Phoenix: Chapter Thirty-seven
Squall rolled over and tried to shield his eyes from the blaring sunlight. As his body moved towards the center of the bed, he found that he was not alone. Jane lay on her back, legs tangled in the blankets, and snoring softly. He covered her exposed chest with the sheet and rested on his side, staring at her. He loved the way she looked when she slept, so peaceful. It was hard to imagine that some of the foulest language one could ever hear could come from such an angelic-looking creature. It made him chuckle. He laid his head back down on his pillow and closed his eyes once more.
His mind wandered to the previous night, and how a night of video games had quickly turned into something very wild. All the concerns he had about meeting Raine had melted away that evening, lost in the throes of passion.
Then the reality of the day ahead came crashing down on him, effectively removing any pleasurable thoughts from his brain. He knew that he had to go see her today. He wouldn't be able to go about his everyday life efficiently unless he confronted this whole situation and dealt with it, as Jane said, like a man. He realized he couldn't avoid Raine and Laguna forever, that eventually he would have to see and talk to them both. He also knew that the longer he waited, the worse it would be for all those involved. If he procrastinated because he was brooding, Laguna would eventually begin to pester him again, and the man could be very persistent.
He decided he would go see her, and give it ten minutes. That would be enough time to introduce himself and let her and Laguna say what they would inevitably feel the need to say. Then he could leave and know that he made an effort to meet her. Hopefully that would be enough to get Laguna off his back and give himself more time to figure out just what the hell was going on.
He opened his eyes again at the sound of Jane shifting under the blankets and yawning.
She groaned and pulled the linens up higher around her body, shivering. "Fuck, it's cold in here!" She cracked her eyelids just enough to be able to see.
Squall scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her body. "It's cold because you're naked."
Jane snorted. "Look who's talking." She snuggled in closer, trying to wick some of Squall's body heat away. "What time is it?"
Squall craned his neck to the right, trying to see his beside clock. He scowled when he found the numbers were obscured by a lacy bra. We really had fun last night. He swatted at the undergarment until it fell to the floor. "Six-thirty."
"Too early." Jane yawned again, curling up into a ball. She sighed contentedly. "You gonna go see her today?"
Squall exhaled deeply. "Yeah. I just want to get it over with." He snaked his arm around her waist.
"Well, what are you waiting for? You know Laguna gets up at the crack of dawn just like you do." She poked him in the ribs.
Squall sighed. No use in delaying the inevitable. Besides, the sooner he went, the sooner he could come home. He kissed her softly and rolled over to get out of bed. He sat up and stretched his arms over his head, rocking his neck back and forth in an attempt to work out the night's kinks. He grabbed the bra from the floor and tossed it in Jane's direction "You might need this." He made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
"Yeah? Well you might need some boxers if you're planning on going out." She pulled the blankets over her head.
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Laguna's senses were bombarded by the scent of frying bacon and fresh-brewed coffee. He finished dressing and strolled out into the kitchen. Raine was standing with her back to him at the stove, barefoot and humming. He stood in the doorway for a moment watching her. He was in awe that there was a beautiful woman making him breakfast. Not to mention that said woman just happened to be his previously-deceased wife. If Laguna had been a science-fiction fan, he could have made a million Gil on the screenplay rights to this story.
He thought back to an hour ago, when he had opened his eyes to find Raine curled up next to him in their bed. Her petite body had felt so warm, and he had been very reluctant to even get out of bed. He was still reeling from the night before.
Their evening had progressed slowly, neither one wanting to jump into intimacy faster than they were comfortable with. They both soon realized that even though there were nerves to overcome, in the end, they were still hopelessly in love with one another, with nothing to be embarrassed or worried about.
They night they had spent together was one of love, slowly getting to know each other again on the most intimate of levels. They bared their souls to each other, strengthening their bond more than either one could have ever imagined.
"Good morning, husband."
