Bordering on a dangerous obsession. Chapter 36

Time to break this into bits and examine each one.

- I was on a lot of pills.
- I was on the superpill.
- I was tired as all fuck.
- I got dressed in skankware.
- I took off said skankware.
- I looked at myself, and then I got horny at my own reflection?

Crazy as it was, that appeared to be the chain of events.

First, let's cross off the lots of pills for now, it hasn't done anything like that prior and I had taken hundreds thus far. We can also cross off tired. That ain't been new neither, though it may have helped let my guard down or something.

Testing with the superpill was going to be put on the bottom of the pile. Far too risky.

That left Skankware. Yaaay. What a fun way to spend my next free day.

Oo0oO

Now for the next bit, what exactly the fuck happened to me in the locker room that had me need to use sink water and toilet paper like a maniac?

First off, I gave myself a wedgie just to be sure. Hey, some people got off with hooks in their back, couldn't be too careful. And nope. Still worth a shot.

And thanks to that thing in the locker room, I now had to ask; Do I like girls? And not in a friend sort of way?

An hour of lesbian porn indicated otherwise.

I mean, the girls were pretty, and I could appreciate the acrobatics involved, and the videos were classier than the suck and slams I'd been watching, with better lighting and music...

But no. Blondes, brunettes, red heads, asians, latinos, blacks, hell even albinos. Barely eighteen, college girls, preggos, MILF's, GMILF's. I even dug up some girls my age just to be sure.

Nothing.

What about men? Cut or not, flabby or fit, nine to ninety.

Nothing.

I made a note to clean my browser's history before Marcus got home. No telling when he'll try to sneak on my machine again.

Oo0oO

I blinked. I must've nodded off there for a bit. The online lingerie catalog I had open was still stuck on the thing Jessi was wearing. On their own, or on the model, it wasn't doing anything for me, aside of making me gawk at how so little cost so big. Eye patches and dental floss should not cost that fucking much!

My phone was buzzing in my pocket, it was Dave. He was tired, and was wondering if it was all right to make this a slack day.

Huzzah! Thank fuck! A valid excuse not to collapse on him like I did on that stakeout!

Naturally I couldn't let him go with a blunt, "Sure whatever." or some shit, he might think I'm weak.

"Oh, Dave," I said as sweetly as I could. I could practically hear his hackles rise at that. "If you're tired, no worries, you need your beauty sleep. But I will be tacking extra cardio on our next training session. And, you'll owe me a favor."

An email came in on my computer as Dave grumbled and made excuses. After a glance any joy at his grumbling withered and died.

"In fact," I trailed off. "I think I'll cash it in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What's happening then?"

"Apparently," and I reread the email to be sure. "I promised this afternoon to go with Angela and Jessi tomorrow after school. Bikini shopping naturally."

I could see the hamster in Dave's skull warm up the wheel in my minds eye.

"Whuh?" The wheel needed a little bit of grease.

"You heard me."

"But why? Why me?"

"Because we are partners, and thus we share. I will be miserable, you will be miserable, and thus we will deepen our bonds in shared misery." I emphasized the words sweetly.

"Can you even wear a bikini?" His voice was petulant.

My eyes narrowed. "Care to explain that sentence?"

He'd been fucking Katie for a while and thus caught on to what exactly he said faster than the average nerd. "No no! I don't mean it like that! I mean can you even wear one with that padded suit?"

A good point. "I have one built into a one piece that I wear with a large t-shirt. In fact, let me email them just that." I don't wear bikinis stop should I still be going with you? stop.

The response came back in less than half a minute. "You are the designated bikini bitch." I recited. "Explain this Dave."

He chuckled. "It's the person, usually the boyfriend, who has to fetch the bikinis for them to try and put them back when they are done, and tell them how they look."

That didn't sound too bad. "And the catch?"

"You'll be doing it thirty or forty times. Each."

Fuckity fuck fuck with a side order of fuck.

Wait... There were skimpy as fuck bikini's weren't there? An excellent chance to experiment.

"Oh Dave..."

"Yes Bikini Bitch?" Har de fucking har Dave.

"Do you know what they call the Bikini Bitch's bitch?"

"How's that?"

"They call it Dave."

At his spluttered protests I pushed on. "I'm gonna be in the fat suit, so I can't exactly go in and out trying them. And even if I find one, I can't exactly buy it without raising suspicion."

"I repeat my earlier statement slightly revised. Since when did you want to wear a bikini."

"Honestly, I never have. But if I'm gonna be stuck in there for hours and hours, I will try some on, if only to cross it off my bucket list. Tried skanky dental floss. Check."

He snorted at that. "Fine."

And that was that.

After I hung up, I tromped downstairs, left a note downstairs for Marcus saying I was tired and will eat when I got up.

I barely managed to goop and pill up before I crashed.

Oo0oO

Intruder!

I went from Walk to Kill.

The PPK and knife were in my hands and I sprung at the fucker in seconds. After a quiet tussle, I flipped over him and had a gun at his temple and a knife at the balls.

Then my bare tits rubbed against the frills of his uniform. It was Maid-man.

"I knocked." he said quietly, holding up his own phone.

Right, I had a new phone.

"Max didn't forward you my new number?" He shook his head.

Sighing I gave him the new number, and demanded his so I can send him the next one.

With that crisis out of the way, I recalled I had my tits pressed against his back. Telling him not to turn around I took a step and grabbed shirt #4.

Oo0oO

"So," I said, when I wasn't giving him a free show and had the lights on. "What you got for me?"

A bundle was rolled out like a set of thieve's tools, only cock-shaped.

New little Dave's.

"That was fast." I noted, surprised. Then a thought occurred to me. "These are not used right? Not by you or..." I couldn't finish that sentence EVER.

Goddamn Max.

"No. These were purchased under the guise of a display set for a store. Many sizes and shapes."

These ones were all the same length, but the thickness went up and up, well past what was Dave, or any human could achieve. Some of them were thicker than my goddamn fist. I think I could literally beat someone to death with the one on the end.

Now which one was right?

It was the third one after testing. His face was carefully bland as I popped it out of my face. It irked me slightly.

"Nothing to say?" I said somewhat crossly when I could speak.

He shook his head slowly. "It's just that, you can put that in, but you can't handle an egg roll?"

"Are you asking for a knife to the balls? 'Cause that's all I'm hearing." But my lips were twitching. As were his.

Then I had an evil thought. I handed him an unused dildo. "Stand up."

He did, perplexed.

"Now watch carefully." And I showed him the knife trick that got him every time.

Oo0oO

After a half hour, he could deflect the dildo aimed for his balls with his own, and I assured him that if he could do it with a rubber dick, a knife would be way easier.

And with that, I kicked him out, but for one final thing.

"What's your name anyways?"

"My name is Cato. With a C."

"Good to know you Cato with a C."

And then he was out my window a quiet rustle of branches.