CHAPTER 36: HEAVEN AND HELL

-It was delicious, Calleigh. I didn't know you were such an excellent cook. -, Horatio complimented his colleague while dropping on the sofa, where Flavia had curled up a minute ago.

-Why, thank you. It's always a pleasure to cook for people with a good appetite. -, the blonde replied, taking her seat besides Horatio, nearer than what she'd usually dare to do due to the lack of space on the sofa. She glanced at Horatio; he cast a glance at the floor, his cheeks reddening. Surely it was not that uncomfortable, to be this near to her?

-I… didn't realize I was that famished. I seem to eat more these days. -, he said, embarrassed. Ah, so it was for the three full plates of her homemade dinner that he had wolfed down, Calleigh mused with a grin.

-You're a werewolf… and exercising like a madman. It's quite normal. -, Flavia assured him, eyes closed , voice thick with sleep.

-Mmm…-, was the noncommittal sound that came from his throat. His eyes were still downcast, a sad look on his face. He didn't like to be reminded of his wolf form, especially in front of Calleigh; he feared her reaction. An unfounded fear, for he knew she had already seen him in pretty bad shape… but never in his wolf form. Would her reaction be like Yelina's? He couldn't afford to lose her, too, therefore he couldn't afford to ever let her see him as a wolf.

As if sensing his thoughts, Calleigh's hand sneaked towards his face, for his hands were occupied stroking Flavia's hair, which rested securely in his lap. Her light caress startled him out of his musing, his eyes quickly darted towards her face, alarmed.

-Hey, you okay?-, she whispered.

-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. -, Horatio replied, smiling shyly at her.

Calleigh noticed immediately his discomfort, and his pathetic attempt at lying. She briefly contemplated the idea of hugging him, but that would have implied him letting go of his sister, and it was obvious he was in dire need of human contact. If she remembered correctly, werewolves were social creatures and needed the pack's support, mental and physical, almost more than the air they breathed. Throwing caution to the wind, she reclined her head on his shoulder, rubbing his arm with her small hands.

-Calleigh, w-what…?-, he stuttered, looking at her with wide startled eyes.

-Shh, relax. We all need a little bit of comfort these days. -, Calleigh murmured closing her eyes, savoring the warmth irradiated by her boss's body, the steady raising and lowering of his chest, the intoxicating scent that was pure Horatio's masculinity. A low rumble, however, made her eyes snap open; she lifted her chin, gazing questioningly at the chuckling redhead.

-Said the one who swore she never acted motherly. -, he offered, his eyes crinkling with mirth. Calleigh bit her lower lip, half suppressing an impudent grin; she slapped Horatio's chest playfully, taking advantage of that action to snuggle closer to him. He was just so damn irresistible, so warm, so inviting.

He freed his left arm, passing it along Calleigh's shoulder to make the process easier for her. The blonde sighed involuntarily in pleasure, claiming the crook of Horatio's neck as her pillow. He chuckled, gladly accepting the light weight on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for several minutes, both content and lost in their own little world, Flavia's soft breath as the only background noise. Until…

-You wanted to tell me something, earlier this evening. -, Horatio called softly. Calleigh opened her eyes, startled by the sudden question, then, upon catching on his meaning, she relaxed back on his embrace.

-Yeah. Uh, the other day I met Tim in the break-room, he looked a bit depressed; I linked it with my earlier encounter with Eric, when he had almost crashed into me…-, she trailed off, feeling Horatio's muscles stiffen behind her. Unconsciously, she placed a hand on his chest to calm him down. –He looked really angry, barely acknowledged me… so I asked Tim what happened. It's unusual for him to open up to me, well, to anyone for that matter, but he did and that should tell you how much he was disturbed by what had happened between him and Eric. -, she blabbed.

-And what had happened, Cal?-, Horatio gently pressed to help her refocus on the main point. Calleigh smiled smugly at him before continuing. –Well, uh, apparently Eric lamented that he has often found Tim looking at your sister… not in a brotherly way. -, the blonde replied, suddenly unsure of herself. Was she betraying Speed by telling Horatio? The man in question remained silent for several seconds, making the blonde's fears increase dramatically.

Then: -What did Tim reply to Eric' accusations?-, he asked, seeming curious.

-He… he said his glances where not dissimilar to those Eric… well, shot me, sometimes. -, Calleigh answered, highly embarrassed. –His whole point was, they were innocent. -, she added, reassuring Horatio. What about, however? Tim looking appreciatively at Flavia? Or Eric secretly admiring her, Calleigh?

-Mmm…-, another noncommittal sound. Usually, she loved that low, deep rumble, but not this time, not when she could not decipher it. –I think…-, he trailed off, as if to reorganize his thoughts. –Maybe it's time for Tim to find himself a girlfriend, what do you think?-. he asked, looking at Calleigh slantwise.

Inwardly sighing in relief, the blonde toyed with the idea of Tim going out with Flavia. Could she really make him happy? Would she be able to put a smile on his always serious face? Would they ever hear his laugh?

-Do you think they're… right, for each other?-, she asked tentatively.