Laguna was brought back to the present by the sweet sound of Raine's voice. She had turned around to greet him, tongs in hand. He realized he had been holding his breath, and exhaled sharply. She looked so beautiful standing there, her hair pulled back into a loose bun, still clad in the oversized t-shirt and pajama bottoms Laguna had provided for her to sleep in. Even with no trace of make-up on her face, and in rumpled bedclothes, she was still the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen.
Laguna approached his wife and kissed her tenderly before wrapping his arms around her tightly. "It is a good morning, isn't it?"
She twisted in his grip, turning back to her sizzling frying pan. "You're going to get splattered with bacon grease if you stick around here, Loire."
Laguna kissed the top of her head and took a seat at the side of the island. "Do you remember how I like my bacon?"
Raine picked up a desiccated slice and held it up with her tongs. "Incinerated."
"Bacon truly is one of the ways to a man's heart Raine, you're an angel. The central kitchen laughs at me when I order it that way."
Raine sighed, changing the subject. "Do you think he'll come by today?" She scooped some scrambled eggs onto a plate and handed them to Laguna across the island.
"Who, Squall?"
Raine lowered her eyes. "Yes. I mean, he's had a day to muse over everything that's happened."
Laguna could tell she was grappling with her emotions. Squall's behavior had to be taking an enormous toll on her. "I don't know. He tends to brood for a while when he's really upset."
"Squall-ness?"
Laguna snorted. "Yeah, 'Squall-ness.'"
Raine served herself and sat across from Laguna. "I know it sounds weird, but I would even be happy with a phone call at this point. Just to hear his voice…"
A light went off over Laguna's head. She wanted to hear his voice. He reached for his cell phone sitting on the countertop. "I just got the best idea! I'll call him. I know he won't answer, but the voicemail will pick up. Then at least you can hear him talk." Raine smiled softly at Laguna's small gesture of kindness. Laguna could see by the look on her face that she was excited by the prospect.
He dialed Squall's number and drummed his fingers on the side of his plate. As expected, the call went to voicemail. When the inbox picked up, Laguna switched the call to speaker.
"You've reached Commander Squall Leonhart. Leave a message at the tone." The voice on the prompt was strong and matter-of-fact, bordering on monotone.
"He's all business, isn't he?" Raine picked at her breakfast. "Thank you, Laguna. It was nice to hear him speak, even if it was just a voicemail message."
Laguna patted Raine's hand across the counter. "He'll come around soon, I promise."
XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX
"Your phone rang when you were in the shower. Damn thing woke me back up." Jane was sitting up in bed, wiping her glasses with the corner of the sheet.
Squall picked the device up from the dresser top and furrowed his brow. Laguna had called. He was relieved to see that there was no message. He quickly dressed, then made his way back to the bed, where he sat next to his girlfriend. "You gonna be here when I get back? I don't plan on staying more than ten minutes."
Jane stretched her arms backwards, lacing her fingers together behind her back. "If you still have those cinnamon rolls in your fridge, then yes." She smiled innocently. "But don't expect me to wait to eat them. You snooze, you lose."
"Whatever. I'll be back in a little while." He kissed her softly and left the room. He entered the kitchen and leaned up against the breakfast bar. Closing his eyes, he prepared himself for what was to come. He wasn't exactly looking forward to facing Laguna after how he had left things the previous day.
He decided to start the coffee maker before he left, as a courtesy to Jane and to stall his inevitable departure. Scooping some coffee grounds into the filter, he let his mind wander to what might transpire when he arrived at Laguna's door. Would Raine be happy to see him, or upset that he hadn't made the effort sooner? He sincerely hoped she wouldn't cry. A thought then crossed his mind—what if she wanted to hug him? He shuddered at the thought, as he wasn't comfortable with his close friends and family embracing him much, let alone a stranger. Squall decided he would deal with that event when and if it happened. Squall filled the cistern in the small appliance with water and started the brewing.
