They spend the day at the precinct.
She's in the middle of a case, her desk covered with open files and highlighters, and he sits quietly in the chair next to her, a stoic sentinel. She wants to be annoyed with him, with the way he's looking at her, his eyes so gentle, mouth pulled into a soft line of concern, but she can't. Not this year. She'd woken up in his bed that morning, with the reassuring warmth of his body pressed against hers and his fingers stroking through her hair, expecting him to try to talk her out of going to work but he'd just dusted a kiss across her forehead, pushing her toward the shower before padding into the kitchen to start the coffee. They travel to the Twelfth in comfortable silence, his arm stretched across the gap between their seats, fingers tenderly massaging the back of her neck as she fought her way through the throng of morning traffic.
The day passes with little acknowledgment of its significance, just soft nods from the boys when she exits the elevator and a quick phone call from Lanie.
And Castle's quiet but constant presence at her side.
He helps her sift through phone records and financials. Brings her coffee and lunch. Watches as she makes phone calls and confirms alibis. Sits next to her at the cold metal table in the interrogation room whiles she systematically dismantles their suspect, pulling a confession from him in under an hour.
He never asks if she's okay.
It's not the first time she's spent this day in his company but it is the first time she's allowed him to really see her. To see the slow creep of it, the way she starts the day with a firm resolve not to lose herself and then gradually sinks into the emotions, letting them swirl inside her chest until she can't pretend anymore. Until the crack in the wall gives way, splitting her open, leaving her raw and exposed.
She finally breaks on the way home, the tears springing into her eyes with suddenness that knocks her off balance, robbing the air from her lungs like a thief. Castle's hand wraps around her knee and she covers it with her own, gripping his fingers so fiercely that the skin blanches white, his fingernails turning purple. Blinking furiously, she navigates her cruiser into a spot near her building and lets him wrap an arm around her shoulder as they make their way to her apartment, her body leaning heavily into his. The keys rattle in her hand and he reaches over, pulling them gingerly from her grasp and unlocking her door, twisting the sticky lock with practiced ease.
They head straight for her bedroom and Castle pushes her down on the edge of the mattress, sliding her coat down her arms before dropping to a crouch and tugging off her heels. She trades her work clothes for the pajamas he hands her and crawls into the middle of the bed, watching as he strips down to his undershirt and boxers before climbing in next to her. His arms wrap around her back as she curls into him, her ribs hitching with tiny hiccups while she cries herself to sleep.
The sharp trill of her phone startles her into consciousness. Castle grabs it from the nightstand and passes it to her before slipping out of the bed, leaving her to talk to her dad in private. She watches him go, fingers wrapped around the hard plastic case of her phone, heart clenching tightly in her chest.
An array of white cartons decorate the counter when she emerges from the bedroom an hour later, her eyes itchy and swollen. He smiles when she sits at the island and picks up a pair of chopsticks, the smell of the food making her stomach rumble. They eat quietly, passing cartons back and forth until they've had their fill. Castle packs away the food and follows her back into the bedroom, kissing her quickly before disappearing into her bathroom.
Steam billows out when he opens the door again and she watches him cross the room, his wet hair sticking out in all directions. She pulls the covers back for him, rolling on her side as he stretches out next to her.
"Thank you," she whispers, reaching across the tiny distance between them and resting her hand on his cheek.
"You have nothing to thank me for, Kate."
"Yeah, I do. I have so much more to thank you for than you know. " The urge to move over to him, hide her face in his neck, tingles through her limbs but she stays still, thumb brushing lightly against his temple. She wants him to be able to see her face for this. Wants to see his. "My mom loved a good murder mystery. She read them all, anything she could get her hands on. Kept a stack of them next to her bed. Dad and I used to pick on her about it but she just laughed us off and kept reading. I don't really know why she liked them. Never took the time to ask. I want to think it's because justice was always served and the good guys always won in the end but I think that's probably an overly romanticized view of it. More than likely she just liked that they were light reads. Something she could easily lose herself in."
Castle's face is carefully blank as she speaks but his eyes give him away, the sparkle of curiosity flaring in the dim light of the moon.
"My dad moved out of the apartment for a while after she died. He just couldn't take it, being surrounded by her stuff. So it was my job to pack it all up." She shrugs and slides her hand down his arm, twisting her fingers through his. "I donated most of her clothes to charity, packed away the heirlooms and knickknacks. I brought a few things home with me though, including the stack of books on her nightstand. I read them all." She moves closer to him, cradling their joined hands against her chest. "It was the first time I read one of your books. Hell Hath No Fury."
"Kate -"
"I went to the library after I finished," Kate presses on, needing to get it out, "and checked out everything of yours I could find. Spent a month reading them." She meets his eyes, feels her stomach knot at the emotion she finds there. "It got me through, Castle. You got me through."
He tugs her into him, one arm banding across her back, the other wrapping tightly around her shoulder. She lets herself sink into him, the soapy scent of his skin filling her lungs. Castle presses damp lips to her temple, a shaky sigh hanging in his throat.
"Thank you," he breathes, his fingers digging into her shoulder. "Thank you for telling me that."
Kate nods, her nose bumping into his chin. Castle rolls to his back, pulling her along with him until her body is draped halfway across his chest. His arms go slowly slack, his breathing growing deeper, and she drifts easily off to sleep, the steady thump of his heart under her ear.