I know it has been a few weeks, but I haven't given this up for lost!

Snape: Oh woe is me!

Shut up. Anyway, the fic is once again winding itself down and you'll have to forgive me for the angst in this chapter. I assure you that the next one will be more lighthearted.

Snape: DON'T FORGIVE HER. PELT HER WITH DUNGBOMBS!

You aren't funny.

Snape: E- thinks I am. Look at her. *Points* She's laughing her bum off.

Yes, well, E-'s opinion in the chapter notes does not filter on into the readers.

Snape: She reads this, too.

I know. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS TO SPREAD!

Snape: Who knows? Maybe it's a contact disease? Sort of like Demon Pox?

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DEMON POX! And I own nothing. :)

Marie dusted herself off and straightened her clothing. This was it, she thought as she smiled at the familiar landscape of Munchkinland. This was the last stop on her quest and she'd only been attacked by demons once! "I really do hope that my luck holds up." She said for the second time in only a few hours.

Bubba sniffed the air and grimaced. "Smells like..flowers.." He gave an almighty sneeze which threw his head forward and Marie went sailing through the air only to land on the thatched roof of one of the Munchkins' houses. She blinked dazedly up at him. He sniffled and sneezed again.

"Bless you." She said, then chuckled at the irony of the situation.

"Tanks." He said while holding his nose. She nodded happily and made her way carefully off of the roof so that she did not break the miniature house.

"Well, I suppose we should get to work, eh?" She marched along the Yellow Brick Road humming the same song that she had whilst on her last adventure. "You know," She murmured. "I wonder if anything is going on back at the Castle? It simply doesn't make sense that things have been so quiet for us. They told me it was a life-threatening ordeal."

"Me and you came super close to death before." Reminded the gigantic demon, letting loose another earth-shaking 'Atchoo'!

Marie grinned. "Bless you. You know, next time you should try saying 'Pika' before you sneeze."

"Why?" The demon blew his nose on a scrappy hankie that he'd tucked somewhere.

She laughed and turned to face him. "Because Your Life Is Average!" Then she added. "And so is mine. My life is very, very average."

They went on and on until they came to the Emerald City and asked to see the Wizard. The guard recognized Marie and let them in (albeit reluctantly). Upon entering, they found the wizened Wizard of Oz sitting in the middle of his visiting room playing chess and having tea with the Wicked Witch of the West. "Checkmate! I win!" The green-skinned woman shrieked with glee. "Now..." She said slyly. "Take it off.."

The Wizard sighed deeply and loosened his tie, then threw it to the ground. He was about to take off his jacket, too when he noticed that he had company. He blushed a very deep red. "Well..h-hello."

The Witch smiled gruesomely at her. "Good afternoon, my pretty." She rubbed her hands together. "To what do I owe this wonderful visit that woefully interupts my game of Strip Chess with the Wizard?"

Marie bit her lip and frightening images popped into her head. "You..two..were..pl-playing..Strip Chess?!"

"Yes, and I WON!" The Witch giggled maddeningly. "That means...well...you know." She cackled uncontrollably, holding her sides. "Just wait until Madame Mim hears of this! She'll be anxious to try it out with Merlin, that old codger!"

"Marvelous Mad Madame Mim?" Marie gulped. "Isn't she a bit..insane?"

The Witch glared and huffed. "You're one to talk, Miss Blurt-Out-Whatever-Comes-To-Mind. At least she's tactfully crazy."

Marie smiled benignly. "My apologies."

The Witch nodded. "So, what have you come for, Missy? I haven't got the time to play games." She smirked over at the Wizard, who was shaking his head in shame. "At least, not when I'm already playing one."

"Oh, nothing." Marie said casually. "I was just finishing up my job closing the portals that would have let the Hosts of Hell come barreling through all of the Canons that we visited three years ago." The Witch grew alarmed at hearing this and Marie decided to reel her in. No tact, indeed! "It's a very long story. You wouldn't be interested-"

"No, no, go on." The Witch urged.

"Well, it all started when we were having our third annual get-together celebrating the annihilation of all the Sues from the Canonverse. We were on Captain Jack Sparrow's ship The Black Pearl and poor Gandalf was having trouble with his seasickness. So I tried to give him a hand when the ship pitched particularly hard, causing him to lose hold of his staff and creating a portal which I, unfortunately, fell into."

The Witch shook her head. "Child, you are better at getting yourself into scrapes than that murderous Dorothy."

