Sorry for taking too long to update and thank you so much for your reviews from the previous chapter.

37 : WAKING UP

4:36 AM

Nat startled awake and found herself wrapped tightly in Steve's arms her head resting on his chest her own arms wrapped around his torso. He's still here. He didn't leave her.

She hummed happily, feeling relaxed, and safe in his embrace

"Nat…I…You" She heard him murmurs in his sleep. The redhead smiled at how cute he was.

She snuggled closer and inhaled his scent deeply. He was so warm that it radiated safety. She closed her eyes again as exhaustion took her over.

Her Stevie was still here with her.

8:45 AM.

Natasha slowly opened up her eyes before she fully realized that she was waking up to an empty bed. She had woken up because of the cold. Because Steve's warm embrace was gone.

Steve was gone and hadn't left a note.

She didn't panic like she usually did because she knew him. He always came back to her. Maybe he went for his morning run and would bring back breakfast. He always had a little surprise for her whenever he brought her a breakfast in bed.

Sometimes, he gave her a small bouquet of roses. Other times an amazing morning kiss if she didn't want to wake up.

Natasha pulled up the blanket to cover her naked body. She was replaying every beautiful memory they had shared the night before. It was their first time together and Steve had been amazing at everything he had done to her.

She was waiting for him to come back. Her faith was that he would. She had complete faith that he would come back.

He would come back to her. He always did.

6:34 AM.

Steve began to stir due to the numbness in his left shoulder. He didn't open his eyes, assuming it must be an injury from yesterday game. Then last night's memories flashed into his head and he came awake fully.

Everything from last night flooded his mind. Their touches. Their kisses. The sweet words they had whispered to each other. All the pleasure they shared.

He turned his head and saw the familiar fiery red locks. Her familiar scent hit his nose. Her small hand rested on his chest, just above his snowflake pendant. Her silky soft skin pressed tight against his body and it was too much.

All the feelings bombarded him at once, overwhelming his senses and he couldn't handle it.

Steve knew he was freaking out. He couldn't control it. These feelings were too strong and more intense even than what he had felt with Peggy.

This cannot be real. How could he have let this happen?

He couldn't love anyone anymore, WAIT! LOVE?! Noooooooo! This was not real. NOOOO!

Shit! He just slept with Natasha Fucking Romanoff.

He recalled every moment from last night vividly. He was terrified by how intimate and romantic they had been. He gently and quietly untangled himself from her.

No no no! No freaking way!Hell no! This cannot happen again. No way in hell was he going to compromise himself by becoming emotionally attach to a girl!

Panic over took him once he realized, the last sentence he had said to her before he fell asleep. 'Tá grá agam duit'. Oh, Rogers! You are so screwed.

SHIT! He wasn't supposed to let anything like this happened. Love was off limits! He was not supposed to fuck her like he loved her.

You didn't fuck her. You made love to her, Rogers. The thought entered his mind with stunning clarity and he nearly hyperventilated.

NO! I fuck! I DO NOT make love! Once is enough, Rogers! You cannot let this girl compromise you!

He quickly dressed and grabbed his car key.

Have to get out of here now!

"Stevie…." He heard Natasha murmured in her sleep.

He took a deep breath and walked out the door at 7:10 a.m. and never looked back

10:17 AM

Natasha sat quietly on her bed staring at the door, willing Steve's return. It had been almost two hours since she woke up and Steve was nowhere to be found.

Nat felt a tear run down from her eyes. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob in earnest.

Her fear had become reality. He left her to wake up alone. He had promised her that he wouldn't hurt her but he had. He had promised her that he wouldn't leave her but he was nowhere to be found.

How could he do this to her? How could he leave her like this? What had she done wrong?

Natasha had thought everything had been so perfect between them.

So perfect that she had allowed herself to believe that love was real. Had allowed herself to fall in love again.

Come back to me please, Steve, she begged him in her mind. Please, please, please you have to prove me right! You have to prove you really are a changed man. Please come back to me….please.

10:30 AM

Steve drove around aimlessly on an empty stretch of road since leaving Natasha trying to collect his thoughts. It had been three hours, and he hadn't come any closer to figuring out what he was going to do. Finally when his car became to stutter from lack of gas he came back to the university and found Thor and Jane in the living room.