-I think it could work, yes. -, Horatio replied, caressing his chin in thought.

-What about their working relationship?-, the blonde pressed on. Yeah, what about that, mmm?

-As long as they're discreet and it doesn't affect the way they work, it's fine by me. Tim's got a right to happiness, and I think Flavia could provide him that. She's… a bright young woman. –

Calleigh mused on Horatio's words. She believed he was right, of course; the point was: did he really believe what he had said? Could they really have a chance?

Careful, Duquesne, all that double meaning is not gonna make any good.

She chanced a glance at Horatio. He had his eyes closed, a contented smile on his face. In that moment, in the comfort of his embrace, she finally came to the full realization that she wanted a real relationship with the wonderful man that was Horatio Caine. He had been her boss, her mentor, her friend, but lately everything had changed. She'd been by his side during some of his worst moments, helping his sister take care of him, and, surprisingly, that had not scared her, as it had happened before with other men she'd dated. Quite the opposite, in fact: she was proud of the way he had handled it all, even if that meant spending time with Yelina and away from his team. He needed time to heal, then he was back, more active than before.

She couldn't really blame him for trying to borrow some happiness, God only knew if he needed it. She imagined Yelina had seemed some kind of a free port to him, what with her having been interested in him for quite some time and blatantly showing it. She hated the way she acted around him, though: first she flirted with him, smiled sweetly and fussed over him, then the next time she was cold and detached, pretending to be the prey that Horatio had to pursue at every cost. It wasn't fair to him, it must have been difficult enough with her being his sister-in-law without her sending him mixed signals. She pushed, then withdrew, like he was some sort of yo-yo. He was bound to succumb at some point, he was human, after all. More human, lately.

As if on cue, a soft murmur startled Calleigh out of her reverie. She looked around, trying to pinpoint the source of that sound. Then, something under her started rumbling.

-Horatio? Are you purring?-, she asked, shocked. The redhead snapped his eyes open, looking at her questioningly. –Am I?-, he demanded, surprised himself.

-Yes! Yes, you are! How… cute!-, Calleigh squeaked. The man snapped a hand over his face, embarrassed and a bit mortified. Cute?

Embarrassed was a feeling Horatio didn't particularly like to experience, so, as he was accustomed to doing, he tried changing the topic. –It's getting late, Calleigh. I'd better take Flavia home. -, he stated, his arm darting towards his sister's still form. A hand on his elbow prevented him from reaching her.

-Let her sleep, Horatio. She's had a difficult couple of days. You can both spend the night here. -, she offered, whispering as not to wake Sleeping Beauty up.

-That's very generous of you, but we can impose like that…-, Horatio tried protesting. He should have known better than trying arguing over hospitality with the Southern belle, he mused as Calleigh dragged him to the tiny guest room adjacent to hers.

-I even have something you can sleep into. -, she stated, seeming satisfied with herself; she disappeared briefly in her bedroom, leaving Horatio to his dark musings about absolutely not wanting to sleep in a shirt a young and handsome boyfriend of hers may have left at her place. When she came back, she showed him a big black shirt with a light-blue inscription that screamed BASTARD INSIDE.

-That's mine. -, she said, handing him the article of clothing. At his arched eyebrow, she further elaborated: -It seemed like a good idea at the time. I've worn it only twice, it's clean. –

He grabbed the shirt, thanking the owner, then disappeared in the bathroom to change. A while later, as he was lying on the tiny bed, lulled by the water running in the adjacent bathroom, he couldn't help but muse on how strange his life had become lately. Here he was, in Calleigh's house, spending the night in her guest room, after…

After what? He couldn't really define what they had been doing just minutes ago. Comforting one another, had Calleigh called it? He was mesmerized by her ability to soothe his devastated soul, she was a balm for his inner wounds. She was beautiful, inside and outside. And he loved her for it.

Love? As in… in love with her?

The sudden thought scared him. It surely wasn't right for him to harbor such feelings for young sweet Calleigh. He was her boss, her mentor, he was so much older than her… he was a monster, for God's sake! He surely didn't deserve a gem like her, he couldn't ask her to put up with him, it wouldn't be fair. The sweetness and calmness she provided whenever she was by his side had to be an illusion, just like it had been with Yelina. Once Calleigh saw the beast inside him she'd be scared, she'd want nothing to do with him anymore and leave him. Because he was dark inside.

He shifted position in bed, and an horrifying thought occurred to him: what if he hurt her? What if he lost control? He'd be devastated, he'd probably kill himself right then, right there. Tears swelled in his eyes, his throat painfully constricted. He didn't want to lose Calleigh, not her. Yelina he could bear, she wasn't his to begin with and never felt quite right, the atmosphere never relaxed between them… but Calleigh! Sweet beautiful innocent Calleigh, so caring, so compassionate, so… loving. And lovable. So right.

Horatio hid his head under the pillow, hoping his brain would finally shut down. He couldn't bear those thoughts any longer.

***CONTINUES***

Okay, here's the fluffiness I promised you… two chapters, yay! Am I good? Am I? Let me know!!