Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. The original characters, content and ideas of this story are mine.

Chapter 35

Explanations

EPOV

After my morning meeting which carried into the very early afternoon, I ordered lunch from the café to be brought up and decided to eat lunch in my office. Rosalie handled Mr. Lauten like a champ and just as I thought, he did not mind me being late at all, in fact if I had never shown up, that would have been fine with him also.

I turned on my computer feeling both anxious and nervous to read Bella's email, because she was responding to mine in which I questioned her on why she had never told me that the ex had an affair on her. In hind sight, you should never send out messages when you are angry or annoyed, because you may come off a little abrasive. I know that she is upset with me because she did not call yesterday as scheduled and I did not get an email from her last night, however Dr. Clearwater emailed me to say that Bella was alright and to give her time after I emailed her asking if she was okay.

Flashback:

March 6, 2012

12:55 pm

From: Edward

To: Bella

Subject: Secrets and Trust!

Bella,

I hope you are feeling okay today and your afternoon is going better than mine. I just came back from a meeting with Emily Uley in which we were discussing your case and a threatening phone call I received last night after talking to you and imagine my surprise when I found out that one of the suspects who may have had something to do with that call could be the ex- lover of your now deceased husband! I know that this may seem small to you, but I need you to trust me enough to be open and honest about everything with me. Is there anything else you have not told me or should I just wait to hear it from Emily. I will be there to visit you on Friday and we can discuss things in more detail then, because there are some things that I don't want to discuss by email. I love and miss you despite your lack of trust in me.

Yours Forever,

Edward

End of Flashback

As I opened her email, there was a knock on my door and in walked Alice with my lunch from the café.

"Thanks Alice."

"Sure thing, I'm leaving for lunch now."

"Enjoy" I said as she walked out and closed my door.

I turned my attention back to Bella's email and began to read. The subject line alone made my insides coil and I instantly regretted sending my email.

March 7, 2012

9:01 am

From: Bella

To: Edward

Subject: Assuming and making an ASS out of you!

Mr. Cullen,

First of all, I am very unhappy to hear about this phone call and I hope you went straight to the police, second I do not even know where to start with you, but let me start by saying that if at this point if who my dead husband was fucking besides me has your underwear in this much of a bunch, we have bigger issues than trust, like INSANITY! I have not intentionally held anything back from you and I resent you implying that I would. Honestly, what would I have to gain by doing so, I am the one locked up, behind bars with my freedom stripped from me! That man made my life miserable, a pure living hell for years and you honestly have to question our limited conversations about my marriage to him! I don't know about you, but I am not into the whole self torture thing at all and I tend to steer away from those things that bring back painful memories, as if being in this place is not punishment enough. He got the easy way out and I'm still here having to deal with the repercussions of marrying him! Talk about getting the short end of the stick, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you, because if all else fails you could always just buy the long end of the stick, right? And don't you ever question my trust in you; I gave you my friendship, my heart, my love and my son! But you could not have gained any of those things without my trust first, so maybe I am not the one with trust issues, since you felt the need to even question me about this. I hope you take sometime in the next day or so to think about what you really want, because maybe you are getting in over your head.

Bella

I was stunned and quite frankly had lost my appetite. She called me Mr. Cullen and that couldn't be good. She thinks I may be having second thoughts about her and Edward and that could not be further away from the truth. I love and trust her with all my heart and Edward is our son, not just hers. I really fucked up and I need to make this right because losing Bella and Edward is not an option ever for me.

When Alice came back from lunch, I summoned her help and let her read the two emails.

"You're a fucking idiot you know that?"

"Excuse me?" I said shocked

"Edward, what were you thinking sending her this kind of email, and all because she did not tell you who her ex husband was banging behind her back, how stupid are you? This girl has given you more trust than any woman you have ever known, how much do you have to trust someone to give them custody of your newborn, think Edward! Why would you insult her like that as if she does not have enough to think about already, she doesn't need the extra from you of all people."

"I know, I know Alice, I think I… just got jealous that she was hiding something and that she may still have feelings for him."

"Edward, he's gone and you're here, don't force her to talk about things before she is ready, this is still an open wound for her and part of helping her heal is giving her time. I do not think she has any remaining feelings for him, but she is still feeling the impact of her decision to marry him and that is why she tries not to discuss him with you. His memory represents pain, suffering, hurt, loneliness, fear, struggle and unhappiness and yours represents comfort, companionship, courage, compassion, joy, happiness and most of all love. With all that you two have together who would want to dwell on the past."

I felt ashamed and so unworthy of Bella's love for questioning her trust. She deserved better and I needed to apologize and let her know that she means everything to me and that having her and Edward in my life is more than just a desire for me, it's a necessity.

A/N: Okay here is the second chapter I promised, hope you enjoy it. Please read and leave your thoughts in a review, thanks.