"Woah!" Steve exclaimed when he saw Thor kiss Jane "So you guys get together?"

"Yeah, last night" Jane replied and kissed Thor one more time.

Steve just nodded and looked away awkwardly. Thor could sense that Steve wasn't himself and actually looked like he was on the verge of freaking out.

"What's wrong, my friend?" Thor asked

"Nothing's wrong" Steve replied a little too quickly, raising suspicion.

"Steve, you look like you've seen a ghost" Jane chimed in

"Yeah, well that because I've just seen the fucking biggest ghost of my entire life" with that Steve stormed his way into his room leaving the door open and saying "I don't want to talk about it"

"Uh…I think I will leave you guys alone to this" Jane told Thor

"No, don't let me ruin your happy morning, guys. I'm fine"

Thor and Jane followed Steve into his bed room. The Captain pulled his tank top off and the new couple could clearly see bruises and marks all over his body. It wasn't the typical fight bruises. They could see countless hickeys on his neck and chest, crescent indentions of fingernails on his arms and back, long red scratches from his shoulders to his hips and a set of bite marks on his left shoulder.

They both knew what they were from but they asked anyway.

"What's happened?" Jane asked.

"You look to have had a glorious battle in bed" Thor noted with a salacious grin.

Steve slipped on a white t-shirt, wincing when the fabric contacted with the abrasion on his shoulder.

"I slept with Natasha Romanoff last night" Steve replied with a horrified look in his eyes.

"Oh, I will leave you boys alone to discuss. Nat is my friend too. I shouldn't be here" Jane said

But Thor's grabbed his girlfriend's hand. The Linebacker knew he couldn't handle the confused and panicked Captain on his own.

"Slept like slept…or?"

"I fucked her!"

"And why you are so terrified then?" Jane asked, a little confused by his reaction because she knew that Steve had deep feelings for Nat.

"I don't know. I don't like this feeling. She probably has woken up by now and found I'm not there. She has every right to hate me for the rest of her life"

"A feeling, Steve? You don't like this feeling? It's not just a feeling! You love her!" Thor yelled

"No, I don't!" Steve yelled back before face palming himself. He took a deep breath and sat down on his bed "I don't fall in love, remember?"

"Friend, you need to talk to her"

"No, I can't. I am going to leave her alone and stay the hell away from her."

"You're just panicking, Steve" Jane yelled "You aren't in your right mind now. You're not thinking straight"

"It's better of this way, Jane, Thor. I'm going to hurt her if I don't keep my distance. Fuck, I have already hurt her. She deserves someone better than me."

"Whatever you say brother, just don't hurt yourself."

"We'll leave you alone to do some thinking, okay? If you need anything, we will be right outside"

Steve was confused. He had never felt so much before, it was so overwhelming that he didn't know how to handle it and he didn't like the feeling of not being in control.

He wasn't supposed to feel this much about a girl.

11:00 AM

Natasha finally gave up after waiting three hours for Steve to come back to her. He was gone. He had left her after sex just like she was one of his meaningless conquests.

She got up from her bed and slowly put her clothes on. She tried to avoid any contact with her right shoulder. She looked around the room and found that there was nothing left of him, nothing to even show what they had shared the night before. Then she saw his phone on the floor. She left it there and walked outside her room.

Nat found all of her girls were there except Jane who was probably with Thor. The girls were having a Breaking Bad marathon. They all turned to Natasha and could see how sad she was. Her beautiful green eyes were red and swollen.

"Are you alright, Nat?" Pepper asked and hit the pause button.

Natasha shook her head but didn't reply. Pepper got up from her seat and went to Natasha who looked like she was about to break down again. When Pepper's hand touched her right shoulder, Nat shrieked away in pain and it raised everyone's suspicion.

They sat Natasha down on the couch before standing around her in a half circle. They could see hickeys on her neck and cleavages, and bruises on her arms. Pepper unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse and revealed a bite mark on her right shoulder.

"Who?" Pepper asked.

