Lord Drake Misadventures 38
By: Vyce Dryke, 2009
Based on a true story.
Some random Hive City somewhere on some planet not important enough to be named anyway...
Lord Drake stand on a sidewalk, people giving them strange looks for their Chaos gear and weapons. Nobody really wanting to piss them off, the military possibly pending. And for whatever reason they're standing there.
The bus they're waiting on nearly goes by them.
Lord Drake: Hey! Hey! STOP! I NEED THE BUS!
Tlanextic: That jerk..
The bus stops, and the door opens. Lord Drake steps onto the bus, giving the driver a glare. The drive looks familiar. In fact...
George: Uhhh... Do you know how many buses stop here?
Drake: Two! What's it matter? Why didn't you stop.
George: Well. You see. Back then I didn't think you could answer the secret question.
Tlanextic: Back then? That was a few minutes ago.
George: Yeah. back then.
Lord Drake: The Secret question?
Tlanextic: The one you just asked us?
George: Uhm. Yeah. That's the one. most people don't get that.
Lord Drake: Then why are there so many people on the bus?
George blinks, and looks down the walkway of the bus.
George: Where'd all those people come from? They weren't there before...
Lord Drake: Your clueless.
George: Hey. How'd you figure out the answer?
Tlanextic: It's on the sign jackass.
George: By the Emperor! They've deceived me! He works against me!
George looks like he's trying to choke at someone in thin air. One of the passengers falls over and dies... Of an unrelated heart attack. Strange. And of course nobody notices. Tlanextic notices and blinks, facepalming.
Facepalm Counter: 1
Tlanextic: What was that voice?
Lord Drake: What voice? I don't hear anything.
Tlanextic: Nothing. Must be the whispers of Tzeentch.
Lord Drake: Wouldn't he be saying something like Just as Planned?
Tlanextic: Probably bad reception.
Lord Drake: I wasn't aware Psykers worked like radio stations. Maybe that's what the staff is for, you hold it a certain way and get better reception. Or those funny 'ears' on your helmet. Maybe if yo-
Tlanextic groans and facepalms.
Tlanextic: Just. Shut. Up.
Facepalm Counter: 2
Tlanextic: There it goes again! If Vyce was here he'd agree with me.
Lord Drake: Don't you mean she?
Tlanextic: He. She. It. Whatever. That dragon creeps me out as Slaaneshi.
Lord Drake hmms, and pulls out a sock puppet of Tlanextic and one of Slaanesh Vyce.
Lord Drake (As Vyce): Hey baby.
Lord Drake (As Tlanextic): Oh wow! I like what you've done with your hair!
Lord Drake (As Vyce): Your hot. Wanna make out?
Lord Drake (As Tlanextic): Would I ever!
Lord Drake mashes the faces of the two sock puppets together. Tlanextic visibly twitches, looking like he's going to murder someone.
Lord Drake (As Tlanextic): Whoooa. That's amazing! Screw you Tzeentch. i'm going Slaanesh. Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll for life!
Lord Drake (As Vyce): You should be my gay transvestite confused lover!
Lord Drake (As Tlanextic): I'd love to. Since I like men and sex. I like lollipops..... And Daemons named Naso. I hang out with Corrack and I think he's the bomb.. I wear dresses and fishn-
Zoom out. The Bus Explodes with Tlanextic's fury, taking out a tank or two and some unsuspecting Imperial Guard.. German.. Imperial Guard...
IG1: Sven! Sven!
Sven: Oh my god... Hermutt!
Hermutt: Sven! Nooo! Your getting sourkraut all over the place!
Sven: I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I'm feeling better.
Hermutt: But your wounds. They're too great. Your lifeblood of sourkraut It's all over!
Sven: But Hermutt.. They're.. scratching your paintjob...!
Hermutt: It's okay Sven! I'll get revenge!
As Hermutt turns to get said revenge, Lord Drake and Tlanextic slam into the both of them, armor blackened.
Lord Drake: Ow.
Lord Drake (As Vyce): Spicey!
Lord Drake (As Tlanextic): Faaaaaabulous~
Tlanextic: I will destroy you.