A/N

Pairing; Nalu, Fairy Tail

Genre and Rating; Modern!AU, T

"Don't be fucking rude."

"Oh my God Lucy you are such a meme!" Cana cackled, arm slung over Lucy's shoulder as she tried to wedge her face between Lucy's phone and her ear. "Besides, it's girls night! That means no dicks!"

"Cana," Levy sighed giving her a pointed look.

"Your dick is female, it doesn't count. Now take your shot and spin the wheel of awkward sexual questions on your phone."

"Does that mean Juvia's beloved can join?"

"You know if you would just stop making everything about dick this would stop happening," Lucy commented innocently, grinning at Cana's disgruntled look. "You don't even like dick."

"Oh I like dick, just not what ninety percent of it is attached to."

"Can you guys stop saying dick?" A tired voice asked from the phone. Lucy squeaked, shoving her hand in Cana's face and pushing her so she fell backwards over the couch.

"Sorry Natsu," Lucy sighed, glaring at her pack of giggling friends and making threatening gestures with her hand as she left the room. "You know how they are."

"I did grow up with them," he said dryly, Lucy hearing his smile in his voice.

"Then you should be used to the word dick," Lucy teased, grinning at his scoff. "Would you rather I say penis?"

"Oh Luce, you know I beat you at the penis game." Natsu purred. Lucy was thankful that he was half a city away and not able to see her face, because that meant she didn't have to suppress her shiver or stop herself from biting her lip at his deep voice. Yes, Lucy thought to herself, I'm sure you could definitely beat me with your dick.

Alrighty, that was a sign for her to stop taking every drink Cana and Mira offered her.

Time to stop being creepy about her best friend. "You wish," she said instead of anything she might regret.

"Excuse you I totally won the round in the library yesterday!"

"Because I wasn't playing," Lucy huffed, smiling as she twirled a strand of hair around her fingers. "You and Gray started it, I just got kicked out alongside you!"

"Then maybe I was just imagining you screaming," Natsu said, voice low and rough through the phone. Lucy's heart stuttered, mouth suddenly going dry as her mind whirled.

"What?" she asked, clearing her throat awkwardly at how her own voice sounded. Thank God Cana was too busy climbing all over Kagura like some alcoholic cat.

"Nothing!" Natsu said, loudly and rushed. Lucy smiled to herself, walking around Cana's bedroom. He was so weird. Maybe that was why she loved him.

Whoop there was a bad thought she shouldn't be having. At least she could admit his aesthetics did things to her drunk mind, but love was something that she really didn't feel like crossing right now.

"Whatever you say, Weirdo." Lucy hummed, falling backwards onto the bed and giggling at his half offended 'oi'.

"I ain't the weird one, don't go stealing my nickname!" he chastised, Lucy able to picture his lopsided smirk. She wondered what he was doing, considering if he had been out with Gray and Gajeel he'd be getting chirped to death.

"Nu uh, you're the weird one." Lucy sang.

"You are!"

"Nope."

"You put ketchup and gravy on your fries!" Natsu said triumphantly, if not without a hint of disgust.

"I like salty and sweet." Lucy pouted. "Besides, it's better than you putting habanero sauce on everything. I've even seen you put it on candy!"

"Ain't my fault you can't handle the heat," Natsu said smugly. Lucy was reminded of the fact that she had, indeed, had several shots of tequila before answering Natsu's call by how she responded.

"Oh, I think I can handle your heat."

"Wha-"

"I CAN HANDLE THE HEAT. THE. I said the. I can handle the heat." Lucy yelled into the phone, staring at the ceiling in horror as she felt her face burn as if she had just eaten one of those damn peppers, seeds and all. A tenseness filled the phone line between them, Lucy gnawing on her lip as she waited for Natsu to speak. She couldn't tell if it was awkward or not, but it was making a ball of something knot itself in her gut and Lucy was really starting to pray she was still a light weight and it was just the tequila trying to revolt.

"So why'd ya call?" Lucy said, cringing at the squeaking pitch of her voice and the odd sing-song tone it had taken on. I crave death flashed through her brain like a cheap neon sign, but she pushed it down for more opportune times, like when she was dealing with a customer or writing a ten-page essay at three AM.