"Steve"

"Holy shit!" Darcy exclaimed and clasped her hands around her mouth. "You're telling me you bedded the hottest guy on campus"

"You're telling me you let the biggest jerk on the face of the planet sleep with you!" Maria asked.

"He's a god damn womanizer! What the hell were you thinking?" Pepper yelled

"Guys..." Nat tried to calm her friends down "I'm not in the mood for your interrogation right now"

"I cannot believe this" Pepper sighed and turned away

"Where is he now?" Maria questioned

"Gone" Natasha answered soberly

"He always does that with his conquests" Pepper responded coldly

"Did he leave anything?" Maria asked sympathetically

"He forgot his phone" Natasha answered dryly

Darcy ran to Nat's room and grabbed the phone off the floor. She came back and handed it to Natasha. Nat looked at it with empty eyes but didn't do anything until Darcy unlocked the phone. The first thing they saw was the picture of Steve and Natasha kissing on the home screen. Darcy did all the investigation on his phone.

"Guys, I found something" The brunette called.

They all joined in. It was a group chat of Steve and his football friends. Apparently, Steve never deleted any of it. The most recent one was a week ago.

Brock Rumlow: Did you bang her yet?

Simon Williams: I swear to god, Rogers if you don't have her in ten days. I will go after her

Jack Rollins: Tell me you banged her already!

Frank Payne: How was her ass? You take her in that gorgeous ass, right Steve-o

Jack Rollins: If you only want to fuck her, just fuck her, dude.

Jack Rollins: You don't have to pretend to be her boyfriend like this.

Frank Payne: If you are done with her, can I have her next?

"I'm going to kill that fucker!" Darcy roared, obviously angry.

"He's being the jerk he always has been" Maria sighed and patted Nat's back lightly.

"And I was fool enough to think that he had changed" Natasha said bitterly "I was such a fool"

"Romanoff, tell me you were not falling for him" Pepper narrowed her eyes.

Nat didn't reply she just stared at the wall blankly lost to her own heartbreak. Darcy continued to scroll up through the conversation. This part of the conversation was dated back to Nat's birthday.

Brock Rumlow: Heard you threw quite a party last night for that girl.

Brock Rumlow: She means that much to you, dude?

Steve Rogers: She means nothing to me. Nothing. Can we move on to another subject please? I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Brock Rumlow: If you invested in her that much, I assume you already banged her a couple times already.

Steve Rogers: Not yet.

Steve Rogers: But soon.

Steve Rogers: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Tears fell down Natasha's face as she read it. Natasha grabbed his phone and ran into her room and locked herself inside. Letting herself cry out loud.

2.47 PM

Steve locked himself inside his bedroom, mulling over his relationship with Natasha.

He'd had a moment of doubt and feared he might end up being hurt by another girl he cared about. Being hurt the way he had when Peggy left him had left a fear in him that he still had not shaken. Even with Natasha despite everything they had been through; his defensive mechanism didn't allow him to trust her completely. He was afraid he would be badly hurt again.

Even when he was so sure that this time it was real. He couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of fear and doom. During the course of their relationship he had thought he was brave enough to open himself up and let someone in, but, he has been wrong.

It better off this way, he thought to himself. He wasn't capable of love after all. He would end up hurting Natasha sooner or later. It was better if he just let her go now before they got in to deep.

He sucked at relationships anyway, he justified to himself. He would break Natasha's heart. You're better off letting her go to find herself someone better than you, Rogers

Fuck, fuck, fuck…the thought of with someone else…...

God damn it! The thought of someone else touching her, taking her, being with her made him sick.

He needed to talk to her but he wasn't going to talk with Natasha right now when he wasn't in the right state of mind.

Finally Thor and Jane burst into his bedroom. They pulled Steve out of his room by using Steve's favorite pizza as bait. The Captain hadn't eaten anything since he came back to his room.

"Did you sort your problem out, Friend Steven?"

"I'm confused, Thor! I'm freaking confused! I don't know how I feel or how I should act!"

"There is nothing to be confused over, friend. You have deep feelings for Natasha. It is very simple. You should go apologize to her and tell her how much you love her."

