisted.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you Bella," Edward took her right hand in his as he said this. There was a new fire burning in my son's eyes that I hadn't seen before … was it … love?

"No one has to leave Edward. I can't imagine forcing Bella to endure this all by herself." I assured them both. "Is there anything else sweetheart … anything at all that I can do to make this more bearable for you?"

"No surprises."

I nodded, "I will announce everything before I do it." That was pretty standard for me anyway, but since she made a point of insisting on it, then I would make a point of doing it.

"I guess that's it," she sighed then she added as a new notion struck her, "Oh, I almost forgot … talk to me."

As a young doctor, I'd had trouble with that last one … talking with patients while performing procedures. It took time to master the skill, but I found that it added so much to the quality of care that I could provide. Distractions helped to set my patients at ease in an uneasy environment.

"I think I can manage that," I offered her another smile and hoped that my efforts were giving her the sense of control that would help her fell less afraid. "May I begin now?" I wasn't about to do anything without her express consent. When she nodded I was relieved.

Slowly I turned to reposition myself in such a way that my upper body blocked Bella's view of her injury and anything I might be doing, while still affording me the ability to glance over my shoulder and see her face. "How is this Bella," I asked as I glanced back at her.

"I can't see my hand or what you're doing," a small half smile curled her lips, "it's good."

"Alright," I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm going to begin by unwrapping Edward's scarf from your hand." I glanced at Aro, "gloves please."

A closer inspection of her hand reviled a moderate two inch long laceration running diagonally across her palm near the heel of her hand. Fortunately for her, the edges were cleanly cut and not jagged; this would make for an easier repair and less scaring. The bleeding was mostly subsided by now, but it still oozed some in places. This would be a routine procedure; clean it, suture it, and bandage it. As I angled her hand to catch more light from the window and get a better view, something glistened from inside the wound.

"Aro, can I have a magnifying glass and the fine forceps please?"

"Certainly," he replied.

Behind me I could feel Bella trembling again, she had been rather relaxed as I removed Edwards impromptu dressing from her hand and initiated my assessment. "Relax Bella, everything's fine," I cooed as I continued to inspect her hand, "You're doing an amazing job of being still for me."

"What are … fine forceps?" she asked timidly.

"It's just a fancy name for small tweezers, honey," I soothed as I took the items from Aro, "it's nothing for you to get upset about." I turned my attention to Aro, "could you hold the glass for me?"

"Is there a problem," concern tinted his voice.

"I think there might be a foreign body in the wound."

"A what," Bella stammered from behind me.

I peered through the glass at the object imbedded in her palm, "It looks like you fell on a piece of broken glass," I told her as I probed the wound gently with the forceps, "and there appears to be a shard of it lodged in the wound." I turned to glance over my shoulder at her, "It'll have to come out before I can stitch you up." Fear clouded her features again and her complexion went absolutely ashen.

"Easy Bell," I cooed, "you're going to be fine … I do this sort of thing all the time. I'll get you numbed up and then I'll clean things really good, removed the bit of broken glass, and stitch you up."

"And I won't feel it?"

Aro discreetly passed me the syringe containing the local anesthetic I needed to numb her hand. Bella was so focused on me that she never noticed the exchange. "You won't feel a thing sweetheart … that's a promise."

AN: Sorry for the delay gang, I went on a spur of the moment road trip with my sons last week. We visited my mom for a few days and then hopped over to Texas to see my husband. My oldest son got accepted to graduate school in the town where my husband works. During all this commotion, my laptop got a virus and my sons had to give it a brain wipe. This is the first new document composed and saved on my newly restored computer.

FYI ... I'm not a doctor, so don't dog me out about the medical stuff ... I skipped the actually suturing part for a reason ... but Carlisle says it turned out fine.