"Uhh-" Natsu said, voice tight and Lucy wanted to scream into the pillow beside her face. He coughed awkwardly, each second passing making Lucy seriously consider switching universities and just, living with her father. It wouldn't be that bad, right? Fancy ball gowns and no agency in life. Arranged marriages to a man three times her age. She could deal. Slip a little too much cyanide into his whiskey and bam! Instant widow. "I was wonderin' where you put Happy's backpack. He's making his howling noises for it again, you know how he is when he hasn't seen ya for a few days."

"Aww," Lucy cooed. "He misses me?"

"Pretty sure he loves you more than me, Luce," Natsu chuckled. Lucy cocked her head at the strange choking noise he made but decided to ignore it.

"Did you check on the top cupboard shelf?"

"Why would it be there?" Natsu asked, incredulous. Lucy sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Because that cat is a menace that likes to pounce on us from the tallest place he can reach, including the inside of your cabinets. Don't ask me how he gets in there because I truly do not know." Lucy waited as Natsu thought it over, sitting up when she heard a commotion coming from the living room. "Did you find it?" she asked distractedly, walking from the bed and out the door.

"Juvia put down the bottle and let her explain!"

"No! She knows Juvia's beloved's kinks! She must share them with Juvia so she can give Gray the best orgasm!"

"Goddammit who gave her the vodka! We all know Juvia doesn't get vodka!"

"Yeah! Thanks Luce, you're the best!" Natsu cheered, Lucy humming absently as she slowly made her way to the living room, where Juvia was clinging to Cana's waist while a disgruntled Kagura and howling Lisanna tried to pry her off. Levy cackled between and a smirking Mira and Erza, the three doing nothing to help.

"No problem," she mumbled, trying not to draw her batshit-crazy friends' attention to her. "I gotta go."

"Juvia get into the vodka?" Natsu asked, Lucy smiling at his wry tone.

"Yeah."

"Alright, have fun with the crazies."

"You know I will," Lucy grinned, "love you, bye!"

Lucy stared at the screen of her phone, thumb already tapping the 'end call' button as her brain caught up with her mouth. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

"Fuck."

Lucy dropped her phone on the stone counter top of Cana's kitchen, walking numbly into the heart of the mess and taking the vodka bottle from Juvia's hand. Without missing a beat she took it to her lips, pounding back three long sips as she sank into the couch beside Levy.

"Uh Luce, not to be judgey but that's how people get alcohol poisoning." Levy pointed out, helpfully.

"That's the goal," Lucy said flatly, taking another swig.

"You alright?" Cana asked, ignoring Juvia as she looked at Lucy with concern.

"I told Natsu I loved him."

"I did not know you two were dating." Kagura said, also ignoring Juvia despite still holding onto her ankle.

"Lucy!" Mira gasped, hands slamming on the coffee table, "How could you keep this from me? I've been trying to set you two up for years."

Lisanna let go of Juvia's leg, latching onto Lucy's arm painfully. "Tell us. Everything."

"We're not!" Lucy wailed, dropping her head into her hands. "It just slipped out! And then I hung up!"

All girls' heads snapped when Lucy's phone began vibrating on the stone.

"Oh my God it's him."

"Answer it!"

"Pick up your phone or I will."

"Are you crazy?" Lucy hissed, eyes wide as she looked at Erza. "What so he can tell me 'Gee Luce, you're a great friend but I don't really see you like that.' No, thank you."

Lucy jolted at the unanimous groan and eye roll her friends gave her.

"Lucy I'll bet you my fifty-year-old trilogy that that is the exact opposite of what Natsu would say." Levy said flatly. She stuck her tongue out at Lucy's shocked expression, relaxing back into the sofa.

"Well then what are you planning on doing?" Kagura asked. Her face stayed the same serious mask as it always did, even as she threw her arm around the back of the chair whose arm she was sitting on, Cana cuddling into her side with a lazy grin.

"Leaving the city in the dead of night and changing my name to Michelle Lobster."

"That is a stupid name." Erza said, sipping her strawberry cooler with a raised eyebrow.

"I am improvising!" Lucy snapped, dropping her head when her phone started to vibrate a second time. No one would suspect her of murdering her senior-aged husband, not with her big eyes and cleavage.

"And a stupid plan."