"I hear you in the kitchen, Leonhart! Quit stalling and get the hell outta here!"
Obeying the stern command that came from his bedroom, Squall grabbed his keycard and headed out.
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Laguna heard the door chime just as he was loading the last of the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. He wasn't expecting someone this early on a Sunday morning. Raine had gone to take a quick shower and dress for the day while Laguna had volunteered to clean up. He took a last swig of his coffee and deposited the mug into the appliance, then turned it on.
He whistled a cheery tune as he strolled over to the door, feeling the breeze from the open patio doors as he crossed the living room. The door slid open when he brushed his fingertip across the touchscreen on the keypad.
"Squall."
The young man stood in the hallway, casually dressed in blue jeans and a black t-shirt. The tattoos on either of his upper arms were just barely peeking out from the hem of his sleeves. He stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, and never uttered a word.
Laguna was genuinely surprised to see his son. He figured it would take him at least a few days to come around. He smiled softly, wondering if Jane had helped him to see how silly he had been acting. He had only met her a handful of times, but he knew enough about the young woman to know that she was no pushover, and let Squall know when he was acting like a child.
Laguna was happy to see him, and relieved that it seemed like he had finally come to his senses. He knew this would mean the world to Raine, but he was on his guard. Squall definitely had trouble emotional or uncomfortable situations, and Laguna knew this first meeting would be both.
"Uhh, you wanna come in?"
"Yeah, thanks." Squall crossed the threshold, Laguna noticing the he seemed to be surveying the living space, as if he were looking for someone.
"She's getting dressed, in case you're wondering." Laguna motioned to the couch in the living room. "Wanna sit down?"
Squall shook his head. "No. I'm not staying long." The young man pulled his hand through his brown locks. "Look, I…"
Laguna could tell that his son was having difficulty finding words. He so badly wanted to hear an apology for his actions the day before, to hear that he had acted irrationally. Laguna knew, however, that the possibility of that happening was slim to none. He knew that the young man felt very strongly in his opinion of Raine, and that he wouldn't be easily convinced otherwise.
Laguna was just grateful that he was here now, and maybe they could all work on starting a relationship with one another. Although Laguna desperately wanted to know more about why Squall had acted so passionately the day before, he knew better than to press the subject right now. He would ask questions later, no need in sending Squall running by digging into his emotional state.
"…I just came by to meet her. Don't expect me to be all lovey-dovey and forget about my feelings on the subject."
Laguna nodded. "Okay. Squall, I'm really proud of you for doing this. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to come here this morning. I can kinda imagine what you're feeling, after all we both got the same news yesterday, am I right?" He tried to crack a silly smile, but instantly realized Squall wasn't in a joking mood. "Can I ask you something though?"
"Whatever."
"What changed your mind? I thought for sure I'd have to hunt you down and drag you in like a chained Behemoth."
The young man sighed, tracking his gaze away from Laguna and off into the distance. "Nothing changed my mind. I still feel very strongly that something isn't right with this whole situation." He shifted his weight as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Jane and I talked last night and she made me see things from a different perspective. She made me realize that no matter what kind of opinions I have on the matter, the fact is that Raine is here and probably wants to meet me. Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of reservations and it's going to take a hell of a lot of evidence to convince me otherwise, but I shouldn't make her suffer just because I'm leery of her past."
Laguna smiled at his son. He was proud that he shared his feelings, even if some of them were still negative. He knew it took a lot of courage on Squall's part to come to them this morning, especially when he still felt very strongly about the whole situation. He made a mental note to thank Jane for making him see how his behavior was hurting Raine.
"Thank you, Squall, for doing this. It means a lot to me and I sure as hell know it means a lot to your mother." Laguna noticed instantly as his son cringed slightly at the mention of Raine as "his mother."
"Don't thank me for anything, Laguna. I need to do this as much for me as I do for her."
