If Saying She Wanted him Hadn't Been enough

Goodbye, Kate, he thought as he deleted the file, erasing her from his life once and for all.

Castle heaved a huge sigh. It was over. It was really over. Time to move on.

There was a knock at the door. Curious as to whom it could be, he answered. His polite expression dropped when he saw who it was: Kate Beckett, dripping wet from head-to-toe.

Silently reminding himself to let the doorman know she was no longer welcome, he set about getting rid of her as quickly as possible. She obviously hadn't gotten the message; obviously thought this was like all the other times he'd vowed to walk away only to come back running like a loyal puppy. She didn't get that he wasn't at her beck-and-call any more, that she couldn't just come to him when she needed something.

"Beckett, what do you want?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as cold as possible.

Beckett looked a t him as she never had before; like a blind woman seeing the sun for the first time.

"You," she said plainly, and before it could sink in what she had said, or how confidently she had said it, her lips were on his.

Shocked, he could do nothing but stand there as she assaulted his senses, all warm lips and cold hands and desperate breathing and Kate.

She finally gave him a reprieve, her hands alternating between his face and shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Castle," she whispered, and she sounded so sincere. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

She leant in for another kiss but he was ready this time. He gently but firmly pushed her away, but not before her lips had grazed against his.

She looked simultaneously stung, understanding and quietly determined all at once and it didn't make sense. He needed it to make sense.

"What happened?"

She bowed her head.

"He got away, "she said, looking up, "and I didn't care.

Castle stared down at her.

"I almost died," she told him, "and all I could think about was you." Her voice was low, now, husky as she kept her eyes on his. Eventually they lowered to his mouth.

"I just want you."

Once again, she chased his lips, and once again he rebuffed her, still processing this crazy scenario. It was over. They were over she couldn't just show up looking all hot and rain-soaked, telling him she wanted him and expect him to just forgive and forget. It was too late for that.

She'd made a choice. She wasn't his problem anymore. She didn't really want him. She was just using him. She - was caressing his cheek softly with her fingers.

Shit.

She looked even better in the flash of blue light from the storm.

It took everything he had not to push her against the door and take her right there but - No, no, it was too late.

"Beckett, I'm sorry, I just - can't. You've hurt me too much. I just - "

"You've hurt me, too, Castle. We can move past. Only love can hurt like this." She continued to stroke his face. "I love you, too."

Castle didn't know much, could not comprehend much right now, but one thing he knew was this: she wasn't lying.

The next thing he knew he had her pressed up against the door.

He only gave her a brief moment's warning before he completed the journey to her mouth; she was all too willing to let him, basking in his frenzied kisses as he traced every piece of flesh he could find with his lips, his full, soft, warm lips, pouring every piece of his love into her through his passion, following the sparks of frisson over her skin down to her chest.

He could feel the melted bud of flesh against his lips and without thinking; he undid the sole button on her top. All he knew was he needed to see it, but once he did, it was like he was frozen, staring down at her scar.

That's when everything changed. Beckett took his hand and placed it there, as if telling him it was not only ok, but it was what she wanted. She wanted him to be at peace with what had happened to her, what he had said that day, and that she felt the same way, as she now was at peace with it; wanted to be truly vulnerable and intimate with him in every way, wanted to give herself to him.

As if to cement this idea, she tenderly took hold of his chin and placed a gentle, soothing kiss on his lips, one he returned totally lost in her, in this amazing, complicated yet very simple moment of pure clarity.