Marie sighed heavily. "Yes, I know. I've been told that many times by multiple people. May I continue?"

"Of course, I never told you to stop."

Marie went on to explain how she had ended up in an unknown Canon, which was thankfully full of friendly people. Then she went on to tell what vague idea she had of her friends' attempts to find her and how they even called on the help of her old friend Ellie. She didn't have good grasp of what had gone on, only that her friends had found out, quite by accident, that there were forces who were planning to take over the entire Canonverse.

At this news, the Witch became very peeved. "WHAT?! Villains were planning on taking over the entire Canonverse and no one told me?!" She threw a fireball, which ended up setting fire to a poor potted shrub on the other side of the room. Marie said a short eulegy for it in her head as she watched the smoke drift up to the ceiling. Meanwhile, the Witch had become irate. "WHY DO THEY NEVER TELL ME THESE THINGS! AM I A SECOND-RATE VILLAINESS?"

Marie attempted to cut in. "I'm sure that they didn't mean-"

"OF COURSE THEY MEANT IT! I AM A PILLAR OF EVIL! I AM A VILLAIN OF LITURATURE! I AM RIGHT UP THERE WITH CAPTAIN HOOK AND LONG JOHN SILVER! NOT TO MENTION THE RED QUEEN AND MORIARTY!" She seethed and threw another fireball, making the Wizard duck to avoid what was left of his hair being singed off.

"Now, now, don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic?" He admonished meekly after dodging a second flaming round.

She rounded on him. "NO! DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME MELODRAMTIC!" She gritted her teeth, then all of a sudden, her jaw muscles loosened and she stopped yelling and brandishing fire. An eerie smile crept across her lips. "They will pay for overlooking me." She began to pace back and fourth. "I am sure that if they have overlooked me, then surely they will have overlooked some of my colleagues."

"Pardon me, but are you planning on helping us?" Marie asked politely. "Because, if so, there is a favor I'd like to ask."

"Anything, my dear." The Witch said disturbingly sweetly. "Just as long as it has something to do with bringing about my revenge."

"Well.." She hesitated. "It sorta does. You see, there were supposed to be all of these demons chasing me. This job was supposed to be very deadly. However, I've only encountered them once and I got away relatively easy. I'm wondering if they were sent somewhere else for the time being?"

"Do you have any place in particular in mind where they might be?"

Marie licked her lips nervously and nodded. "I think they may be at Castle Perilous."

The Witch considered that for a moment. "That's a very stratigic place to attack. It has permanent portals, over 144,000 of them, set up all over the place. Not to mention the indefinite means to create temporary ones-"

"Such as the Real World." Marie interjected in earnest. "Gandalf can create rings that allow Canon Characters to exist there for an infinite amount of time. If he can do it, then some other magic could certainly try."

"But I thought that all magic from the Canonverse was immediately null and void upon entering The Real World?" The Wizard said worriedly.

Marie shrugged. "I have a theory. Magic in The Real World may be almost extinct, but perhaps there is enough that is leaked into it via the permanent portal as well as the temporary ones that link up to Castle Perilous. That place certainly has enough magic to spare."

The Witch agreed. "That would make some sense. The Castle has been connected to The Real World ever since The Beginning when the Great Beast was transfigured to make up its very walls." She narrowed her eyes at Marie, who simply grinned back at her. "How could someone as scatterbrained as you have come up with something like that?"

Marie raised an eyebrow, something she'd learned from her love/hate relationship with Snape. "Things are not what they appear."

The Wizard sighed and they glanced at him. He ran a hand through his hair before muttering. "C'est la vie. C'est la vie."

"Oui." Marie agreed.

"The bathrooms are straight down the hall, on the left." The Witch said in an attempt to be helpful.

"Um..thanks." Marie replied awkwardly as she winked at the Wizard behind her back. "So, do you think you could help me out?"

The Witch produced a smallish crystal ball from her pocket. She grinned proudly. "It's the newest line, it's at the height of fashion." She turned it over to show the sticker at the bottom

I'm a Belieber in Magic!

Marie swallowed her initial reaction, which was to ask the Witch why she had such terrible taste in music. It's for the sake of the Canonverse, she repeated over and over in her head.

Blissfully unaware of her visitor's inner struggle not to strangle her, she went on. "I've also got one that says 'I run with wolves!' Isn't that amazing?!"

"Yes." Marie forced herself to say. "I'm...very..happy for you."