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Raine looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing her hair down with her hands. She adjusted the collar on her short-sleeved pink blouse, the only one she had brought with her. After she was satisfied with her appearance, she spritzed a tiny amount of floral perfume on her wrists and left the bedroom.
"Laguna? I didn't know where you usually put your wet towels so I just hung it over…"
Raine stopped dead in her tracks. Upon entering the living room, her eyes fell on Squall. He was standing in the middle of the room with Laguna, seemingly in a conversation. His brow was furrowed, a slight scowl on his face. His arms were crossed across his chest, making his biceps bulge under his black shirt. She could just make out the bottoms of black tattoos on both arms, and wondered what the designs were. He and Laguna were the same height, but Squall was definitely more toned than his father. It was obvious that he worked out regularly.
The two men had turned in the direction of the hallway when they heard her voice, and were now both facing her. She could feel Squall's blue eyes piercing her as he stared. He never flinched or acknowledged her. She stood silently, never finishing her previous sentence. She had to remind herself to breathe. All he could do was stare at the handsome young man in front of her. Even though he looked like Laguna in the photo she had of him, seeing him in person brought out all the Leonhart features in his face. She immediately noticed that he had her eyes and cheek structure, and of course, Laguna's chin. She couldn't stop herself from bringing her hands to her mouth in awe.
He was really here.
"Raine? Look who showed up!" Laguna was beaming, and patted the young man on the back. Squall immediately stiffened and gave him a scathing look.
Raine timidly took small steps towards them, all the while keeping her hands at attention over her mouth. She came to a stop next to Laguna, visibly trembling. She closed her eyes briefly, telling herself this was truly happening.
When she opened them, her eyes locked with those of her son. His eyes are so intense and beautiful, like ice. And that scar…it makes him look intimidating.
She finally managed to squeak out some semblance of words. "S-squall? I can't believe you're here." He stood silently, lightly chewing on his bottom lip. She could tell he was nervous. She felt the tears in her eyes begin to slide down her face, her breath beginning to hitch. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Thank you."
Squall looked to Laguna, who motioned with his head and very animated eyebrows to talk to her.
"I-I just wanted to introduce myself. I didn't want you to feel…rejected."
Raine could sense the emphasis in his voice on his last word. She let the sound of his voice reverberate around in her brain, relishing in its smooth melody. His words seemed to dance in her mind, like a beautiful song. She was so happy to hear him speak in person.
Raine clasped her hands at her abdomen, resisting the urge to jump at him and embrace the young man. From what Laguna had told her, he was leery of physical contact, even from those closest to him. She knew she would get the chance to hold him in her arms again soon enough. She didn't want to scare him away when he just finally came to her.
"I'm just so glad that you finally came. I was afraid that you didn't want to see me and didn't trust me because of my past with Odine."
Squall sighed. "It's not that I don't trust you, it's the people who…" He cut his sentence off prematurely, checking his words.
"The people who 'made' me?" Raine cocked her head as Squall nodded so slightly she almost missed it. "I understand why you're leery of my past, Squall. From what your father has told me, and from what I know about Odine, he didn't exactly have the best track record with our family. I know he did a lot of bad things to a lot of people, Ellone included. And Ash's treachery and betrayal only heightened that feeling, I'm sure." She took a few small steps towards him, and was disappointed when he backed away.
"But I'm here now, and I have been dreaming of this moment since I found out about you. I was so scared that you wouldn't let me be your mother after all these years, and when you didn't come to me right away; I'll admit that I was extremely hurt. The thought that you didn't want anything to do with me nearly broke my heart."
Raine then smiled sweetly. "And now, here you are. I can't thank you enough for coming here today. I know it's awkward—for all of us. But I know in time, we can all work together and hopefully make a new family."
Squall stared at her. "Look, I still don't know what to think about this whole situation, but Jane helped me to see this from your point of view, and made me realize that we both needed this."
