Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Extra lolz

Sasuke opened his eyes a quarter of the way when the blonde next to him popped up suddenly. Damn, he'd almost been asleep, and that dobe just had to—

The brilliant eyes turned to him and Sasuke woke up when he registered the confused and slightly scared expression on the blonde's face.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Hn."

"How...how'd you know where I live?" Naruto asked testily.

The Uchiha smirked and closed his eyes. "That's all? I thought you just realized you left something burning…"

He couldn't actually hear the blonde pout. "Hey, I'm serious! Were you stalking me?"

Sasuke couldn't resist rolling his eyes. "Don't you wish." He chuckled and stretched out on his back when Naruto glared at him. "Itachi told me the address. Sarah gave me more specific directions when she left."

"She saw you?"

"Yeah, when she came out to get your stuff."

"Oh, is that what she was so happy about?" Naruto mumbled, staring at the slip of skin where Sasuke's shirt had ridden up.

Sasuke followed Naruto's stare and shoved his shirt back down. "Pervert."

Naruto grinned. "Hey, I've been teme-less for like a year now! I'm suffering as much from dystrophy as you are! Cept mine's sexual…"

Sasuke stared at the blonde with a perched eyebrow. "Did you read books while I was away? You've been using big words correctly…"

"Tch." Naruto scowled and turned to hide in the pillow. "Teme."

Sasuke nudged Naruto with his elbow playfully. "Whatever. I'm going back to sleep now."

The blonde wiggled over slightly and cuddled the squirming raven. Sasuke settled in Naruto's arms with a sigh and tried not to notice how warm the blonde was even through their clothes.

"Okay, we'll sleep—God knows you need it—but when we wake up, we're pretending this past year didn't happen so I can forget all about, okay?"

Sasuke was too far gone into slumber to respond with more than a faint "hn".

Naruto smiled and nuzzled the Uchiha's shoulder. "Night, bastard."

:2:

"Dobe! Chill the fuck out!" Sasuke yelled, which showed just how annoyed the raven was. Uchihas were never supposed to yell.

"But I'm excited!" Naruto whined and squirmed in an odd way that made Sasuke think he was a melting-fangirl/worm hybrid. It was weird, his kneecaps like disappeared or something.

"Well tone it down." Sasuke growled and slipped on his shoes. He patted his pockets before he yanked the door open. "Come on."

Naruto locked the door and scrambled to catch up with his lover. Sasuke twitched when two warm hands clasped over his free one.

"Aww, Sasuke, don't be grumpy." Naruto cooed, making the raven stop to stare at his boyfriend in mild disgust.

"Why the hell are you acting all uke-ish?"

The blonde grinned brightly. "Because Sasuke's being very aggressive today!"

The Uchiha growled quietly in the back of his throat and pushed the surprised dobe against the wall. "Then you be aggressive back."

"No way! I love submitting to a sexy, dominating Sasuke." Naruto purred down at the twitching raven.

"No sex at Itachi's, dobe."

"Who said anything about sex?" The blonde asked with feigned innocence. "Besides, I'll be far too busy playing with Fuuko!" Naruto chirped happily and ducked from under Sasuke's arms and skipped to the stairs.

The raven let himself pout for a moment. He knew he had no reason to feel jealous, as the blonde hadn't seen his little sister in half a year, but still…

Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and followed the blonde to his car.

Naruto bounced in his seat all the way to Itachi's house. Sasuke was contemplating murder.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his older brother at the strange look Itachi gave Naruto as he bounded in.

"He's been like that all morning."

"My sympathy, otouto." Itachi smirked as he watched the blonde freeze and tear up when Fuuko looked up from her crawling.

"OH MY GOD!" The Uchiha brothers clapped their hands over their bleeding ears at the shriek and Fuuko looked terrified when the blonde swept her up and held her at arms length. "You've grown up so much already!"

The chibi's face uncrinkled from the expectation of being dropped and the girl's big black eyes slowly widened and a smile lit up the infant's face. "Naruru-nii!"

Naruto squealed quietly and hugged the happy girl. Sasuke twitched as Fuuko's face disappeared. He really didn't want to have to wait for Naruto to get out of jail for infanticide. Not to mention it'd be a real damper on their newly-mended relationship.