"Anyway, let's see..Castle Perilous." The Witch tapped the crystal ball several times and different locations came up. All at once Family Guy came up. "Whoops." The Witch tapped it. "That was auto-tuned. Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

"Ahah!" She said triumphantly. "Here we are. I've set it to the Dining Hall. That was the easiest place to start."

Marie stared around down at her oblivious friends. They looked bored to tears while she saw in the corner the reason for her ususually safe journey. "Snape sure is having fun." She giggled and then the vision shifted and she saw a red blur creeping towards the group.

Hatter had jumped up and was pointing at it. In his current state, he had reffered back to his Scottish accent. "Wha' thah 'ell ez tha'?!"

The red blur had gotten thicker over the course of a few seconds and even the demons had become alarmed. They were squirming and howling. Then a voice, one which Marie was sure that her friends could not hear, came from the crystal ball.

~I know you are watching.~ It said in a deep, cavernous voice that echoed in the room.

The Witch had gone pale as she recognized who it was immediately. "The Crimson King!" She exclaimed in horror. "The Ultimate Villain!"

~Do not be foolish. This battle is futile.~ It continued, ignoring her. ~The incompetent minions I have sent forth have been merely to distract you. Even now, I have cornered the Maia.~

Marie felt a deep-seated anger well up within her. What did this Blood-red Baron or whatever the hell he was, think he was doing?! "Are you threatening my friends?"

The voice laughed, a dark, rusty sound which made her think of metal grinding against stone. It made her shudder. ~No, I simply want the Maia. He has the last piece of the puzzle that I need to complete my domination.~

"The rings." She said weakly.

~Yes, the rings. When he made those rings, he had no idea the power that lurked within them. Their potential is infinite! It is the rings that have called me from my home to rise up and claim what I desire!~

"Why is it always world domination with you bad guys?" Marie demanded in an agrivated voice. "I mean, get a new schtick, for goodness sakes! Couldn't you settle for taking over the mall? Or perhaps the fashion industry? You guys would certainly excell at that for all the pomposity and thought that you put into your wardrobe." She did a facepalm. "Honestly!"

~Excuse me? I was trying to explain to you my plan for universal domination? Have you any manners at all?~

"Sorry." She said sheepishly. "Please, continue with your insane little rant."

~Thank you. As I was saying; er...what was I saying?~

"Something about Martha Stuart?" She suggested.

~Oh, yes! I think her towel line is superb. Plus, she has bargain prices on her red cloaks.~

"Do you know if Little Red Riding Hood buys from her?" Inquired Marie.

~You know, I think she does! And have you seen the new spells that are sponsered by Justin Beiber? Oh my gosh, I love his music! 'Baby' really hit home, you know?~

Marie shook her head, but inside she was smiling. If her opponent was a fan of Justin Beiber, then he would ultimately fail. Epicly. She had nothing to worry about. Karma would bring this guy down with ease, just for being so stupid. "Um..sure." She had to hide her smile.

~Well, I have to go! World Domination and all that..taa-taa! Crimson King ooooooouuuttt!~

The Witch was visibly shaking. "My pretty, I believe we are going to need back-up."

"Huh?"

"I've heard things about the Crimson King." She shivered. "Terrible things." She spoke in a whisper. "He once had a /teaparty/ with about fifty people!"

"Yeah..so?"

The Witch glanced around then leaned in and whispered hoarsely. "/There was no tea!/ It was all a lie!" She fell to her knees. "Oh, no one can hope to be as evil as he is, don't you see?!"

"Whatever you say." Marie turned to Bubba who simply shrugged.

"My pretty, we're going to have to go for older Canons." The Witch groaned. "I'm talking Shakespearian and epic poems! Mythology!"

"But that would take too much time!" Marie hissed. "The Crimson King will have annihilated the world by the time we rounded up enough people."

The Witch closed her eyes and rubbed her temples as if she had a headache. "There is a way to summon others..relatively quickly. Your stumbled on it when he brought you here."

"But we would have to get Misto to do it and that would mean going straight to the forefront of the battle! We would lose the advantage of behind-the-scenes warfare!" The Wizard of Oz protested. "It's dangerous!"

"But it would get the job done." The Witch said grimly. She turned to Marie. "Are you willing to fight for your friends?"

"I've done it before." Marie grinned broadly. "I lived through it the first time and I don't see why I shouldn't the second time around. I'm lucky that way."

With that said, she began to create a portal which would take her back to Headquarters and back to her friends who were now, although they did not truly know it, were in deep elephant dung.