Raine looked at Squall with a hopeful expression. "Jane? Is she your girlfriend?" The young man nodded, his cheeks flushing slightly. "Well, I will have to thank her for getting you to see life from a woman's perspective. And I understand that you still have concerns."
Squall got a stern look on his face. "I want to be very clear, I still have a lot of suspicions about this entire matter, and I intend to exhaust every avenue to quell my reservations. I can't just jump into a situation like some people." He looked to Laguna, who frowned slightly and rubbed his neck. "I can't promise anything, but I guess I hope we can work on something at some point." Squall exhaled sharply.
Raine smiled softly. It wasn't exactly the reception she had hoped for, but from interacting with Squall for this short amount of time, she could tell that this was a pretty normal response from the young man. Just by listening to him speak, the vocabulary he used, she could tell that he was extremely military-minded and that she should take his rigidity with a grain of salt.
"I understand, Squall. I know that getting to know each other won't be easy. After all, most children have their whole lives to get to know their parents, not to meet them when they are twenty-three." Raine was astonished by the words that had just come out of her mouth. It still amazed her that she had a twenty-three-year-old son.
The trio stood silently for a moment, mother trying not to stare too much at son, before Laguna spoke up. "So, Squall. Wanna stay for a cup of coffee on the balcony?" Raine could see the hopeful glint in her husband's eyes.
The young man turned to him, shaking his head. "No thanks, Laguna. I've got to get going."
Slightly disappointed at the short visit, Raine lightly touched Squall's arm, prompting him to recoil and give her a quizzical look. "Will you come back soon? And maybe bring Jane? I'd love to meet the woman who won my son's heart." She smiled hopefully.
"We'll see." He nodded his goodbyes as he headed to the door. "Laguna, Raine."
Raine watched as her child left the apartment, the faint scent of his aftershave lingering in the air after he had taken his leave. Laguna put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "See, I told you he'd come around. And he did…kinda." He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.
Raine sighed and wrapped her arms around Laguna's midsection. "He doesn't call you 'Dad.'"
"Yeah, he doesn't really feel comfortable with that. A part of me thinks he never will. It bothered me at first, but not anymore. I'm just glad I can be a part of his life, it doesn't matter how he addresses me, really."
"Do you think he'll ever call me 'Mom'?"
Laguna sighed deeply, causing Raine's head to rise and fall with his chest. "I wish I could tell you, sweetheart, I really do. I don't want to sound like a jerk by telling you not to get your hopes up, but I don't want to lead you on, either. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
"He's a no-nonsense guy, isn't he?" She nuzzled her chin into Laguna's shirt. "But I am so glad he finally came to see me. It feels nice to know that he doesn't hate me, or anything."
"That's just his personality, you'll get used to it. He's like that with practically everyone, even Jane sometimes. Although she doesn't take much of his angsty crap." Laguna chuckled.
"Is she good to him?"
"She's a perfect match for him, Raine. If you think he's 'no-nonsense' you should see her. I have never in my life met a stronger woman, with the exception of you, that is. She can be kinda brash at times, if you're not used to her, but she's got it where it counts…and I can tell she really loves him."
Raine closed her eyes. "I'm glad he found someone that makes him happy. He deserves nothing less."
"I'm with ya on that one." Laguna pushed Raine away from his body and changed the subject. "Well, now that you've met him and we don't have to wait around hoping he'll show up, how's about a tour of the city?" His voice had a sing-song to it. "I've got a cool car…"
"Are you asking me out on a date, Loire?" Raine had a playful look in her eyes.
Laguna immediately grabbed his left thigh. "Uhhh, yeah, I suppose I am."
Raine laughed hysterically, fighting her guffaws in order to get a word out. "You never cease to amaze me Laguna! Even after all these years, you're still nervous to ask me out! That's rich!"
He balanced on one foot, trying to massage his cramping leg. "Hey, it's been a long time since I've asked a woman out, cut me some slack!"
He extended his arm to Raine, who looped her own around his and allowed herself to be led out the door.