"You know what Lisanna-"

"Hold it I'm getting a phone call."

Lucy's gut swooped when she put two and two together, too late to do anything but sit in horror as Cana answered her phone.

"Hey there Natsu, funny seeing you call me."

"Please let me die." Lucy whimpered, eyes widening when Juvia gripped her wrist, vice-like as she stopped her from fleeing.

"Lucy is going to experience love even if Juvia has to force it down her throat." She threatened, Lucy whimpering a second time under the steely determination in Juvia's dark blue gaze.

"Oh yeah she's right here, pounding back Juvia's vodka like she's a Russian revolutionary about to be sent to the gulags under Stalin's explicit orders. Oh shut up I worked hard for that A minus in Eastern European history class and you will take what remains of that hell course in my brain. Oh gee, let me ask her.

"Hey Luce," Cana called, grin salacious as she wiggled the phone in Lucy's direction. "Natsu wants to talk to you."

"Tell him I died of alcohol poisoning half an hour ago and he had been talking to my ghost."

"Yeah, she'd love to talk to you."

"Traitor." Lucy snarled, glaring up at Cana as she sauntered over to where Juvia still held Lucy.

"Mm 'kay, I'll take this and give you that." Cana said, taking the vodka from Lucy's fist and trading her the cell phone. "Have fun!"

"Hi," Lucy squeaked, reluctantly answering the phone.

"Your ghost huh?"

"I will literally write the next hundred of your papers if you just pretend that I didn't say what I said and that the last five minutes never happened." Lucy whined, feeling tears starting to threaten to escape. She was going to lose her best friend all because she had had too much tequila and didn't know how to shut up.

"While that is tempting," Natsu said, in that fake pretending voice that either made Lucy laugh or want to punch him, "I have a better offer."

"Just tell me what it is and I'll do it." Lucy gasped, standing up abruptly. She would shave her head if it meant not losing Natsu.

"You don't even know what it is! It could be anything." Natsu chuckled, low and deep and sending unwanted shivers along Lucy's spine.

"Natsu I will literally do anything you ask if it means going back to normal."

"Be my girlfriend."

Lucy dropped the phone. She scrambled to get it, clutching at it with both hands as she pressed it to her ear. "Okay! What? I-I mean yes?" Lucy rasped, the world spinning before her eyes. God did Juvia drink strong alcohol.

Natsu chuckled again, Lucy's knees weakening at the throaty and deep sound. "Go have fun with your friends Luce, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," Lucy said weakly, sitting back down on the sofa in a daze.

"And Lucy?" Natsu called, continuing after Lucy's hum of acknowledgment, "I love you too, you weirdo."

Lucy stared blankly at the phone in her hands after he hung up. He loved her. They were dating. Holy fuck they were dating.

"Sooo," Levy pressed, ducking her head under Lucy's to look at her. "Judging by that terrifying smile I'd say the conversation went well," Lucy's gaze flicked to Levy's at her leading tone, touching her cheek to realize she was in fact smiling. A huge, wide smile that made her cheeks hurt.

"He said he loves me too," she breathed, giggling and pulling Cana's phone to her chest. "He called me a weirdo and said he loves me."

Three seconds ticked by before the room filled with squealing girls, Lucy laughing loudly as they dog-piled on her. "This calls for drinks!" Cana shouted.

"I think this calls for ice cream and romcom movies," Kagura corrected dryly, giving Lucy a rare and full smile. "We have to give Lucy date ideas after all."

Everyone squealed again, hugging whichever part of Lucy they could get a hold on. Lucy grinned brightly, thankful for her friends' enthusiasm, even if she already had a scrapbook of perfect date ideas she had been making since she was ten.

And the best part was Natsu already knew about it, and had even helped fill in a few pages. Maybe they had both been a little oblivious for a little too long, but now it had worked out better than Lucy ever could have dreamed.

They were dating!

And Lucy was going to throw up.

"I knew mixing alcohol would end like this, you're such a lightweight!"

"Cana?"

"Yeah Luce?"

"Don't be fucking rude."

A/N; This is part of the college au with trans!Gray! Levy is a trans girl, Cana is a lesbian and dating Kagura, and Mira is ace! Everyone is bi/pan unless stated otherwise bcus why not lol.