"I can't. I just—I don't know that she will forgive me or not"

"You don't know but you have to try, to risk it. Isn't she worth fighting for, Steve?" Jane asked

"She's worth fighting for. But I don't know how, Jane"

He had promised to protect her from anything and everything but one the thing that he forgotten to protect her from was himself.

Jane could see that Steve had already given up on his relationship with Natasha, and was just plain over him feeling sorry for himself. So she did the only thing she could think of, she walked over to him, and slapped his face as hard as she could.

"What the hell was that for?" Steve asked in shock.

"STOP being so childish, Steve! Stop thinking altogether and just go to her room and talk things out….you….you...IDIOT!" She yelled her face bright red, and her breath coming in huffs of indignation.

"Okay, mom" Steve smiled thankful that his friend cared enough to literally slap him up side he head.

Steve got up from his seat and headed out to Natasha's room, hoping she would hear him out. She didn't have to believe him; just listening to him was enough. Steve stood at her door, gathering all of his courage.

"I made a mistake, Pepper" He heard her voice and he stopped his hand in mid knock.

"Just forget about him. He's not worthy of your love anyway, Natasha"

Pepper was right. He was not worthy of her love. He knew he was a mistake and although Natasha's words shattered his heart he knew she was speaking the truth. He would always be a mistake. A mistake, and a disappointment for everyone.

It was better to leave her alone.

Natasha left her room only once. She kept reading the conversation between Steve and his football friends over and over again. She started from the very beginning and found out all the bad things he had ever done to every girl he slept with.

Steve gave out all the explicit details of what he was doing with the girl to his friends. He really was a terrible person. Then she reached the part where they first met.

Steve: Guys! I just met this girl. She's hot and I'm going to bang her.

Frank: Let us check her out first bro.

Jack: Don't you dare call dibs until we see her!

Then Nat found the conversation right after the party he threw the first week of the first semester.

Brock: Did you bang her yet?

Steve: You stupid ass! It's only been two days!

Simon: You losing your touch, Rogers?

Steve: I'm not losing my touch. I'm going to bang that bitch so hard by the end of the month.

Steve: She's new to this place but she got to learn her lesson.

Steve: Never reject the king of the campus. She's nothing but a game for me.

Natasha kept reading and with every sentence her heart broke all the more. After all he had said and done, she was nothing to him but a game, and she was reading the proof of it.

Frank: Whatcha gonna do? You got your next step planned yet?

Steve: I will try to get close to her by being her friend. That's the only way I can get close to her.

Jack: Hope it works, dude.

Steve: It always work! This is me you are talking to.

Steve: I will eventually have her. In every way I want. Mark my words.

[Conversation from his first football game]

Steve: Sorry for bailing on you guys like that. I had to be there with her. Like I said, I have to make her trust me.

Steve: I am so gonna win this bet

Jack: I see you're trying really hard to get into this girl's pants.

Steve: Indeed I am. BTW, did you see how hot she is in my jersey? Really wanna try to fuck her in that.

Simon: Sounds great, man. I'll join in sometime. Like when we did Sharon.

Steve: Yeah. It's gonna be fun but after I turn her into my bitch.

Brock: WHATT? I WANT IN TOOOOO.

Frank: Maybe we all should join you and her, Steve.

Steve: Yeah, youguys should.

Steve: Dibs on her ass.

Nat read every text message he had sent to his friends and couldn't stop the tears from flowing freely down her face. Everybody had been right to warn her, and she had been so naïve to ignore them. How could she have believed him when she was nothing more than a bet to him…a fucking bet…not even a person but an ass for him to call dibs on. A strong shudder of pain racked her, and she threw his phone across the room.

She took a deep cleansing breath, hardening her heart, her green eyes flashing with pain and anger as she stared at the phone now lying on the ground. She had made a mistake, a stupid mistake by letting Steve Rogers into her body, heart and life.

AN:

- Special thanks to my dearest friends, sleeplessinbudapest & internetangie! Thank you for always be there for me and encourage me to write.

- Thank you to my proofreaders, chrwrigh. I couldn't ask for a better proofreader. Hope you feeling better soon :)

- Please kindly leave a review. Your review is the best encouragement for me to keep writing this :)