Sasuke almost jumped when round pale face popped over Naruto's shoulder to stare at him. Fuuko reached out her chubby hands and grasped the air, signaling him to come. Sasuke walked up behind the blonde and smiled a little when the little hand clasped his finger.

"Ossu, akachan."

"Hey, don't call her that! She'll think it's her name!" Naruto huffed slightly. Itachi chuckled on the way to the kitchen.

"Tch, she's not dumb, she's an Uchiha!" Sasuke smirked. "Ne, akachan, anata no namae wa nan da?"

"Fuuko da!" The little girl chirped and Naruto stared at the black hair in shock.

"My god, that's insane! No wonder Kisame is scared!"

"The first time I saw her she was already speaking broken Japanese. It hasn't improved too much because our parents refuse to speak it around her to force her to learn English instead. She's just as stubborn, though; Itachi and I have yet to get her say a thing in English."

"Heh. Guess Uchiha's can't do everything." Naruto snickered and carried Fuuko to the couch.

Sasuke sneered and sat next to him. "Whatever, dobe."

Fuuko turned from halfway in Sasuke's lap and looked at the blonde. "Dobe…nii?"

The blue eyes grew and Naruto immediately screeched denials while the raven and ravenette laughed.

Naruto scowled when Fuuko started chanting it. "Look what you did, teme, teaching your little sister bad words."

The girl stopped laughing and climbed the rest of the way into Sasuke's lap before pulling herself up to stand on his legs. "Teme-nii?"

Naruto snorted and clapped a hand over his mouth to contain his laughter as the Uchiha glare was released on him.

"Who's teaching her bad words now?" Sasuke hissed.

"You started it!"

Fuuko pulled herself up between them and put a chubby on each of their cheeks. "Dobe-nii to teme-nii, daisuki!"

Naruto melted into a sentimental pile of goo and Sasuke stared, trying to control his twitching.

"Kawaii!"

Sasuke twitched. God, his boyfriend was a woman.

"Dobe-nii to teme-nii…" Fuuko's pale forehead wrinkled as she thought of the word. She clapped her hands together. "Kissu!" She smiled up at them expectantly.

Both men stared at her in shock. Sasuke felt faint. His little sister was already a yaoi fangirl.

Fuuko squeaked when Itachi plucked her from the couch. "Stop corrupting my imouto, you two."

"WHAT?! It was totally teme!!" Naruto shrieked in protest and hopped the couch like a trained acrobat. Sasuke just stared at the spot where Naruto had been sitting. They'd definitely have to have couch-sex soon…

:3:

"Cheese?"

"Yeah." Sasuke nodded slightly and watched stand up from his seat at Sasuke's feet to get them the freshly cooked pizza Choji had made. It was winter break and they were spending the first Saturday with Naruto's friends at Ino's house. Normally, Sasuke would be cool with this. Even though Temari and Ino were still considering castrating him (and Gaara) for the "New Years Incident", the raven was doing his best to be sociable. And he'd been doing a damn good job of it, if he did say so himself.

However, that was 'normally', and that day was not normal.

That day Sakura was coming.

Sasuke was scared shitless. Naruto had tried to calm him down, and had ended up dragging the limp Uchiha to the Akamachi household by force.

The raven shrunk back into the arm chair when the sound of a key in the front door scratched through the living room. He took a deep breath and braced himself.

The second the door swung open green eyes met wary onyx.

"You." Sakura hissed and stalked towards the Uchiha, abandoning Ino at the door.

The pinkette was three steps from wringing his neck when his blonde savior jumped between them and held his arms out.

"Sakura, I told you to chill, didn't I? It's cool; if you want to castrate anyone, get Gaara."

Sasuke glimpsed Lee pulling the redhead close out of the corner of his eye.

"But Naruto, he—"

"Doesn't matter, Sakura." Naruto said firmly. "We're doing very well pretending that nothing's happened." The blonde handed Sasuke a plate. "Right, Sasuke?"

The raven nodded.

Sakura sneered then turned to the redhead. "You. I don't care what you or Lee have to say, I'm kicking your ass."

Gaara nodded meekly.

The pinkette sighed and ran a hand through her hair then grinned. "So! What's for lunch?"

And after that, Naruto magically manage to totally repress the whole horrible incident.

Tsuzuku

Just some random stuff that I felt needed to be finished. Time skip next--wish me speed for the lemon! Those usually take a while XP